The world we wanted 41/?
Serbia reads the newspaper and proceeds giggling like an idiot, right after he claimed all of the coach and most of Prussia's dinner. If it isn't for how he has the good gossip on America and France Prussia would throw him out a lot more often. Hungary at least tries to restrain herself even if she is just as amused.
“Your boss must be trying to compensate for how you and Russia have been pretty cold lately,” Hungary says and looks again at the photo from Brezhnev's visit when he pretty much makes out with Prussia's boss.
Prussia tries to scowl at them, but they're right, it's pretty funny. Who is going to tell the boss of East Germany and Russia how weird it looks? Well, he might, if Russia has been more comfortable leaving him alone with Brezhnev. When Honecker even tries to speak well of former Prussia it isn't a good time to tease him. He really does try.
“Is it that obvious that the ups and downs with me and Russia.. have been a bit down lately?”
“Mmhm,” Hungary says. “It is. Especially with the rumors about you and Vietnam. And Russia has a few of his own about Vietnam. I think it's because America and China hate her she ended up with a bit of a... bad reputation.”
It pisses Prussia off how they even dare to gossip about that. Or call Vietnam slutty which obviously is what Hungary is hinting at.
“I doubt Vietnam has time having affairs with both me, Laos and Russia. And Cambodia is usually thrown in there as well, right? She has a country to try to rebuild too...”
“I'm glad you're taking it well,” Hungary says.
“You're taking it too well,” Serbia thinks. “You should worry more about Russia. When he tries to feel me up I know he's feeling pretty fucking depressed.”
“...say that again?” Prussia says.
“That's not the point. The point is how we all noticed things aren't that amazing anymore. America isn't as good at seeing through Russia's bullshit as we are, but maybe even he will pay attention soon.”
“I think we should go back to the first point,” Hungary says.
“No, we're not,” Serbia says. “I will instead remind you how we in Yugoslavia actually are welcome pretty much everywhere and I checked out both sides of the iron curtain. Our side needs to work a lot harder, I'm a bit worried.”
“That's horrible,” Hungary says with all the wrong kind of enthusiasm. “Tell me all about it.”
***
Since it's a rumor going around and China outright said it Prussia wants to make sure Russia isn't freaking out about it. He should know, but on the other hand he is the master of denial.
“So, uhm, you're fine with how I'm close to Vietnam?” Prussia says.
North Korea is visiting and it makes it a good time to bring it up, Russia has started to get more and more mellow around her, probably because he doesn't want to start up another angry disjointed rant.
“Vietnam is our ally,” Russia says. “A good friend to keep close. I'm so happy you start to get along with people again.”
Russia pauses, considering if he should continue or not. “I'm close friends with India too.”
“What?”
“I'm not surprised,” North says without looking up from her book. “India is a whore.”
Russia makes a strangled noise as he realizes this conversation didn't go above her head at all. Then his eyes narrow but North doesn't pay attention the way she should.
“Hey, who taught you words like that?” Prussia says. “No, wait, I think I can guess. Pakistan?”
To say China and Pakistan don't like India is like saying there is a bit of water in the ocean. And North listens to all the wrong things and interprets them in her own way.
“I'm not that naive,” North says, turning the page and smiling to herself.
“Then you are old enough to think about how you speak about India and Israel in my house,” Russia says in the same tone promising violence he uses against the Baltics when they protests against Soviet Union policies. He takes North's book and throws it across the room.
She looks up, her violet eyes slowly filling with tears.
“You shouldn't be mean to me,” she says. “You're like my family. It's bad enough when you fight with my big brother China. Why do you want to fight with me too?”
“If my family behave we wouldn't have to fight,” Russia says. “I don't understand why I need to explain that over and over again.”
North nods in agreement and they smile at each other, with the same fake brightness and expressionless eyes. She is growing up but Russia is beginning to catch on as well.
***
While Prussia tries to not mock Honecker and writes letters to Vietnam so she will feel less isolated Russia gets himself into other problems. Tajik trails after Russia and tries to convince him it's actually a problem.
“You shouldn't fight with Afghanistan,” Tajik says. “It's not worth it. He is my neighbor, I know what he's like. He's going to keep a grudge if you attack him and you'll have another murderously angry guy on your hands without really gaining anything.”
Russia dismisses her and continues to think it would be a brilliant idea. When she tries again she makes sure Prussia has checked up the situation and agrees with her.
“Maybe Tajik has a point,” Prussia says. Some of Afghanistan guys want communism, most don't and Afghanistan himself is deeply suspicious of Russia's motives. It's nothing they haven't heard before and it never ends well. “Remember Vietnam, I think Afghanistan is even crazier. He can keep things going forever, especially if America hands him weapons. And we know both he will.”
“That is going to come back and haunt him someday,” Russia says. “I'll be fine.”
“It's going to come back to haunt you both. Everyone has caught on by now that by saying something about either supporting communism or bravely fight against it you can get completely disproportional support. We should do stuff like focusing on your Olympics, which is really awesome, not spend all your oil money on pointless wars.”
“Listen to East,” Tajik says. “We don't need anything Afghanistan has, just let him sit there and act crazy by himself."
“I can do better than America,” Russia says. “I'm not as incompetent as him. If Vietnam wasn't my good friend I could have defeated her if I wanted to. And America had nothing to do in Vietnam, Afghanistan is our neighbor and that makes it my business.”
“As long as you learned anything from America's mistakes,” Prussia says. “It would be pretty good if you showed him how it's done. But if you do this, you have to win. Otherwise it's pointless and embarrassing.”
“You're a horrible ally East!” Tajik says. “Russia, please, listen to me instead.”
Russia smiles kindly at her.
“It's just going to take a few weeks or so. I'll be finished with this long before my Olympics, don't worry. We can spend all the time we want on that Prussia.”
“Our Olympics,” Tajik mutters. “And you still mock America for when he said things like that too...”
But she doesn't push Russia further and Prussia has other things on his mind, if Russia is that confident it's fine.With the right motivation he is insanely dangerous.
***
Prussia offers his support without even asking his boss, secure in the knowledge Russia will turn it down. Of course he does.
“Thank you Prussia,” Russia says. “Very considerate of you but I don't need any help. Cuba was very supportive too but Romania cursed at me again. I don't understand why he has to be like that.”
“Romania is a special little snowflake, isn't he?”
“You wouldn't like to live in his house nearly as much as you think,” Russia distantly says. “No one wants that as much as they think..."
***
America and China vote for condemning Russia's war in UN. Which of course Russia promptly votes down.
“Wow that was pointless,” Prussia says. “I hope you feel bad about the oxygen you wasted. We all got a bit more stupid by sitting here.”
“Sometimes it is about making a statement East Germany,” China says.
America loudly protests, all the previous sympathy and beginning to understanding is gone now. But behind the harsh words Prussia can see how America is practically giddy in anticipation He is delighted Russia's plans go on unchanged. That's not good at all.
I don't Tajikstan protested in real life, but in Hetalia it kind of fits since they are neighbors and get along pretty well. The minor nations keep getting annoyed over how Russia usually refers to the Soviet Union as "I". Except the Baltics who are probably happy to not be included.
“Your boss must be trying to compensate for how you and Russia have been pretty cold lately,” Hungary says and looks again at the photo from Brezhnev's visit when he pretty much makes out with Prussia's boss.
Prussia tries to scowl at them, but they're right, it's pretty funny. Who is going to tell the boss of East Germany and Russia how weird it looks? Well, he might, if Russia has been more comfortable leaving him alone with Brezhnev. When Honecker even tries to speak well of former Prussia it isn't a good time to tease him. He really does try.
“Is it that obvious that the ups and downs with me and Russia.. have been a bit down lately?”
“Mmhm,” Hungary says. “It is. Especially with the rumors about you and Vietnam. And Russia has a few of his own about Vietnam. I think it's because America and China hate her she ended up with a bit of a... bad reputation.”
It pisses Prussia off how they even dare to gossip about that. Or call Vietnam slutty which obviously is what Hungary is hinting at.
“I doubt Vietnam has time having affairs with both me, Laos and Russia. And Cambodia is usually thrown in there as well, right? She has a country to try to rebuild too...”
“I'm glad you're taking it well,” Hungary says.
“You're taking it too well,” Serbia thinks. “You should worry more about Russia. When he tries to feel me up I know he's feeling pretty fucking depressed.”
“...say that again?” Prussia says.
“That's not the point. The point is how we all noticed things aren't that amazing anymore. America isn't as good at seeing through Russia's bullshit as we are, but maybe even he will pay attention soon.”
“I think we should go back to the first point,” Hungary says.
“No, we're not,” Serbia says. “I will instead remind you how we in Yugoslavia actually are welcome pretty much everywhere and I checked out both sides of the iron curtain. Our side needs to work a lot harder, I'm a bit worried.”
“That's horrible,” Hungary says with all the wrong kind of enthusiasm. “Tell me all about it.”
***
Since it's a rumor going around and China outright said it Prussia wants to make sure Russia isn't freaking out about it. He should know, but on the other hand he is the master of denial.
“So, uhm, you're fine with how I'm close to Vietnam?” Prussia says.
North Korea is visiting and it makes it a good time to bring it up, Russia has started to get more and more mellow around her, probably because he doesn't want to start up another angry disjointed rant.
“Vietnam is our ally,” Russia says. “A good friend to keep close. I'm so happy you start to get along with people again.”
Russia pauses, considering if he should continue or not. “I'm close friends with India too.”
“What?”
“I'm not surprised,” North says without looking up from her book. “India is a whore.”
Russia makes a strangled noise as he realizes this conversation didn't go above her head at all. Then his eyes narrow but North doesn't pay attention the way she should.
“Hey, who taught you words like that?” Prussia says. “No, wait, I think I can guess. Pakistan?”
To say China and Pakistan don't like India is like saying there is a bit of water in the ocean. And North listens to all the wrong things and interprets them in her own way.
“I'm not that naive,” North says, turning the page and smiling to herself.
“Then you are old enough to think about how you speak about India and Israel in my house,” Russia says in the same tone promising violence he uses against the Baltics when they protests against Soviet Union policies. He takes North's book and throws it across the room.
She looks up, her violet eyes slowly filling with tears.
“You shouldn't be mean to me,” she says. “You're like my family. It's bad enough when you fight with my big brother China. Why do you want to fight with me too?”
“If my family behave we wouldn't have to fight,” Russia says. “I don't understand why I need to explain that over and over again.”
North nods in agreement and they smile at each other, with the same fake brightness and expressionless eyes. She is growing up but Russia is beginning to catch on as well.
***
While Prussia tries to not mock Honecker and writes letters to Vietnam so she will feel less isolated Russia gets himself into other problems. Tajik trails after Russia and tries to convince him it's actually a problem.
“You shouldn't fight with Afghanistan,” Tajik says. “It's not worth it. He is my neighbor, I know what he's like. He's going to keep a grudge if you attack him and you'll have another murderously angry guy on your hands without really gaining anything.”
Russia dismisses her and continues to think it would be a brilliant idea. When she tries again she makes sure Prussia has checked up the situation and agrees with her.
“Maybe Tajik has a point,” Prussia says. Some of Afghanistan guys want communism, most don't and Afghanistan himself is deeply suspicious of Russia's motives. It's nothing they haven't heard before and it never ends well. “Remember Vietnam, I think Afghanistan is even crazier. He can keep things going forever, especially if America hands him weapons. And we know both he will.”
“That is going to come back and haunt him someday,” Russia says. “I'll be fine.”
“It's going to come back to haunt you both. Everyone has caught on by now that by saying something about either supporting communism or bravely fight against it you can get completely disproportional support. We should do stuff like focusing on your Olympics, which is really awesome, not spend all your oil money on pointless wars.”
“Listen to East,” Tajik says. “We don't need anything Afghanistan has, just let him sit there and act crazy by himself."
“I can do better than America,” Russia says. “I'm not as incompetent as him. If Vietnam wasn't my good friend I could have defeated her if I wanted to. And America had nothing to do in Vietnam, Afghanistan is our neighbor and that makes it my business.”
“As long as you learned anything from America's mistakes,” Prussia says. “It would be pretty good if you showed him how it's done. But if you do this, you have to win. Otherwise it's pointless and embarrassing.”
“You're a horrible ally East!” Tajik says. “Russia, please, listen to me instead.”
Russia smiles kindly at her.
“It's just going to take a few weeks or so. I'll be finished with this long before my Olympics, don't worry. We can spend all the time we want on that Prussia.”
“Our Olympics,” Tajik mutters. “And you still mock America for when he said things like that too...”
But she doesn't push Russia further and Prussia has other things on his mind, if Russia is that confident it's fine.With the right motivation he is insanely dangerous.
***
Prussia offers his support without even asking his boss, secure in the knowledge Russia will turn it down. Of course he does.
“Thank you Prussia,” Russia says. “Very considerate of you but I don't need any help. Cuba was very supportive too but Romania cursed at me again. I don't understand why he has to be like that.”
“Romania is a special little snowflake, isn't he?”
“You wouldn't like to live in his house nearly as much as you think,” Russia distantly says. “No one wants that as much as they think..."
***
America and China vote for condemning Russia's war in UN. Which of course Russia promptly votes down.
“Wow that was pointless,” Prussia says. “I hope you feel bad about the oxygen you wasted. We all got a bit more stupid by sitting here.”
“Sometimes it is about making a statement East Germany,” China says.
America loudly protests, all the previous sympathy and beginning to understanding is gone now. But behind the harsh words Prussia can see how America is practically giddy in anticipation He is delighted Russia's plans go on unchanged. That's not good at all.
I don't Tajikstan protested in real life, but in Hetalia it kind of fits since they are neighbors and get along pretty well. The minor nations keep getting annoyed over how Russia usually refers to the Soviet Union as "I". Except the Baltics who are probably happy to not be included.