4.3 [1/3]
4.3 [1/3]
Author: catchmyambition
Rating: PG13 for language
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Kangin/Hyukjae
Dedicated to freedomthisway
Fall 2000
Shuffle, shuffle, tap. Shuffle shuffle, tap. I listen to the sound of my feet and cane as I make my way to my favorite bench in the park nearby my house (House. It can never be a home without him.). It is worn and tired, and the paint is chipping away daily. I do not fail to notice the glaring similarities between the bench and me, for I am also worn and tired, life slowly but surely chipping away. I don’t fear my death, but instead long for it. My soul thirsts for the day I will be with him again, for the moment I’ll be able to see his face. Does he hate me for what I did? Surely I’ve suffered enough for my cowardice, spending a lifetime alone of should-have-beens, could-have-beens. Indeed, I do not fear death at all. With death, I will be given life. With death, I will find him, no matter how much time, how many lives it takes.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Spring 1948
“Come on Hyukjae, you can’t tell me you support these people! They’re taking our land, our food, who knows what’s next!”
“I never said that, Youngwoon, don’t put words in my mouth. All I’m saying is that I don’t think answering violence with more violence is going to help anything. Isn’t that the reason it’s this bad now?”
Hyukjae brought his hands to the bridge of his nose, soothing the headache that always came when he and Youngwoon argued.
“Hyukjae, you just don’t understand. They don’t care if we starve, so long as we aren’t in their way. And now that we are, they’re killing us! You know Ryeowook? They murdered him, Hyukjae. Raped him and threw him in a river. Just for fun.”
“Ryeo- what? But, he-he’s just a boy, he couldn’t..” Hyukjae fell back a few steps, numb.
“I know, but they don’t care. We can’t just sit and discuss things, they’re ruthless and the only way we’re gonna show them anything is -”
“Hurting them,” Hyukjae finished sarcastically.
“Damn it, don’t you get it? It’s the only way!” Youngwoon screamed as he brought his fist down to the table.
“But what about me?” Hyukjae whispered, almost to himself. “What about us? What if you don’t come back? What if you die, Youngwoon? What am I supposed to do without you?”
Youngwoon’s eyes softened as he leaned in to embrace the younger.
“I’ll come back, Hyukkie. I swear I’ll come back to you.” He bent down to place a chaste kiss on the younger’s lips. “Let’s go to bed, okay baby?”
With a watery chuckle, Hyukjae halfheartedly hit Youngwoon in the chest. “Is sex all you ever think about?”
“Ah, how you wound me. I’ll have you know I often think of how good your cooking is.”
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Youngwoon woke up at dawn, unable to sleep. He dreaded the fight he knew would ensue once he told Hyukjae he was leaving today. No matter how much Hyukjae pleaded, Youngwoon just couldn’t let this moment slip him by. He could, would be a hero, for himself, for Hyukjae, for his country. This was his chance, possibly his only chance, to prove himself.
Gazing at Hyukjae’s naked form beside him, Youngwoon knew what he had to do. He quickly dressed, being sure to fold his pajamas up and put them in the closet as Hyukjae always had to remind him. Leaving a note on his pillow and kissing his lover’s lips, a lone tear fell onto Hyukjae’s cheek.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Hyukjae yawned as he was slowly woken up by the bright sun through the window. Despite it being a warm spring day, he couldn’t help but feel chilled, felt in his bones something was wrong. Dismissing the thought, Hyukjae slid into his slippers and hurried to the kitchen to help Youngwoon with breakfast before he accidentally burnt down the house.
As he walked down the hall, the eerie silence clawed at his mind. He tried to ignore it as he turned the corner, expecting to find Youngwoon standing at the kitchen, possibly nursing a first degree burn. He was instead greeted by silence. Everything was exactly as he had left it. Everything except the dirty dishes. Distracted by Youngwoon, Hyukjae had abandoned from dinner the night before in the sink. Now they were all scrubbed spotless and put back in the cupboard, in their correct spots. Hyukjae’s nervousness intensified tenfold. He ran from room to room, only to find the same silence everywhere. Desperate, he fled back to the bedroom when he saw it. The note on the pillow.
“I have to. Uilym evat sa.”
Hyukjae smiled at the last part, despite the fact that his entire world was turning upside down. Uilym evat sa. It was their code, the “Younghyuk language” as their mothers called it when they were young. I love you too, Youngwoon. Be safe, please. Uilym evat sa.
Uilym evat sa is backwards Lithuanian for I love you.
Please review!
Part Two
Author: catchmyambition
Rating: PG13 for language
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Kangin/Hyukjae
Dedicated to freedomthisway
Fall 2000
Shuffle, shuffle, tap. Shuffle shuffle, tap. I listen to the sound of my feet and cane as I make my way to my favorite bench in the park nearby my house (House. It can never be a home without him.). It is worn and tired, and the paint is chipping away daily. I do not fail to notice the glaring similarities between the bench and me, for I am also worn and tired, life slowly but surely chipping away. I don’t fear my death, but instead long for it. My soul thirsts for the day I will be with him again, for the moment I’ll be able to see his face. Does he hate me for what I did? Surely I’ve suffered enough for my cowardice, spending a lifetime alone of should-have-beens, could-have-beens. Indeed, I do not fear death at all. With death, I will be given life. With death, I will find him, no matter how much time, how many lives it takes.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Spring 1948
“Come on Hyukjae, you can’t tell me you support these people! They’re taking our land, our food, who knows what’s next!”
“I never said that, Youngwoon, don’t put words in my mouth. All I’m saying is that I don’t think answering violence with more violence is going to help anything. Isn’t that the reason it’s this bad now?”
Hyukjae brought his hands to the bridge of his nose, soothing the headache that always came when he and Youngwoon argued.
“Hyukjae, you just don’t understand. They don’t care if we starve, so long as we aren’t in their way. And now that we are, they’re killing us! You know Ryeowook? They murdered him, Hyukjae. Raped him and threw him in a river. Just for fun.”
“Ryeo- what? But, he-he’s just a boy, he couldn’t..” Hyukjae fell back a few steps, numb.
“I know, but they don’t care. We can’t just sit and discuss things, they’re ruthless and the only way we’re gonna show them anything is -”
“Hurting them,” Hyukjae finished sarcastically.
“Damn it, don’t you get it? It’s the only way!” Youngwoon screamed as he brought his fist down to the table.
“But what about me?” Hyukjae whispered, almost to himself. “What about us? What if you don’t come back? What if you die, Youngwoon? What am I supposed to do without you?”
Youngwoon’s eyes softened as he leaned in to embrace the younger.
“I’ll come back, Hyukkie. I swear I’ll come back to you.” He bent down to place a chaste kiss on the younger’s lips. “Let’s go to bed, okay baby?”
With a watery chuckle, Hyukjae halfheartedly hit Youngwoon in the chest. “Is sex all you ever think about?”
“Ah, how you wound me. I’ll have you know I often think of how good your cooking is.”
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Youngwoon woke up at dawn, unable to sleep. He dreaded the fight he knew would ensue once he told Hyukjae he was leaving today. No matter how much Hyukjae pleaded, Youngwoon just couldn’t let this moment slip him by. He could, would be a hero, for himself, for Hyukjae, for his country. This was his chance, possibly his only chance, to prove himself.
Gazing at Hyukjae’s naked form beside him, Youngwoon knew what he had to do. He quickly dressed, being sure to fold his pajamas up and put them in the closet as Hyukjae always had to remind him. Leaving a note on his pillow and kissing his lover’s lips, a lone tear fell onto Hyukjae’s cheek.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Hyukjae yawned as he was slowly woken up by the bright sun through the window. Despite it being a warm spring day, he couldn’t help but feel chilled, felt in his bones something was wrong. Dismissing the thought, Hyukjae slid into his slippers and hurried to the kitchen to help Youngwoon with breakfast before he accidentally burnt down the house.
As he walked down the hall, the eerie silence clawed at his mind. He tried to ignore it as he turned the corner, expecting to find Youngwoon standing at the kitchen, possibly nursing a first degree burn. He was instead greeted by silence. Everything was exactly as he had left it. Everything except the dirty dishes. Distracted by Youngwoon, Hyukjae had abandoned from dinner the night before in the sink. Now they were all scrubbed spotless and put back in the cupboard, in their correct spots. Hyukjae’s nervousness intensified tenfold. He ran from room to room, only to find the same silence everywhere. Desperate, he fled back to the bedroom when he saw it. The note on the pillow.
“I have to. Uilym evat sa.”
Hyukjae smiled at the last part, despite the fact that his entire world was turning upside down. Uilym evat sa. It was their code, the “Younghyuk language” as their mothers called it when they were young. I love you too, Youngwoon. Be safe, please. Uilym evat sa.
Uilym evat sa is backwards Lithuanian for I love you.
Please review!
Part Two