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Lost .7 lbs after 4 days of working out. I'm upset. Im eating a bit better but still not great. I'm afraid to go back to ED habits. It made me gain more weight last time and I'd end up binging. But I'm also not losing weight this way. Frustrated.
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After two days of working out I've gained .7 lbs. pretty upset. All of my friends are working out now too and I don't want to be the fat one. Christina is already 10 lbs. lighter than me. I'm so behind. I don't want to go to the doctor at the end of April and be obese. Apparently I'm one lbs into the obese category. This is the most I've weighted ( Read more... ) -
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Today I had:
3/4 granola bar 130
Medium iced kicker 250
Turkey foot long 500
BBQ chips 130
Slice of bread peanut butter 170
Rice chips 130
Almonds 100
1310
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Feel gross. In a hotel in Lewiston just got McDonald's. I have no roommate it's ridiculous that I eat this way when I could be not eating at all and no one would bother me.
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Weighed myself naked this morning 152.4. Mom weighed herself after breakfast and fully clothed 155. Fuck. I think we weigh the same. I've hit rock bottom with weight. Goal is to weigh 145 by the time she's out of town
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155. Mom is in town. Want to die. She weighed herself with all her clothes on. 163. I weigh almost as much as her. Fucking kill me. Must be 135 by Mexico. One month to lose 20 lbs.
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Feeling weak. I'm not even hungry but all I want to do is eat. I want to say fuck it and eat whatever until the new year but then it'd be even harder to get rid of....152.3
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Where did all my wonderful will power go? I read my entries from college and I'm amazed at what I did there. I make excuses now and say 'well I'm living with my dad now and he makes me meals and my boyfiend is here and I have friends'. In college I didn't have any friends so it was super easy to just never eat and exercise all the time. Now I'm ( Read more... ) -
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575 calories today. yesssssssssss.