Stop, before you fall, into the hole that I have dug here...

[not_a_eunuch]

"I have a confession to make."I watched from across the room as Faith gave her confession to one of the officers on duty. My stomach was in knots. She needed me to save her. I knew that. I knew it when she was standing in the rain and begging me to kill her. Faith wanted redemption, but she wasn't going to find it locked behind bars. There was no

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[lastguardian]

I'm not usually like this. For crying out loud, I'm the Slayer. I do what I have to do and right now I have to leave, because this Angel thing? Badness. Sheer badness.

"Is that what you want? Is this how you wanted things to turn out, Buffy?"

The way he says my name is like a caress in and of itself. The way he's looking at me? I have a life back in Sunnydale, a life and a school and friends and a boyfriend, but I can't even remember said boyfriend's name. I'm on a slippery slope here and my Slayer senses? Not helping.

"Of course it's not how I wanted things to turn out," I answer bitterly. How could I have wanted this? How could he even think I'd want things to turn out this way? "If I had my way, Faith wouldn't have gone all evil-skank and we'd be best friends and you'd still be in Sunnydale. With me."

Oh, yay. Yay for bluntness. Any more secrets to hide? Because right now, the defenses? Not at all defensive. "But I wanted all that before Faith jumped into my skin and --" I wasn't even going to say it. Wasn't going to tell him

[not_a_eunuch]

"I'm not trying to defend the things she did." I say, pausing as I search for words that won't contradict that statement. "Things were...intense between you and then she was in a coma for awhile

[lastguardian]

At first I can’t believe he’s saying these things. Doesn’t he remember? Because for me? It’s crystal clear. Faith killed somebody, and she tried to kill Angel. If she hadn’t fucked up, the way she always fucks up, she wouldn’t have had a prayer. I can’t live in a world without Angel. I already tried.

That was, obviously, why she deserved to be in jail. In prison. Behind bars. Away from me, and Angel, and Xander and Willow and everybody else she’d hurt in her short tenure as evil-bitch.

But then Angel’s looking at me and Faith doesn’t even exist, never mind… matter. Because it’s just Angel. And me being near Angel and Angel being near me, and did he just admit that he was wrong? Because all of a sudden I’m not Slayer Buffy I’m just Girl Buffy and this is the way things are supposed to be

[not_a_eunuch]

She asks if I'm coming back and for a moment I actually consider it. It's hard when she's so damn close and my feelings are surfacing. It's easier to forget or at least try and convince myself that I've forgotten, when she isn't standing in front of me. When I'm not inhaling her scent, drowning in everything that I love about Buffy