Fic: Fight or Flight - Chapter Two

[writefiction]

Title / Chapter: Fight or Flight (02/11)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister / writefiction
Beta: scorpio_15
Artist: adobejunkie
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: NC-17 over all
Notes: First written for all_unwritten writing prompt #234: I can’t be trusted. Continued for kradambigbang Round 4.
Other Notes: Kris and Katy weren’t married when he was on Idol, but they were dating.
Master Fic Post
Master Art Post
Warnings: Nothing too bad, just some dancing. ;)
Word Count: 3,665
Summary: Kris and Katy call it quits before the Idol Tour begins because Kris is in love with Adam. But Kris is too afraid to tell Adam how he feels. Until one day it slips out and Kris thinks he’s ruined everything. But little does he know, Adam feels the same. Their relationship has it’s ups and downs, but what will win out in the end? Is it fight or flight for this pair?





Chapter Two
After the show, the Idols decided they wanted to go out to a club. Allison, not yet eighteen, pouted at this. She was the baby of the group and wanted to hang with the big kids. But Kris promised to do something fun with her the next day as it was a rare day off for them. Adam had chimed in that he’d go along so they could have a Three Musketeers day. Only then did Allison smile widely, kiss the two men on the cheeks and bounce off towards her own room.

Somehow they ended up at a gay club, although Kris was pretty sure it was Adam’s doing. They found a big booth in the back, sat down and began to order drinks. Kris was nervous. Not because he’d never been to a gay club-Adam had wrangled him into going to a few before-but because he was sure Adam was going to get hit on left and right and Kris wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it. Adam was flirtatious by nature, even when he didn’t mean to be. But what if he went off with a stranger tonight? The mere thought of it had Kris balling his hands into fists in his lap as the waitress turned to him for his drink order.

He asked for a rum and coke, sat back in his seat and drummed his fingers on the tabletop as the group talked over the loud music. He could feel the bass thumping in his chest as he looked across the table at Adam. Adam was talking animatedly to Lil about something or other and it had Kris smiling at the way his hands flew about, adding their own words to the conversation. Suddenly the waitress was back with their drinks and Kris was distracted from his thoughts of Adam.

After a while, Kris was the last one at the table. Even Danny Gokey, who had seemed so uncomfortable when they had first arrived, had gotten up to dance with the others in their group. Kris was draining his fourth rum and coke when Adam sauntered over and slid into the booth next to Kris with a bottle of water. Adam was glowing with sweat, which made the scent of his cologne stronger. It was this spicy scent that made Kris just want to snuggle right into Adam’s side. So he did.

Adam giggled and wrapped an arm around Kris’ shoulders. “Someone’s had too much to drink,” he said. Kris nodded, his face pressed against Adam’s amazing smelling neck. Adam took a swig of his water and pressed his nose into Kris’ hair. “You wanna dance?”

“Hmm?” Kris hummed, too distracted by the feel and smell of Adam to fully comprehend what he had just asked.

“Do you, Kris Allen, want to dance with me, Adam Lambert?” Adam asked slowly.

Kris had seen Adam dance, had been watching him all night in fact, and the thought of dancing with him made a shiver race up his spine and his cock twitch inside his pants. Would he like to dance with Adam? Hell. Yeah.

Kris nodded and lifted his head to look at his best friend. “Only if you promise not to leave me for someone cuter,” he said with a small hiccup at the end.

Adam threw his head back and laughed. “Oh my gosh, you are drunk!”

“Am not,” Kris said with a pout.

Adam leaned in close, making Kris’ breath catch in his throat. “Don’t stick that lip out or it might get caught on mine,” Adam purred, and then grabbed Kris by the hand and dragged him out onto the dance floor.

Kris felt a little wobbly on his legs. Maybe that fourth rum and coke hadn’t been such a good idea. But suddenly he didn’t care, because Adam drew him in close and started to sway to the music. Kris snuggled into Adam’s chest, his face pressed against the soft material of Adam’s shirt. He wondered why he had said yes to this whole dancing thing when in reality, he had two left feet. He remembered why when Adam grabbed his waist and swiveled their hips together to the music, Adam’s noticeable bulge rubbing against Kris’ lower stomach.

Kris bit at his lower lip and tried not to groan, but he couldn’t help it when Adam did another swivel, practically forcing the sound from Kris’ throat. Kris looked up into Adam’s intense gaze and clasped his hands at the back of his neck. He drew Adam down until he could whisper in his ear. “What are you doing to me?” Adam didn’t answer, just gave Kris a wicked smile before spinning him around so they were chest to back.

Kris felt slightly dizzy from the spin and leaned back into Adam for support. Adam, as always, was there to hold Kris up, his arms winding tightly around Kris’ waist. Kris sighed quietly, the sound lost to the loud, pounding music as he let Adam’s larger frame manipulate his smaller one. Their hips moved to the beat, swiveled in tight little circles, and Kris couldn’t help noticing how low on his belly Adam’s hands were. He slid his hands down to cover Adam’s, maybe even pushed them a little lower so Adam’s thumbs hooked over his belt buckle, those long fingers settling dangerously close to where Kris’ pants were starting to tent.

“Mm this is nice,” Adam murmured, his lips oh-so-close to Kris’ ear. Kris nodded, humming in agreement, and ground his ass back against Adam. Adam clucked his tongue in Kris’ ear. “Hey now, no teasing.”

Kris turned around in Adam’s arms, gripped the back of Adam’s neck, and drew him down till they were nose to nose. “’M not teasing.”

“Yeah? And what would Katy say if she saw you?”

Kris straightened up, his head spinning as he did so. Katy! I forgot to tell Adam about Katy! Of all the stupid things Kris had done in his life, this had to be the worst, drunk and flirting with his best friend who had no clue that he and Katy were over. He suddenly felt ill and stumbled his way to the men’s room. He turned the tap on full blast and splashed his face a few times with ice cold water. “Fuck,” he muttered and almost jumped right out of his skin when he felt a hand on his lower back.

“Kris, you okay?” Adam asked.

Kris looked up at Adam’s reflection in the mirror and shook his head. “I don’t feel so good.”

Adam sighed. “Too many rum and cokes?”

Kris nodded, and it wasn’t a complete lie. The bile trying to crawl its way up his throat was due to the alcohol, but it was also due to what he’d been keeping from Adam and the rest of the Idols.

Adam rubbed Kris’ back gently. “Let’s get you back to the hotel, okay? You can shower and have some aspirin and water and lay down. How does that sound?”

Kris turned around and leaned back against the sink as he wiped his face with rough paper towels. “That sounds good,” he said quietly as Adam wrapped an arm around his shoulders and steered him out of the restroom. “Will you wait with me until the cab comes?” He looked up at Adam with hopeful eyes.

Adam smiled gently at Kris and carded a hand through his soft brown hair. “I’ll do one better than that,” he said and kissed Kris on the head, not saying another word as he maneuvered them towards the exit.

Once outside, Kris leaned heavily against Adam, who called for a cab with one arm wrapped tightly around him. Then Adam fooled with his iPhone a moment before putting it back in his pocket. “I just texted Lil to tell her we were leaving,” Adam told Kris.

“Wait, what? We’re leaving?”

Adam nodded, bringing his other arm around Kris to embrace him. “Yes, both of us, I have to make sure you get back to the hotel safely and tuck you into bed.”

Kris snorted. “You’re going to tuck me into bed?”

“Yeah, you deserve a little TLC right now.”

“You really don’t need to do this, Adam,” said Kris, straightening up as a cab pulled up to the curb. “I’ll be fine on my own. You go have fun.” He took a wobbly step towards the cab and Adam caught him around the waist.

“Nope, you need me, just admit it,” Adam said with a grin as he helped Kris into the back seat of the cab.

If he only knew, Kris thought as Adam climbed into the cab beside him.

****
Once in their shared hotel room, Kris flopped face-first onto his bed. It was so much more comfortable than the teeny-tiny bunk on the bus. He sighed quietly and nuzzled against his pillow. As he lay there unmoving, he felt the mattress by his feet sink. He felt hands untie his shoes and gently remove them, and then heard the sound of them hitting the floor with a thud.

Kris peeked over his shoulder and watched Adam take off his socks. He frowned. “Why are you undressing me?”

Adam tossed the pair of socks onto the floor and said, “Because you can’t sleep in your clothes. Besides, I thought you were going to shower.”

“I can undress myself,” Kris replied even as he complied with Adam’s request for him to roll over, relaxing back into his pillow. Adam moved up to sit near his torso next and began to unbutton his shirt with nimble fingers. Kris didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to stop what was happening. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to stop it. So he lay frozen while Adam finished popping the last button from its hole and then helped Kris into an upright position so he could slide the plaid shirt off.

Kris’ heart hammered against his ribcage as Adam threw the flannel to the floor. Then he pushed Kris down onto his back again. He reached for Kris’ belt buckle and Kris inhaled sharply as Adam unfastened the buckle, popped the button of his fly and slowly slid the zipper down. Kris grew hard in his jeans and wished he were one of those guys that couldn’t get it up when he was inebriated. But honestly, this situation was completely sobering, so much so that he was sure he wouldn’t be hung-over in the morning.

Adam moved to Kris’ feet again and grabbed the legs of his jeans, tugging gently until Kris lifted his hips. The denim slid off easily and Adam dumped the pants onto the floor with the rest of Kris’ clothing, leaving Kris in just his boxers. Kris watched as Adam’s gaze slowly made its way from Kris’ toes up, up, up until their eyes met. He sucked in a breath, unable to look away. Their eyes stayed locked as Adam made his way around the bed and sat down on the edge of it near Kris’ hip. Adam reached out to stroke the back of his fingers down the side of Kris’ face. “How’re you feeling? Any better?”

Kris scooted closer and licked his suddenly dry lips. “I’m feeling… less scared,” he said, leaning in.

Adam frowned. “Scared? Scared of what?”

“I’ve waited so long for this,” Kris whispered, his lips just a breath away from their destination.

Adam put a hand to Kris’ chest to stop him. “Kris, you’re drunk.”

“No I’m not,” Kris said.

“How many rum and cokes did you have?”

Kris screwed his face up in thought. “Four.”

“Were they fifty-fifty?” Adam asked.

Kris only nodded, seeing exactly where Adam was going with this.

“You’re drunk, and you’ll regret it in the morning.” Then Adam stood and moved about the room for a few moments before walking back over to Kris. He sat down on the bed and shook two aspirin into Kris’ hand. “Take these,” he commanded gently. “Drink this whole bottle of water and when you get out of the shower, there’ll be another one waiting at your bedside.”

Kris sighed, swallowed the pills down, and chugged the water. Adam stroked Kris’ hair gently and gave his friend a smile. “Go hop in the shower and when you’re done I’ll tuck you in.”

Kris’ eyes filled with tears, but he held them in. He didn’t want Adam to see him cry, especially when Adam thought he was drunk.

He went to the dresser and retrieved a pair of sleep pants and a wife-beater. Then he walked to the bathroom door, taking it one step at a time, so he wouldn’t fall over. Once he reached the bathroom and closed the door, he let the tears finally fall.

As he stepped out of his boxers, he bit down on his lower lip to keep the sobs at bay. He couldn’t believe he was getting so worked up over Adam’s rejection. But then again, he’d been in love with Adam since the moment they met and the rejection hurt, really and truly hurt. Kris didn’t think he’d be able to take rooming with Adam anymore; he’d ask for a room change in the morning.

When the water was warm enough, Kris stepped under the spray and finally, finally, let the sadness take over. He sat down in the bottom of the tub and cried, sobs shaking his body as he poured his pain into the drain. Once he calmed down, Kris used the hotel soap and shampoo to wash up.

After drying off, he wrapped a fluffy white towel around his waist then stepped up to the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed, nothing that couldn’t be explained by the amount of alcohol he had consumed just a short time ago. He sighed at himself, his reflection looking utterly sad, and began to get dressed.

When he exited the bathroom, he dropped his boxers on the pile of dirty clothes Adam had made, walked over to his bed, pulled the blankets back, and sat down on the edge of the mattress. He looked over at Adam and saw him staring down at his iPhone. Kris cleared his throat nervously. “Are you… are you going to tuck me in?”

Adam looked up and smiled at him. “Only if you still want me to.”

Kris nodded. “Please.”

Adam tossed his phone onto his bed and walked across the room to Kris. He pulled the blankets back all the way and waited for Kris to lie down. Then he drew the blankets up to Kris’ chin and tucked them in. “How’s that?” He asked softly.

“Good,” said Kris.

Adam leaned down, pressed a soft kiss to Kris’ forehead and whispered, “Sleep well. There’s water by your bed and I’m here if you need me.”

As Adam pulled away, Kris grabbed him by the wrist. “Stay,” he said quietly.

“What? Why? Are you still feeling sick?” Adam asked, a frown of concern marring his beautiful face.

Kris shook his head. “I…” He licked his lips and then blurted out the only thing he could think of. “Katy broke up with me.” The pitying look that Adam gave him made his eyes fill with tears.

“Oh, sweetie,” Adam cooed, his fingers brushing over Kris’ cheek. “Let me get rid of the makeup and change. Then we can talk, okay?” Kris nodded and Adam leaned down to kiss him on the forehead again.

Adam made his way into the bathroom with his pajamas in hand and Kris watched him carefully remove his makeup, starting first with the eyes then with the rest of his face. Kris pretended not to watch him strip down to his boxer-briefs before pulling on some sweats and an oversized t-shirt. Adam left his dirty clothes in the bathroom and shut the door part way, using the bulb above the sink as a nightlight after making the hotel room dark.

Kris’ eyes stayed glued to Adam as he made his way over to Kris’ bed and slid in next to him. Kris turned onto his side and tucked himself under Adam’s chin, his arms wrapping tightly around Adam’s ribs. Adam wrapped one arm around Kris and stroked the back of Kris’ neck with his free hand. “Talk to me,” he said quietly. “What happened? When did it happen?”

“When I was packing for tour,” Kris said.

“Kris!” Adam gasped, drawing back just enough to look Kris in the eyes. “We’ve been on tour for, like, six weeks now. When were you going to tell me?”

Kris shrugged as he stared at the center of Adam’s chest. He didn’t know why, but he just couldn’t meet his gaze.

Adam sighed and pulled Kris back to his chest, tucking Kris under his chin again. “Did she tell you why she was breaking up with you?”

Kris squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He wasn’t sure how much of the truth he should tell Adam. He breathed deeply, smelling the scent of cologne and sweat mixed together on Adam. Then he hugged him a little tighter and said, “She said I didn’t love her anymore.”

“That’s not true, is it?”

“I’ll always love her,” Kris said. “But things changed between us.”

“What changed? Was it Idol? Could she not handle the fame?”

Kris shook his head. “It wasn’t that.”

“Then what was it?”

“I…” Kris paused. He was one hundred percent positive that he couldn’t tell Adam that he was the cause of the breakup. Not now, not when Adam thought Kris was just drunk. He’d have to tell him some other time. So instead, Kris said, “My feelings changed. Yes, I love her, and I always will. She was my first love, but I don’t love her the same way anymore.”

“What does that mean?”

Kris gnawed on his lower lip for a moment. “It means that… Katy didn’t want to marry someone who was only her friend and I don’t blame her.”

“What about you? Do you want to get back together with her? Is this anything like that first week of senior year in high school?”

Kris knew Adam was asking all these questions because he was genuinely concerned for his friend. Kris also knew that Adam cared deeply for Katy; he also cared deeply for them as a couple. He knew Adam just wanted him to be happy. “This isn’t high school anymore, Adam. There’s no coming back from it this time.”

“Why not?”

“Because… because I fell in love with someone else.”

Kris’ jaw went slack and his eyes wide. He couldn’t believe he just said that out loud, and to Adam no less. That was the closest Kris had ever come to actually stating his feelings and while it was a shock, it was also kind of a relief to finally admit to it.

“You fell in love with someone else?” Adam asked slowly, as if he didn’t understand.

Kris nodded and clung tighter to him. There was a long moment of silence in which neither man spoke. Kris didn’t know what to think of the silence; he was scared, his heart pounding against his chest.

“Adam?” He finally whispered after what felt like an hour had passed. “Please say something.”

“Who?” Adam said it so quietly that Kris wasn’t sure he had heard right. But Adam cleared his throat and repeated the question, a little louder this time. “Who?”

Kris bit his lip hard. “I… I can’t tell you,” he said.

“Why not, is it someone I don’t like? Oh my god, it’s not Allison, is it?”

Kris pulled back to look at Adam in shock. “God no! She’s like my baby sister! Don’t be so gross!”

Adam grinned, a chuckle falling from his lips. “Just trying to lighten the mood,” he told Kris quietly. Kris slapped Adam’s shoulder. “Ow! What was that for?”

“That was so not funny,” Kris stated with a glare.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Adam apologized. “But seriously, why can’t you tell me? You tell me everything. Or at least you used to.”

Kris’ heart hurt over that last line. “I just… it’s a he,” he said.

Adam frowned. “A he?” Kris nodded. “So, not a woman?” Kris nodded again. “Wow, Kris, I don’t know what to say.” Adam paused. “Are you trying to tell me you’re gay?”

Kris felt himself blush. “I wouldn’t say gay,” he said. “I think bi. I mean, I’m really attracted to women, I like having sex with women, but this guy…” Kris sighed and pressed himself against Adam’s chest again, Adam hugging him tightly. “He makes me really happy.”

“He does?”

“Yeah I’m so in love with him, it’s kind of unbelievable.”

“Oh.”

“I just don’t know how he feels.”

“He hasn’t told you?”

“He uh, he kind of doesn’t know how I feel. Why would he tell me if I haven’t told him?” said Kris.

Adam nodded slowly. “I got ya.” He paused for a moment before saying, “But anyone would be lucky to be loved by you.”

“What?” Kris asked with a giggle.

“I just mean, he’s a lucky guy and I bet he feels the same.”

“I hope so,” Kris said and the two lapsed into a comfortable silence. Kris wondered when and how he should tell Adam that the man he was in love with was actually him. He wanted it to be special, and he wanted Adam to believe him. He was still a bit hurt that Adam had rejected his advances and was scared that it might happen once Adam knew the truth.

Kris sighed and closed his eyes. “Will you stay with me?” He asked softly. “All night, like we used to do in the mansion?”

Adam kissed Kris’ hair lightly. “Of course,” he replied. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

“I’ll always need you,” Kris whispered as the pull of sleep finally washed over him.

****

Chapter One // Chapter Three...