Fic: Fight or Flight - Chapter Ten
Title / Chapter: Fight or Flight (10/11)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister / writefiction
Beta: scorpio_15
Artist: adobejunkie
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: NC-17 (over all)
Notes: First written for all_unwritten writing prompt #234: I can’t be trusted. Continued for kradambigbang Round 4.
Other Notes: Kris and Katy weren’t married when he was on Idol, but they were dating.
Master Fic Post
Master Art Post
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1,114 (not including lyrics)
Summary: Kris and Katy call it quits before the Idol Tour begins because Kris is in love with Adam. But Kris is too afraid to tell Adam how he feels. Until one day it slips out and Kris thinks he’s ruined everything. But little does he know, Adam feels the same. Their relationship has it’s ups and downs, but what will win out in the end? Is it fight or flight for this pair?
SONG CREDIT
Song: Written All Over My Face
Artist: Kris Allen
Album: Kris Allen
Chapter Ten
Adam and Kris didn’t talk for the next few days and they didn’t share a hotel room. To Kris, Adam seemed to be doing just fine without him. But it was another story for Kris. He was completely miserable and there was nothing he could do about it. When they were in Little Rock, Kris took his family out to lunch. No one brought up the subject of the tabloid, and Kris couldn’t tell if they were being polite or if they just hadn’t seen it. He tried to act happy to see them, but his heart just wasn’t in it. He knew they could tell something was wrong and whenever they asked, he just dismissed it as being tired from being on the road. He was glad when no one pushed the issue. But when he was saying goodbye, his mom hugged him and whispered in his ear. “If you won’t tell your family what’s wrong, at least talk to Katy. She hasn’t heard from you in a while and I know she’d like to hear your voice.” And that was it she said nothing else.
That’s how Kris found himself in a quiet corner of the venue after sound check with his phone to his ear, waiting for Katy to pick up. Just before it was about to go to voicemail, Katy finally answered. “Kris! Hey!”
The corner of Kris’ mouth turned up slightly in the hint of a smile. “Hey, Katy.”
“You’re in Little Rock, right?”
“Yep.”
“Have you seen your family?”
“Yeah, and Mama told me to call you.”
There was a pause on the line then Katy spoke again. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
Kris sighed deeply and apparently that was all the answer Katy needed.
“Talk to me, Kris,” she said. “What’s going on? Are you and Adam fighting?”
“Not exactly. We uh, we kind of broke up.”
Kris heard Katy gasp through the phone. “Oh no, Kris! What happened?”
As soon as Kris started to explain, the words just poured from his lips, spilling out until the tears began to fall. “I don’t know what to do,” he whispered.
“I’m so sorry,” Katy said.
“And it’s like he’s doing just fine and I’m feeling the complete opposite of that. I’m so fucking miserable.”
“Why don’t you tell him that?”
“Because I don’t want to beg him to come back to me.”
“I never said to beg him. Just go talk to him. You said neither of you has spoken a word to each other. You don’t know, he might be feeling as bad as you are and he’s just a lot better at hiding it.”
Kris thought about it a moment. Adam had hid his feelings for Kris for such a long time and Kris had never guessed. Maybe he is good at hiding how he feels. “You might be right,” Kris said after a while.
“Then go talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel.”
“What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”
“He doesn’t need to talk, Kris, just get him to listen.”
A moment later Kris and Katy said their goodbyes and hung up. Kris had decided he’d try talking to Adam and if that didn’t work, he was going to make him listen. He was going to make Adam see exactly what was in his heart. He knew how to do it, but he was scared of the plan he had thought up. It involved coming out, being completely vulnerable, and in front of thousands of people. If this didn’t win him Adam again, he wasn’t sure anything would.
****
Later that day, as Kris was aimlessly walking around the venue, he ran into Adam. They both just stared at each other for a second, not saying a word. Then Adam made a move to turn around and Kris grabbed him by the wrist. “Don’t go,” he said quietly. Adam didn’t move. “Can we talk? Please?”
Adam turned around and looked at Kris, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “I don’t think there’s anything to really talk about.”
“If… if you don’t want to talk, could you at least listen?” Kris gave Adam the most pleading look he had, but Adam shook his head.
“No, there’s nothing you need to say that I need to hear.”
Kris’ shoulders slumped. “Fine,” he said quietly and let Adam walk away. He knew what he had to do now and he was scared. But it may be the only way he could get Adam back, or at the very least, get him to listen. Kris ran his hands through his hair and headed to the bus. He needed to get his plan in order so he’d be able to execute it just perfectly at the show that night.
****
Kris watched Adam perform from the wings. He was anxious about his set coming up, anxious that Adam wouldn’t stay to watch and hear what he had to say. So as soon as Adam came off stage, Kris grabbed him by the wrist. Adam gave him a hard look. “Please stay,” Kris said. “You wouldn’t at least listen to me earlier, so please stay and hear what I have to say.”
Adam’s eyebrows went up in surprise and he nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay.”
Kris gave him a weak smile then it was time for him to head out to the stage.
Kris sang all his regular songs. But when it came time for his last song of the night, he decided to change it up, decided to sing a song he had written that he’d never played for anyone before. He sat down on a stool with his acoustic guitar and looked over to where he’d left Adam standing. Thankfully, he was still there. With a deep breath, Kris began to speak. “I messed up,” he said. “I hurt someone that I care about very much.”
The audience went dead silent at that moment.
“I’ve been in love with Adam since the moment we met.”
This time there was a collective gasp and also some cheers that made Kris blush and the corners of his mouth turn up just slightly.
“But I was scared, too scared, of coming out. I wanted to be liked for who I wasn’t, instead of being hated for who I actually am. So tonight, I’m going to tell the truth and the truth is… I can’t say sorry enough times to make up for what I’ve done. I can’t take back what I’ve said. All I can really do is play this song and hope Adam knows what I’m trying to say. So… this one’s for him.” Then Kris began to play.
“I always played you songs to say what I never could. Other people say it better, say it better than I would. But for every word left unsaid, I thought you understood. It was easier to kiss you than to tell you how I feel. Oh and I don’t want to lose you, but you can’t see that through your tears. You’re saying that I hurt you, but I had no idea…
“I’m doing my best to make it, but you don’t believe, believe that I am. Just ‘cause you say it’s so, doesn’t make it so. Singing I don’t show what I’m feeling for you. I’d rather shut my mouth than to spell it out. There’s no doubt when it’s written all over my face.
“What you want me to say that I don’t say? What you want when it’s written all over my face? If you want we can talk about it all day. But what’s to say when it’s written all over my face?”
Kris turned to look at the stage wings and saw Adam still standing there, but he wasn’t close enough to make out what his expression was. So he just kept singing his heart out, hoping that Adam understood.
“There’s nothing wrong but communication. It’s just a problem of our own creation. Sometimes love gets lost in translation. What you want me to say that I don’t say? What you want when it’s written all over my face? If you want we could talk about it all day. But what’s to say when it’s written all over my face? All over my face, all over my face. When it’s written all over my face, all over my face.
“There’s nothing wrong but communication. It’s just a problem of our own creation. Sometimes love gets lost in translation…”
Kris thanked the audience and walked off stage, but Adam was nowhere to be seen.
****
Chapter Nine // Chapter Eleven...