a little help with my paper

[thinkingthat]

Hi guys, I got an extension for my finals due to some medical emergencies, and now I have turn them in this week. I just finished a paper, and since my school's library and writing center is not open, I was wondering if anyone were nice enough to read my essay and give me feedback/help me with grammar and errors.

My teacher didnt give me much of a

Comments

[lady_ravenlocke]

Overall, I feel this is a very strong paper. Not to mention an interesting subject. It looks like you missed a paragraph break near the end, but that may have been LJ's formatting. Your comma use is good, and it looks like your grammar is good, too. One thing I remember from "back in the day" when I wrote essays is that you should try not to start a sentence with "and" or "but" and the like. I saw a few sentences that were started this way, and while it's by no means really bad, I think it would strengthen your paper just a little. (Please feel free to ignore me on this one, since it's a matter of style preference.) Also, one comma-usage thing:

The show not only appeals to the Hispanic community but to any child that speaks English,

There should be a comma after the word "community."

Anyway, hope this helps you some, and thanks for sharing the essay!