Comments | writerfiend: A short story I want people to read

writerfiend

A short story I want people to read

Dec 31, 2004 21:59

I created this account so that i could have somewhere to post my short story i wrote, and recieve comments on it. This story just popped into my head and someone once said "If you have an opportunity to express yourself artistically, you'd better do it." Let me know what you think. And if anyone truly thinks its good, i have an idea for a ( Read more... )

Comments 4

Wah! elsaboots January 2 2005, 17:08:00 UTC

*jumps up and down* Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
More more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more!

Re: Wah! writerfiend January 2 2005, 19:28:58 UTC

You really like it that much?!?! ( I'll start on the next bit when i have time. )

Lalala.... echosoul January 23 2005, 18:02:59 UTC

$300 million!? Good Lord, Jeremy, you're worth a lot of money!

*nods head thoughtfully* Very nice... kept me interested. i think my only "constructive criticizm" would be to add in more of the senses... as it is, i don't know much other than what happened. For example, i could assume that:
1. It's late in the evening, and the dark shadows are starting to streach as a small young boy walks down the street. The sun's blistering summer heat is cooling down. Blah blah blah...

2. It's early afternoon, and there's an unruly autumn wind that blusters leaves about and ruffles Jeremy's short blonde hair as he walks down the deserted street.

eh, i dunno. That's all i could think of.

But me likes! Tiel especially... you've really got me wondering about him... Nice writing!

Re: Lalala.... writerfiend January 23 2005, 19:23:45 UTC

*Bows* Thanx, maybe I'll release a second edition of that one.