The Music Brings Us Together (10/?)
Title: The Music Brings Us Together
Chapter: 10/?
Pairing: Adam/Kris
Rating: R (For later chapters)
Summary: The behind-the-scenes story that we never saw, as I imagine it, anyways.
Beta: Adamgrrrl
Disclamer: Unfortunately, I do not own Kris, Adam, or anyone else in this story. Nor do I own any of the songs, or anything recognizable from American Idol or Ford. I barely own the plotline, as its based on the show. Adam and Kris belong completely to themselves, and each other.
The Incident. That was how Kris thought of it in his head, with caps, though aloud he referred to it not at all. It was a c ouple of days after The Incident, and by some mutual agreement, he and Adam never spoke of it. Kris had been avoiding Adam, staying in the red room and playing his guitar instead of sitting in their room, even though he enjoyed the privacy there. It was the privacy alone with Adam that he wanted to get away from. He avoided the situation with Adam altogether; whenever he thought Adam might try to bring it up, he always made an excuse to leave. He expected Adam to try and stop him. He didn't.
It was Saturday, and Kris was sitting in the red room, strumming his guitar on auto-pilot, not paying attention to the chords or noticing if he hit a wrong note. These rare moments when everyone else was outside were the moments he allowed himself to think about The Incident. Or rather, his subconscious made the fact known against his will and better judgement. He still wasn't sure what exactly happened himself, so could anyone blame him for not wanting to talk about it with Adam? How was he supposed to explain something aloud that didn't even make sense in his head? A moment of poor judgement might suffice as an excuse.
Kris set his guitar down on the couch beside him and shifted slightly. What did he need an excuse for? He hadn't really done anything wrong, had he? He hadn't kissed Adam back. Granted, he di dn't push him away either, but it was a moment of shock, right? Ok, so it wasn't as though he'd hated it, but hell, he was married! Adam had no right to just kiss him out of the blue like that. So if anyone needed to give an explanation, it was Adam. Kris cringed slightly at the thought. Adam had always been plainly and bluntly honest with him. Did he really want to hear Adam's reasoning? Glancing up, Kris noted the familiar dark head of hair through the nearest window. No, no, he definitely did not want to hear Adam's reasoning. As if his mind wasn't messed up enough. But it shouldn't be messed up...right? He was completely in the clear. He hadn't done a single thing wrong. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
No sooner had he come to this decision than his cell vibrated against his leg. Pulling it from his pocket, he winced slightly as the name 'Katy' flashed across the screen. He paused for one uncomfortable moment before closing the phone unanswered and shoving it hastily back in his pocket, letting it go to voicemail. She would leave a message, and he would just say he'd been rehearsing and couldn't answer the call. He wouldn't tell her what was bothering him, and he would, once again, avoid her questions about why he seemed so out of it the last couple of days. Kris allowed a grim smile to quickly flash upon his lips as he considered the fact that she had started asking him why he seemed so distant barely an hour after The Incident occurred.
"Simon doesn't have a clue what he's talking about!" Alison's laughing voice could be heard from the sliding glass doors down the hallway. Kris quickly picked up his guitar and pretended to be pouring over the list of songs for the next week's show. He felt his eye twitch when Adam's laughter joined Alison's. Shaking himself mentally, Kris chose one of the songs at random and strummed a few chords.
"Well, he was kind of right," Adam's voice grew louder as the two came closer, and Kris found it harder to concentrate on his song. "I mean, it was country week. And the way I did it, well, wasn't really country."
Their laughter became so loud that the sound was pounding angrily in Kris' ears. Or maybe that was his heartbeat? Kris didn't have time to consider the matter before the two appeared around the corner. His eyes flew involuntarily to Adam, who smiled back at him with the usual sparkle in his eyes that made it seem like he was up to something he shouldn't be. Which, Kris considered, he probably was. "Hey, guys," Kris said, attempting a smile, though he wasn't sure he completely succeeded.
"Will you tell him how great his performance was on Tuesday?" Alison demanded, flopping into the chair across from Kris. Adam, of course, just had to sit on the couch beside Kris.
Kris ignored this and glanced from Alison to Adam. "Your performance on Tuesday was great," he said in a monotone, a tiny joking spark flashing in his eyes. As strange as he still felt around Adam, he decided thta it was safe enough to joke around with him as long as Alison was there to laugh with them.
"Gee, thanks," Adam laughed, rolling his eyes, "now I feel so much better."
Alison shook her head and leaned back, apparently thinking hard about something. "You know, I'm actually kind of surprised you didn't get voted off Wednesday," she said, almost wistfully.
"Um, thank you?" Adam said with a laugh. Kris stared at her incredulously. "I thought you said it was brilliant."
"It was," Alison said, looking at him as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Adam raised his eyebrows and she continued. "But seriously, the way you were singing, and staring at the camera, every girl that would have voted for you, and probably alot of guys, too, probably passed out cold. Just be glad they came to in time to vote," she finished cheerfully.
Kris joined in when Alison and Adam erupted into a fresh bout of laughter, though his laughter was more from relief than mirth. He thought he'd been the only one to notice the sizzling hot glare of Adam's eyes that night. He had, of course, written it off to the fact that he was more on edge and alert around Adam since The Incident.
Adam was still laughing after Alison and Kris' had died down, and Kris just watched him with an amused smile. He chuckled slightly when tears actually started forming in the corners of Adam's eyes. Without thinking much, he reached over and dabbed away the tear in one of his eyes. Adam sobered immediatly, just smiling slightly. "What?" Adam asked innocently as Kris pulled his hand back.
"You keep laughing like that, you'll smudge your make-up," he quoted the line he usually spoke to Katy, then froze for a moment. He shook his head and chuckled to himself.
"What's so funny?" Adam asked in mock indignation.
"I never thought I'd actually have to say that to another guy," Kris admitted, still chuckling under his breath.
"When will you ever learn, Kris?" Adam asked, shaking his head with a smile, "I'm the exception to every rule."
Kris just forced a laugh, not voicing the thoughts running through his head. Alison laughed and stood up. **"You guys," she slowly drawled, rolling her eyes, "I'm going to get a drink," she added after a moment. "You want somethin'?"
"Bring me a diet coke?" Adam asked, and Kris noted silently that the blue eyes didn't shift away from his own for a moment.
"Same," Kris requested, tearing his gaze from Adam to smile at Alison. He didn't usually drink diet drinks, but the producers, or whoever had decided on the kitchen stock, were very health conscious. Dark chocolate was the only chocolate in the kitchen, which Kris only found out one day when Adam came into the room complaining about it and saying that he was going to sneak in some other kinds. He never had, but Kris was sure he hadn't skimped on the chocolate when he'd left the mansion. Not that they could really do that too much lately without handlers or someone with them, but still.
"Sure," Ali said, skipping down the hall towards the kitchen.
When Adam still didn't look away from him, Kris cleared his throat awkwardly and shifted through the papers in front of him, pulling out the sheet music to one of the songs; he wasn't even sure which one, but he started strumming the first few lines of it just for something to do.
"That sounds good," Adam commented, and Kris glanced sideways at him, relieved to see Adam looking down at the paper. "Good song," he added nodding. Adam looked back up at him and smiled gently. "You should do that song on Tuesday." He seemed to think for a moment, his eyes dropping to the guitar, then meeting Kris' gaze again. "And play the guitar. It'd be really cool."
Kris licked his lips and looked back at the song to see what it was, then allowed a small smile to reach his lips as he looked back up at Adam. "I might," he muttered. He glanced up as Alison came back in with their drinks. "Thanks," he said quietly, taking one of the sodas from her.
"Thanks," Adam said with a smile, taking his and standing up. "I'm going back outside," he said, then glanced sideways at Kris. "You should come out too. Or you gonna stay in all day like a hermit?" he asked teasingly.
"I'll be out in a minute," Kris said, waving them off. Kris waited until they left, then leaned forward to circle the song on the paper, 'How Sweet It Is (To be Loved by You.)'
~*~
Friday came, Kris' song having gone over wonderfully with the judges and apparently the rest of America, too. Adam was nowhere to be found when Kris got out of the shower. Kris thought back carefully, not remembering him saying that he was going anywhere, but shrugged it off. Not like Adam didn't have permission to have a life of his own or anything. He didn't really have to tell kris where he was going, even though he usually did. It didn't matter.
Resolute on this fact, Kris spent the next hour on his bed, pouring over the list of songs as he always did, occasionally checking his watch even though he knew they didn't have to meet for the photo shoot until that evening. He finally looked up from the blindingly white paper, his eyes taking a moment to adjust, when he heard the door open, the sound accompanied by Adam's groan as he flopped onto his bed.
"What's up?" Kris asked, laying his guitar down on the bed and glancing over at Adam, who was glaring at the ceiling.
"I don't have a clue what to do," Adam admitted after a moment.
"Well, you'll have to give me something more than that to go off of, if you actually want me to help," Kris said.
Adam glanced sideways at him. "The producers wanted to talk to me about the pictures on the internet."
"The ones you showed me last week?" Kris asked, his eyebrows coming together in confusion. "Why would they wait so long to ask you about those?"
"They said they needed time to talk it over or something," Adam said with a sigh. He sat up and ran a hand over his face.
Kris' eyes widened, and something curiously like panic skittered down his spine. "They didn't get mad, did they?" he asked urgently, "What? Are they going to try and kick you off the show or something? Cause they really can't just-"
"Kris!" Adam cut him off with a wave of his hand, a smile finally reaching his lips. He laughed and shook his head. "No, no, they aren't going to kick me out or anything. They didn't even tell me to keep it a secret, either."
"Seriously?" Kris asked with a shaky smile and a whoosh of sighed relief. Then he frowned slightly. "Wait, then what's the problem?"
Adam sighed and laid back on his bed again. "They said I can officially 'come out' to the media whenever I want. But I don't know if I want to now, during the show. But I'm not going to try and hide it either."
"Well," Kris said slowly, "maybe you don't have to just come right out and say it, but you don't have to hide it. Just be you as usual, but beat around the bush whenever some reporter or anyone asks you about it directly." Kris thought for a moment, then added, "Well, I guess if you came out, you'd probably lose alot of votes, but then you'd probably gain some too. Sort of a fifty-fifty chance, I guess."
"But that's the problem," Adam said, sitting up again to look at Kris.
"What, losing the votes?" Kris asked, slightly confused as to what Adam was trying to point out to him.
"Not just that," Adam said, "but, votes in general. This show is supposed to be about the music, Kris! It shouldn't be about gay or straight, Christian or not. This is American Idol, not the damn presidential campaign!!"
Kris laughed, but turned it into an awkward cough when Adam glared at him. He bit his lip and raised his eyebrows at Adam, smiling in relief when Adam started laughing with him. "This show is so much more trouble than it's worth," Kris pointed out, shaking his head.
"Yeah, sometimes it is," Adam agreed, gazing at Kris as he slowly regained his footing.
"Whatcha doin'?" Kris asked as Adam walked closer to him, finding that he wasn't as scared or nervous as he probably should be. He knew it was coming before Adam leaned towards him.
"Nothing," Adam breathed quietly, just before Kris felt the older man's lips on his. Unlike before, there was no shock value this time, and Kris allowed his eyes to flutter shut instead of popping open in surprise. He still didn't kiss Adam back, but he gave himself a moment to think, if nothing else. This kiss felt longer than the first. Kris wasn't sure if the actual time was longer or not, but with the first kiss, Kris was pretty sure he'd frozen in a sin gle moment, and nothing changed in that moment until Adam pulled away. That wasn't the case now. Kris could feel Adam's lips moving against his, and he could smell the intoxicating scent of Adam's skin, makeup, cologne. Everything that made Adam, well, Adam.
But...this wasn't really wrong, was it? He wasn't doing anything wrong. And this, this kiss. It was so much different from when Katy kissed him. So it couldn't be wrong, if the feelings weren't the same, right? When Katy kissed him, he felt like everything was speeding up. Everything was louder, brighter, more in his face. When Adam kissed him, it was the complete opposite. Everything crashed into slow motion, almost fading away into oblivion, and he was pretty sure he wouldn't hear a freight train if it was right outside their window. So it wasn't the same. He didn't feel the same as he did with Katy, so that made it ok, right? Well, maybe not. It wasn't really right, but it wasn't quite wrong, either. Maybe it was just...harmless.