Comments | writers_guild: Crack.

iwillbelive in writers_guild

Crack.

Jan 14, 2013 18:33

Hi,
Anyone mind taking a look at this?
Is it any good? Does it make sense?
It's called 'Crack' and that is about all I can say about it...

Word count: 348
Title: Crack
Genre: Doesn't really have one. Psychedelic more than anything.
Warnings/Rating:PG - I think.Crack. The sound of bones snapping. Roaring through her ears like wind on a dark night ( Read more... )

Comments 2

pyeatt21 January 31 2013, 09:28:02 UTC

This seems to be a good start, if a bit rough. I suggest writing some more and after you progress a bit (and have a clear idea of what you want to do with the story) come back to it and flesh it out a bit more. I've found that vague writing can be a great hook for writing but it is a fine line. If you are too vague you lose the interest of your audience. I'm definitely interested to read more!

johannadek May 5 2013, 00:31:14 UTC

The voice and syntax are amazing. However, variation in sentence length would help make this tiny part more coherent. I'd also recommend to watch on the usage of such long strings of adjectives. It becomes repetitive, and I found myself skipping some of them. However, there was so much imagery, and I'm curious to see more! I hope you do continue it.