Anybody here?
Mountain-dwellers
By Alexander Moschina
- Chapter One -
He liked to start off each day with a sigh. It helped him ease the pain that mornings caused him. Of course, for a man of 43, it seems strange to consider 4:18 in the afternoon, 'morning,' but for the purposes of his sanity, Cedric liked to imagine the sun perking up through the endless mountains that surrounded his small home, rather than pretty much the opposite.
He wasn't a businessman. In fact, he rather hated numbers, adding them up, subtracting them, complex division, and small black briefcases filled with crumbled yellow receipts and those key-chain calculators that lawyers give away to their clients at Christmas. He had no interest in becoming a star of any kind. The limelight seemed a bit too ‘citrusy’ for someone who would much rather spend their time waking up at 4:18 in the afternoon, eating a modest bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and once a week re-painting the garage. There was no real reason for this of course, but he always glowed with pride when he finished a coat of fireweed and was finally able to relax. He never seemed to realize that in a few days, he would be standing in his driveway, scratching his chin, wondering if he should have gone with taupe. The colors changed, but for the most part, the days did not.
So life was, and so things were. Cedric would wake up late, make his pilgrimage to the ancient hardware store, and purchase a 5 gallon bucket of latex paint. He'd chat with Roy, his only real contact to humankind, then he'd head back up the hill, with all the intention of unleashing a barrage of color on his unsuspecting garage. Cedric knew little about things outside of his overgrown backyard, which was another odd aspect of his life considering how much time he spent coloring the four walls surrounding his lawn mower and edger. In any case, things were simple. Yes they were. As far as Cedric was concerned, they could have stayed that way too, but an act of God would soon beg to differ.
Tidal waves are not typically an issue in northern Michigan. In fact, they are rarely an issue in any in-land state surrounded mostly by in-land lakes. However, on this Tuesday afternoon, Cedric was wondering why there is a dark, glassy figure looming over the small town at the base of the hill upon which he lives.
"Shit." is all he could seem to mutter, blankly staring down through the trees. Bewildered, he shoveled yet another spoon-full of cereal into his mouth, then trotted back to his small home. On the way in, he tripped on his front step, blaming his lack of concentration on a rather unpleasant racket coming from inside his living room.
The television was spewing some nonsense about a catastrophic emergency of some sort, but at the moment it simply annoyed Cedric. Rather than search for the button on the front of the set, he simply unplugged it, then walked into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. The figure at the base of the hill was now covering the remains of a rather old hardware store.
Cedric often thought of painting his garage several different colors; one for each side. He fancied the idea, mostly imagining that it would be something ‘unusual,’ but he knew that it might also break up the pleasant monotony of his days. This was something he was not prepared for, and it of course, went along with his other point: that paint is far too expensive for any of this multicolor nonsense.
The bedroom door came roaring open, and Cedric stepped out wearing his ‘painting’ overalls and his blue ‘yoopers’ hat (i.e. his ‘painting’ hat). He listened closely to the low hum that seemed to be coming from his windows, which also seem to be vibrating, and made sure that the sound is quiet enough for him to ignore. As he had suspected, it was. He lifted the large bucket of taupe paint, tucked the handle of his paintbrush into his pocket, and reached for his roller. Of course, before he could grab the poly-grip plastic handle, large quantities of murky water had begun to seep through his windows and seemed to prompt a single question in his mind: How the hell am I supposed to paint a wet garage? Though his query was quite reasonable, from a painter‘s perspective, it seemed more important at that point in time that the window panes finally shatter, and Cedric, along with his kitchen table, were pushed against the rear wall of his humble abode, under the immense pressure of thousands of gallons of water.
Now, most find it to be quite distressing when nature decides to stop mucking about, and actually does something with very real and very immediate consequences. For instance, the great fire of Qunam-jimb. It so happened that a small, ape-like creature (who at that time, called himself “Ted”) was the real pioneer of the fire industry. Before any one or any thing could rub two sticks together, Ted had already mastered both fire AND the wheel. Through a simple process involving only a crudely-made container full of water and the presence of sunlight, he had discovered a way to cook meat, as well as keep warm. This invention, that would later be called “fire,” came very much in handy for Ted and his family. It proved to be very effective, until one day when a freak wind blew some burning ash into a nearby tree. In a very short period of time, the forest erupted in a large, burning mass of Ted’s creation, and Ted himself became nothing more than a small, ape-like piece of kindling. From this incident however, many saw the benefits of fire, as well as the importance of fire safety. Ted had once again outdone himself. He had invented the advertisement.
None of this, of course, matters much to Cedric right now, as he is very quickly running out of air.
Alright… so, I’m going to die? That’s just great. And of course it has to be on a Tuesday…
He began to rummage around through the piles of painting supplies submerged beside him.
My six-in-one… no… roller… hmmm… man, I am soaked.
Finally he found a small putty knife. He had never actually unwrapped it, but he’d had it for quite some time. Using the rounded edge like a wedge, he pried a table leg from the wall, and pushed another with all of his might. He managed to pull himself out of the mangled mess of furniture and waded toward a window, periodically falling subject to the immense current that was quite content to whip his body around like a boneless chicken in a tornado. Cedric had of course never seen this occur, but paused for a moment to chuckle to himself about the image that it presented. As he snorted, he reached for the nearest window and noticed something spectacular going on outside his home.
- Chapter two -
Sandy and Ryan were born in a rather odd way. Of course, they used the conventional routes and standard exits from their mother’s womb, but it was the course of events that prompted this birth that seemed quite strange, not only to their extremely surprised mother, but also to an entire planet full of very confused creatures. It was a lovely night and there seemed to be rather pleasant temperatures everywhere. In the south, it was unseasonably cool, and in the north, it seemed a bit warmer than usual. Everyone was quite pleased with how things were going, weather-wise, and nobody seemed to realize that this was all very, very wrong, and that the cause of it all was simply that God had nodded off. Of course, many of Earth’s tenants did not, would not, or simply could not believe in such an absurd explanation, and chose to blame it on something other than an act of ‘you-know-who.’ In any case, mankind had to dip a bit further into their collective change-jar of excuses to explain the following:
1. A sudden appearance of storm clouds EVERYWHERE.
2. A large swarm of mosquito’s coming into existence (as well as expiring soon thereafter) in north-eastern Alaska.
3. Two children (a boy and a girl) born to a mother who showed absolutely no sign of pregnancy.
4. A dog in Guam who rescued a rather elderly woman from an old church that had caught on fire. (the line was blurry between what were considered miracles and the other odd occurrences that resulted from God’s nap. It was assumed that if God were asleep, there would be no miracles, therefore the incident involving the dog must have simply been the fourth and final odd event of the evening.)
All the occurrences were given explanations, with the exception of the storm clouds. In regards to that bit of nonsense, Meteorologists had chosen to take the following attitude:
Concerned citizen: “But what about all the storm clouds?”
Meteorologist: “What storm clouds?”
Concerned citizen: “The ones that covered the entire world last night. What about them?”
Meteorologist: “How do you know they were EVERYWHERE in the world? Were you EVERYWHERE last night?”
Concerned citizen: “Well, no, of course not… but…”
Meteorologist: “Well, I can tell you with a very high amount of certainty,” at this point, they would cross their fingers, “that those pesky storm clouds were NOT everywhere in the world.”
Concerned citizen: “Why are your fingers crossed?”
Meteorologist: “How do you know that ALL my fingers are crossed?”
And so it went on. Eventually the phenomenon was forgotten by the masses. Well, by all except a young girl named Sandy, and a boy named Ryan, and when they noticed a large wall of water engulfing their town, they simply shrugged and looked at each other, knowing that it was almost time.
“You know, I just knew this was going to happen today, I just knew it.” stated a rather calm Sandy.
“Well, how do you know this isn’t a coincidence? Perhaps, there really should be a tidal wave heading for our yard right now.” Ryan replied.
“Ummm… no, I really don’t think so. Something here seems a bit off.”
“Maybe. So, should we run?”
Sandy just kept staring out the window.
“Hey, do you think we should run?” Ryan repeated.
No response from Sandy.
“You know, it is getting pretty close…” Ryan continued, “I was thinking that maybe we should run…”
Sandy turned her head slightly, putting her hand beneath her jaw, then leaned back on the window sill. Ryan was about to speak again, when Sandy finally opened her mouth.
“I don’t really feel like running.”
Ryan stood for a moment, contemplating her statement. For one, it was a reasonable point. As he thought about it, he realized that he didn’t really want to get all sweaty and run about either, but then he became a bit upset when he noticed the wave was now plucking trees from the ground, just a hundred yards from their home. Ryan decided he would like to panic now.
“You don’t feel like running? What’s your plan then? Because, I don’t really feel like drowning!” he yelled frantically, pausing afterward to gain his composure.
Sandy was un-amused. The two stood in their small home, staring out the window. Outside, the wave began to tear apart their tiny collection of lawn gnomes.
“Fine, I guess we can run.”
The two leapt over their furniture and through their living room, then the kitchen, and finally out the back door. As they neared the edge of their yard, they noticed something that, even by today’s standards, was quite astonishing.
- Chapter 3 -
Cedric slipped out of his window with ease and watched as the water leveled off around his home. He felt the current tugging at his limbs, but held tightly to the window pane. Along the horizon, he could see that water had covered the valley below his home, and only a few trees could be seen below the surface. The wall of water continued in the distance, leaving visible only the very tips of the mountains that were scattered throughout the area. Cedric sighed.
Terrific.
He then peered into his home, which he noticed was very rapidly filling with local wildlife. An otter came waddling out of the water and rested upon the remains of a kitchen counter. It began to shake the wetness from its fur, when it noticed Cedric’s presence. It paused for a moment, nodded, then went back to work on itself. Cedric was unimpressed. It wasn’t until the creature spoke, that Cedric provided his full attention.
“Hey man, ummm, you know where I can find a dry towel?”
Cedric’s eyes widened.
“T-O-W-E-L… you know, for drying things? My fur, for instance?”
Cedric tried to speak, but the words twisted in his mouth, so that he was only able to offer single-syllable responses.
“Wet.” he finally stated.
The animal stared for a moment, then replied, “Yes. I am wet. Do you have a TOWEL?”
“No.”
“Okay then.”
As the two stared at each other, they heard a woman’s scream in the distance. Cedric turned to see, but the small rodent advised him not to worry about it.
“It’s a wall of water man, you’re gonna hear some screaming.” the creature paused, “Do you have anything to drink?”
Cedric thought about the first half of the statement, then once again focused his attention on the talking animal that was now rummaging through his cabinets.
“Hey, while you’re standing there, could you maybe reach around for a cup, or something?”
Again, Cedric considered the situation, eventually plunging his hand into the water and, to his surprise, immediately withdrawing a small, blue mug. He looked at it for a moment, then handed it to the otter.
“Thanks.”
“Welcome.” he muttered.
“I’m Ted, by the way.”
The woman screamed again.
“You know, these people,” Ted continued, “they just don’t seem to grasp the situation. I mean, think about it, is screaming going to help the situation here? It’s not like you’re gonna startle the tidal wave. I mean, come on now... theoretically, should you even be reacting at all?”
This was indeed a good point. Cedric thoroughly agreed, but failed to vocalize his approval, due to the fact that a large fish had recently taken a bite of his leg.
“Ow!” he shouted.
“What’s the matter with you?” Ted queried, “You getting bit by the fishies?”
Cedric could only make a mildly impolite face, as he was still wondering what etiquette you use when conversing with a woodland animal. He decided to keep up his end of the conversation, at least to the best of his ability.
“A barracuda just bit my leg.” he stated.
“Ah, it speaks.” Ted mused, “You might want to get in here.”
Cedric started to pull his body back through the window, then paused and asked, “Why?”
“Well, there’s plenty of bigger fishes out there right now, and I think you ought to continue doing what you seem to be good at, and survive… where’s the sugar?”
It seemed that he had discovered some kool-aid mix.
“Bottom drawer.”
“Merci.”
As he slipped back into the house, Cedric felt something slide against his leg. He balanced the severity of the situation against the amount of sense any of this seemed to be making, then ignored whatever was swimming around him. He cleared his throat, attempting to get Ted’s attention, but to no avail. He eventually just began to speak.
“Um, Ted, I was just thinking-”
“No, the world isn’t ending. Well, not at this very moment.”
Cedric was again astonished.
“You read minds?”
“No, you’re just predictable.”
Cedric’s astonishment diminished.
“Why can you talk?”
The otter sighed, then took a break from swirling around the tropical punch mix.
“This is as good a time as any to explain this to you,” he began, “see that water?”
It was unfortunate that at this moment, a tentacle that had begun to grip Cedric’s leg became a much bigger nuisance than originally thought…
- Chapter 4 -
They had grown up fully-expecting odd things to occur in their lives, yet Ryan found himself a bit overwhelmed as he climbed quickly up the hill behind his home. He followed Sandy closely, occasionally taking rather sharp kicks to his hands and knees.
“It’s getting close!” he shouted.
Sandy kept running.
Ryan looked over his shoulder, noticing a rather large lake seemed to be following them. He turned his head back, then ran directly into Sandy. She stumbled a bit, then began to press herself against the large wall of rock that now stood before them. Ryan climbed to his feet, let out a small shriek, then threw himself against the mound, beside her.
“This might hurt.” Sandy said.
“Yeah, it-” was all that Ryan managed, before being completely engulfed by unseasonably warm water. A rather large fish glanced at the pair, but continued following the current north. It seemed to wink at Ryan, just before gliding out of sight.
Sandy reached up and, to her surprise, her fingertips could feel air. She felt along the wall and found several small indentations in the rock. Gripping her brother’s collar tightly with her right hand, she used her left hand to pull herself upward, over the stones. As their heads peaked out over the surface, Ryan could swear he saw a man being pulled from his home by a rather curious-looking squid…
- Chapter 5 -
Cedric once had a goldfish named Julius. It was much more aggressive than the average Carassius Auratus, but Cedric found it’s floundering to be a good source of entertainment. Many times, he would find himself staring into the fishbowl, watching Julius glide through the water for rather long periods of time. It was not particularly interesting, but then again, it wasn’t particularly boring either. There was something provocative about the 8-gallon universe, and its single inhabitant. Would Julius swim clockwise around the castle today, or would he do the opposite? Would swim around the castle at all? Would he take small bites at Cedric’s finger when the tiny fish flakes are delivered to the surface? In any case, there was so much uncertainty in this tiny world, and Cedric was impressed by the possibilities presented by just that. A severe sense of irony had begun to grip him tightly, along with an 8 foot-long, pink tentacle.
“Don’t struggle!” shouted Ted.
Cedric had given up struggling quite a while before this recent word of advice, but attempted to go completely limp, with minimal success. The creature had been attempting to pull him out of the house, but the window frame was far too small, and his body could only fit through if placed into certain configurations. However, now that it was so flexible, there would be no trouble on the squid’s end. Seeing that the plan was not going ahead exactly as planned, Ted offered some new advice.
“Struggle! Hit his… ummm… pull on those little sucker things!”
Ted watched as Cedric was slammed against the ceiling of what, until recently, was his living room.
“Wow, that looked like it hurt. You alright, buddy?”
Cedric mumbled something about needing help, and was promptly pulled through the window.
“Hell’s bells.”
Ted dove into the water, his tail twisting and spiraling like a corkscrew. He dove over the window ledge, then down after his sinking compadre.
Deep beneath the surface, Cedric began to think about everything he had accomplished in the past few years. Particularly, he focused on his garage. Many times, he thought, the colors he picked were rather plain. Boring. He didn’t question his choices, in fact, he was rather pleased with them. Boring was a very pleasant portion of Cedric’s life, up until a half-hour ago. If this were the previous week, he would be climbing into bed for a nap. Instead, he found himself being followed by a talking otter, while in the clutches of a large mollusk. He yearned for simplicity… and air. He opened his eyes wide, feeling the water wash over his pupils. He could see Ted, just a few feet away, catching up rather fast. Cedric reached out, with minimal expectations for rescue.
Ted placed his tiny arms to his side, and kicked his legs hard. He managed to reach Cedric, but continued swimming.
Cedric’s vision was becoming very dark. He watched as the otter’s tail flew past his head, and then felt a sudden jerk, as the squid came to a complete stop. He felt the tentacle’s grip loosen, then his body began to slowly float to the surface. The sun was reflecting off the surface of the water, roughly 100 feet above his head and as he apathetically waved his arms, he began to feel rather weak. Everything went black, and Cedric slipped into a deep slumber.
- Chapter 6 -
People do not expect the unexpected. More so, people do not expect the unexpected expecting the unexpected, which is exactly why Ryan was staring in disbelief as he watched a small otter give CPR to a rather large, half-dead painter. He leaned over toward Sandy, who was looking rather unamused.
“Is this the kind of thing we should be expecting?”
She shrugged.
Moments prior to this, the two had found themselves gasping for air, atop a small patch of land that jutted out of the water. They were observing their surroundings, when a man floated to the surface. Moments later, an otter emerged beside him, and guided the man’s body to Sandy and Ryan’s island. Ryan had begun to offer assistance, but quickly stepped back when the otter began shouting profanities at the dead body.
“Wake up, you bastard! I know damn well you’re not dead!”
The creature pounded its tiny hands against the man’s chest.
“I said, wake up! Son of a bitch!”
The children were dumbfounded.
“Son of a bitch, bastard!”
Sandy stepped forward and opened her mouth to speak.
“You’re in for a world of pain,” the animal continued, “if you don’t wake up in the next five seconds!”
The young girl took a few steps back, looked at her brother, and raised her eyebrow.
“I don’t know.” she mouthed.
By Alexander Moschina
- Chapter One -
He liked to start off each day with a sigh. It helped him ease the pain that mornings caused him. Of course, for a man of 43, it seems strange to consider 4:18 in the afternoon, 'morning,' but for the purposes of his sanity, Cedric liked to imagine the sun perking up through the endless mountains that surrounded his small home, rather than pretty much the opposite.
He wasn't a businessman. In fact, he rather hated numbers, adding them up, subtracting them, complex division, and small black briefcases filled with crumbled yellow receipts and those key-chain calculators that lawyers give away to their clients at Christmas. He had no interest in becoming a star of any kind. The limelight seemed a bit too ‘citrusy’ for someone who would much rather spend their time waking up at 4:18 in the afternoon, eating a modest bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and once a week re-painting the garage. There was no real reason for this of course, but he always glowed with pride when he finished a coat of fireweed and was finally able to relax. He never seemed to realize that in a few days, he would be standing in his driveway, scratching his chin, wondering if he should have gone with taupe. The colors changed, but for the most part, the days did not.
So life was, and so things were. Cedric would wake up late, make his pilgrimage to the ancient hardware store, and purchase a 5 gallon bucket of latex paint. He'd chat with Roy, his only real contact to humankind, then he'd head back up the hill, with all the intention of unleashing a barrage of color on his unsuspecting garage. Cedric knew little about things outside of his overgrown backyard, which was another odd aspect of his life considering how much time he spent coloring the four walls surrounding his lawn mower and edger. In any case, things were simple. Yes they were. As far as Cedric was concerned, they could have stayed that way too, but an act of God would soon beg to differ.
Tidal waves are not typically an issue in northern Michigan. In fact, they are rarely an issue in any in-land state surrounded mostly by in-land lakes. However, on this Tuesday afternoon, Cedric was wondering why there is a dark, glassy figure looming over the small town at the base of the hill upon which he lives.
"Shit." is all he could seem to mutter, blankly staring down through the trees. Bewildered, he shoveled yet another spoon-full of cereal into his mouth, then trotted back to his small home. On the way in, he tripped on his front step, blaming his lack of concentration on a rather unpleasant racket coming from inside his living room.
The television was spewing some nonsense about a catastrophic emergency of some sort, but at the moment it simply annoyed Cedric. Rather than search for the button on the front of the set, he simply unplugged it, then walked into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. The figure at the base of the hill was now covering the remains of a rather old hardware store.
Cedric often thought of painting his garage several different colors; one for each side. He fancied the idea, mostly imagining that it would be something ‘unusual,’ but he knew that it might also break up the pleasant monotony of his days. This was something he was not prepared for, and it of course, went along with his other point: that paint is far too expensive for any of this multicolor nonsense.
The bedroom door came roaring open, and Cedric stepped out wearing his ‘painting’ overalls and his blue ‘yoopers’ hat (i.e. his ‘painting’ hat). He listened closely to the low hum that seemed to be coming from his windows, which also seem to be vibrating, and made sure that the sound is quiet enough for him to ignore. As he had suspected, it was. He lifted the large bucket of taupe paint, tucked the handle of his paintbrush into his pocket, and reached for his roller. Of course, before he could grab the poly-grip plastic handle, large quantities of murky water had begun to seep through his windows and seemed to prompt a single question in his mind: How the hell am I supposed to paint a wet garage? Though his query was quite reasonable, from a painter‘s perspective, it seemed more important at that point in time that the window panes finally shatter, and Cedric, along with his kitchen table, were pushed against the rear wall of his humble abode, under the immense pressure of thousands of gallons of water.
Now, most find it to be quite distressing when nature decides to stop mucking about, and actually does something with very real and very immediate consequences. For instance, the great fire of Qunam-jimb. It so happened that a small, ape-like creature (who at that time, called himself “Ted”) was the real pioneer of the fire industry. Before any one or any thing could rub two sticks together, Ted had already mastered both fire AND the wheel. Through a simple process involving only a crudely-made container full of water and the presence of sunlight, he had discovered a way to cook meat, as well as keep warm. This invention, that would later be called “fire,” came very much in handy for Ted and his family. It proved to be very effective, until one day when a freak wind blew some burning ash into a nearby tree. In a very short period of time, the forest erupted in a large, burning mass of Ted’s creation, and Ted himself became nothing more than a small, ape-like piece of kindling. From this incident however, many saw the benefits of fire, as well as the importance of fire safety. Ted had once again outdone himself. He had invented the advertisement.
None of this, of course, matters much to Cedric right now, as he is very quickly running out of air.
Alright… so, I’m going to die? That’s just great. And of course it has to be on a Tuesday…
He began to rummage around through the piles of painting supplies submerged beside him.
My six-in-one… no… roller… hmmm… man, I am soaked.
Finally he found a small putty knife. He had never actually unwrapped it, but he’d had it for quite some time. Using the rounded edge like a wedge, he pried a table leg from the wall, and pushed another with all of his might. He managed to pull himself out of the mangled mess of furniture and waded toward a window, periodically falling subject to the immense current that was quite content to whip his body around like a boneless chicken in a tornado. Cedric had of course never seen this occur, but paused for a moment to chuckle to himself about the image that it presented. As he snorted, he reached for the nearest window and noticed something spectacular going on outside his home.
- Chapter two -
Sandy and Ryan were born in a rather odd way. Of course, they used the conventional routes and standard exits from their mother’s womb, but it was the course of events that prompted this birth that seemed quite strange, not only to their extremely surprised mother, but also to an entire planet full of very confused creatures. It was a lovely night and there seemed to be rather pleasant temperatures everywhere. In the south, it was unseasonably cool, and in the north, it seemed a bit warmer than usual. Everyone was quite pleased with how things were going, weather-wise, and nobody seemed to realize that this was all very, very wrong, and that the cause of it all was simply that God had nodded off. Of course, many of Earth’s tenants did not, would not, or simply could not believe in such an absurd explanation, and chose to blame it on something other than an act of ‘you-know-who.’ In any case, mankind had to dip a bit further into their collective change-jar of excuses to explain the following:
1. A sudden appearance of storm clouds EVERYWHERE.
2. A large swarm of mosquito’s coming into existence (as well as expiring soon thereafter) in north-eastern Alaska.
3. Two children (a boy and a girl) born to a mother who showed absolutely no sign of pregnancy.
4. A dog in Guam who rescued a rather elderly woman from an old church that had caught on fire. (the line was blurry between what were considered miracles and the other odd occurrences that resulted from God’s nap. It was assumed that if God were asleep, there would be no miracles, therefore the incident involving the dog must have simply been the fourth and final odd event of the evening.)
All the occurrences were given explanations, with the exception of the storm clouds. In regards to that bit of nonsense, Meteorologists had chosen to take the following attitude:
Concerned citizen: “But what about all the storm clouds?”
Meteorologist: “What storm clouds?”
Concerned citizen: “The ones that covered the entire world last night. What about them?”
Meteorologist: “How do you know they were EVERYWHERE in the world? Were you EVERYWHERE last night?”
Concerned citizen: “Well, no, of course not… but…”
Meteorologist: “Well, I can tell you with a very high amount of certainty,” at this point, they would cross their fingers, “that those pesky storm clouds were NOT everywhere in the world.”
Concerned citizen: “Why are your fingers crossed?”
Meteorologist: “How do you know that ALL my fingers are crossed?”
And so it went on. Eventually the phenomenon was forgotten by the masses. Well, by all except a young girl named Sandy, and a boy named Ryan, and when they noticed a large wall of water engulfing their town, they simply shrugged and looked at each other, knowing that it was almost time.
“You know, I just knew this was going to happen today, I just knew it.” stated a rather calm Sandy.
“Well, how do you know this isn’t a coincidence? Perhaps, there really should be a tidal wave heading for our yard right now.” Ryan replied.
“Ummm… no, I really don’t think so. Something here seems a bit off.”
“Maybe. So, should we run?”
Sandy just kept staring out the window.
“Hey, do you think we should run?” Ryan repeated.
No response from Sandy.
“You know, it is getting pretty close…” Ryan continued, “I was thinking that maybe we should run…”
Sandy turned her head slightly, putting her hand beneath her jaw, then leaned back on the window sill. Ryan was about to speak again, when Sandy finally opened her mouth.
“I don’t really feel like running.”
Ryan stood for a moment, contemplating her statement. For one, it was a reasonable point. As he thought about it, he realized that he didn’t really want to get all sweaty and run about either, but then he became a bit upset when he noticed the wave was now plucking trees from the ground, just a hundred yards from their home. Ryan decided he would like to panic now.
“You don’t feel like running? What’s your plan then? Because, I don’t really feel like drowning!” he yelled frantically, pausing afterward to gain his composure.
Sandy was un-amused. The two stood in their small home, staring out the window. Outside, the wave began to tear apart their tiny collection of lawn gnomes.
“Fine, I guess we can run.”
The two leapt over their furniture and through their living room, then the kitchen, and finally out the back door. As they neared the edge of their yard, they noticed something that, even by today’s standards, was quite astonishing.
- Chapter 3 -
Cedric slipped out of his window with ease and watched as the water leveled off around his home. He felt the current tugging at his limbs, but held tightly to the window pane. Along the horizon, he could see that water had covered the valley below his home, and only a few trees could be seen below the surface. The wall of water continued in the distance, leaving visible only the very tips of the mountains that were scattered throughout the area. Cedric sighed.
Terrific.
He then peered into his home, which he noticed was very rapidly filling with local wildlife. An otter came waddling out of the water and rested upon the remains of a kitchen counter. It began to shake the wetness from its fur, when it noticed Cedric’s presence. It paused for a moment, nodded, then went back to work on itself. Cedric was unimpressed. It wasn’t until the creature spoke, that Cedric provided his full attention.
“Hey man, ummm, you know where I can find a dry towel?”
Cedric’s eyes widened.
“T-O-W-E-L… you know, for drying things? My fur, for instance?”
Cedric tried to speak, but the words twisted in his mouth, so that he was only able to offer single-syllable responses.
“Wet.” he finally stated.
The animal stared for a moment, then replied, “Yes. I am wet. Do you have a TOWEL?”
“No.”
“Okay then.”
As the two stared at each other, they heard a woman’s scream in the distance. Cedric turned to see, but the small rodent advised him not to worry about it.
“It’s a wall of water man, you’re gonna hear some screaming.” the creature paused, “Do you have anything to drink?”
Cedric thought about the first half of the statement, then once again focused his attention on the talking animal that was now rummaging through his cabinets.
“Hey, while you’re standing there, could you maybe reach around for a cup, or something?”
Again, Cedric considered the situation, eventually plunging his hand into the water and, to his surprise, immediately withdrawing a small, blue mug. He looked at it for a moment, then handed it to the otter.
“Thanks.”
“Welcome.” he muttered.
“I’m Ted, by the way.”
The woman screamed again.
“You know, these people,” Ted continued, “they just don’t seem to grasp the situation. I mean, think about it, is screaming going to help the situation here? It’s not like you’re gonna startle the tidal wave. I mean, come on now... theoretically, should you even be reacting at all?”
This was indeed a good point. Cedric thoroughly agreed, but failed to vocalize his approval, due to the fact that a large fish had recently taken a bite of his leg.
“Ow!” he shouted.
“What’s the matter with you?” Ted queried, “You getting bit by the fishies?”
Cedric could only make a mildly impolite face, as he was still wondering what etiquette you use when conversing with a woodland animal. He decided to keep up his end of the conversation, at least to the best of his ability.
“A barracuda just bit my leg.” he stated.
“Ah, it speaks.” Ted mused, “You might want to get in here.”
Cedric started to pull his body back through the window, then paused and asked, “Why?”
“Well, there’s plenty of bigger fishes out there right now, and I think you ought to continue doing what you seem to be good at, and survive… where’s the sugar?”
It seemed that he had discovered some kool-aid mix.
“Bottom drawer.”
“Merci.”
As he slipped back into the house, Cedric felt something slide against his leg. He balanced the severity of the situation against the amount of sense any of this seemed to be making, then ignored whatever was swimming around him. He cleared his throat, attempting to get Ted’s attention, but to no avail. He eventually just began to speak.
“Um, Ted, I was just thinking-”
“No, the world isn’t ending. Well, not at this very moment.”
Cedric was again astonished.
“You read minds?”
“No, you’re just predictable.”
Cedric’s astonishment diminished.
“Why can you talk?”
The otter sighed, then took a break from swirling around the tropical punch mix.
“This is as good a time as any to explain this to you,” he began, “see that water?”
It was unfortunate that at this moment, a tentacle that had begun to grip Cedric’s leg became a much bigger nuisance than originally thought…
- Chapter 4 -
They had grown up fully-expecting odd things to occur in their lives, yet Ryan found himself a bit overwhelmed as he climbed quickly up the hill behind his home. He followed Sandy closely, occasionally taking rather sharp kicks to his hands and knees.
“It’s getting close!” he shouted.
Sandy kept running.
Ryan looked over his shoulder, noticing a rather large lake seemed to be following them. He turned his head back, then ran directly into Sandy. She stumbled a bit, then began to press herself against the large wall of rock that now stood before them. Ryan climbed to his feet, let out a small shriek, then threw himself against the mound, beside her.
“This might hurt.” Sandy said.
“Yeah, it-” was all that Ryan managed, before being completely engulfed by unseasonably warm water. A rather large fish glanced at the pair, but continued following the current north. It seemed to wink at Ryan, just before gliding out of sight.
Sandy reached up and, to her surprise, her fingertips could feel air. She felt along the wall and found several small indentations in the rock. Gripping her brother’s collar tightly with her right hand, she used her left hand to pull herself upward, over the stones. As their heads peaked out over the surface, Ryan could swear he saw a man being pulled from his home by a rather curious-looking squid…
- Chapter 5 -
Cedric once had a goldfish named Julius. It was much more aggressive than the average Carassius Auratus, but Cedric found it’s floundering to be a good source of entertainment. Many times, he would find himself staring into the fishbowl, watching Julius glide through the water for rather long periods of time. It was not particularly interesting, but then again, it wasn’t particularly boring either. There was something provocative about the 8-gallon universe, and its single inhabitant. Would Julius swim clockwise around the castle today, or would he do the opposite? Would swim around the castle at all? Would he take small bites at Cedric’s finger when the tiny fish flakes are delivered to the surface? In any case, there was so much uncertainty in this tiny world, and Cedric was impressed by the possibilities presented by just that. A severe sense of irony had begun to grip him tightly, along with an 8 foot-long, pink tentacle.
“Don’t struggle!” shouted Ted.
Cedric had given up struggling quite a while before this recent word of advice, but attempted to go completely limp, with minimal success. The creature had been attempting to pull him out of the house, but the window frame was far too small, and his body could only fit through if placed into certain configurations. However, now that it was so flexible, there would be no trouble on the squid’s end. Seeing that the plan was not going ahead exactly as planned, Ted offered some new advice.
“Struggle! Hit his… ummm… pull on those little sucker things!”
Ted watched as Cedric was slammed against the ceiling of what, until recently, was his living room.
“Wow, that looked like it hurt. You alright, buddy?”
Cedric mumbled something about needing help, and was promptly pulled through the window.
“Hell’s bells.”
Ted dove into the water, his tail twisting and spiraling like a corkscrew. He dove over the window ledge, then down after his sinking compadre.
Deep beneath the surface, Cedric began to think about everything he had accomplished in the past few years. Particularly, he focused on his garage. Many times, he thought, the colors he picked were rather plain. Boring. He didn’t question his choices, in fact, he was rather pleased with them. Boring was a very pleasant portion of Cedric’s life, up until a half-hour ago. If this were the previous week, he would be climbing into bed for a nap. Instead, he found himself being followed by a talking otter, while in the clutches of a large mollusk. He yearned for simplicity… and air. He opened his eyes wide, feeling the water wash over his pupils. He could see Ted, just a few feet away, catching up rather fast. Cedric reached out, with minimal expectations for rescue.
Ted placed his tiny arms to his side, and kicked his legs hard. He managed to reach Cedric, but continued swimming.
Cedric’s vision was becoming very dark. He watched as the otter’s tail flew past his head, and then felt a sudden jerk, as the squid came to a complete stop. He felt the tentacle’s grip loosen, then his body began to slowly float to the surface. The sun was reflecting off the surface of the water, roughly 100 feet above his head and as he apathetically waved his arms, he began to feel rather weak. Everything went black, and Cedric slipped into a deep slumber.
- Chapter 6 -
People do not expect the unexpected. More so, people do not expect the unexpected expecting the unexpected, which is exactly why Ryan was staring in disbelief as he watched a small otter give CPR to a rather large, half-dead painter. He leaned over toward Sandy, who was looking rather unamused.
“Is this the kind of thing we should be expecting?”
She shrugged.
Moments prior to this, the two had found themselves gasping for air, atop a small patch of land that jutted out of the water. They were observing their surroundings, when a man floated to the surface. Moments later, an otter emerged beside him, and guided the man’s body to Sandy and Ryan’s island. Ryan had begun to offer assistance, but quickly stepped back when the otter began shouting profanities at the dead body.
“Wake up, you bastard! I know damn well you’re not dead!”
The creature pounded its tiny hands against the man’s chest.
“I said, wake up! Son of a bitch!”
The children were dumbfounded.
“Son of a bitch, bastard!”
Sandy stepped forward and opened her mouth to speak.
“You’re in for a world of pain,” the animal continued, “if you don’t wake up in the next five seconds!”
The young girl took a few steps back, looked at her brother, and raised her eyebrow.
“I don’t know.” she mouthed.