Comments | writing_samsara: [POTC challenge fic] - "Smoke"

writing_samsara

[POTC challenge fic] - "Smoke" - rated R

Jan 10, 2007 00:48

Challenge: Write a scene for each of the words below using characters from Pirates of the Caribbean.

1)spine
2)song
3)smoke
4)gold
5)box
6)flee
7)snake
8) memories
9)henna
10)eyes

Three down, seven to go. I think I need a beta as I’ve got a feeling I never edit these as ravenously as I could. Anywho, here’s hoping for your enjoyment!

Only wisps ( Read more... )

challenge, potc, fic

Comments 37

.... fistmarks January 10 2007, 17:20:06 UTC

This is just...I don't have the words to describe how beautiful and heart breaking this was. I love that the entire story is vague images rather than blatant descriptions. It should make things unclear but...everything was perfectly clear and just truly beautiful. Well done!

Re: .... writing_samsara January 10 2007, 22:00:31 UTC

Oh, thank you! I'm glad that the sort of "smokiness" and the vaguaries worked for you. As I was writing it, I kept thinking, "Dang, is this making sense?"

hereswith January 10 2007, 17:45:28 UTC

Oh dear. That was heart-wrenching, truly, and so beautiful, so very well done. I love how you write the memories haunting him here, the ritual he performs, and your use of language is exquisite. It's almost impossible to pick favourite lines, the whole thing is great, but here are a few...

Shores of the undead resting in this cup of hers, a pocket of world’s end that he’s carried with him as a reminder of consequence.

There is absence, and there is what he can do, and there is beneath every motion the need to liberate her ghost.

“Jack,” and it’s her voice sure as the sunlight still hours away, rough and stormy from lack of use.

But she’s the sea lapping him and he’s awash in her, his pleasure like the tide.

And since I'm very fond of Parrot, I really liked that you included him at the end!

Just noticed that you had friended me, I'll friend you right back. I still write PotC, though not quite as often as I used to :-)

writing_samsara January 10 2007, 22:04:17 UTC

Thanks so much for the detailed comment! It's made my afternoon much brighter.

And hooray for Parrot! I don't think poor Parrot gets enough credit - hell, he speaks for a human and all, and he makes good sense. Maybe a Parrot POV fic is in the stars. Hmmmm......

hereswith January 10 2007, 23:59:29 UTC

Parrot fic!!! Yes, that would be nice ;-)

sparrows_swann January 10 2007, 18:20:26 UTC

I just wanted to say that I might have cried a little. Heartbroken!Jack really affected me! Great job conveying that!!!

*Sniffles and goes off to read some fluffy fic

writing_samsara January 10 2007, 22:07:04 UTC

*hands over tissue*

I hate to think of making someone cry, but I have to confess I'm all a-tingle to read that my work might have inspired a little saline. I'm completely flattered.

Thanks very much.

fid_gin January 10 2007, 19:31:13 UTC

Beatiful and heartbreaking. That's all I can say.

Thank you for sharing...friending you.

writing_samsara January 10 2007, 22:08:06 UTC

Thanks! Friending you right back. :)

....wow.... someoneingrey January 11 2007, 04:08:40 UTC

I'm speechless. I love the feel of the whole thing, that nothing is quite clear; its very dreamlike and I think it suits the mood well.

And I like that Elizabeth has left him to go off and do what she pleases and it affects him so much.

I like Jack’s depth, also.

Re: ....wow.... writing_samsara January 11 2007, 04:30:24 UTC

Oh, thanks so much! I like this Elizabeth as well. Love often isn't everything, despite what our cultural and biological mechanisms would have us believe. Sometimes you just have to do things for yourself that don't follow a loved one's path.

I like to think that she may come back, but as a legend in her own right. Have to ponder that one...

Oh, and I've friended you as well. :)