[POTC fic series] - SAILING IN SAMSARA, C.3 - The Paths of Krishna and Kali - 2/4 - rated NC-17

[writing_samsara]

Sailing in Samsara, C.3 - The Paths of Krishna and Kali - part two

“Oh yes Gibbs. Quite fine indeed.” Capping her flask and setting it beside her, she sat in pensive silence for long moments, listening to the lap of the waves, to the gull’s somber cooing, to Gibbs swigging and slurping and otherwise humming under his breath, and to the staccato ping

Comments

[djarum99]

Sara as storyteller is divine, as is the tale she weaves. I love the crew's engagement, very in character for all of them (“Adopted them?” Pintell asked, ducking his head sheepishly - priceless.)

The nuances of Jack's relationship with his sister that you've slipped in are masterful, just enough to wash the background in preparation for what is to come. Also love the set-up for Sara and Liz interaction.

Brava, darling!

[writing_samsara]

"Sara as storyteller is divine, as is the tale she weaves. I love the crew's engagement, very in character for all of them (“Adopted them?” Pintell asked, ducking his head sheepishly - priceless.)"
------ Thank you so much! I had such a good time using Sara as a vessel to retell some of my favorite stories, and the crew was awesome. We had fun. And rum. And Ragetti lost his eyeball....again. ;)

"The nuances of Jack's relationship with his sister that you've slipped in are masterful, just enough to wash the background in preparation for what is to come. Also love the set-up for Sara and Liz interaction."
------ So glad you are enjoying their relationship, and that it's got an authentic taste. :)

[compassrose7577]

Still sipping coffee--well, it's getting cold, because I"m too enthralled to remember to drink.

Sly girl!! Nice twist--fact and folklore--krishna/kali vs. J/E

I like it. Also reveled in the interplay.

[writing_samsara]

Yay for coffee. Mmmm. And tea. Thank God for steamy, black, sage-and-sugar sweetened Persian Tea. I could write sonnets about it.

Thanks for the lovely comment, and glad you had fun! The folklore is my little darling - just in love with Hinduism's many dichotomies.

[compassrose7577]

We tend to think the ancients were a little on the dumb side---modern man doesnt seem to give them much credit. But I think they were far wiser than we could ever hope to be. Maybe they just didn't have stupid TV shows to cloud their thinking, and techno crises that threw off their energies.

[cmgacrux]

Hinduism! Yay! I'm so thrilled that you included Krishna and Radha in the story. :) Sara's a great storyteller; her costume reminds me of the red one Aishwarya wore in Umrao Jaan.

[writing_samsara]

Thank you so much! Krishna and Radha are a favorite of mine, as is Kali. Much more myth-and-religion mish-mash to come. :)

Oh yes, I loved that costume. If anyone's interested, the vid for that, "Joothe Ilzaam", is here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=6DURvU1p9Js

I actually based the costume and dance (pretty much bit for bit), on Madhuri Dixit's first dance in "Devdas" (to "Kahe Ched Mohe" of course). I meant to link it in the story, but somehow couldn't get the edit to work (grrrrr).

Here it is (Kahe Ched Mohe): http://youtube.com/watchv=N7GEYIQYcqk

Friggin LJ!

[writing_samsara]

And let's try that again

http://youtube.com/watch?v=N7GEYIQYcqk

Re: Friggin LJ!

[cmgacrux]

Ah, "Devdas!" Completely forgot about it. *grins sheepishly*

[erinya]

You always manage to give such vivid descriptions of Sara's performances--I get a nice clear image of what she's doing. That takes talent. And I love her story-telling, and the mythology, and the way she enchants the crew. Apparently a way with words runs in the family.

“You know, for a mute you’re very mouthy, young Miss.”

Hee! But that's why he keeps her around, after all. :-)

A couple things I caught:

She rose her high-pitched voice, a fragile-throated nightbird as she lifted her right leg at a rigid angle.

I think the verb you want here is "raised"--it's the transitive form.

Raising her eyebrow and balling her fist in pretend fierceness, Jack lifted his hands in surrender and jerked his head towards Sara’s show.

This has a dangling modifier--the construction implies that Jack is the one raising an eyebrow etc, even though the pronouns don't agree, because "Jack" is the only subject-noun in the sentence.

[writing_samsara]

Thanks so much for the grammar check! You are still my Beta Queen. :) Will fix tonight when I try to wrestle these chapters into edited submission. For the fiftieth time. Thanks, LJ.....

And so glad the dance scenes worked for you. I always worry that somehow the music and dance won't translate over - just because it's so hard to really capture the motion and the sound in a logical way. Thanks so much!

Oh, and on that note, did you get a chance to check out the video link to "Kahe Ched Mohe"? It's the dance and song that inspired Sara's little kathak show, and the story about Radha and Krishna.

[hereswith]

Very evocative scene with Sara dancing and singing, and I really liked how you wrote the crew's reactions to her and the tale she spun for them, even Parrot! And this: “Tied them to sea turtles and sent them to sea!” Gibbs cried, nearly toppling from his seat. Lol!

Also loved the following bit: His mouth turned up mischievously at the corners, but she knew him enough to read the distant look in his eyes. Longing to touch him, to soothe from him that soggy-eyed sadness, she instead uncapped her flask and swallowed heartily.

[writing_samsara]

Thank you so, so much for the detailed feedback! It really keeps me motivated to see what works for everyone, and I'm tickled pink that you enjoyed my bits of the crew banter and silliness.

*squish* :)