fic- "Time Heals" (NC-17, Complete, SGA, Ties that Bind) Part 5
Time Heals by CJ aka WritinginCT (NC-17)
Fandom: Stargate SGA
Pairing: multiple m/m (primarily OC's), m/f, m/m/f
Warnings: rape/ torture recovery (non graphic descriptions of the assault itself)
Categories: Drama, romance, friendship, family, BDsM.
Disclaimer: I don't own the recognizable characters I'm just inspired by them.
Status: Complete 6/08/2011 53200 words
Summary: Time may have healed their bodies, but for two damaged men assigned to Atlantis, it will take meeting each other to truly become whole again.
Note: Set, with permission, in the alternate SGA universe The Ties That Bind created by keiramarcos , which was inspired by xanthelj 's works Coming Home and General & Dr. Sheppard.
Thanks to singletailwhip for the grammar beta! She's a master comma wrangler and error catcher!
Special thanks to Keira for letting me play in her sandbox and her support and beta. I adore the TTB series and I'm so excited to have permission to be a part of it- thank you, Keira!
------------------------------
Their conversation was light as they walked, talking mostly about the things they were seeing at the moment. They reached a far point on one of the piers and sat down for a while with their legs dangling over the edge.
Carmine was looking out at the ocean, a peaceful look on his face as the sea breeze brushed past them. He broached tentatively, "So you and Caldwell, huh?"
"Yeah, but it was a long time ago."
"He still cares about you, you know. A lot."
Joey hesitated a moment, then answered honestly, "I know, and I still care about him, too, but he and I just don't work together long-term and we both accepted that."
Carmine's voice was gentle as he replied, "I'm sorry. He's a good man."
"Yes, he is. He's the closest thing I've ever had to family."
The sun was dipping past the horizon sending deep orange streaks across the water. The two men watched the sun sink in comfortable silence.
It was Joey's turn to tentatively broach another painful topic. "Adrian told me about Lisa, I'm sorry."
A bittersweet smile graced Carmine's mouth and he said, "She was so beautiful. There was nothing I wouldn't have given her if she asked."
Before Joey could reply, Carmine chuckled coarsely. "You know my Mamma hated her. She said Lisa was shallow and heartless. I never saw it until the day she came into my hospital room and asked me to take off her collar. In the end, Mamma was right."
Joey's hand lifted automatically and moved to rub Carmine's back in support. He caught it before the contact was made though, and he tried to nonchalantly hide the motion and dropped his hand down to the pier.
With a grin and a very overt move, Carmine reached over and put his hand on top of Joey's and looked over at him. "You can touch me any time you want, Joey, I promise to behave myself."
Joey's cheeks flamed and he became aware of Carmine's thumb gently rubbing along his and it gave him a little courage. "There's something I need to tell you, Carmine, but I don't know how and I honestly don't know if I'm ready to tell anyone."
"Joey, I'm getting a pretty good idea that some Dom abused your trust somewhere along the way. I can't fix what happened in your past, all I can do is work at building the trust between us right here, right now, and I'm willing to do whatever you need me to do to accomplish that."
Carmine shifted to face Joey in the dying light and met his gaze. "This isn't just about sex or dynamics for me. I'm not quite sure how it happened so fast, but you've become someone who is very important to me. And I can wait as long as you need me to wait for the rest."
Joey turned his hand over and squeezed Carmine's, his voice choked with emotion as he replied, "You're very important to me, too."
Carmine pulled his hand away and lifted his arm, "C'mere," he said lightly and was inordinately pleased when Joey slid closer and practically melted into him when he put his arm around Joey's shoulder and pressed him in close. They lost track of exactly how long they sat out on that pier like that, but when they finally went inside, the planet's moons were high in the night sky.
---------------
Joey found himself tucked between Ramon and Carmine to bear witness to the morning's punishment detail. Watching Colonel Sheppard strip naked and cane that obnoxious fuck of a scientist had been an intense experience. When they were dismissed and were making their way out of the room, Carmine asked quietly, "You all right? You went a little pale in there."
"I just hate that Doctor Phelps thought he could treat Doctor Kusanagi that way. It's not right."
"No it isn't, and I think the Colonel got that point across loud and clear."
"I hope so. I need to go, they've got three teams heading offworld and I want to be sure the equipment is squared away."
"Lunch?"
"Actually I'm meeting with Dr. Beckett around then, I don't know how long that will take."
"Beckett?"
"Yeah, I'm scheduled for the gene therapy injection and an initial meet and greet."
"Let me know how it goes."
Joey nodded and gave Carmine a grin before turning and heading off.
"Your Mamma will like him you know," Ramon teased from behind Carmine.
"You think so?" Carmine asked a little wistfully.
"Oh, yeah. And so will your Papa, I can see those two tinkering in his workshop for hours."
Carmine smiled at the thought. His father was a gentle man, a sub with a willingness to please and a sense of humor that diffused many a tense situation at home. He was the perfect complement to the spitfire that was Carmine's Mamma. Ramon was right, he could picture Joey and his father hitting it off well, and he wondered when he might get the opportunity to introduce them. It never even occurred to him that he wouldn't.
---------------
Carson was one of the few in the expedition that had access to Joey's complete medical file. General O'Neill had sent it specially encoded for Carson's eyes only and at General O'Neill's request he had read it thoroughly, twice actually. He had been glad he took the General's advice and done it at the end of his day yesterday so he could follow up the grim reading with a strong belt of scotch.
Carson quickly found them a private area to talk. "Sergeant, would you like to have a medical advocate present?"
Joey was visibly uncomfortable at the thought and quickly said, "No, sir. I'll be fine with just you if that's okay."
Carson didn't feel the need to go over every iota of Joey's file but they did touch on a few things that made Joey flush and stammer out his replies.
"Now I see that you requested a referral for counseling while on board the Daedalus and that you've been seeing Doctor Johnson. Is that working out for you or would you like to try speaking with one of the other psychologists I have on staff?"
"No, sir, Doctor Johnson is great. She makes me feel very comfortable talking to her and I'd rather not change if I don't have to."
"She does have that way about her, eh, lad? We're lucky to have her. But just so you know, you are able to switch at any time, no questions asked, all right?"
"Yes, sir."
"Okay, then, shall we move on to the gene therapy then?"
At Joey's nod, they did just that and in no time Joey was hopping off the table, free to go.
"Thank you, Doctor, I'll come back to test it in a couple of hours."
"Sergeant, I ... I just want you to know that I take great offense at what happened to you, both as a doctor and as a Dom. And if there is anything I can do for you in either of those capacities, I will be more than happy to do so. If you have questions about your own body or need someone to check in with or push off someone that's not taking no for an answer please let me know, it'll be no trouble at all."
"I appreciate that, sir."
"Oh, there is one other thing I should mention. I know you have General O'Neill listed as your official medical proxy with Colonel Caldwell as a secondary. You might want to consider also having someone stationed on Atlantis as well. We're a wee bit remote out there in Pegasus and having someone closer to home would be a wise idea. So if you have a friend or someone you trust among the expedition you might want to talk to them about it and just let me know so I can update your records.."
"I hadn't even thought about that, Doctor. I'll see what I can figure out and I'll get back to you on that."
"Excellent. Well, unless there is anything else, off you go, lad."
"Thanks again, sir."
Carson watched Joey walk away and his brow furrowed sadly thinking about the things he had read in Joey's file. He was a beautiful and gentle sub that deserved to be cherished and looked after. Carson hoped that he found someone on Atlantis that could look past his history and shower him with the all attention and love that a sub like Joey needed.
---------------
Carmine's radio chimed and he answered it promptly. "Picone."
It was Joey on the other end bubbling with excitement. "It worked. The gene therapy worked for me."
"Excellent. Do you feel any different?" Carmine asked.
"Not so much as feel, but hear I guess. There's like background noise or something. Doctor Beckett says it's some sort of feed from the city itself. He pointed me towards some stuff to read about it on the server later on."
"There goes another night of studying," Carmine chided with a touch of humor. He took Joey's studies very seriously.
"Yeah, but knowing how to interact safely with the city is important. Guess it's a good thing I got so far ahead while we were in transit. So what are you working on?"
"War game scenarios. We're going to be heading to the mainland for a couple of days to kick the collective asses of the Marines and the Army Rangers."
Joey chuckled, all of the special forces guys had been trash talking to each other the entire trip to Atlantis. This round of first war games would give the winners bragging rights while the others ate their words.
"Sounds like fun. I'll let you get back to planning their demise."
"Hey, Joey?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad that you wanted to share your news with me."
Joey's quiet response of, "Nobody more, sir," made Carmine smile and unfurled a warm feeling somewhere deep in his gut.
---------------
It took a solid week of work to get their work area organized and squared away. Joey was very matter-of-fact about how he wanted things, and he worked just as hard alongside Corporal James as the younger man did to get it there. It only took a few days for people to stop bitching at James that this wasn't working or that wasn't working, and where the hell their MALPS were. They were working on going thoroughly through each piece of equipment and making needed repairs or completing preventative maintenance and Joey found himself in the odd position of being the teacher to the younger Marine. He taught through example just as Siler had done with him and it gave him a sense of personal accomplishment to be in the position to do so.
They were both hunched over a data pad going over the work schedule Joey had compiled from their list of preventative maintenance as well as the current off world mission schedule. Joey had been flabbergasted that James hadn't even had something so simple as a list of when equipment was going to be needed. Obviously unscheduled requests came up, but they were easy in comparison to always running behind for scheduled missions.
A deep, "Gentlemen," from the entrance to their area brought them both up short. They turned and immediately straightened upon seeing Master Chief Frost standing there. He walked further into the bay, looking around with interest and approval. He noted the neatly taped off and numbered "parking spots" on the floor for each vehicle, and he noted the new utility shelving along the back wall filled with clearly labeled totes of parts, and lastly he noted the work bench itself, with all the tools efficiently hung on a pegboard system.
Frost had seen what the area had looked like upon their arrival on the city and the transformation was nothing short of amazing.
He came to a stop in front of the two men. "Sergeant, Corporal."
Joey swallowed hard, the Master Chief's presence just filled the room. "Master Chief."
"We've got company arriving in a little under three weeks, members of the IOA and the new head of Homeworld Security." He glanced around with a little grin playing at the corners of his mouth and continued, "And I came down here to tell you that that's how long you had to get this area squared away, but it looks like that's not going to be an issue. It looks great down here. Nice work, Sergeant."
What Joey said next would forever cement Corporal James' loyalty to him. "Thank you, sir. But I can't take all the credit, the Corporal here has been working just as hard as I have."
Frost looked intently at Joey for a moment and he could feel the beginnings of his damnable flush starting on his cheeks. Finally, much to Joey's relief, he turned his attention to James and said, "Duly noted, Sergeant. Corporal, keep up the good work."
"Thank you, sir. I'm learning a lot from Sergeant Olsen, sir."
Frost nodded in acknowledgment then changed the subject and turned his attention back to Joey. "Sergeant, do you need anything down here? More shelving? Lights? Anything like that?"
"I believe we are set with that sort of thing for the time being, sir. I have another set of shelving that isn't assembled so storage isn't a problem. If the Daedalus is coming back this soon though, sir, we have one MALP and one FRED that should probably go back to Earth. They were original to the expedition and both need serious overhauling, in reality they should probably just be scrapped, sir. It's just not time- or cost-effective to try to repair them."
"Send me an email with that information, Sergeant and I'll take care of it. Is there anything else you need?"
"Actually, sir, do you have time to go over some scheduling issues?"
"Absolutely, show me what you've got."
They dismissed James and Joey handed the Master Chief the data pad.
"This is a schedule of all our preventative maintenance and currently scheduled missions."
Joey knew exactly how long each standard maintenance task took and had incorporated time blocks in the schedule for everything. The schedule was full, too full for just two people to accomplish.
It only took Frost a glance at the schedule to come to the same conclusion. "You need at least one more body down here."
"Yes, sir. Ideally two, where we could stagger schedules so that there was someone here around the clock."
"I told them I thought they shorted you on personnel. Okay, I'll see who I can reassign."
"May I make a suggestion, sir?"
"Of course, Sergeant."
"It might not be a bad idea to have some folks rotate in and out. Sort of spread the skill set around a little. You know, just in case, sir."
Frost nodded thoughtfully, no one wanted to think about losing people, but it happened and planning a little in advance for it could lessen the immediate impact of the loss of skills.
He handed the data pad back to Joey and said, "That's good thinking, Sergeant. Send me a copy of that schedule and I'll see what I can do on that front. Anything else?
He could see Joey hesitate to answer. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms and waited expectantly.
"Sir, I know I don't need to be privy to all the details of every mission, but I've requested to be informed about the type of planetary terrain that the equipment goes to, for example, if it's a sandy planet or a wet bog. I've asked twice now, but I've been told that I don't need that information and don't have the necessary clearance. But if I know the type of terrain the vehicles have been to, sir, I can sometimes eliminate time-consuming tasks that just aren't necessary in turning them around for their next mission."
"Sounds logical to me, Sergeant. I'll talk to Major Lorne and see why that type of information request would be refused."
"Thank you, sir."
Frost turned to leave, but before he did he said lightly with a little grin, "You're doing a good job and I'm pleased, Master Sergeant. You're giving me hope for Air Force NCO's."
Frost only allowed himself to chuckle over the sight of Sergeant Olsen's scarlet flush once he had left the bay, even though Sean was his whole world, it still amused him when other subs would so completely and unconsciously react to his dynamic.
---------------
Joey's twice weekly sessions with Doctor Johnson were going well and she was pleased with his progress and eagerness to work so diligently at his issues.
Little did she realize, his eagerness wasn't so much borne out of her pleasant nature and counseling skills, but rather an increasing desire to have a certain Navy SEAL's hands on him.
Two weeks before the Daedalus arrived back to Atlantis, Joey found himself oddly without Carmine's company; Carmine and his team were off world.
He had eaten dinner in the dining hall with Adrian and was heading back to his quarters alone when someone fell into step next to him as he walked. He glanced over and saw a civilian top he didn't recognize, but the man's presence made his skin crawl.
"On your own, tonight?" the man asked Joey.
"Excuse me?" Joey asked, not quite liking the man's tone.
"I just saw that you're by yourself for a change, figured I'd ask if you want some company."
Joey paused in the hallway and turned towards the other man. Upon fully seeing him, he tried to stave off the flares of panic he felt in his gut, and firmly replied, "I'm sorry, I'm not entertaining socially at this time."
Without batting an eye or even acknowledging that he heard Joey, the other man took a step closer into Joey's personal space and said, "Oh, come on. I'm a whole lot prettier than that big ugly Jarhead that's always hanging around you. I'll show you a great time."
The closer the man got the more the panic set in and the harder it got to breathe. Then the man's hand dared to brush his cheek, and the next thing Joey knew he was squinting at a penlight being shined into his eyes.
"Easy, lad," came Carson's calming voice.
The corridor was crowded with military and civilians alike and as Joey sat up he was mortified, completely and utterly mortified.
Joey didn't say a word as Carson disbursed the crowd and escorted Joey to the infirmary under his own steam.
Carson could see that the sub looked devastated and broken. According to his records, Joey hadn't had a panic attack like that in almost two years, and Carson wondered what, or more specifically who caused it.
Joey submitted to a medical scan which showed nothing other than slightly irregular blood pressure, which was understandable given the circumstances.
Carson gave Joey a light sedative and kept him in the infirmary for the night.
---------------
Joey woke slowly to see Carmine sitting in the hard plastic chair next to his infirmary bed, a worried set to his face.
When he saw that Joey was awake he leaned in and smiled gently. "Hey, sleeping beauty."
"Hey," Joey replied weakly. As much as he wanted Carmine there right now, he didn't want to have to explain what happened or why.
"Doc says we can spring you after breakfast."
Joey nodded, but didn't say anything.
Joey was painfully quiet through the meal that was placed in front of him, and remained so as Carmine walked him to his quarters.
"You going to be all right for a while? I've got to go debrief," Carmine asked.
"I'll be okay, I always am."
Carmine's expression grew serious at Joey's reply and he said, "Okay. But you and I are going to talk about that particular statement at some point. I'll be back for lunch."
Joey went inside and curled up on the couch near the window staring out at the ocean. He didn't move from that spot for a very long time.
---------------
Carmine, Ramon, and the rest of their team quickly got through the debrief. Ramon could see that Carmine was a little distracted and knew that he was worried about Joey.
When they left the meeting, Carmine headed for the security office. He wanted to see exactly what had happened with Joey. Ramon fell into step with him, sensing that there was trouble brewing.
Sergeant Bates quickly showed Carmine the video of the incident. They watched it three times, and Bates and Ramon could both feel the rage building in Carmine.
In a low and deadly voice, Carmine asked Bates, "Do you know who that top is?"
"Yes, sir, that's Dr. Scott Kent, he's a chemist I believe."
"Thank you, Sergeant."
Carmine turned to go and Ramon and Bates shared a worried look before Ramon quickly followed Carmine.
Ramon asked, "You're not planning anything stupid are you?"
Through gritted teeth Carmine replied, "I'm just going to talk to him."
The expression on Ramon's face showed his disbelief.
They entered a lab area and Carmine beaded on Kent. With his arms crossed across his chest and his entire demeanor adversarial, Carmine asked, "Are you Dr. Scott Kent?"
Kent paled when he realized who was addressing him, but he replied, "Yes, I am."
"And you being a doctor should mean you're a pretty smart guy, right?"
Kent made the mistake of getting snotty back to Carmine, "Given that I have two doctorates I'd have to say that, yes, I'm a pretty smart guy."
"I'm also going to assume that you since you seem to understand my questions and do not have any hint of an accent that English is your primary language?"
"Yes, but how is any of this any business of yours?"
"Let's just say I'm a little confused then, Doctor, because if you're supposedly a pretty smart guy and you understand English just fine, why the fuck you would dare touch a submissive, without permission, who had just told you he wasn't interested and offer to show him a good time."
"That was a private conversation."
"No, technically it borders on assault and your ass will be on a cross for it, I promise you."
"You have no authority over me, he doesn't wear your collar."
"No, I don't. But I will make damn sure that it's taken seriously by the people who do."
"This will never go anywhere and you know it."
"Maybe it will, maybe it won't, but you had better take what I'm about to say to heart. Do not go near Olsen again, he's off-limits to you. Am I clear?"
"Again, you have no authority over me, and he doesn't wear your collar. I can interact with anyone I damn well choose."
Carmine took a step toward Kent and Ramon made ready to keep him from killing the mouthy scientist. Kent paled and Carmine leaned in and said in a low voice for Kent's ears only, "For the record, the big, ugly Jarhead is actually a Navy SEAL that has spent his entire career sneaking in and out of places and slitting throats. So when I tell you that you will leave Olsen alone, you will, because trust me when I say, you don't want me to pay you a midnight visit."
Carmine stepped back and Kent's face was almost as white as his lab coat.
He turned and left the lab with Ramon just a step behind.
---------------
Joey's door chimed and he forced himself to move to answer it. The concerned face of Dr. Johnson was probably the only one he actually wanted to see.
She smiled warmly and said, "I heard there was an incident last night and I thought I would see if you wanted to talk about it."
Joey nodded and gestured for her to enter.
They settled themselves at his small table and she sat quietly, waiting for him to say something. It took him a moment before blurting out, "He looks and sounds just like Borden."
"And that triggered the panic attack?"
Joey nodded and the floodgate opened, the impromptu session digging out some of the deepest issues Joey struggled with.
They talked for close to two hours and Joey's mood and demeanor were much lighter at the end of their conversation than they had been when she arrived.
---------------
Carmine gripped the handrail on the balcony, allowing the gentle sea breeze to calm him.
Ramon was next to him, leaning on his forearms on the railing. He said carefully, "That idiot was right about one thing, man. Joey doesn't wear your collar, and you're not contracted. Technically, he's fair game for other tops to pursue."
Carmine sighed. "I know."
"Look, I don't want to pry into your private business, but I get the vibe that some asshole along the way did something to Joey that makes him afraid to trust other Doms."
"Yeah, that's about what I know. I think he and I are building something good, Ramon, but I can't push him, we've gotta take this at his pace. But I can't protect him this way. I don't know what the fuck to do anymore."
"I don't know, Carm. You know I'll look out for him, so will the rest of the team, hell, even that little piss-ant Corporal that works for him has glared at other tops looking the wrong way at Joey."
That made Carmine chuckle. "He's a good kid."
They stood there soaking up the sun and the breeze for a couple of minutes when Carmine said sadly, "I can't get the image of how absolutely terrified Joey was on that video out of my head."
"Yeah, I know," Ramon replied and reached over and gave Carmine's shoulder a squeeze.
Carmine grinned wryly and said, "Mamma would know what to do, she always knows what to do."
Ramon snorted. "Well, maybe you need to start thinking like your Mamma then."
---------------
At Dr. Johnson's prompting, Joey radioed Doctor Beckett and asked for a favor which was granted with an unseen wince on Carson's end.
------------------------------
Part 6
Time Heals index