fic- "Time Heals" (NC-17, Complete, SGA, Ties that Bind) Part 9
Time Heals by CJ aka WritinginCT (NC-17)
Fandom: Stargate SGA
Pairing: multiple m/m (primarily OC's), m/f, m/m/f
Warnings: rape/ torture recovery (non graphic descriptions of the assault itself)
Categories: Drama, romance, friendship, family, BDsM.
Disclaimer: I don't own the recognizable characters I'm just inspired by them.
Status: Complete 6/08/2011 53200 words
Summary: Time may have healed their bodies, but for two damaged men assigned to Atlantis, it will take meeting each other to truly become whole again.
Note: Set, with permission, in the alternate SGA universe The Ties That Bind created by keiramarcos , which was inspired by xanthelj 's works Coming Home and General & Dr. Sheppard.
Thanks to singletailwhip for the grammar beta! She's a master comma wrangler and error catcher!
Special thanks to Keira for letting me play in her sandbox and her support and beta. I adore the TTB series and I'm so excited to have permission to be a part of it- thank you, Keira!
------------------------------
He pulled off his t-shirt and ordered Joey, "C'mere."
Carmine watched as Joey approached, he could see that Joey was curious but not tense or afraid and he took that as a good sign.
He took Joey's hands in his and kissed him playfully. "We're going to have fun. What's your safeword?"
Joey nodded and replied in a confident voice, "Poodle, sir."
"Good. Ready? It's just me here."
Joey nodded again and Carmine gently nudged him so his back was to the wall. He bent and placed Joey's feet between the blocks, pleased at how open and accessible it made Joey. He stood and could see that Joey had his eyes closed and was breathing in very slow controlled breaths. There was still no tension in Joey's body though, and Carmine proceeded to place each of Joey's arms in a loop.
Carmine trailed his hand down Joey's chest and whispered, "Così bella."
He stepped back and watched Joey intently for a moment, looking for signs of distress--and was pleased that there were none. Joey hands were loosely closed, but not fisted, and his eyes were closed and his head was bowed in that demure way that went straight to Carmine's dick. Joey was simply relaxed and waiting.
Carmine turned back to the toy box with a grin. He rooted around and came up with a couple favorites of his, things that would be perfect for this first time, one a dry natural loofah mitten that was rough and a little scratchy, and the other a fur mitt, the loofah's polar opposite. He figured that between the two he would have Joey begging in minutes.
Carmine knew that there wasn't anything in the toy box that should be panic inducing. The two of them going through everything together had been one of Dr. Johnson's first suggestions. They had sat down and done exactly that the second night Joey wore his collar. Carmine had been both pleased and relieved that other than a crop that had been quickly gotten rid of, Joey had actually been excited about the toy box contents overall. There was even a soft suede flogger that Joey hadn't wanted to get rid of, but had asked for a little more time to work up to it.
Carmine's toy box held a lot of the expected, but there were certain things that made Joey grin and chuckle as they went through them, things like a kitchen cookie cutter wheel, a little toy truck with hard nubby tires, and even what appeared to be the stretchy plastic net bag that onions came in at the grocery store. Carmine's nimble fingers were always finding tactile things, and he enjoyed figuring out how to use even the most mundane, everyday items to tease and stimulate his submissives.
With the two mitts in hand Carmine stepped over to Joey and in short order, just as he knew that they would, the two competing textures of the mitts had Joey aroused and moaning and straining in pleasure against his bonds.
Over and over Carmine dragged the two mitts all over Joey's hypersensitive skin, until Joey was trembling so hard that Carmine thought he might just fly apart. Carmine deftly dropped the mitts and leaned in to claim Joey's mouth in a long deep kiss as he stepped closer to press Joey between the wall and his own solid body, trapping their cocks together between them. Joey greedily pressed back, craving the skin on skin contact. Carmine moved his hips in a slow, steady rhythm that matched what his mouth was doing to Joey's. The warm friction was deliciously tantalizing, and was furthering both men's arousal to a whole new level.
When Carmine's strong hands slipped down between him and the wall to cup and knead his ass cheeks, Joey had a flash of the two of them in the same bondage situation, except that in this fantasy, instead of just grabbing his ass and getting the two of them off through frottage, Carmine would use those strong hands to hold him up as he slipped his beautiful cock into his ass and fucked him long and slow.
It was that thought that sent Joey over the edge. He barely had the wherewithal to pull his mouth back a bit from Carmine's and hoarsely cry out, "Coming, I'm coming."
Carmine's hips never stopped, never changed rhythm, and it made Joey feel like he was going to keep coming forever.
Carmine let his own release overtake him as Joey's was waning. As they both stood there on legs that felt like jelly, Carmine couldn't have been more pleased with how Joey had responded. He kissed Joey one final time and rested his forehead against Joey's. "Well I think that went well. Perfect, actually. What do you think?"
Joey smiled dopily and answered, "That scratchy mitt is evil."
Carmine chuckled and teased, "You left it in the box, makes it fair game."
"Don't remind me."
Carmine stepped back and gently took Joey's arms out of the loops. He gave each one a brisk rub to make sure Joey's circulation was good and then led Joey to the shower.
After a slow and pampering shower, they got out and dried off. In a move that was a repeat of their very first shower together, Carmine looped his rolled up towel around Joey's neck and pulled him in close.
His expression was serious, and not his normal jovial, and he said softly, "I know what it's taking you to trust me like that, and I don't ever want you to think I lose sight of that. You're strong, probably stronger than I am to be honest, and you're beautiful and perfect, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you're mine." Carmine paused and swallowed hard before continuing, "I love you."
Joey's eyes had welled up, and his own voice wavered as he replied, "I never thought I would find someone who I could trust again, that I wanted to trust again until I met you. You make me feel safe, and you've given me a family that I've never had before and the promise of a wonderful future together. I'm honored to give myself to you and I do it because I love you, too."
Carmine wrapped his arms around Joey and squeezed. The emotional moment stretched and it was long after all the condensation on the bathroom mirrors had disappeared that the two men finally separated and went to bed.
---------------
They had another week and a half of domestic bliss before the Pegasus galaxy showed its true colors. The charred remains believed to be Major Lorne and his team had been solemnly brought back to Atlantis leaving a wake of unanswered questions behind them.
When it was discovered that the remains weren't, in fact, Major Lorne and his team, Colonel Sheppard put out the order to the special ops teams to gear up and get ready to move out.
Carmine had been off world a few times since collaring Joey, but this time was different. They were not simply exploring or trying to make new friends and allies. No, this time, they were going through that gate looking for blood. Both Carmine and Joey were military and knew what that meant--it was the type of mission that not everyone necessarily came home from.
While Carmine was in a hurried briefing with the other teams and Colonel Sheppard, Joey was in his work area quadruple checking every possible piece of equipment that might be requested.
Carmine entered Joey's area fully geared up and armed. He met Joey halfway and they had matching worried expressions on their faces.
"We're dialing out in ten. I wanted to see you before we left."
"All the equipment is ready to go. And so is anything else you might dial in and ask for, I've got it all covered."
Carmine nodded and cleared his throat. "Look, this is my first combat mission since we got together. I don't want to go off and have you worrying that I'm going to do something stupid. I train very hard to make sure my team comes back in one piece, and that includes me."
Joey swallowed hard and replied, "I know."
"I don't envision any issues, with everyone being so focused on what's happening off world and the Daedalus arriving in a few days, but if you have any problems, if anyone hassles you or Adrian I want you to go directly to Master Chief Frost. And I mean anything, am I clear?"
"I understand, I don't think we'll have any problems, but I'm comfortable going to the Master Chief if there are any."
"I have no idea how long we'll be out there, so don't live in this work area, okay? Make sure you eat and sleep and all that fun stuff. And spend some time with Adrian, it'll be good for both of you."
"I will, sir, I promise."
"I know you will," Carmine replied before he pulled Joey in and kissed him tenderly.
Carmine pulled back and turned to head out to the gate room. As he was walking out Corporal James was walking in and Carmine paused.
"Corporal."
James straightened and replied, "Commander."
Carmine liked the piss-ant as Ramon called him. Once Corporal James and Joey had hashed out their working relationship, James found himself unexpectedly welcome among Carmine and Ramon and the rest of their team. He really wasn't a bad kid and he took it upon himself to watch out for Joey and Adrian and the other submissives of the SEALs. Other officers that had known James longer had started to comment that they noticed the positive change in him and it boded well for his future career in the Corps.
"We're heading out, Corporal, no idea when we'll be back. Keep an eye on my family for me while I'm gone?"
"Yes, sir. I always do, sir."
Carmine nodded and smirked to himself as he headed for the gateroom, the kid's heart was in the right place.
---------------
The first day and a half the teams were gone went by very quickly for Joey, the MALPS going through the gate over and over to test possible addresses for the location of their missing people. He tried to keep himself busy so he wouldn't worry and he spent all of his free time in Adrian's company.
Joey hadn't had a top so much as look at him inappropriately since taking Carmine's collar, no one really wanting to mess with the ferocious looking SEAL, but it was comforting when Master Chief Frost made a point of stopping by Joey and Adrian's table in the mess hall, visibly checking in with them.
In all of the chaos Joey had almost forgotten that he had set an appointment with a member of the Botany department on the afternoon of the second day the teams were gone. The botanists wanted to work with Joey to design a module that could be easily attached and detached from a FRED that would house fragile plant specimens in an environment that mimicked the temperature and humidity of the plant's natural habitat.
When a woman's soft voice said from behind him, "Sergeant Olsen?", Joey turned around to see an attractive red-head standing there.
"Yes, can I help you, ma'am?"
She smiled widely and Joey found himself staring. Her entire face had just lit up and he felt a little flutter in his stomach that he was hoping was just too much coffee.
"Hi, I'm Katie Brown, from the Botany department, I believe we have an appointment."
"Yes. Yes, we do, Dr. Brown. I'm sorry, I've just been a little distracted the past couple of days with all the gate activity."
Her expression sobered. "Yeah, I really hope Colonel Sheppard is able to find our people. Faking their deaths like that was just horrible. If you're busy with all that, we can certainly postpone this. The module is important, but it's not the priority right now."
"No, we can get started. I've got time now."
Her smile was back and they made themselves comfortable side-by-side at Joey's desk. Bit by bit they hashed out a rough design for the module. Katie was, without a doubt, the gentlest person Joey had ever met. Her every movement was graceful, and her laughter warm and genuine. She also had a particular scent about her, a combination of soil mixed with a melange of floral scents. Joey found himself distracted by it.
As she leaned even closer to redraw a section of the sketch she accidentally brushed against him. He had to contain his surprise as he felt the first tingles of arousal starting. He had never found a woman sexually attractive before. Carmine had been wholly shocked when Joey had shared with him that he had never been with a woman in his life. He had been embarrassed but Carmine had defused it in his ever-lighthearted way by telling Joey that he obviously hadn't met the right woman yet. Carmine had also promised that whenever he found her, he would do everything he could to make it happen for him.
Joey found himself suddenly wondering what Carmine would think of Katie and what she would think of Carmine. They were thoughts that he quickly shoved away.
The rough draft of the design done, Katie switched over to more personal topics.
"So is your top military or civilian?"
Joey smiled. "He's military. Lieutenant Commander Carmine Picone, he's one of the Navy SEALs."
Katie made a face and thought hard for a moment before replying, "I don't think I've met him. There are so many new people it's hard to keep track of who I've met already, but the name sounds familiar."
Joey gestured to his collar and asked, "So you're not seeing anyone?"
Katie frowned a little and Joey suddenly felt bad for asking. "No, I was seeing someone socially for a while, but our dynamic fit just wasn't good for the long-term. I'm just... I'm just not a masochist. Not in the least. And unfortunately he was a sadist."
Joey could see she that she was uncomfortable and said, "I get that. Neither am I and I'm thankful that Carmine and I are on the same wavelength about that."
Katie's eyes grew a little wistful and her voice was a little deflated as she replied, "It must be nice to have someone you fit so well with."
"Trust me, it took me a long time to find him."
Katie brightened a bit and said, "Well, they do say there is someone out there for everyone. I'll find my someone someday, I guess."
It was long past the end of the normal work shift for both of them and Joey hadn't realized how late it had gotten until Adrian strolled into the work area, his deep voice echoing. "Hey, almost ready to eat? I'm starving."
He paused when he saw someone with Joey and apologized. "Sorry, I didn't know you were in the middle of something."
When they both turned towards him, it only took a second for Adrian to smile and say, "Oh. Hi, Katie."
She smiled and said to Joey, "Now Adrian I remember meeting, and it explains why Commander Picone's name was familiar. But I don't understand, is Adrian related to your Commander Picone?"
"Yes, they are cousins."
"Favorite cousins," Adrian added as usual.
Katie replied, "That's nice, that you have family here on Atlantis."
Adrian's stomach gave a loud growl and he shrugged with an unapologetic grin. "I told you I'm starving. Do you have plans for dinner, Katie, or would you like to join us in the mess hall?"
"I'll have a take a rain check, I have plans with a couple of friends for a girls movie night."
The men readily agreed to a rain check and Katie left. As they watched her turn the final corner out of the area, Adrian nudged Joey and teased, "She's pretty."
Joey tried to glare at Adrian, but his flaming cheeks spoiled the effect. He settled for shaking his head and saying, "Let's go eat."
---------------
By the third day, Joey had caught many glimpses of Commander Sheppard in the control room. Joey couldn't even fathom what thoughts and emotions were going through the outwardly composed Commander, he just couldn't imagine being told that someone he was in a relationship with was dead only to find out that they weren't. Joey's heart broke a little for the Commander and he made sure that his area was running completely by the numbers so as not to add to the Commander's burdens.
As Joey headed up the stairs in the control room to go to his normal appointment with Dr. Johnson, he briefly made eye contact with Commander Sheppard. The Commander gave him a cordial nod before turning his attention to a technician that called his name.
Making his way to the transporter, Joey had a flare of guilt over leaving his post to keep his appointment. He pushed the feeling away, however, reasoning that he was only taking an hour and that he would be at most three minutes away from his post if there were an emergency.
---------------
Dr. Johnson studied Joey's body language for a moment. There was tension present in it, something that rarely occurred in Joey since being collared. But with the current situation on the city, and Carmine off-world with Colonel Sheppard, the tension wasn't unexpected.
Overall, she was extremely pleased with Joey's progress. She was also very pleased with Carmine although she kept that to herself. She had never worked with a patient's top that was so willing to follow her suggestions or do whatever he could to help. If she could have waved a magic wand and conjured up what she thought would have been the perfect Dom to help Joey rebuild his self-esteem and sexuality, the result would have been Carmine.
Joey shared that he was concerned about his sudden attraction to Katie Brown and they discussed it at length. She was pleased with the fact that he had no intention of hiding it from Carmine, but he still felt almost ashamed over it, as if it were some sort of betrayal of his feelings for Carmine. She offered clinically, "Have you considered that maybe because your relationship with Carmine is healthy and physically satisfying that you are just returning to being a more openly sexual person? You said in the past that you felt attraction to others while you wore Colonel Caldwell's collar, men granted, but did you feel like you were being unfaithful to him when that happened?"
"No," Joey answered simply.
"And in our last joint session, Carmine was very open about inviting a second submissive to play if and when you ever felt comfortable enough with the idea. I honestly can't envision him seeing this as any sort of an issue. What you're feeling is natural and healthy. Plus it's a big move forward for you and that will please him."
Joey nodded and tried to take her words to heart.
Later that evening, Joey and Adrian had a quiet movie night in Joey and Carmine's quarters. Three days of having their tops out in the field on a such a dangerous mission was wearing both men thin with worry, evident in the way neither of them really watched the movie they had playing. When the comedy that hadn't helped their moods at all ended, Adrian asked, "Can I crash here on the couch tonight? I just don't want to be alone."
Joey agreed, he had been feeling the same way and it surprised him just how quickly he had gotten used to having another person around.
He dug out a pair of Carmine's sweats to fit Adrian's long legs and a spare toothbrush before taking care of his own bedtime routine. They said their goodnights and Joey slipped between the sheets wearing a t-shirt and boxers and tried to turn his mind off from worrying about Carmine.
The night terror hit Joey about three o'clock in the morning. He was trapped in a nightmare with Borden until he heard Adrian's worried voice calling his name. Slowly Joey awoke in the sweat-soaked bed and tried to calm his panicked breathing. The shivers started almost immediately after he sat up.
Adrian had lived with a soldier long enough to know not to try to touch Joey until he was fully aware of where he was. Quietly he said, "Hey, it was just a dream. You're safe, there's nobody here."
Joey met Adrian's eyes in the low light and nodded. Adrian saw him shivering and quickly grabbed a towel and a dry set of clothes. He gently mopped Joey's face and gave his hair a rub to get the worst of it.
Adrian didn't hesitate or ask permission, he just reached down and peeled off Joey's soaked t-shirt and briskly started rubbing him down to warm him up. Joey's brain was still half-stuck in that nightmare dreamscape and he didn't actually realize what Adrian was doing until he heard Adrian croak out, "What the...?"
Adrian was ghosting his fingers over the scars on Joey's back and forced himself to shift so he could meet Joey's eyes and asked in horrified whisper, "Who did this to you?"
Joey swallowed hard and croaked out, "Major Raymond Borden..."
Joey found himself sharing his story in halting words as Adrian got him into a warm and dry t-shirt and sweatpants.
When he was done telling Adrian everything, Joey didn't know exactly what to expect. It would have broken his heart if Adrian had found him repulsive and tears of relief overwhelmed him when Adrian simply pulled him in and hugged him tightly. It was the best response Adrian could have given.
The two men quickly changed the damp sheets without talking and instead of going back to the couch, Adrian crawled in beside Joey and spooned around him protectively.
As they started to relax, Adrian asked softly, "So is that why you pushed Carmine off at first?"
"Yeah."
"He'll never hurt you, you know. And he'll never let anyone else hurt you either. None of us will."
Joey squeezed the arm Adrian had wrapped around him and whispered, "I know."
"I'm not known for always saying the right thing, but if you ever need to talk, I'll listen."
"Thanks, Adrian. For everything."
They were drifting off to sleep when Adrian whispered one final thing, "We all love you, Joey, you're not alone anymore."
With a little grin playing at the corners of his mouth, Joey fell asleep thinking that for a man supposedly not known for ever saying the right thing, Adrian had found exactly the right words.
They managed to catch a couple of hours of peaceful sleep before having to get up.
---------------
On the middle of the fourth day the Daedalus arrived with its bevy of visiting dignitaries and yet another mountain-sized amount of equipment. Joey was a little nervous about seeing Steven but he very much wanted to at the same time.
Seeing Steven was going to have to wait unfortunately as the Daedalus remained in orbit ready to assist Colonel Sheppard if needed. Joey did snatch glimpses of the visitors though, and he caught one of them, a gorgeous black man about Steven's age in civilian clothes, giving him a thoroughly appreciative look-over from the railing. Joey's flush blossoming under the scrutiny of such an impressive Dom had been a foregone conclusion and it made the Dom grin pleasantly.
While the one visitor's interest felt normal and even a little exciting if Joey were to be honest, one of the other visitors, an Air Force General by the uniform he was wearing, gave Joey a cursory leer that made his blood run cold. Joey had seen the same madness in Borden's eyes and he had to fight back the panic stirring in his gut. Joey quickly headed back to his work area and forced himself to calm down.
---------------
A while later Joey was finishing up his latest parts requisition when Colonel Sheppard and company came in hot. It was chaos in the gate room and there wasn't a person among them not covered in blood. Joey kept out of the way but managed to make eye contact with Carmine who mouthed, "I'm okay."
Joey could also see that Ramon and the rest of the team were also uninjured. He stepped around the corner and radioed Adrian to let him know so he wouldn't worry.
---------------
As soon as he and Corporal James squared away all the equipment, Joey headed back home to their quarters.
---------------
Of all the things that Joey expected to see when he entered their quarters, Carmine sitting on the floor with his weapons spread out around him and maniacally taking apart his sidearm and cleaning it was not on Joey's list.
Carmine was still in his grimy, blood-soaked clothes. He looked up at Joey's arrival, his eyes were full of pain and sadness.
Joey approached and knelt down beside Carmine. He laid a gentle hand on top of Carmine's and asked softly, "What do you need from me? What can I do?"
Carmine gestured to his weapons. "I have to clean them. It's something I do after... It's just something I do."
Joey nodded. "I understand. How about I get you something hot to eat?"
"That'd be good. I'm running on fumes."
Joey gave Carmine's hand a quick squeeze and stood. He headed for their cooling unit and pulled out some of the entrees that Adrian had stockpiled there. He quietly started them heating before moving to their dresser and pulling out clean sweats for Carmine.
Carmine worked wordlessly, letting the familiar motions of stripping and cleaning his weapons settle his mind.
A short while later, Carmine stood and placed his weapons on the small table near the entrance to their quarters. He walked over to the window and opened the door to let the fresh sea breeze air out the smell of spent gunpowder, oil, and blood. He stripped where he stood in that doorway, his eyes never leaving the ocean.
Joey was watching from the other side of the room, he was attentive but giving Carmine the space the other man seemed to need.
He was setting out plates at their dining table when Carmine's voice broke the quiet.
"There was this girl. A Genii. She couldn't have been more than seventeen. She was pretending to be afraid and looking for our help. She put two into one of our guys before we realized she had a weapon tucked in her skirt. She was aiming for Teldy and Colonel Sheppard next. I didn't even hesitate, I just threw my ka-bar and took her out."
Joey approached Carmine and hesitantly laid his hands on the big SEAL's shoulders.
"You did your job. Your protected your team."
"I know. It's just... I'm old enough to be her father. And I can't figure out what kind of father does that to his daughter. Teaches her to kill without honor. It's one thing to raise your kids to be soldiers, it's another to make them stone cold killers with no sense of morality."
"I don't think we'll ever understand the Genii. You did the right thing. You got our people back and you came home to me."
Carmine raised his hands and rested them on top of Joey's.
"Yeah, I did. So what are we eating?"
"Adrian's lemon fake chicken, it's almost hot."
"Cool, I'm just gonna run though the rain locker. I'll be out in a few."
Carmine headed for the shower while Joey finished preparing their meal.
When Carmine came out a few minutes later with a towel slung low on his hips, Joey could see how red his skin was; Carmine had practically par-boiled himself in the shower.
Carmine put on the clothes Joey had laid out for him and stepped over to where Joey was slicing some bread to go with their meal. He gently took the knife out of Joey's hand and turned Joey around to face him.
Carmine leaned in and kissed Joey long and slow and like it was the only thing he wanted to do for the rest of the night.
Carmine finally pulled back with a grin. "Hi."
Joey tried to find working brain cells to reply. "Hi."
"Miss me?"
Joey finally cracked the grin Carmine was looking for. "You have no idea."
"Let's eat and you can tell me all about it."
------------------------------
Part 10
Time Heals index