On the Legitimacy of Hypothetical Dogs
Title: On the Legitimacy of Hypothetical Dogs
Pairing: DdangWook (Ddangkoma and Ryeowook...does that even make any sense)
Characters: Ryeowook, Ddangkoma, Heechul
Genre: Crack, Humor (...Romance?)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Love can be mutual if you’re delusional enough, apparently.
allriseasian’s Prompt: Yesung’s turtle and Ryeowook. “tampons”, “Valentine’s Day”, “my dog is more legit than you”
Ryeowook adoringly cups his lover’s face in his hands, the outside world dead to him as he stares intently into its wise eyes. “I love you so much, Ddang-ah. My love for you, much like your soul, is purer than the glaring white of unused tampons, for only then can it be worthy of your acceptance.”
Ddangkoma flails about slowly, its limbs waving in the air as it is held up by the small human.
“Say,” murmurs Ryeowook, still transfixed by the turtle’s beady gaze, “what shall we do for Valentine’s Day, darling? It’s our first holiday together as a couple, so I want it to be special.”
A door opens and slams shut but fails to disturb Ryeowook from his reverie.
“I’m back!” yells Heechul’s voice, growing in intensity as he marches toward the living room. “Hey! Isn’t anyone going to-oh not again Ryeowook, leave Jongwoon’s turtle alone! For the love of God what are you doing. Stop staring at it it’s getting really creepy-”
“Hyung,” Ryeowook says slowly, “our romance is legitimate. We’re thinking of making this a serious thing, actually.”
Heechul opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before sputtering, “You can’t be serious what the fuck are you doing. My dog is more legit than you.”
“Sure I am, hyung!” Ryeowook replies with a frown. “I’ve always wanted to be a June bride!” A pause. And then: “And you don’t have a dog, what are you talking about?”
“Exactly,” says Heechul, who then stomps off to yell at someone to alleviate his headache.
“…Oh,” says Ryeowook a few minutes later. “Okay.”
Ddangkoma flails harder because it is hungry and frankly quite uncomfortable.
Ryeowook responds by stroking its shell. Slowly.
A/N: I hate allriseasian. So. Much.
Pairing: DdangWook (Ddangkoma and Ryeowook...does that even make any sense)
Characters: Ryeowook, Ddangkoma, Heechul
Genre: Crack, Humor (...Romance?)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Love can be mutual if you’re delusional enough, apparently.
allriseasian’s Prompt: Yesung’s turtle and Ryeowook. “tampons”, “Valentine’s Day”, “my dog is more legit than you”
Ryeowook adoringly cups his lover’s face in his hands, the outside world dead to him as he stares intently into its wise eyes. “I love you so much, Ddang-ah. My love for you, much like your soul, is purer than the glaring white of unused tampons, for only then can it be worthy of your acceptance.”
Ddangkoma flails about slowly, its limbs waving in the air as it is held up by the small human.
“Say,” murmurs Ryeowook, still transfixed by the turtle’s beady gaze, “what shall we do for Valentine’s Day, darling? It’s our first holiday together as a couple, so I want it to be special.”
A door opens and slams shut but fails to disturb Ryeowook from his reverie.
“I’m back!” yells Heechul’s voice, growing in intensity as he marches toward the living room. “Hey! Isn’t anyone going to-oh not again Ryeowook, leave Jongwoon’s turtle alone! For the love of God what are you doing. Stop staring at it it’s getting really creepy-”
“Hyung,” Ryeowook says slowly, “our romance is legitimate. We’re thinking of making this a serious thing, actually.”
Heechul opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before sputtering, “You can’t be serious what the fuck are you doing. My dog is more legit than you.”
“Sure I am, hyung!” Ryeowook replies with a frown. “I’ve always wanted to be a June bride!” A pause. And then: “And you don’t have a dog, what are you talking about?”
“Exactly,” says Heechul, who then stomps off to yell at someone to alleviate his headache.
“…Oh,” says Ryeowook a few minutes later. “Okay.”
Ddangkoma flails harder because it is hungry and frankly quite uncomfortable.
Ryeowook responds by stroking its shell. Slowly.
A/N: I hate allriseasian. So. Much.