Comments | writteninsight: Flat

writteninsight

Flat

Feb 12, 2011 23:20

Title: Flat
Word Count: 747
Author's Notes: Based on a Wednesday night two weeks past, though I have altered a few things for the sake of flow and tension.

( The wind hit me like an overly enthusiastic bear hug when I walked out of the bar. )

Comments 6

(The comment has been removed)

writteninsight February 18 2011, 02:45:36 UTC

Ah, well, that would assume that I had the fortitude to learn from the experience at the time. Sad as it is, I was more preoccupied with the fact that my free networking night had turned into a $50 expense.

Glad you enjoyed the story!

chuck_the_plant February 18 2011, 19:12:29 UTC

What a nice, refreshing story! It's like a breath of fresh air after being stuck in a stuffy room for hours; short, sweet, to the point, but still gets the point across and presents a very real and understandable character.

When I first started reading the story, I wasn't sure if the protagonist was a man or a woman. It seems like you intended this, but in case you didn't, you might want to ad a sentence or two of description about her mood, appearance, or whatever to reveal that she'e female.

I enjoyed it!

writteninsight February 18 2011, 21:05:24 UTC

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

(The comment has been removed)

Re: Hey, I'm your ROAR reader this week :) writteninsight February 23 2011, 02:31:55 UTC

Thank you!

maniccartoonist February 23 2011, 02:23:17 UTC

I love the way that you only hit the details that are most important- how the cold wind made you feel, the anger of the parking ticket, everything worked really well together. Great story!

writteninsight February 23 2011, 02:33:51 UTC

Thank you! It's so good to hear that, because I debated for a long time about what details to include. :)