Happily Ever After (Below the Waist).
I have been away for far too long. Below is my little update. Ha, like anyone cares. But i figure I'll post it anyway. =)
HI.
As of late, my life has been...well it's been interesting.
As of now I am:
A junior in High School
Dating my best friend in the world
A working class citizen
Without means of transportation
Waiting with baited breath of my anual trip to California
Possibly coming down with mono thanks to an act of infidelity with another friend
Trying to make sense of everything going on in Bandown
(I.E. Panic breaking up, Ryan falling victem to the Rock'N'Roll lifestlye)
Trying not to be ungrateful for my less-than-minimum-wage-paying job
or the money owed to me by the county for all the back childcare.
Trying to find a place I fit in with my family
Trying to figure out what the hell I am going to do after High School
Trying not to spend every minute of everyday worrying and or generally thinking about about my boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, shocking I know)
Trying not to beat the crap out of his whore of an ex (who also happens to be one of my ex-best friends)
Grady and I have been dating for about two and a half weeks, And I'm scared to say i'm torn between wanting very much to marry him and breaking up with him (again) tomorrow because I'm completely in love with him and that scares the fuck out of me.
We've been best friends for four years and I've been in love with him for all of them. He scares me. A recovering drug addict and schizophranic anti-social sociopath, I'm not scared he'll hurt me physically, but i'm deffinately scared he's going to die in an insanely short amount of time if he doesn't change his ways. In fact, he's drunk and talking to me as I write this. Fuck I'm crazy about him and that scares me because I'm not one to fall for someone the way I fell for him. And I'm so scared he's going to break my heart. I'm not pretty or skinny, I personally think I'm one of the most annoying people in Michigan, I'm also bitchy as hell and I know he could do better but he completes me and I'm pretty sure I complete him but I'm scared that's not enough, I'm scared because I've had my heart broken by him too many times and I know how to pick myself up and mend myself together but it usually means stopping all contact with him and losing the best person in my life, but whenever I do that, and then ten months down the road we start hanging out again, I fall for him all over again. It's a cycle. A cycle that I don't know how to break.
Really tho? I don't know where we're going to end up. Or what's going to happen to us, I just know that some part of me is always going to be a little bit in love with him. And I know that in one way or another we're always going to be together. I think it's very possible that we end up married someday. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Anyway. That's really waht this post was about I guess. To vent about my asshole best friend/boyfriend.
I think I'm going to go call him now because I love him and he's drunk and he's reallllllly cute when he's drunk. <33
Night.
HI.
As of late, my life has been...well it's been interesting.
As of now I am:
A junior in High School
Dating my best friend in the world
A working class citizen
Without means of transportation
Waiting with baited breath of my anual trip to California
Possibly coming down with mono thanks to an act of infidelity with another friend
Trying to make sense of everything going on in Bandown
(I.E. Panic breaking up, Ryan falling victem to the Rock'N'Roll lifestlye)
Trying not to be ungrateful for my less-than-minimum-wage-paying job
or the money owed to me by the county for all the back childcare.
Trying to find a place I fit in with my family
Trying to figure out what the hell I am going to do after High School
Trying not to spend every minute of everyday worrying and or generally thinking about about my boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, shocking I know)
Trying not to beat the crap out of his whore of an ex (who also happens to be one of my ex-best friends)
Grady and I have been dating for about two and a half weeks, And I'm scared to say i'm torn between wanting very much to marry him and breaking up with him (again) tomorrow because I'm completely in love with him and that scares the fuck out of me.
We've been best friends for four years and I've been in love with him for all of them. He scares me. A recovering drug addict and schizophranic anti-social sociopath, I'm not scared he'll hurt me physically, but i'm deffinately scared he's going to die in an insanely short amount of time if he doesn't change his ways. In fact, he's drunk and talking to me as I write this. Fuck I'm crazy about him and that scares me because I'm not one to fall for someone the way I fell for him. And I'm so scared he's going to break my heart. I'm not pretty or skinny, I personally think I'm one of the most annoying people in Michigan, I'm also bitchy as hell and I know he could do better but he completes me and I'm pretty sure I complete him but I'm scared that's not enough, I'm scared because I've had my heart broken by him too many times and I know how to pick myself up and mend myself together but it usually means stopping all contact with him and losing the best person in my life, but whenever I do that, and then ten months down the road we start hanging out again, I fall for him all over again. It's a cycle. A cycle that I don't know how to break.
Really tho? I don't know where we're going to end up. Or what's going to happen to us, I just know that some part of me is always going to be a little bit in love with him. And I know that in one way or another we're always going to be together. I think it's very possible that we end up married someday. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Anyway. That's really waht this post was about I guess. To vent about my asshole best friend/boyfriend.
I think I'm going to go call him now because I love him and he's drunk and he's reallllllly cute when he's drunk. <33
Night.