(no subject)
why...
initial contact --> anger, annoyance, dont want to deal with it, im happy now
the stand-off communication was so deja vu, bringing back bad feelings and memories
and shit like being affected when he doesnt reply
but after having a few days to get used to the idea and process it i was less revulsed
and then after we decided to meet up but then it turned out he was in sf and we miscommunicated and he was being flirty sigh
or mb not flirty but like playful and teasing
and i was just like sigh
then leading up to actually seeing him on sat, his messages were all trying to be so considerate towards me
then when he told me he got off the bart, feeling my heart race... trying to not think too much and just keep reading but couldn't really focus on what i was reading. feeling nervous.
and then the things he was sharing with me when we were catching up were like
both of his parents getting remarried
smoking with his (newly) stepdad for the first time
and asking about my family
and then paying for my meal.... (why!!!!!!)
and then feeling rly... sad and emotional on my lyft to vic's (and listening to hella emotional songs)
lol and i didnt realize allen would be there. and kat.
and then that photo jas sent??
............jesus fucking christ
sigh
yea i remember hearing someone telling me to have a good trip or something and trying to talk to me
but
was p passed out
ugh im rly annoyed at myself for passing out so fuckin early
would've been fun to be drunk together
and also i rly wanted to dance and play my music
and that would've been fun
with like jia and jas n vic or sth
but then ig he did that
in front of
other ppl
so he must've been p dam drunk
ugh idk
also he's here until like may lmfao
initial contact --> anger, annoyance, dont want to deal with it, im happy now
the stand-off communication was so deja vu, bringing back bad feelings and memories
and shit like being affected when he doesnt reply
but after having a few days to get used to the idea and process it i was less revulsed
and then after we decided to meet up but then it turned out he was in sf and we miscommunicated and he was being flirty sigh
or mb not flirty but like playful and teasing
and i was just like sigh
then leading up to actually seeing him on sat, his messages were all trying to be so considerate towards me
then when he told me he got off the bart, feeling my heart race... trying to not think too much and just keep reading but couldn't really focus on what i was reading. feeling nervous.
and then the things he was sharing with me when we were catching up were like
both of his parents getting remarried
smoking with his (newly) stepdad for the first time
and asking about my family
and then paying for my meal.... (why!!!!!!)
and then feeling rly... sad and emotional on my lyft to vic's (and listening to hella emotional songs)
lol and i didnt realize allen would be there. and kat.
and then that photo jas sent??
............jesus fucking christ
sigh
yea i remember hearing someone telling me to have a good trip or something and trying to talk to me
but
was p passed out
ugh im rly annoyed at myself for passing out so fuckin early
would've been fun to be drunk together
and also i rly wanted to dance and play my music
and that would've been fun
with like jia and jas n vic or sth
but then ig he did that
in front of
other ppl
so he must've been p dam drunk
ugh idk
also he's here until like may lmfao