Christmas Storytime

[wulfboy]

Got Up. Did the last of the shopping. Bought entirely the wrong present for Prof Woody and am kicking myself. Knocked this out. It is not short, I am afraid to say, but my muse was with me touching me gently with his little soft blue paws and would not let me stop until it was done. I'm not sure the theme comes through, but I was trying not to be

Comments

[littleonionz]

Me likes, you got me I thought when he mentions tasting her in the restaurant, I thought 'uhuh that old Ravenous thang', but I likesyour spin I like how your protagonist is quite cold and yet very perceptive. I like the style, it's easy to read and flows nice like. I think you could lose a lot of the desc of Tel as twat and it wouldn't lose owt, but if you dashed it off, I can see why it's all still in. I like the last two lines, they wrap it up nicely. I'm not gonna diss anything you haven't tinkered with; it's like telling a new born to get a wash or something.

[wulfboy]

Mmmm. I know Terry looks like a twat, but that wasn't completely what I was aiming for. I'll have a look over him again and see if I can polish him up a bit.

[wulfboy]

Yeah that paragraph is one i noticed wasn't brilliant. It's a bit too much of the sort of thing I'm bitching about earlier. I need to think about other ways to get that idea of the street cannibals not being devolved or "less" than humans but being evolutionary superior and adapted to living in cities.