Life changing moments
We like to think that life changing moments, those special moments that happen in our lives that cause us to take sudden sharp turns in the path that we tread, are apparent in the decision. That the moment is somehow laden with meaning, and we could not possibly miss the significance even if someone pounded us upside the head with it.
But, I think we're wrong. Not all the time of course, because sometimes we make big decisions, and sometimes we have those life altering epiphanies, but mostly the truly big decisions in life pass unnoticed, and uncommented on.
Why do I feel that way? Well, because I think that some of the biggest decisions we make are not made in the moment. Rather, they are the sum of a very large number of small decisions, so the actual final decision is also small, but because of the cumulative effect of all other decisions, its effect is large. Often with decisions of this type we do not even realize the immensity of the choice we've made until much later, sometimes not even then.
This might seem like a good segue into my "live life intentionally" speech, but it's not. Simply. We do not always see, in fact rarely do we ever see, the impact of our small decisions. The point of the observation is that in retrospect things become much clearer. But, sometimes not even then. We have a tendency to assume that life has always been this way, and will always be this way. We live partially in the near past, noting events of the past week or so, and partially in the future, trying to think of what might be coming for us right now. But, even by living in the moment, we cannot know the impact of every action.
Another kind of decision, though I hesitate to call it that, is the path not taken. The idea that we make choices about the opportunities laid out in front of us and those opportunities have a huge impact on our lives. This is apparent in all sorts of ways. If you can identify a moment a few years ago where making a phone call or two, and saying something that you felt and believed but never really said might drastically change your life, then you have found one of those moments.
Personally, I don't believe in regrets. Not, at least, in the larger picture. In the short term I can regret an action, however small, and wish I had made some different choice. But, I find I am happy with things as they are, and try not to worry too much.
I guess, if I had to sum up what I'm trying to say in one sentence it would be as follows: Don't sweat the big stuff either.
But, I think we're wrong. Not all the time of course, because sometimes we make big decisions, and sometimes we have those life altering epiphanies, but mostly the truly big decisions in life pass unnoticed, and uncommented on.
Why do I feel that way? Well, because I think that some of the biggest decisions we make are not made in the moment. Rather, they are the sum of a very large number of small decisions, so the actual final decision is also small, but because of the cumulative effect of all other decisions, its effect is large. Often with decisions of this type we do not even realize the immensity of the choice we've made until much later, sometimes not even then.
This might seem like a good segue into my "live life intentionally" speech, but it's not. Simply. We do not always see, in fact rarely do we ever see, the impact of our small decisions. The point of the observation is that in retrospect things become much clearer. But, sometimes not even then. We have a tendency to assume that life has always been this way, and will always be this way. We live partially in the near past, noting events of the past week or so, and partially in the future, trying to think of what might be coming for us right now. But, even by living in the moment, we cannot know the impact of every action.
Another kind of decision, though I hesitate to call it that, is the path not taken. The idea that we make choices about the opportunities laid out in front of us and those opportunities have a huge impact on our lives. This is apparent in all sorts of ways. If you can identify a moment a few years ago where making a phone call or two, and saying something that you felt and believed but never really said might drastically change your life, then you have found one of those moments.
Personally, I don't believe in regrets. Not, at least, in the larger picture. In the short term I can regret an action, however small, and wish I had made some different choice. But, I find I am happy with things as they are, and try not to worry too much.
I guess, if I had to sum up what I'm trying to say in one sentence it would be as follows: Don't sweat the big stuff either.