Game On
I love this episode so, so much. One of my favorites of Season 4. I will be taking a break from meta-ing/picspamming for a little over a week so I leave everyone with a classic in the meantime.
There’s a little bit of unusual “shakey-camera” stuff going on. Leo is faking out Toby.
TOBY
A crisis of confidence?
LEO
Yeah.
TOBY
I don't understand.
LEO
I was on the helicopter with him earlier this morning, and I'm telling you he's second guessing himself, he's revising answers in his head...
TOBY
Leo?
LEO
I know.
TOBY
What-what... I don't... When I left him, he was ready. I don't understand. He's ready. You can see it.
LEO
Not this morning.
TOBY
This isn't supposed to happen with you people.
LEO
Christians?
TOBY
Yes. What happened to "steady as she goes"?
LEO
A smart guy said the Presidential elections are won and lost on one square foot of real estate. Up here.
It’s a little bit of a shock to my system hearing about Jed as some insecure, delicate flower who just needs his self-esteem boosted but that’s the song that Leo is singing.
LEO
We've got a two-minute drill right now. I think whatever answers he gives we should just say "That's terrific, Mr. President."
TOBY
Then what's the point of the two-minute drill?
LEO
We got five of them scheduled before tomorrow night. We're using one of them for this.
TOBY
This is crazy. I don't believe this.
Ferocious Sam!
Leo and Toby run into Sam and tell him the plan for the drill just being about positive reinforcement. Sam is making a special trip to see the Horton Wilde campaign after their candidate died. There’s a lot of running into people because then Leo, Sam and Toby run into Josh. Josh is looking for ten word answers for the debate. Then, they run into CJ and the whole gang minus Jed is together. Foreshadowing the teaser joke:
TOBY
You know you've got a ten dollar bill in there on your clipboard.
C.J.
Yeah. I owe it to someone.
Jed gives snappy ten-word answers to CJ and Josh’s debate questions. Then, we get to Toby.
TOBY
Mr. President, this next question is on capital punishment, which you oppose: If your youngest daughter Zoey was raped and murdered, would you not want to see the man responsible put to death?
I’d call this question out of line but Mike Dukakis really was asked this question but it put his wife, Kitty, in the victim position. Besides, Aaron Sorkin has foreshadowing to do re: Zoey.
BARTLET
First of all, it's important to understand the President doesn't make that decision, though he appoints the Supreme Court Justices who do so. What... any... um... All right, I'm not going to say that. I'll just go right to... No, I don't. I think you know that I'm opposed....Let's not do that. I haven't seen any evidence that it's a deterrent, and there are more effective... In my state...
TOBY
Oh, my God.
BARTLET
What?
TOBY
You weren't kidding. What's the matter with you? When I left you... I just mentioned your daughter being murdered, and you're giving us an answer that's not only soporific, it's barely human! Yes, you'd want to see him put to death. You'd want it to be cruel and unusual, which is why it's probably a good idea that fathers of murder victims don't have legal rights in these situations. Now, we're going back to school!
There’s a period of uncomfortable silence before everyone just cracks up. CJ cracks up first and most dramatically which I find incredibly endearing. S4 does get a little over the top with the practical jokes but most of them *are* pretty funny and this is probably my favorite because it’s not only funny, but it’s also symbolic of Jed’s character development, his relationship with Toby and it’s a great instance of the Core Six Characters really bonding before Sam leaves for good.
BARTLET
Let's go-- ten bucks. Crisis of confidence. You did one square foot of real estate.
LEO
Yes, I did.
BARTLET
Ten bucks for you. And you-- You big bear, come to me. I'm going to kiss you right on the mouth.
Toby looks rightfully frightened at that and everyone leaves the Oval Office.
JOSH
Sorry about that. It was the President idea. He bet us you couldn't stay quiet if he gave a bad answer. What?
TOBY
He's ready.
Credits. We've got more Bounce and Sam Seaborn in California.
Sam arrives at Horton Wilde’s campaign headquarters and hilariously, tries to fold a map but gives up and ends up just rolling it into a ball. I’d think that Sam as a rather anal, uber-neat nerd would be an expert at folding maps but this is funnier.
He meets Elsie Snuffin aka Winnie Cooper aka Danica McKellar, math whiz, author of books geared to helping schoolgirls feel confident at acing math and one of the best examples of down-to-earth positive former child actors.
SAM
Hey... William Bailey. Bill Bailey-- I just got that.
ELSIE
You should definitely mention that 'cause he's probably never heard that reference before.
SAM
Okay.
ELSIE
It's Will.
SAM
[as Jimmy Stewart] Merry Christmas, you 'ol Building and Loan.
ELSIE
That's George Bailey.
Anyway, we meet Will Bailey for the first time being all super-competent in running his imploding campaign. He puts on a brave face but it’s clear that he’s quite stressed.
SAM
First things first. I bring the condolences of the White House on your loss. On Mrs. Wilde's loss, I should say. Everybody's. And to tell you ran a strong campaign on your candidate, and you should be proud.
WILL
Thank you.
SAM
Do you know why I came here?
WILL
Even money, it's not to tell me I ran a strong campaign and I should be proud.
SAM
It's not. Though you did, and you should.
WILL
And I will once it's over.
SAM
It's over.
WILL
Nothing I can do about California election laws. The man's name stays on the ballot.
SAM
Yes, but you can't keep campaigning without a candidate.
WILL
It's a campaign of ideas.
SAM
The candidate died.
WILL
But not the ideas. The metaphor alone knocks me down.
Aw, I’m really fond of Sorkin’s idealistic Will Bailey. I missed this guy later on. Will Bailey angsts to Elie about his bow tie. Ties will become a motif in this episode.
SAM
The campaign's become embarrassing to us. It's a national joke.
Sam realizes that he was incredibly rude saying that loudly in the middle of campaign head-quarters.
SAM
I'm sorry about that.
Will has a cute scene with a bunch of young political activists and by young, I mean like nine years old.
WILL
I got a press conference. Sally and the Suffragettes-- what you got?
SALLY
We did the PSA.
WILL
Let me see. Very nice. But do me a favor-- read this for me.
SALLY AND THE SUFFRAGETTES
"It doesn't matter who you vote for. Make sure you vote."
WILL
I like the sentiment, but the thing is I think it does matter who you vote for. What if it said, "No matter who you vote for, make sure you vote." What do you think?
Will departs on a nice but firm note, making his current position clear while also foreshadowing his future position on the President’s staff.
SAM
I'm here for the President.
WILL
I admire the President, Sam. I really do.
SAM
But?
WILL
I don't work for him. Let's go.
CJ and Toby are briefing a bunch of Democratic allies from congress people (including Andi) to Cabinet members on how to handle themselves spinning for the President.
Toby, Andi and CJ leave to chat in the hallway. Toby and Andi have an even-keel but CJ is hilariously hyped up.
TOBY
Bennett's going to spin for Ritchie.
C.J.
I could have told you that was going to happen! Hang on -- no, wait -- I did!
TOBY
I find competitiveness so feminine in tall women.
C.J.
On defense?
TOBY
Yeah, on defense! What the hell...?
C.J.
Don't huckle around with me right now, Phyllis! I got a North Carolina Democrat shilling for Ritchie on defense. I've gotta get a guy. I need a Republican.
TOBY
This is why I'm talking to you. You're going to use Albie Duncan.
C.J.
He'll do it?
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
Duncan?
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
He will?
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
Look at me. He's not a little bit crazy?
TOBY
Albie Duncan?
C.J.
Yeah.
TOBY
No, no, no. A little bit.
C.J.
Toby...
TOBY
He's going to be great. You'll see to it. Andy?
C.J.
I'm crazy about the roundness of your head.
`
LOL. That’s one of my favorite CJ lines. I like Albie Duncan here but it’s in Gone Quiet where he really cracks me up. “I say you lost your boat in the wrong part of the world, Sir.”
Toby and Andi walk and talk and Andi isn’t showing but she does have a moment where she touches her stomach like many pregnant women do. Very nice, subtle acting choice by Kathleen/Bird York.
ANDY
She's nervous. These things are won and lost in the rooms.
TOBY
Not this one.
ANDY
You think so?
TOBY
I know so.
ANDY
Don't get overconfident.
TOBY
That ship's sailed. Hey you want to know something? C.J. doesn't like running.
ANDY
Why not?
TOBY
Believe it or not, because it takes time away from helping. I really like that about her, don't you?
That’s really true about CJ and it’s one of the reasons that I rather appreciated her being the one senior staffer to see the whole administration through from beginning to end. She’s very good at campaigning and spinning and obfuscating the truth but she doesn’t always *want* to be good at that.
ANDY
Yeah.
TOBY
Good. Then marry me again.
They reach Toby’s office.
TOBY
All right. Let's make it interesting. Let's add incentive. The President wins the debate tomorrow night and you marry me again.
ANDY
How about the President wins the debate tomorrow night, he gets elected President again?
TOBY
See, that's the difference between you and me. You're small-time. And that's why the twins are gonna need their father around full-time. 'Cause your thing would be a terrible trait. A terrible family trait to pass on to little... Beatrice and Bluto.
ANDY
I'm naming them Beatrice and Bluto now. I don't care if they're boys or girls. What do you need?
Toby wants Andi to back up Albie Duncan.
TOBY
No, no, no. A little bit. No. Look, he's Albie Duncan. He was in the Eisenhower State Department. He's brilliant, he's respected. He's a Republican. If he's crazy, then I don't want to be sane.
ANDY
You're not.
TOBY
Excellent.
Yup, Toby is not a Republican but he’s brilliant, respected and kind of crazy. Andi departs on an antagonistic note.
ANDY
I'm out of here. Read Gabe Tillman's speech to the Stanford Club last night. You're gonna think you wrote it... only it was somebody better.
Will is absolutely tearing up his press conference. It’s probably why the Season 7 writers decided to make him press secretary and later a congressman. It’s in character for him to be charming, well-spoken, clever and cool-headed in public. I think Will is the best public speaker on the show after Jed, CJ, Santos and Vinick. The final major question and ace-in-the-hole answer?
JUNE WHEELER [REPORTER]
June Wheeler, San Jose Mercury News.
WILL
You're a long way from home.
JUNE
This is a fun story.
WILL
Glad I could help out.
JUNE
Mr. Bailey, we're all sitting here pretending this is a regular press conference, and you're very engaging up there, but your candidate died, so why isn't this all a little preposterous?
WILL
Chuck Webb is a seven-term Congressman who, as chairman of not one but two Commerce sub-committees, has taken money from companies he regulates. He's on the board of the NRA and once challenged another Congressman to a fistfight on the floor, over an amendment to make stalkers submit to background checks before buying AR-15s, AK-57s, Street Sweepers, Mac-10s, Mac-11s. He's joined protests designed to frighten pregnant women.
JUNE
What's your point?
WILL
There are worse things in the world than no longer being alive.
Sam and Will hang out on the beach. I like that there were a bunch of scenes with Sam and Will; it literally feels like passing the torch. The Horton Wilde campaign doesn’t have name to run in the special run-off election if they win and Wilde’s widow, Kay, really wants a name. No Democrat will stand up and do that because the Democratic party is dead in Orange County.
SAM
Do you think you're going to need it?
WILL
No.
SAM
Give her Winston Churchill, what does it matter? All right, it matters. What are you doing?
WILL
Sam, I swear to God, I'm trying to win an election. I think you of all people would be able to recognize it when you saw it.
Sam hands Will his tie- metaphorically passing the character torch. Speaking of ties, Charlie has an amusing little scene where he and some image consultants fuss over what color tie Jed will wear to the debates. It's such a little scene that there are no screencaps. Just as the tie in the Sam/Will scenes represent passing the torch and tying in the new character, Jed’s tie issues represent his character development being “tied” up to the point that he can confidently kick Ritchie’s ass even after his tie is cut.
Great Leo/Jed scene ahead on the portico.
LEO
There's no such thing as too smart. There's nothing you can do that's not going to make me proud of you. Eat 'em up. Game on.
BARTLET
Okay.
This, right here, is the ultimate bromance.
Leo and Jordan have a meeting but first, Josh’s ideas.
LEO
What do you need?
JOSH
Ten words. Let me try two on you. Defense: "I will make America's defenses the strongest in the history of the world."
LEO
In the history of the world? When we say that are we comparing ourselves to the Visigoths adjusted for inflation?
JOSH
Crime: "Some crimes are so heinous, so hateful to American values that we ought to lock prisoners up and throw away the key." Please don't say yes to that one.
LEO
Keep working on the plane. And call me every 30 minutes.
JOSH
You read Gabriel Tillman's speech at the Stanford Club?
LEO
No.
JOSH
Governor of California's got a new writing staff.
LEO
Are you going to call every 30 minutes?
Leo and Jordan battle with the shakey-cam going full tilt.
JORDAN
You stopped a Qumari ship with what Leo? Are we on another crime spree? Why don't you call me before?
LEO
We stopped them with a warning shot from the USS Austin.
JORDAN
Okay.
LEO
An LPD San Antonio class-warship. The weapons were not on their way to the Qumari. They were on their way to the Bahji. If I can't get everyone else on board with the fact Qumar is our enemy surely we can agree that the international Bahji cell is. The weapons were on their way to the Bahji. And the Austin stopped them.
JORDAN
Qumar is leveraging the Mastico.
LEO
We know this.
JORDAN
What do they want?
LEO
Yesterday they want THAAD missile technology. Today they want convicted Bahji operatives let out of US jails. It changes.
JORDAN
You're going to have to give them something.
LEO
No! I don't have to do anything, Jordan. I'm right, they're wrong. They're strong... I'm much stronger…What happens tomorrow morning the President gets on TV and makes his case?
Makes his case for bombing Qumar? I get the sentiment but Leo is a little hot under the collar here.
JORDAN
No, we're not ready to do that. We're nowhere near ready.
LEO
What happens?
JORDAN
Assuming we get around the Boland amendment and any potential violations of domestic law and separation of powers--forgetting international outcry and sticking our Arab allies with an impossible choice of loyalties--six to five and pick 'em you violated the Geneva conventions.
LEO
Since when is it...?
JORDAN
Since Francisco Pizarro.
LEO
Well, if you're going to throw the Swiss in my face.
Jordan is really stepping beyond her original role as the lawyer for the Shareef issue. She’s acting more like a diplomacy/military advisor. I don’t really have a problem with that because politicians really ask lawyers that they personally trust for their opinions on a wide variety of issues. However, I do think that this stuff has some, although not high, code word clearance, making it a little implausible that Jordan would be so highly involved right now.
Jordan wants to bring in the Qumar ambassador. Leo is a little resistant but he says yes.
There’s a cute little bit where Charlie literally pulls Donna aside to panic about the tie for the debates.
CHARLIE
Okay. As I understand it, it was the last debate of the first campaign.
DONNA
Is everything all right?
CHARLIE
No. Moments before the debate started, the President went out to the alley to sneak
a cigarette, only he lit his necktie on fire.
DONNA
Yes.
CHARLIE
And Josh gave him his, and he won and now it's his game tie. And it got ripped at the cleaners by a cleaning solvent we probably shouldn't use anymore.
A similar happens at this debate. His tie is ruined and they rip the tie off of Josh’s neck and then he won. It’s a great way of showing how the Bartlet administration has both grown and gone full circle in this first term.
DONNA
Did you tell him?
CHARLIE
No! But that's a different conversation. My point is doesn't this look an awful lot like the real one?
DONNA
I don't remember what the real one looked like, but where did you get a tie on the plane?
CHARLIE
The neck of the Deputy Labor Secretary but what the hell am I thinking? You can't pull off this kind of fake out. Now it becomes the bad luck tie. Bad things will happen in that tie. No, you've got to face the music and dance alone.
DONNA
You know what? I think maybe you and the President are obsessing on the tie. I'm going to throw this notion out on the stoop and see if the cat licks it up. I think the President's performance in the debate had actually very little to do with the tie.
CHARLIE
Okay. You heard me say it was his game tie right?
DONNA
Yeah.
CJ comes to charm and prepare Duncan.
C.J.
Have you ever seen the Moscow Circus?
ALBIE
No.
C.J.
Then I really have no point of reference to describe what a post-debate spin room is like.
ALBIE
I like you. You're the one I like.
In that respect, Albie Duncan really isn't that eccentric. CJ explains how the spin room works and brings up the old chestnut "Do we prioritize trade or human rights in our relationship with China?"
ALBIE
Trade is essential for human rights. Instead of isolating them we make them live by the same global trading rules as everyone else and gain 1.2 billion consumers for our products and strengthen the forces of reform.
C.J.
That's it. It's that simple.
ALBIE
No, it's not simple, it's incredibly complicated.
C.J.
Sure.
ALBIE
McGarry's boy's over there coming up with greeting cards.
C.J.
Josh?
ALBIE
He's sitting with me, trying to boil down foreign policy into a ten-word statement.
C.J.
No, no, he's the ten-word. And believe me he hates it.
ALBIE
I've been at the State Department for 30 years and there's no right answer for these questions and diplomacy needs all the words it can get its hands on. Plus, he's from Connecticut.
C.J.
Yeah, but the thing is Ritchie's good at it and we just need to show we have that club in our bag. That's all.
ALBIE
What kind of shot do you get with that club?
C.J.
According to the best people who've analyzed specific polling data there may a million undecideds out there who'd come to Bartlet if he displayed one or two qualities that were more like Ritchie. And we chose this. So for 90 seconds tonight the mountain will come to Mohammed and we'll pretend the whole thing never happened.
For Democrats who have to adopt specific qualities of their Republican opponents to be popular, a sassy ten word answer is less embarrassing than going duck hunting with the whole outfit.
CJ in uber-politico mode.
ALBIE
"Free trade is essential for human rights" ... the end of that sentence is "we hope
because nothing else has worked."
C.J.
Okay, but I wouldn't say that tonight.
ALBIE
The President knows Chinese political prisoners are going to be sewing soccer balls
with their teeth whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not, so let's sell them
cheeseburgers.
C.J.
Nor, if it were I, would I say that.
ALBIE
Let me tell you something young lady, 3700 years ago in the Chang dynasty when a king
died, his slaves were beheaded-- the lucky ones. The unlucky one's were buried alive.
Political repression? This is progress.
C.J.
Still, I think the first answer's our winner. So, can I find an attractive aide and
have her bring you some Schweppe's Bitter Lemon?
I know that some people called that sexist of Sorkin but I actually think that conversely, Sorkin is trying to show CJ in an unattractive light here. She's sucking up hard to Duncan so that he doesn't perform his true calling as Assistant Secretary of State and instead, diminishes the US's most potentially dangerous frenemy in China to a ten word answer. I think Sorkin picked China because that really is an incredibly complex and unbelievably dangerous issue for US hegemony and perhaps because of that, it is one of the most over-simplified issues in American foreign policy conversations with the American people.
CJ using Carol as an attractive aid like CJ is "handing out towels at the Playboy Mansion" (Internal Displacement) just emphasizes that fact. No way is Sorkin saying this is how politicians should interact with diploamatic statesmen- it's just what they do. While CJ is definitely a feminist and I love her for it, she has been "guilty" of internalizing sexist attitudes for humor ("There's a whole bunch of women over there. Why don't you ask them whether Geneva's in Switzerland or Oregon?"), political expediency (recommending to remove Evelyn Baker Lang from the short list after her abortion came out) or just because it's seeped into her personal beliefs ("I like that you're tall. Makes me feel more feminine"). Here is a perfect example.
JOSH
Well if we lose because of a ten-word answer, then I'm quitting show business.
TOBY
What do you think?
C.J.
I think it depends who shows up. If it's Uncle Fluffy, we've got problems. If it's the
President, in his last campaign, his last debate, for the last job he'll ever have...
if the President shows up, I think it'll be a sight to see, I mean a sight to see.
What do you think?
TOBY
I think you're going to enjoy yourself tonight.
Aw, Toby knows already. He da man.
Leo starts his meeting with Qumari ambassador Ali Nassir. It's an interesting meeting but come on. We'd all rather be at the debate site, Leo shares our opinion.
LEO
Mr. Nissir, the President starts his debate in four minutes. I won't be there,
obviously. And for me, it's like missing my brother's wedding, right? A big Super
Bowl or something. And I'm mentioning this to underline the importance of this
conversation. You have to turn the boat around. It's the match being held to the fuse.
Aw, I bet Leo feels more broken up about missing Jed's debate than a Super Bowl or even his brother's wedding. For Leo, it's really All.About.Jed. I think Leo's "All.About.Jed" mentality even rivals Jed's "All.About.Jed" mentality. ;-) I kid because I love.
Anyway, Ali Nassir wants to play hardball and deny knowledge of the boat. Leo takes him on the hardball bit.
At the debate site, they're showing the audience and the PA and having Abbey pose for official photographs. It's all very well-designed to get the audience's adrenaline up before anything happens.
BARTLET
I guess what I don't understand is this. Have I ever exhibited any evidence that I'd
be mad if a tie got ruined?
CHARLIE
No, sir.
BARTLET
No, I'm not that guy.
Oh, come on! I love me some Jed Bartlet but he *does* get mad over petty inconveniences many times. He's very human and even more than that, a man who interestingly mixes egocentrism with altruism and who has lived a very privileged, rarefied life and that's reflected in his behavior.
Jed has his adorable and characteristic "good luck" moments with each member of the Fab Four.
A very father/daughter cheery kiss with CJ.
Josh bringing the sport metaphors as he's wont to do.
Sam bringing a seriousness and dare I say, pomposity to "Game On" of all expressions.
Jed turns to have a moment with Abbey but the prodigal son needs his moment. Toby loudly munches on a carrot to get Jed's attention. LOL.
TOBY
I just assumed you wanted to include me.
Past that, Toby has nothing to say. Like I said in The Red Mass, of course, Jed deserves the most credit for winning this debate. But no question, Toby comes in second for credit.
Cut for the most awesome scene in the episode. Abbey cutting Jed's tie. It's a thing of beauty. Although for some reason, Youtube doesn't have the slapstick scene of the staffers trying to get Josh's tie on Jed as they run to the debate. I don't think I can describe the funny and the awesome-sauce camaraderie with words.
C.J.
What happened?
BARTLET
My wife cut it off with scissors.
JOSH
Why?
BARTLET
I don't think we have that kind of time, Josh.
My West Wing peeps are wittier than anybody.
C.J.
No one's done camera test on this tie.
TOBY
She's right. Let's run some.
Then CJ and Toby stumble firs through the door with the rest of the group running in. There should be a GIF of that. Before debating, Jed gives Abbey a little smack on the bottom.
She really enjoyed that. I think between that and Process Stories we learn more about the First Couple's sex life in the election arc than any other time on the show. Maybe I'm sick and depraved but I don't mind. Older people or not, Jed and Abbey are the one of the best and one of the attractive couples in the history of television.
The Master-Debater and the Hair-Do. While we watch the debate, the staffers plus Andi Wyatt file into the Spin Room.
RITCHIE
[on TV] ...we don't need a Federal Department of Education telling us our children have to learn Esperanto, they have to learn Eskimo poetry.
REPORTER MARK
Eskimo poetry?
The reporters are mocking Ritchie even without CJ cajoling them too. This night is going well.
RITCHIE
Let the states decide. Let the communities decide on health care, on education, on lower taxes, not higher taxes. Now, he's going to throw a big word at you-- "unfunded
mandate." If Washington lets the states do it, it's an unfunded mandate. But what he
doesn't like is the federal government losing power. But I call it the ingenuity of the American people.
MODERATOR
President Bartlet, you have 60 seconds for a question and an answer.
BARTLET
Well, first of all, let's clear up a couple of things. "Unfunded mandate" is two words, not one "big word."
They cheer backstage.
BARTLET
There are times when we're fifty states and there are times when we're one
country, and have national needs. And the way I know this is that Florida didn't fight
Germany in World War II or establish civil rights. You think states should do the
governing wall-to-wall. That's a perfectly valid opinion. But your state of Florida got $12.6 billion in federal money last year-- from Nebraskans, and Virginians, and New Yorkers, and Alaskans, with their Eskimo poetry. 12.6 out of a state budget of $50
billion, and I'm supposed to be using this time for a question, so here it is: Can we
have it back, please?
Jed kicks Ritchie' ass of course, but I also bet that he could beat Santos and Vinick both at debates. The whole Spin Room cheers even those supposedly non-biased reporters. I didn't *hate* the Season 7 debate with a fiery passion like most fans but no question that this is a brilliant episode and that was a mediocre to poor episode. One reason is that Game On has a diversity of storylines and we get to see the staffers react. Another reason is that we're invested in this debate, not based on who had the better answer on off-shore oil drilling, but in Jed's development as a human being. Season 7 was constructed as a horse-race which is great and I loved that campaign more than Bartlet versus Ritche. But Bartlet's second-term campaign is a character study and this debate is the story's satisfying and wonderful denouement.
Classic CJ/Toby shot.
C.J.
It's not going to be Uncle Fluffy.
TOBY
No.
Jed is still kicking ass in Act 4.
"Ginger, get the popcorn!"
RITCHIE
...and the partisan bickering. Now, I want people to work together in this great
country. And that's what I did in Florida -- I brought people together -- and that's
what I'll do as your President. End the log jam, end the gridlock, and bring Republicans together with Democrats, 'cause Americans are tired of partisan politics.
MODERATOR
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Actually, what you've done in Florida is bring the right together with the far right.
And I don't think Americans are tired of partisan politics; I think they're tired of
hearing career politicians diss partisan politics to get a gig. I've tried it before,
they ain't buying it. That's okay, though. That's okay, though, 'cause partisan
politics is good. Partisan politics is what the founders had in mind. It guarantees
that the minority opinion is heard, and as a lifelong possessor of minority opinions,
I appreciate it. But if you're troubled by it, Governor, you should know, in this
campaign, you've used the word "liberal" seventy-four times in one day. It was yesterday.
TOBY
[to Josh] I'm not sure I can watch anymore. No, wait, I can. I can.
Back to the Qumari boat issue.
LEO
Yes, and you have the results of joint U.S, U.K., and Qumari search and rescue
operations, that detail the tragic loss at sea. Yet your intelligence services seem
ready to tell the world that it was Israel.
NISSIR
A state that sanctions covert assassination.
LEO
Of terrorists. Are you saying Mr. Shareef was one of them?
JORDAN
Excuse me, Mr. Ambassador. Leo?
JORDAN
You, you got to turn the boat around. You're going to be at war.
LEO
I can't play games with these people anymore. I can't do it anymore. Ben Yosef gave me
the medal of David, and ten hours later he was dead. I can't pretend Qumar's our quirky little ally whose culture it's important to be tolerant of. They're not wearing wooden shoes. I was a soldier. I flew fighters over the DMZ. It was incredibly dangerous. What did I do that for? What am I handing to the next guy and to my kid?
You know, I really hear that. Sometimes this show got over-the-top with Islamophobia and I called that out in Night Five and Stirred but this is totally legitimate.
JORDAN
Turn the boat around. Do that for the next guy, do that for Mallory and do that for the President. He's busy right now.
Leo watches Jed on TV talk about education and he softens. It's a great small but important moment.
NISSIR
Mr. McGarry, I think we are both men, and we both know there is a charade being enacted here. I understand Western politics, and I understand President Bartlet is unable to admit Israel's complicity in the death of the Sultan's brother during a close election. So perhaps we could...
Leo laughs.
NISSIR
Did I say something funny?
LEO
You think the President's afraid that if he admitted complicity in Shareef's death,
he would lose votes in this country? To sweep all fifty states, the President would
only need to do two things-- blow the Sultan's brains out in Times Square, then walk
across the street to Nathan's and buy a hot dog. Mr. Ambassador, you are going to turn
the Mastico around. You are going to cease and desist any disinformation campaign that
links the death of Shareef to Israel. And sometime next year, the Sultan is going to
propose a Middle East peace plan -- the Qumar plan -- and win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Make your phone call. I'll be waiting.
Over the top and false? Hells yeah! However a big part of diplomacy is playing the part of the uber-bad ass to intimidate people with words because it's a lot better than intimidating with weapons. I could see how this could be the garnish on top of the US's more decisive clout that resolved the situation.
NISSIR
He's a little hot under the collar, is he not?
JORDAN
Excuse me, I have a meeting of Godless infidels next door.
Aw, that's the end of Bad Ass!Jordan. The rest of the time we see her is purely as a romantic interest before she fades away.
Josh is resolute, sexy and he looks a little hot and uncomfortable in the likely overheated spin room.
This the Big Moment.
MODERATOR
Governor Ritchie, many economists have stated that the tax cut, which is centrepiece
of your economic agenda, could actually harm the economy. Is now really the time to
cut taxes?
RITCHIE
You bet it is. We need to cut taxes for one reason-- the American people know how to
spend their money better than the federal government does.
MODERATOR
Mr. President, your rebutal.
BARTLET
There it is.
REPORTER MARK
What the hell?
C.J.
He's got it.
Yet, another instance of CJ knowing Jed better than anyone except Abbey, Leo and *maybe* Toby.
BARTLET
That's the ten-word answer my staff's been looking for for two weeks. There it
is. Ten-word answers can kill you in political campaigns. They're the tip of the sword. Here's my question: What are the next ten words of your answer? Your taxes are too high? So are mine. Give me the next ten words. How are we going to do it? Give me ten after that, I'll drop out of the race right now. Every once in a while... every once in a while, there's a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong, but those days almost always include body counts. Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that's way too big for ten words. I'm the President of the United States, not the President of the people who agree with me. And by the way, if the left has a problem with that, they should vote for somebody else.
When ascribing credit to the characters for the Super Important Election Changing Debate in The Red Mass, I totally forgot about this CJ moment.
C.J.
[to Toby, Josh, Donna, Sam, Carol and Andy.] I'm going to make a bold suggestion, but
hear me out. Let's not spin. Let's leave the room. We'll use the experts, but nobody
from the campaign, nobody from the White House, and definitely not us.
JOSH
Why?
C.J.
There's nothing left to do here, and it's inelegant. It's the punch Ali never gave
Foreman when he was going down.
TOBY
Absolutely.
JOSH
All right, just a statement. The President's on his way to Washington to get back to
work.
SAM
And there'll be a lot of drinking on the plane. I don't think that should be included
in the statement.
C.J.
No. Good heads-up.
I wouldn't call it the game changer. Jed just won. However many a campaign has sunk because of obnoxious cockiness.
The Moscow Circus.
ALBIE
Trade with China is essential for human rights. By engaging China and making them by
the same global trading rules as everyone else, we gain 1.2 billion consumers for our
products, and we strengthen the forces of freedom, and the President knows this.
C.J.
Mr. Secretary?
ALBIE
Uh, I'm sorry, Miss Cregg, do you need me?
C.J.
I have a question. Isn't there a decent chance you and the President are wrong?
ALBIE
I'm sorry?
C.J.
I mean, doesn't he also know that Chinese political dissidents are going to be sewing
soccer balls together with their teeth whether or we sell them cheeseburgers or not?
I mention this because the President just reminded us that complexity isn't a vice. You're the one I like, too.
Candid Camera.
RITCHIE
It's over.
BARTLET
You'll be back.
I think the Hair Do has been humbled.
Getting ready for the classic Candidates Make Phony Victory Poses with Their Families After the Debate.
Meanwhile, at a delightful looking (seriously, it's youthful while having a beachy classy feel while not being douchey) Orange County bar, one character on his way out and one character on his way in sit.
WILL
I thought he was going to have to fall all over himself trying to be genial.
SAM
So did we. But then, we were convinced by polling that said he was going to be seen
as arrogant no matter what performance he gave in the debate. And then, that morning
at 3:10, my phone rings, and it's Toby Ziegler. He says, "Don't you get it? It's a gift that they're irreversibly convinced that he's arrogant 'cause now he can be." If your guy's seen that way, you might as well knock some bodies down with it.
WILL
You don't fly with the team?
SAM
Not this time. I had to return the rental car; that's why I was glad to get together
again. One-way charges on rental cars are insane. I think if everybody drove one way,
it'd all work out in the wash. What do you think?
WILL
I think every rental car in America would be at the Grand Canyon and the Tropicana.
We get a little bit of backstory on Will because this ain't no one-off character running a losing campaign. We've got his "Dorkiest Air Force Reserve Pilot Ever!" ass for awhile, whether you like it or not.
WILL
Several members of my family worked at the NATO headquarters.
SAM
You're not Thomas Bailey's grandson by any chance, are you?
WILL
I'm his son. I'm the youngest.
SAM
Hmm. That had to have been a nice Career Day. "Hello, I'm Will's dad. I'm Supreme
Commander, NATO Allied Forces." Not a lot of kids took your lunch money, right?
SAM
It's embarrassing, Will.
WILL
There's a campaign being waged here, and I'm not embarrassed by it. There are things
being talked about -- things you believe in, things the White House believes in --
and they're only gonna be talked about in a blowout, and you know it. And you know
there's no glory in it, and you still come here twice and tell me my guy's a joke.
That my people are embarrassing. How many Democrats told you to get out of the way
for John Hoynes? The bandwagon was in Texas, and the boys were in Nashua, and how
Democrats told you it was embarrassing? I'm not kidding, Sam. How many?
SAM
All of them.
WILL
That's right.
Aw, I love that moment. You feel like the heroic underdog if you're actually in the fight. However it does make sense that once the Bartleteers got into the White House and were The Man instead of the underdog, they'd have less understanding for seemingly embarrassing but important races. Aaron Sorkin and Josh Malina really did their best to make Will Bailey so lovable that he fit in the unbelievably tight, familial to the point of being cliquey inner circle.
We then find out that Will is the big speechwriter for Tillman, to really make it clear that he's going to take Sam's job.
WILL
You've ghosted for senators, movie stars, I think the King of Belgium one time. Do you
say anything?
SAM
No.
WILL
Why?
SAM
Speechwriters don't do that.
WILL
Yeah.
SAM
Okay, I'll just say that it was very good, and a number of people think so, and leave
it there. Except to say that the jokes worked, too. I don't know who wrote them, maybe
the King of Belgium, but I know it wasn't the Governor of California.
WILL
You see that girl over there?
SAM
That's the one I thought was your assistant.
WILL
Her name is Elsie Snuffin.
SAM
What a great name.
WILL
Isn't it?
SAM
Why'd you tell me that?
WILL
She wrote the jokes. Anyway, you should know about her.
SAM
Where'd you find her?
WILL
She was the 11th man on a ten-man writing staff for a sitcom. They weren't using her
stuff 'cause it was smarter than the show, but she didn't know that.
Here's some of Sorkin's preoccupation with the plight of Hollywood TV writers being too smart for everyone and the show. Here's the big moment:
SAM
All right. Thank you for the beer and for the lively conversation. Listen.. if you
can't find a Democrat, tells Mrs. Wilde... tell Kay that I'll do it.
WILL
Are you kidding?
SAM
Tell her I'm a magna cum laude graduate of Princeton and editor of the Duke Law Review. Tell her I've worked for Congressmen and the DCCC. I have seven years at Gage Whitney, and for the last four I've served as Deputy Communications Director and Senior Counsel. Tell her I grew up two streets from here.
Sam? You can't just humbly make the symbolic gestures? Sheesh!
In true "About to be the Candidate" mode, Sam thanks the young Horton Wilde staffers. Yes, he was just suggesting that they end the campaign and everything that these young, fresh idealistic faces have been working for five minutes ago but I'd say that Sam's big (and as it turns out, sort of painful) gesture equips him to act as a representative of the successful Leader of the Democratic Party and make these kids' day.
To make the purpose of the scene quite clear through metaphor, Sam passes over the torch...I mean tie literally.
WILL
Don't forget your necktie.
SAM
Keep it.
There’s a little bit of unusual “shakey-camera” stuff going on. Leo is faking out Toby.
TOBY
A crisis of confidence?
LEO
Yeah.
TOBY
I don't understand.
LEO
I was on the helicopter with him earlier this morning, and I'm telling you he's second guessing himself, he's revising answers in his head...
TOBY
Leo?
LEO
I know.
TOBY
What-what... I don't... When I left him, he was ready. I don't understand. He's ready. You can see it.
LEO
Not this morning.
TOBY
This isn't supposed to happen with you people.
LEO
Christians?
TOBY
Yes. What happened to "steady as she goes"?
LEO
A smart guy said the Presidential elections are won and lost on one square foot of real estate. Up here.
It’s a little bit of a shock to my system hearing about Jed as some insecure, delicate flower who just needs his self-esteem boosted but that’s the song that Leo is singing.
LEO
We've got a two-minute drill right now. I think whatever answers he gives we should just say "That's terrific, Mr. President."
TOBY
Then what's the point of the two-minute drill?
LEO
We got five of them scheduled before tomorrow night. We're using one of them for this.
TOBY
This is crazy. I don't believe this.
Ferocious Sam!
Leo and Toby run into Sam and tell him the plan for the drill just being about positive reinforcement. Sam is making a special trip to see the Horton Wilde campaign after their candidate died. There’s a lot of running into people because then Leo, Sam and Toby run into Josh. Josh is looking for ten word answers for the debate. Then, they run into CJ and the whole gang minus Jed is together. Foreshadowing the teaser joke:
TOBY
You know you've got a ten dollar bill in there on your clipboard.
C.J.
Yeah. I owe it to someone.
Jed gives snappy ten-word answers to CJ and Josh’s debate questions. Then, we get to Toby.
TOBY
Mr. President, this next question is on capital punishment, which you oppose: If your youngest daughter Zoey was raped and murdered, would you not want to see the man responsible put to death?
I’d call this question out of line but Mike Dukakis really was asked this question but it put his wife, Kitty, in the victim position. Besides, Aaron Sorkin has foreshadowing to do re: Zoey.
BARTLET
First of all, it's important to understand the President doesn't make that decision, though he appoints the Supreme Court Justices who do so. What... any... um... All right, I'm not going to say that. I'll just go right to... No, I don't. I think you know that I'm opposed....Let's not do that. I haven't seen any evidence that it's a deterrent, and there are more effective... In my state...
TOBY
Oh, my God.
BARTLET
What?
TOBY
You weren't kidding. What's the matter with you? When I left you... I just mentioned your daughter being murdered, and you're giving us an answer that's not only soporific, it's barely human! Yes, you'd want to see him put to death. You'd want it to be cruel and unusual, which is why it's probably a good idea that fathers of murder victims don't have legal rights in these situations. Now, we're going back to school!
There’s a period of uncomfortable silence before everyone just cracks up. CJ cracks up first and most dramatically which I find incredibly endearing. S4 does get a little over the top with the practical jokes but most of them *are* pretty funny and this is probably my favorite because it’s not only funny, but it’s also symbolic of Jed’s character development, his relationship with Toby and it’s a great instance of the Core Six Characters really bonding before Sam leaves for good.
BARTLET
Let's go-- ten bucks. Crisis of confidence. You did one square foot of real estate.
LEO
Yes, I did.
BARTLET
Ten bucks for you. And you-- You big bear, come to me. I'm going to kiss you right on the mouth.
Toby looks rightfully frightened at that and everyone leaves the Oval Office.
JOSH
Sorry about that. It was the President idea. He bet us you couldn't stay quiet if he gave a bad answer. What?
TOBY
He's ready.
Credits. We've got more Bounce and Sam Seaborn in California.
Sam arrives at Horton Wilde’s campaign headquarters and hilariously, tries to fold a map but gives up and ends up just rolling it into a ball. I’d think that Sam as a rather anal, uber-neat nerd would be an expert at folding maps but this is funnier.
He meets Elsie Snuffin aka Winnie Cooper aka Danica McKellar, math whiz, author of books geared to helping schoolgirls feel confident at acing math and one of the best examples of down-to-earth positive former child actors.
SAM
Hey... William Bailey. Bill Bailey-- I just got that.
ELSIE
You should definitely mention that 'cause he's probably never heard that reference before.
SAM
Okay.
ELSIE
It's Will.
SAM
[as Jimmy Stewart] Merry Christmas, you 'ol Building and Loan.
ELSIE
That's George Bailey.
Anyway, we meet Will Bailey for the first time being all super-competent in running his imploding campaign. He puts on a brave face but it’s clear that he’s quite stressed.
SAM
First things first. I bring the condolences of the White House on your loss. On Mrs. Wilde's loss, I should say. Everybody's. And to tell you ran a strong campaign on your candidate, and you should be proud.
WILL
Thank you.
SAM
Do you know why I came here?
WILL
Even money, it's not to tell me I ran a strong campaign and I should be proud.
SAM
It's not. Though you did, and you should.
WILL
And I will once it's over.
SAM
It's over.
WILL
Nothing I can do about California election laws. The man's name stays on the ballot.
SAM
Yes, but you can't keep campaigning without a candidate.
WILL
It's a campaign of ideas.
SAM
The candidate died.
WILL
But not the ideas. The metaphor alone knocks me down.
Aw, I’m really fond of Sorkin’s idealistic Will Bailey. I missed this guy later on. Will Bailey angsts to Elie about his bow tie. Ties will become a motif in this episode.
SAM
The campaign's become embarrassing to us. It's a national joke.
Sam realizes that he was incredibly rude saying that loudly in the middle of campaign head-quarters.
SAM
I'm sorry about that.
Will has a cute scene with a bunch of young political activists and by young, I mean like nine years old.
WILL
I got a press conference. Sally and the Suffragettes-- what you got?
SALLY
We did the PSA.
WILL
Let me see. Very nice. But do me a favor-- read this for me.
SALLY AND THE SUFFRAGETTES
"It doesn't matter who you vote for. Make sure you vote."
WILL
I like the sentiment, but the thing is I think it does matter who you vote for. What if it said, "No matter who you vote for, make sure you vote." What do you think?
Will departs on a nice but firm note, making his current position clear while also foreshadowing his future position on the President’s staff.
SAM
I'm here for the President.
WILL
I admire the President, Sam. I really do.
SAM
But?
WILL
I don't work for him. Let's go.
CJ and Toby are briefing a bunch of Democratic allies from congress people (including Andi) to Cabinet members on how to handle themselves spinning for the President.
Toby, Andi and CJ leave to chat in the hallway. Toby and Andi have an even-keel but CJ is hilariously hyped up.
TOBY
Bennett's going to spin for Ritchie.
C.J.
I could have told you that was going to happen! Hang on -- no, wait -- I did!
TOBY
I find competitiveness so feminine in tall women.
C.J.
On defense?
TOBY
Yeah, on defense! What the hell...?
C.J.
Don't huckle around with me right now, Phyllis! I got a North Carolina Democrat shilling for Ritchie on defense. I've gotta get a guy. I need a Republican.
TOBY
This is why I'm talking to you. You're going to use Albie Duncan.
C.J.
He'll do it?
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
Duncan?
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
He will?
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
Look at me. He's not a little bit crazy?
TOBY
Albie Duncan?
C.J.
Yeah.
TOBY
No, no, no. A little bit.
C.J.
Toby...
TOBY
He's going to be great. You'll see to it. Andy?
C.J.
I'm crazy about the roundness of your head.
`
LOL. That’s one of my favorite CJ lines. I like Albie Duncan here but it’s in Gone Quiet where he really cracks me up. “I say you lost your boat in the wrong part of the world, Sir.”
Toby and Andi walk and talk and Andi isn’t showing but she does have a moment where she touches her stomach like many pregnant women do. Very nice, subtle acting choice by Kathleen/Bird York.
ANDY
She's nervous. These things are won and lost in the rooms.
TOBY
Not this one.
ANDY
You think so?
TOBY
I know so.
ANDY
Don't get overconfident.
TOBY
That ship's sailed. Hey you want to know something? C.J. doesn't like running.
ANDY
Why not?
TOBY
Believe it or not, because it takes time away from helping. I really like that about her, don't you?
That’s really true about CJ and it’s one of the reasons that I rather appreciated her being the one senior staffer to see the whole administration through from beginning to end. She’s very good at campaigning and spinning and obfuscating the truth but she doesn’t always *want* to be good at that.
ANDY
Yeah.
TOBY
Good. Then marry me again.
They reach Toby’s office.
TOBY
All right. Let's make it interesting. Let's add incentive. The President wins the debate tomorrow night and you marry me again.
ANDY
How about the President wins the debate tomorrow night, he gets elected President again?
TOBY
See, that's the difference between you and me. You're small-time. And that's why the twins are gonna need their father around full-time. 'Cause your thing would be a terrible trait. A terrible family trait to pass on to little... Beatrice and Bluto.
ANDY
I'm naming them Beatrice and Bluto now. I don't care if they're boys or girls. What do you need?
Toby wants Andi to back up Albie Duncan.
TOBY
No, no, no. A little bit. No. Look, he's Albie Duncan. He was in the Eisenhower State Department. He's brilliant, he's respected. He's a Republican. If he's crazy, then I don't want to be sane.
ANDY
You're not.
TOBY
Excellent.
Yup, Toby is not a Republican but he’s brilliant, respected and kind of crazy. Andi departs on an antagonistic note.
ANDY
I'm out of here. Read Gabe Tillman's speech to the Stanford Club last night. You're gonna think you wrote it... only it was somebody better.
Will is absolutely tearing up his press conference. It’s probably why the Season 7 writers decided to make him press secretary and later a congressman. It’s in character for him to be charming, well-spoken, clever and cool-headed in public. I think Will is the best public speaker on the show after Jed, CJ, Santos and Vinick. The final major question and ace-in-the-hole answer?
JUNE WHEELER [REPORTER]
June Wheeler, San Jose Mercury News.
WILL
You're a long way from home.
JUNE
This is a fun story.
WILL
Glad I could help out.
JUNE
Mr. Bailey, we're all sitting here pretending this is a regular press conference, and you're very engaging up there, but your candidate died, so why isn't this all a little preposterous?
WILL
Chuck Webb is a seven-term Congressman who, as chairman of not one but two Commerce sub-committees, has taken money from companies he regulates. He's on the board of the NRA and once challenged another Congressman to a fistfight on the floor, over an amendment to make stalkers submit to background checks before buying AR-15s, AK-57s, Street Sweepers, Mac-10s, Mac-11s. He's joined protests designed to frighten pregnant women.
JUNE
What's your point?
WILL
There are worse things in the world than no longer being alive.
Sam and Will hang out on the beach. I like that there were a bunch of scenes with Sam and Will; it literally feels like passing the torch. The Horton Wilde campaign doesn’t have name to run in the special run-off election if they win and Wilde’s widow, Kay, really wants a name. No Democrat will stand up and do that because the Democratic party is dead in Orange County.
SAM
Do you think you're going to need it?
WILL
No.
SAM
Give her Winston Churchill, what does it matter? All right, it matters. What are you doing?
WILL
Sam, I swear to God, I'm trying to win an election. I think you of all people would be able to recognize it when you saw it.
Sam hands Will his tie- metaphorically passing the character torch. Speaking of ties, Charlie has an amusing little scene where he and some image consultants fuss over what color tie Jed will wear to the debates. It's such a little scene that there are no screencaps. Just as the tie in the Sam/Will scenes represent passing the torch and tying in the new character, Jed’s tie issues represent his character development being “tied” up to the point that he can confidently kick Ritchie’s ass even after his tie is cut.
Great Leo/Jed scene ahead on the portico.
LEO
There's no such thing as too smart. There's nothing you can do that's not going to make me proud of you. Eat 'em up. Game on.
BARTLET
Okay.
This, right here, is the ultimate bromance.
Leo and Jordan have a meeting but first, Josh’s ideas.
LEO
What do you need?
JOSH
Ten words. Let me try two on you. Defense: "I will make America's defenses the strongest in the history of the world."
LEO
In the history of the world? When we say that are we comparing ourselves to the Visigoths adjusted for inflation?
JOSH
Crime: "Some crimes are so heinous, so hateful to American values that we ought to lock prisoners up and throw away the key." Please don't say yes to that one.
LEO
Keep working on the plane. And call me every 30 minutes.
JOSH
You read Gabriel Tillman's speech at the Stanford Club?
LEO
No.
JOSH
Governor of California's got a new writing staff.
LEO
Are you going to call every 30 minutes?
Leo and Jordan battle with the shakey-cam going full tilt.
JORDAN
You stopped a Qumari ship with what Leo? Are we on another crime spree? Why don't you call me before?
LEO
We stopped them with a warning shot from the USS Austin.
JORDAN
Okay.
LEO
An LPD San Antonio class-warship. The weapons were not on their way to the Qumari. They were on their way to the Bahji. If I can't get everyone else on board with the fact Qumar is our enemy surely we can agree that the international Bahji cell is. The weapons were on their way to the Bahji. And the Austin stopped them.
JORDAN
Qumar is leveraging the Mastico.
LEO
We know this.
JORDAN
What do they want?
LEO
Yesterday they want THAAD missile technology. Today they want convicted Bahji operatives let out of US jails. It changes.
JORDAN
You're going to have to give them something.
LEO
No! I don't have to do anything, Jordan. I'm right, they're wrong. They're strong... I'm much stronger…What happens tomorrow morning the President gets on TV and makes his case?
Makes his case for bombing Qumar? I get the sentiment but Leo is a little hot under the collar here.
JORDAN
No, we're not ready to do that. We're nowhere near ready.
LEO
What happens?
JORDAN
Assuming we get around the Boland amendment and any potential violations of domestic law and separation of powers--forgetting international outcry and sticking our Arab allies with an impossible choice of loyalties--six to five and pick 'em you violated the Geneva conventions.
LEO
Since when is it...?
JORDAN
Since Francisco Pizarro.
LEO
Well, if you're going to throw the Swiss in my face.
Jordan is really stepping beyond her original role as the lawyer for the Shareef issue. She’s acting more like a diplomacy/military advisor. I don’t really have a problem with that because politicians really ask lawyers that they personally trust for their opinions on a wide variety of issues. However, I do think that this stuff has some, although not high, code word clearance, making it a little implausible that Jordan would be so highly involved right now.
Jordan wants to bring in the Qumar ambassador. Leo is a little resistant but he says yes.
There’s a cute little bit where Charlie literally pulls Donna aside to panic about the tie for the debates.
CHARLIE
Okay. As I understand it, it was the last debate of the first campaign.
DONNA
Is everything all right?
CHARLIE
No. Moments before the debate started, the President went out to the alley to sneak
a cigarette, only he lit his necktie on fire.
DONNA
Yes.
CHARLIE
And Josh gave him his, and he won and now it's his game tie. And it got ripped at the cleaners by a cleaning solvent we probably shouldn't use anymore.
A similar happens at this debate. His tie is ruined and they rip the tie off of Josh’s neck and then he won. It’s a great way of showing how the Bartlet administration has both grown and gone full circle in this first term.
DONNA
Did you tell him?
CHARLIE
No! But that's a different conversation. My point is doesn't this look an awful lot like the real one?
DONNA
I don't remember what the real one looked like, but where did you get a tie on the plane?
CHARLIE
The neck of the Deputy Labor Secretary but what the hell am I thinking? You can't pull off this kind of fake out. Now it becomes the bad luck tie. Bad things will happen in that tie. No, you've got to face the music and dance alone.
DONNA
You know what? I think maybe you and the President are obsessing on the tie. I'm going to throw this notion out on the stoop and see if the cat licks it up. I think the President's performance in the debate had actually very little to do with the tie.
CHARLIE
Okay. You heard me say it was his game tie right?
DONNA
Yeah.
CJ comes to charm and prepare Duncan.
C.J.
Have you ever seen the Moscow Circus?
ALBIE
No.
C.J.
Then I really have no point of reference to describe what a post-debate spin room is like.
ALBIE
I like you. You're the one I like.
In that respect, Albie Duncan really isn't that eccentric. CJ explains how the spin room works and brings up the old chestnut "Do we prioritize trade or human rights in our relationship with China?"
ALBIE
Trade is essential for human rights. Instead of isolating them we make them live by the same global trading rules as everyone else and gain 1.2 billion consumers for our products and strengthen the forces of reform.
C.J.
That's it. It's that simple.
ALBIE
No, it's not simple, it's incredibly complicated.
C.J.
Sure.
ALBIE
McGarry's boy's over there coming up with greeting cards.
C.J.
Josh?
ALBIE
He's sitting with me, trying to boil down foreign policy into a ten-word statement.
C.J.
No, no, he's the ten-word. And believe me he hates it.
ALBIE
I've been at the State Department for 30 years and there's no right answer for these questions and diplomacy needs all the words it can get its hands on. Plus, he's from Connecticut.
C.J.
Yeah, but the thing is Ritchie's good at it and we just need to show we have that club in our bag. That's all.
ALBIE
What kind of shot do you get with that club?
C.J.
According to the best people who've analyzed specific polling data there may a million undecideds out there who'd come to Bartlet if he displayed one or two qualities that were more like Ritchie. And we chose this. So for 90 seconds tonight the mountain will come to Mohammed and we'll pretend the whole thing never happened.
For Democrats who have to adopt specific qualities of their Republican opponents to be popular, a sassy ten word answer is less embarrassing than going duck hunting with the whole outfit.
CJ in uber-politico mode.
ALBIE
"Free trade is essential for human rights" ... the end of that sentence is "we hope
because nothing else has worked."
C.J.
Okay, but I wouldn't say that tonight.
ALBIE
The President knows Chinese political prisoners are going to be sewing soccer balls
with their teeth whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not, so let's sell them
cheeseburgers.
C.J.
Nor, if it were I, would I say that.
ALBIE
Let me tell you something young lady, 3700 years ago in the Chang dynasty when a king
died, his slaves were beheaded-- the lucky ones. The unlucky one's were buried alive.
Political repression? This is progress.
C.J.
Still, I think the first answer's our winner. So, can I find an attractive aide and
have her bring you some Schweppe's Bitter Lemon?
I know that some people called that sexist of Sorkin but I actually think that conversely, Sorkin is trying to show CJ in an unattractive light here. She's sucking up hard to Duncan so that he doesn't perform his true calling as Assistant Secretary of State and instead, diminishes the US's most potentially dangerous frenemy in China to a ten word answer. I think Sorkin picked China because that really is an incredibly complex and unbelievably dangerous issue for US hegemony and perhaps because of that, it is one of the most over-simplified issues in American foreign policy conversations with the American people.
CJ using Carol as an attractive aid like CJ is "handing out towels at the Playboy Mansion" (Internal Displacement) just emphasizes that fact. No way is Sorkin saying this is how politicians should interact with diploamatic statesmen- it's just what they do. While CJ is definitely a feminist and I love her for it, she has been "guilty" of internalizing sexist attitudes for humor ("There's a whole bunch of women over there. Why don't you ask them whether Geneva's in Switzerland or Oregon?"), political expediency (recommending to remove Evelyn Baker Lang from the short list after her abortion came out) or just because it's seeped into her personal beliefs ("I like that you're tall. Makes me feel more feminine"). Here is a perfect example.
JOSH
Well if we lose because of a ten-word answer, then I'm quitting show business.
TOBY
What do you think?
C.J.
I think it depends who shows up. If it's Uncle Fluffy, we've got problems. If it's the
President, in his last campaign, his last debate, for the last job he'll ever have...
if the President shows up, I think it'll be a sight to see, I mean a sight to see.
What do you think?
TOBY
I think you're going to enjoy yourself tonight.
Aw, Toby knows already. He da man.
Leo starts his meeting with Qumari ambassador Ali Nassir. It's an interesting meeting but come on. We'd all rather be at the debate site, Leo shares our opinion.
LEO
Mr. Nissir, the President starts his debate in four minutes. I won't be there,
obviously. And for me, it's like missing my brother's wedding, right? A big Super
Bowl or something. And I'm mentioning this to underline the importance of this
conversation. You have to turn the boat around. It's the match being held to the fuse.
Aw, I bet Leo feels more broken up about missing Jed's debate than a Super Bowl or even his brother's wedding. For Leo, it's really All.About.Jed. I think Leo's "All.About.Jed" mentality even rivals Jed's "All.About.Jed" mentality. ;-) I kid because I love.
Anyway, Ali Nassir wants to play hardball and deny knowledge of the boat. Leo takes him on the hardball bit.
At the debate site, they're showing the audience and the PA and having Abbey pose for official photographs. It's all very well-designed to get the audience's adrenaline up before anything happens.
BARTLET
I guess what I don't understand is this. Have I ever exhibited any evidence that I'd
be mad if a tie got ruined?
CHARLIE
No, sir.
BARTLET
No, I'm not that guy.
Oh, come on! I love me some Jed Bartlet but he *does* get mad over petty inconveniences many times. He's very human and even more than that, a man who interestingly mixes egocentrism with altruism and who has lived a very privileged, rarefied life and that's reflected in his behavior.
Jed has his adorable and characteristic "good luck" moments with each member of the Fab Four.
A very father/daughter cheery kiss with CJ.
Josh bringing the sport metaphors as he's wont to do.
Sam bringing a seriousness and dare I say, pomposity to "Game On" of all expressions.
Jed turns to have a moment with Abbey but the prodigal son needs his moment. Toby loudly munches on a carrot to get Jed's attention. LOL.
TOBY
I just assumed you wanted to include me.
Past that, Toby has nothing to say. Like I said in The Red Mass, of course, Jed deserves the most credit for winning this debate. But no question, Toby comes in second for credit.
Click to viewCut for the most awesome scene in the episode. Abbey cutting Jed's tie. It's a thing of beauty. Although for some reason, Youtube doesn't have the slapstick scene of the staffers trying to get Josh's tie on Jed as they run to the debate. I don't think I can describe the funny and the awesome-sauce camaraderie with words.
C.J.
What happened?
BARTLET
My wife cut it off with scissors.
JOSH
Why?
BARTLET
I don't think we have that kind of time, Josh.
My West Wing peeps are wittier than anybody.
C.J.
No one's done camera test on this tie.
TOBY
She's right. Let's run some.
Then CJ and Toby stumble firs through the door with the rest of the group running in. There should be a GIF of that. Before debating, Jed gives Abbey a little smack on the bottom.
She really enjoyed that. I think between that and Process Stories we learn more about the First Couple's sex life in the election arc than any other time on the show. Maybe I'm sick and depraved but I don't mind. Older people or not, Jed and Abbey are the one of the best and one of the attractive couples in the history of television.
The Master-Debater and the Hair-Do. While we watch the debate, the staffers plus Andi Wyatt file into the Spin Room.
RITCHIE
[on TV] ...we don't need a Federal Department of Education telling us our children have to learn Esperanto, they have to learn Eskimo poetry.
REPORTER MARK
Eskimo poetry?
The reporters are mocking Ritchie even without CJ cajoling them too. This night is going well.
RITCHIE
Let the states decide. Let the communities decide on health care, on education, on lower taxes, not higher taxes. Now, he's going to throw a big word at you-- "unfunded
mandate." If Washington lets the states do it, it's an unfunded mandate. But what he
doesn't like is the federal government losing power. But I call it the ingenuity of the American people.
MODERATOR
President Bartlet, you have 60 seconds for a question and an answer.
BARTLET
Well, first of all, let's clear up a couple of things. "Unfunded mandate" is two words, not one "big word."
They cheer backstage.
BARTLET
There are times when we're fifty states and there are times when we're one
country, and have national needs. And the way I know this is that Florida didn't fight
Germany in World War II or establish civil rights. You think states should do the
governing wall-to-wall. That's a perfectly valid opinion. But your state of Florida got $12.6 billion in federal money last year-- from Nebraskans, and Virginians, and New Yorkers, and Alaskans, with their Eskimo poetry. 12.6 out of a state budget of $50
billion, and I'm supposed to be using this time for a question, so here it is: Can we
have it back, please?
Jed kicks Ritchie' ass of course, but I also bet that he could beat Santos and Vinick both at debates. The whole Spin Room cheers even those supposedly non-biased reporters. I didn't *hate* the Season 7 debate with a fiery passion like most fans but no question that this is a brilliant episode and that was a mediocre to poor episode. One reason is that Game On has a diversity of storylines and we get to see the staffers react. Another reason is that we're invested in this debate, not based on who had the better answer on off-shore oil drilling, but in Jed's development as a human being. Season 7 was constructed as a horse-race which is great and I loved that campaign more than Bartlet versus Ritche. But Bartlet's second-term campaign is a character study and this debate is the story's satisfying and wonderful denouement.
Classic CJ/Toby shot.
C.J.
It's not going to be Uncle Fluffy.
TOBY
No.
Jed is still kicking ass in Act 4.
"Ginger, get the popcorn!"
RITCHIE
...and the partisan bickering. Now, I want people to work together in this great
country. And that's what I did in Florida -- I brought people together -- and that's
what I'll do as your President. End the log jam, end the gridlock, and bring Republicans together with Democrats, 'cause Americans are tired of partisan politics.
MODERATOR
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Actually, what you've done in Florida is bring the right together with the far right.
And I don't think Americans are tired of partisan politics; I think they're tired of
hearing career politicians diss partisan politics to get a gig. I've tried it before,
they ain't buying it. That's okay, though. That's okay, though, 'cause partisan
politics is good. Partisan politics is what the founders had in mind. It guarantees
that the minority opinion is heard, and as a lifelong possessor of minority opinions,
I appreciate it. But if you're troubled by it, Governor, you should know, in this
campaign, you've used the word "liberal" seventy-four times in one day. It was yesterday.
TOBY
[to Josh] I'm not sure I can watch anymore. No, wait, I can. I can.
Back to the Qumari boat issue.
LEO
Yes, and you have the results of joint U.S, U.K., and Qumari search and rescue
operations, that detail the tragic loss at sea. Yet your intelligence services seem
ready to tell the world that it was Israel.
NISSIR
A state that sanctions covert assassination.
LEO
Of terrorists. Are you saying Mr. Shareef was one of them?
JORDAN
Excuse me, Mr. Ambassador. Leo?
JORDAN
You, you got to turn the boat around. You're going to be at war.
LEO
I can't play games with these people anymore. I can't do it anymore. Ben Yosef gave me
the medal of David, and ten hours later he was dead. I can't pretend Qumar's our quirky little ally whose culture it's important to be tolerant of. They're not wearing wooden shoes. I was a soldier. I flew fighters over the DMZ. It was incredibly dangerous. What did I do that for? What am I handing to the next guy and to my kid?
You know, I really hear that. Sometimes this show got over-the-top with Islamophobia and I called that out in Night Five and Stirred but this is totally legitimate.
JORDAN
Turn the boat around. Do that for the next guy, do that for Mallory and do that for the President. He's busy right now.
Leo watches Jed on TV talk about education and he softens. It's a great small but important moment.
NISSIR
Mr. McGarry, I think we are both men, and we both know there is a charade being enacted here. I understand Western politics, and I understand President Bartlet is unable to admit Israel's complicity in the death of the Sultan's brother during a close election. So perhaps we could...
Leo laughs.
NISSIR
Did I say something funny?
LEO
You think the President's afraid that if he admitted complicity in Shareef's death,
he would lose votes in this country? To sweep all fifty states, the President would
only need to do two things-- blow the Sultan's brains out in Times Square, then walk
across the street to Nathan's and buy a hot dog. Mr. Ambassador, you are going to turn
the Mastico around. You are going to cease and desist any disinformation campaign that
links the death of Shareef to Israel. And sometime next year, the Sultan is going to
propose a Middle East peace plan -- the Qumar plan -- and win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Make your phone call. I'll be waiting.
Over the top and false? Hells yeah! However a big part of diplomacy is playing the part of the uber-bad ass to intimidate people with words because it's a lot better than intimidating with weapons. I could see how this could be the garnish on top of the US's more decisive clout that resolved the situation.
NISSIR
He's a little hot under the collar, is he not?
JORDAN
Excuse me, I have a meeting of Godless infidels next door.
Aw, that's the end of Bad Ass!Jordan. The rest of the time we see her is purely as a romantic interest before she fades away.
Josh is resolute, sexy and he looks a little hot and uncomfortable in the likely overheated spin room.
This the Big Moment.
MODERATOR
Governor Ritchie, many economists have stated that the tax cut, which is centrepiece
of your economic agenda, could actually harm the economy. Is now really the time to
cut taxes?
RITCHIE
You bet it is. We need to cut taxes for one reason-- the American people know how to
spend their money better than the federal government does.
MODERATOR
Mr. President, your rebutal.
BARTLET
There it is.
REPORTER MARK
What the hell?
C.J.
He's got it.
Yet, another instance of CJ knowing Jed better than anyone except Abbey, Leo and *maybe* Toby.
BARTLET
That's the ten-word answer my staff's been looking for for two weeks. There it
is. Ten-word answers can kill you in political campaigns. They're the tip of the sword. Here's my question: What are the next ten words of your answer? Your taxes are too high? So are mine. Give me the next ten words. How are we going to do it? Give me ten after that, I'll drop out of the race right now. Every once in a while... every once in a while, there's a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong, but those days almost always include body counts. Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that's way too big for ten words. I'm the President of the United States, not the President of the people who agree with me. And by the way, if the left has a problem with that, they should vote for somebody else.
When ascribing credit to the characters for the Super Important Election Changing Debate in The Red Mass, I totally forgot about this CJ moment.
C.J.
[to Toby, Josh, Donna, Sam, Carol and Andy.] I'm going to make a bold suggestion, but
hear me out. Let's not spin. Let's leave the room. We'll use the experts, but nobody
from the campaign, nobody from the White House, and definitely not us.
JOSH
Why?
C.J.
There's nothing left to do here, and it's inelegant. It's the punch Ali never gave
Foreman when he was going down.
TOBY
Absolutely.
JOSH
All right, just a statement. The President's on his way to Washington to get back to
work.
SAM
And there'll be a lot of drinking on the plane. I don't think that should be included
in the statement.
C.J.
No. Good heads-up.
I wouldn't call it the game changer. Jed just won. However many a campaign has sunk because of obnoxious cockiness.
The Moscow Circus.
ALBIE
Trade with China is essential for human rights. By engaging China and making them by
the same global trading rules as everyone else, we gain 1.2 billion consumers for our
products, and we strengthen the forces of freedom, and the President knows this.
C.J.
Mr. Secretary?
ALBIE
Uh, I'm sorry, Miss Cregg, do you need me?
C.J.
I have a question. Isn't there a decent chance you and the President are wrong?
ALBIE
I'm sorry?
C.J.
I mean, doesn't he also know that Chinese political dissidents are going to be sewing
soccer balls together with their teeth whether or we sell them cheeseburgers or not?
I mention this because the President just reminded us that complexity isn't a vice. You're the one I like, too.
Candid Camera.
RITCHIE
It's over.
BARTLET
You'll be back.
I think the Hair Do has been humbled.
Getting ready for the classic Candidates Make Phony Victory Poses with Their Families After the Debate.
Meanwhile, at a delightful looking (seriously, it's youthful while having a beachy classy feel while not being douchey) Orange County bar, one character on his way out and one character on his way in sit.
WILL
I thought he was going to have to fall all over himself trying to be genial.
SAM
So did we. But then, we were convinced by polling that said he was going to be seen
as arrogant no matter what performance he gave in the debate. And then, that morning
at 3:10, my phone rings, and it's Toby Ziegler. He says, "Don't you get it? It's a gift that they're irreversibly convinced that he's arrogant 'cause now he can be." If your guy's seen that way, you might as well knock some bodies down with it.
WILL
You don't fly with the team?
SAM
Not this time. I had to return the rental car; that's why I was glad to get together
again. One-way charges on rental cars are insane. I think if everybody drove one way,
it'd all work out in the wash. What do you think?
WILL
I think every rental car in America would be at the Grand Canyon and the Tropicana.
We get a little bit of backstory on Will because this ain't no one-off character running a losing campaign. We've got his "Dorkiest Air Force Reserve Pilot Ever!" ass for awhile, whether you like it or not.
WILL
Several members of my family worked at the NATO headquarters.
SAM
You're not Thomas Bailey's grandson by any chance, are you?
WILL
I'm his son. I'm the youngest.
SAM
Hmm. That had to have been a nice Career Day. "Hello, I'm Will's dad. I'm Supreme
Commander, NATO Allied Forces." Not a lot of kids took your lunch money, right?
SAM
It's embarrassing, Will.
WILL
There's a campaign being waged here, and I'm not embarrassed by it. There are things
being talked about -- things you believe in, things the White House believes in --
and they're only gonna be talked about in a blowout, and you know it. And you know
there's no glory in it, and you still come here twice and tell me my guy's a joke.
That my people are embarrassing. How many Democrats told you to get out of the way
for John Hoynes? The bandwagon was in Texas, and the boys were in Nashua, and how
Democrats told you it was embarrassing? I'm not kidding, Sam. How many?
SAM
All of them.
WILL
That's right.
Aw, I love that moment. You feel like the heroic underdog if you're actually in the fight. However it does make sense that once the Bartleteers got into the White House and were The Man instead of the underdog, they'd have less understanding for seemingly embarrassing but important races. Aaron Sorkin and Josh Malina really did their best to make Will Bailey so lovable that he fit in the unbelievably tight, familial to the point of being cliquey inner circle.
We then find out that Will is the big speechwriter for Tillman, to really make it clear that he's going to take Sam's job.
WILL
You've ghosted for senators, movie stars, I think the King of Belgium one time. Do you
say anything?
SAM
No.
WILL
Why?
SAM
Speechwriters don't do that.
WILL
Yeah.
SAM
Okay, I'll just say that it was very good, and a number of people think so, and leave
it there. Except to say that the jokes worked, too. I don't know who wrote them, maybe
the King of Belgium, but I know it wasn't the Governor of California.
WILL
You see that girl over there?
SAM
That's the one I thought was your assistant.
WILL
Her name is Elsie Snuffin.
SAM
What a great name.
WILL
Isn't it?
SAM
Why'd you tell me that?
WILL
She wrote the jokes. Anyway, you should know about her.
SAM
Where'd you find her?
WILL
She was the 11th man on a ten-man writing staff for a sitcom. They weren't using her
stuff 'cause it was smarter than the show, but she didn't know that.
Here's some of Sorkin's preoccupation with the plight of Hollywood TV writers being too smart for everyone and the show. Here's the big moment:
SAM
All right. Thank you for the beer and for the lively conversation. Listen.. if you
can't find a Democrat, tells Mrs. Wilde... tell Kay that I'll do it.
WILL
Are you kidding?
SAM
Tell her I'm a magna cum laude graduate of Princeton and editor of the Duke Law Review. Tell her I've worked for Congressmen and the DCCC. I have seven years at Gage Whitney, and for the last four I've served as Deputy Communications Director and Senior Counsel. Tell her I grew up two streets from here.
Sam? You can't just humbly make the symbolic gestures? Sheesh!
In true "About to be the Candidate" mode, Sam thanks the young Horton Wilde staffers. Yes, he was just suggesting that they end the campaign and everything that these young, fresh idealistic faces have been working for five minutes ago but I'd say that Sam's big (and as it turns out, sort of painful) gesture equips him to act as a representative of the successful Leader of the Democratic Party and make these kids' day.
To make the purpose of the scene quite clear through metaphor, Sam passes over the torch...I mean tie literally.
WILL
Don't forget your necktie.
SAM
Keep it.