control *just for You*
So far I've not found anything of the sort. I have been doing some site searching and I've posted a question on a couple of groups I belong to. What I consistently come up with is the idea of rituals and assignments. These seem to be very useful in long distance relationships and in a lot of ways what we have is a long distance relationship. We are fortunate in that we live close enough to allow frequent visits. I'd love to be able to visit every weekend but even if I had the extra money and Maal was ok with the idea, I have work commitments and I think eventually even I'd get tired of 8 hours on the road every weekend.
But a ldr doesn't easily lend itself to all the elements of control a live-in one does. That's not to say you couldn't (or I wouldn't), just that it isn't nearly as easy. One example that comes to mind is controlling what time I go to bed. I do need some help with that, but it would be really hard for you when I'm not with you. If you gave me a bed time, I would do my best to keep it. And I wouldn't lie if I didn't. It's just not something you could really enforce easily though. Other things like asking permission (or guidance) each day for something would quickly become an annoyance for you, especially since I sleep as late as possible and typically get up and ready for work in a daze.
As far as I'm concerned, when we are together, you have as much control over me as you want, over everything. When I get up, what I wear, when or what I eat, where I am at any given time, etc etc etc. While it would be awesome to plan one weekend that way, total control over everything, I don't expect you to control all those things, all the time. But a little control here and there can make a huge difference, you know that. Grabbing my hair to pull my head back and growl an order in my ear takes only a few seconds more than simply telling me to do something, but it is the difference between giving me a chance to happily do some small service for you and making me weak kneed and wet while I do it.
Personally I think rituals and/or rules-both daily when apart and when we are together-has a lot of potential....for example, I think a greeting ritual when I arrive (or when appropriate as soon after) would help me feel more submissive and help us to connect after being apart for weeks. It could be something as simple as kneeling and putting my head in your lap for a few minutes or for you to put my cuffs on me or as complicated as stopping at a certain point, crawling to you, assuming a particular position, waiting for you to acknowledge me and so on....you get the idea.
Another idea is to possibly combine a ritual with an assignment and require I do something for you every day when we are apart. A daily post or email. Something silly like standing on one foot when I brush my teeth. My online Dom required me to masturbate for 3 minutes every morning before getting out of bed - no orgasm though :( so that kinda sucked. Or rules like wearing a certain color on Tuesdays. No panties on Thursdays. No cheeseburgers without asking permission first. Drinking X number of glasses of water a day. Wearing my pleasure balls when I go grocery shopping...the only limit is imagination. It could be silly, sexy, practical or anything you wanted it to be. I'm sure if this was something you were interested in I could come up with more examples, but you seem pretty creative so I'm sure you could think of even more than I could :)
A slightly different approach would be to have a contract. I've seen everything from simple blanket statements of complete obedience to ones that spell out a dozen or more rules and expectations. I've gathered a few examples if you would like to look at them.
Am I on the right track here? Is this the kind of thing you are looking for? Or do I need to go in a different direction? Let me know if I'm getting warm with this or if I need to go back to the drawing board.
And let me know if this is something you would prefer to keep for your eyes only or not.
But a ldr doesn't easily lend itself to all the elements of control a live-in one does. That's not to say you couldn't (or I wouldn't), just that it isn't nearly as easy. One example that comes to mind is controlling what time I go to bed. I do need some help with that, but it would be really hard for you when I'm not with you. If you gave me a bed time, I would do my best to keep it. And I wouldn't lie if I didn't. It's just not something you could really enforce easily though. Other things like asking permission (or guidance) each day for something would quickly become an annoyance for you, especially since I sleep as late as possible and typically get up and ready for work in a daze.
As far as I'm concerned, when we are together, you have as much control over me as you want, over everything. When I get up, what I wear, when or what I eat, where I am at any given time, etc etc etc. While it would be awesome to plan one weekend that way, total control over everything, I don't expect you to control all those things, all the time. But a little control here and there can make a huge difference, you know that. Grabbing my hair to pull my head back and growl an order in my ear takes only a few seconds more than simply telling me to do something, but it is the difference between giving me a chance to happily do some small service for you and making me weak kneed and wet while I do it.
Personally I think rituals and/or rules-both daily when apart and when we are together-has a lot of potential....for example, I think a greeting ritual when I arrive (or when appropriate as soon after) would help me feel more submissive and help us to connect after being apart for weeks. It could be something as simple as kneeling and putting my head in your lap for a few minutes or for you to put my cuffs on me or as complicated as stopping at a certain point, crawling to you, assuming a particular position, waiting for you to acknowledge me and so on....you get the idea.
Another idea is to possibly combine a ritual with an assignment and require I do something for you every day when we are apart. A daily post or email. Something silly like standing on one foot when I brush my teeth. My online Dom required me to masturbate for 3 minutes every morning before getting out of bed - no orgasm though :( so that kinda sucked. Or rules like wearing a certain color on Tuesdays. No panties on Thursdays. No cheeseburgers without asking permission first. Drinking X number of glasses of water a day. Wearing my pleasure balls when I go grocery shopping...the only limit is imagination. It could be silly, sexy, practical or anything you wanted it to be. I'm sure if this was something you were interested in I could come up with more examples, but you seem pretty creative so I'm sure you could think of even more than I could :)
A slightly different approach would be to have a contract. I've seen everything from simple blanket statements of complete obedience to ones that spell out a dozen or more rules and expectations. I've gathered a few examples if you would like to look at them.
Am I on the right track here? Is this the kind of thing you are looking for? Or do I need to go in a different direction? Let me know if I'm getting warm with this or if I need to go back to the drawing board.
And let me know if this is something you would prefer to keep for your eyes only or not.