Envoys - Chapter 5
Cass was quiet on the hop back to the ship. Actually, if he were being honest with himself, she’d been quiet for a while. Ever since he’d returned to their seating area, heated and annoyed from his search for Farlo and Sacha. Ever since her conversation with Myram.
It had taken him far too long to find the boy and his uncle in the marketplace. Farlo took Myram’s instruction on his escort duties seriously, and ended up commanding a flurry of market action as he told everyone around him that he was selecting only the best for a new envoy.
Maddeningly, it had taken even more time to assure everyone involved that what they’d already presented was more than enough for one envoy - and that surely it would be better to get fewer refreshments to her sooner, rather than a sampling of the whole market later.
Her silence hadn’t been as noticeable when they were all together, of course. Farlo had done as Myram predicted, running the conversation with the self-absorbed importance only a small child can muster.
They ate, they drank and they listened to Farlo’s chatter. When the food was done, they departed in a flurry of hugs and promises to see one another again. The whole time, Cass smiled. But she’d been quiet.
When they’d gotten back to the hopper, he’d asked her about her conversation with Myram, but she’d only given him a vague answer about pleasantries.
However, he could well-imagine that there was more to the conversation, since Myram did not appear to be a woman who believed in discretion. The way she’d introduced Cass to some of the cultural differences was nearly as bald as Seul’s approach.
In his experience, some Earth envoys were initially uncomfortable with the meaning behind the jumpsuits. For all he knew, Cass was experiencing exactly that.
It would be bad if she was. He’d been surprised by how well she’d taken his honesty on Dau, before they’d gone to the market. It was the first time he’d let his frustration show, and she’d given him compassion and something that felt like it might be the beginnings of friendship. He’d hate to think that something like this might impact that feeling.
Again, it seemed as though everything he tried with her backfired in some way. The more time he spent attempting to make amends, the worse things got. With his help, she’d be fortunate if she went mental this five-day instead of next.
He glanced over at her. She was staring at the ship and the blackness beyond it, though he didn’t think she was actually looking at anything. But she didn’t seem mad. In fact, she had a small smile on her face. He dared to hope that Myram truly had only been pleasant while he was away.
This pleasant thought sustained him through the rest of the flight, past the docking procedure and out onto the ship. It sustained him all the way to the end of the docking bay, where Seul met them. Her eyes were like glaciers and she appeared to be vibrating with rage.
“Where. Have. You. Been.” She spoke each word separately, leaving a dramatic pause between each. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest and she stood in the middle of the huge bay door, as though her presence alone would be enough to prevent them walking right past her.
Her indignation was so well calculated, and so obviously planned to the last syllable that it was almost comical. He heard a snort of laughter and thought for a panicked moment he’d lost his ability to play the social game. Then he realized he hadn’t been the source.
He looked to his left, where Cass was standing. Her head was down, chin nearly buried in her chest. Her hands were folded and her shoulders bowed. The only thing ruining her perfect pose of contrition was the fact that her shoulders were shaking with laughter.
That did it for him. In moments, the two of them were a mess of snorting, giggling and half-started sentences.
“Did you-“
“And then she-“
“And I thought-“
“And you-“
Cass gave a sloppy salute and collapsed against him in another rush of giggles.
It might be understandable that Cass temporarily forgot about Seul. It was unforgivable that he did.
If Seul had been angry before, she was incandescent with rage now. With a hiss, she crossed the space between them and clamped her hand down on his arm. Her fingers dug in deeply, and he thought for a moment she might try violence. But then she eased her grip with no change of expression, though she still did not let go.
“I asked you a question, Grayson.” He could hear the threat in her tone. I will break you, boy.
Knowing she was capable it, he sobered immediately.
“I took Cass to Dau-prime. I thought she might benefit from some fresh air and from some exposure to the culture.”
“You took her where? You imbecile.” The word dripped from her reddened lips with contempt. “How dare you take her onto a planet without my permission?”
Grayson bowed, arms crossed on his chest. “With respect, you agreed to allow me to work with Cass in the manner I thought best. “
“That’s because I never imagined you’d be stupid enough to take her off the ship. You could be charged. In fact, I should have you charged. I can’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t.”
Cass’s voice cut across the tension. “There’s no need. It’s absolutely right that Grayson took me to the market. I found it most instructive. As a result of the trip, I learned a great deal of useful information. It helped me arrive at what I feel is a very good decision. I’ve decided to join the Sisterhood.”
Grayson felt the blood rush out of his extremities, leaving him in a cold sweat. Myram. Of all the things she could have said to Cass, this was the worst.
Seul’s eyes drooped to half-closed, shielding her brilliant green eyes. Her entire posture relaxed and her expression closed. “I see. This is most unexpected and I believe, unprecedented. I must look into this.” She smiled at Cass, a painfully false expression. “Please allow me to continue to be your hostess while this matter is resolved.
Grayson,” her eyes pinned him. “If you would be so good as to return Cass to her quarters. I expect to see you shortly thereafter.”
She did not wait for their response. She walked away, leaving the now-quiet pair alone in the docking bay.
He suddenly realized he was seeing something new from Seul. Something dangerous. Seul playing at angry was one thing. Seul actually enraged was another.
------------------------------------------------------------
He didn’t even try to explain the enormity of the trouble he was in to Cass. He didn’t think he could impress upon her the potential consequences to him, and besides, it wasn’t her problem even if he could. He’d done it all of his own free will, and if he’d been thinking instead of reacting, he could have anticipated Seul’s response. Deep down, he wondered if he had anticipated it, and decided the consequences were worth it.
So he kept things light and friendly on the way back to her quarters. She went along with it, something for which he was grateful. Whatever else had happened with Myram at the market, it didn’t appear to be impacting their growing friendship.
Yes - despite Seul’s anger, despite the seemingly hopeless situation he’d put them in, and the potential ramifications of his actions for his own future - he was absurdly pleased with the day’s events.
Her reaction to the little boy at the market had been astounding. The youngster had disarmed her so utterly that he’d had visions of her with a child of her own. Impossible of course, but she’d been so sweet and loving, it had moved him.
He began to understand more about why Seul wanted her. Cass would make a singular envoy, if she could feel about others even a fraction of what she demonstrated for an anonymous boy.
If only he could persuade Seul that he was still the appropriate person to work with her.
Thinking in terms of damage control, he made his way to face Seul’s wrath.
------------------------------------------------------------------
By her count, it had been three days since Cass had seen Grayson or Seul - and she was both thoroughly irritated and completely bored. As near as she could tell, she’d already exhausted every possible avenue of self-entertainment.
She’d reviewed her own memories enough times that the gaps didn’t seem quite so alarming. She thought of every interaction she’d had with anyone since waking up, and was satisfied that most of what she’d seen appeared genuine.
On the other hand, she was certain she didn’t have the whole truth of anything, and she was increasingly aware of her own ignorance on many matters. Bu she did feel as though she was getting more comfortable with the idea of being somewhere and someone else.
Part of that comfort came from her trip to the market, and the conversation she had there. For all it seemed as though they’d had only moments to talk by themselves, Myram had been a fount of very useful information. That conversation made her realize, quite simply, that she had more options than Seul presented her with.
Still, she could have been more strategic about her announcement. But Seul’s gestures of rage had caught her off guard, rendering the woman less dangerous. Cass’s mouth seized the chance before her mind could disagree.
More importantly, it was one thing to announce that she wanted to join the Sisterhood, but it was another thing entirely to make it happen. She’d need to ask Seul to allow her transport down to the planet, and Cass wasn’t foolish enough to assume she’d get that cooperation.
No matter what name Seul put on her confinement here, it was definitely confinement. More frighteningly to Cass is that she really didn’t have anywhere else to go or any means of getting there if she wanted to. Everything she had, including where she slept, appeared to belong to Seul. She was beholden and captive. She could neither demand nor bargain for anything.
And so she stayed where she was. Food arrived in the hands of bland-faced men in lavender suits - never the same one twice. They always brought large amounts, always with a wide variety of tastes and textures.
She’d eaten for fun, she’d eaten to see how much she could tuck away, she’d eaten out of boredom. She’d eaten until the idea of chewing seemed to exhausting to contemplate.
She went through all the clothing in the wardrobe, tried every possible variety of fold and layer she could think of, including the ridiculous.
She applied and removed unguents and cosmetics so many times, it was only through the miracles of the sanitation tube that she hadn’t lost a layer of skin.
She’d played with the screen in her quarters until she could manipulate the view across all ten planets. She still hadn’t memorized the names or understood their proximity to each other, but she could make them spin like tops on the viewscreen.
She’d left her room several times, only to end up hopelessly lost, required an escort back from another of the interchangeable lavender-suited men. If that someone didn’t arrive soon, she was going to start talking to walls. Her enforced isolation did drive home one important point to her.
She couldn’t even ask for a note to be passed to Myram, though she’d tried with several of her keepers. None of them would engage her in conversation. They merely informed her that someone would be with her soon.
Even if they’d agreed, she couldn’t be sure of her reception. Myram, like everyone else, seemed to think that the role of envoy was something good and important. Even the term envoy seemed to imply some kind of civic duty - like having sex for the good of the people.
The ridiculousness of the thought had given her mental fodder for several hours. She tried, and mostly failed, to imagine herself going from planet to planet, like an angel of mercy. Or more accurately, an angel of mercy sex. Doing it for the good of the civilization.
She admitted to herself that the idea seemed slightly less ludicrous after her visit to the market. Perhaps that had been Grayson’s plan. The courtesy of the men around her, the obvious appreciation they had for women - it was, if she were being honest, somewhat flattering.
And when she thought of Farlo, and other children like Farlo, who grew up without women, it brought tears to her eyes. Myram had indicated that educating children was part of her life, which overall sounded like a pretty good way to live life.
If children like that were the focus of life in the Sisterhood, she could certainly imagine herself being almost happy in it.
But for all the information Myram had offered about the Sisterhood and their lives, she behaved as though she was merely providing Cass with details about her new life. Cass had no certainty that Myram would help her gain access to the Sisterhood or that she’d be welcome even if Myram herself was willing.
So there she was, stuck and held at the same time. Her only ally hadn’t been to see her in several days, and she worried that he might never be able to return. She hadn’t been oblivious to the undertones of the exchange between Seul and Grayson. Seul might have been playing with a dramatic flair, but it was plain that her power was very real - over Grayson as well as over Cass herself.
So Cass, exercising what she suspected to be unusual patience, waited and watched, and quietly spun the planets on her view screen.
---------------------------------
For his part, Grayson hadn’t been away from Cass by choice. He hadn’t left the ship, though Seul had all but thrown him out twice. Instead, he spent the better part of the first day arguing with her. The second one he spent avoiding her.
He’d given every argument, persuasion and logical explanation he could muster, and still, she wouldn’t budge. Seul would not allow him access to the envoy.
The more time elapsed, the more frantic Grayson became, though he never let Seul see it. She was too keenly aware of his interest in Cass, and any further indications would only exacerbate the situation. He persisted as though this was an argument about his fitness for the job, not about Cass herself.
But in his mind, he went over and over the arguments, trying to find one that would unlock the barrier between them. He was worried about her, plain and simple. Worried about how she was feeling, if she was scared, what she might be thinking about his prolonged absence. Worrying that he was losing her trust with every moment that passed.
This was the state of affairs when Myram arrived on the ship, Farlo in tow.