It's kind of good to briefly think/acclimate ahead. Sort of a questioning ~ howze this gonna work? I'm a Mom who is a stepmom and who's birth children have had a stepmom. LOL wait till you are a grandparent and there are step-grandparents in the mix. It's all okay. And it can be complicated...and waaaay too long to go into here.
But simply stated, even a semi-decent mom cannot be negated by a stepmom. Motherdom Is. Nothing can replace It. What can happen in the optimum though is that different women (or men, if they are the motherers) shine different colored lights on the mom-child relationship. This can often be a really good thing.
Many feelings, jealousy, possessiveness, competitiveness, relief, resentment, abandonment on a whole new level...so many feelings/thoughts can surface.
Remember those old toys that were semi-rounded that the toddler would drop different shapes into, and they rolled funny/wobbly?
Well sometimes the ball might roll kind of wobbly, but it will all fit together.
Re: Hey Minna,minnajuniperMay 20 2009, 18:11:01 UTC
How odd. To my memory (always touch and go)the entry i responded to was just at the bottom of the page, not weeks past.
How funny. I think i replied because after three marriages of my own, and one of our children who's also had three marriages, along with one of my birth kids' first stepmom to whom i loaned money ~ the orignal one for whom H1 left me (though he has since shared his life and story with other ladies - and i remain his favorite ex) ...whose daughter and i have declared each other aunt and niece, who (me) was once declared 'satanic' by Bear's ex, although we are on very good terms today, i thought i'd gotten pretty comfortable with convoluted familial relationships. And so figured i'd put in my 2 cents worth.
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"So did you seal the deal last night?"
"Oh yeah. I totally gave her sperm."
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How you doing Hsien?
Munay
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But simply stated, even a semi-decent mom cannot be negated by a stepmom. Motherdom Is. Nothing can replace It. What can happen in the optimum though is that different women (or men, if they are the motherers) shine different colored lights on the mom-child relationship. This can often be a really good thing.
Many feelings, jealousy, possessiveness, competitiveness, relief, resentment, abandonment on a whole new level...so many feelings/thoughts can surface.
Remember those old toys that were semi-rounded that the toddler would drop different shapes into, and they rolled funny/wobbly?
Well sometimes the ball might roll kind of wobbly, but it will all fit together.
Love, minna
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How funny. I think i replied because after three marriages of my own,
and one of our children who's also had three marriages,
along with one of my birth kids' first stepmom to whom i loaned money ~ the orignal one for whom H1 left me
(though he has since shared his life and story with other ladies - and i remain his favorite ex)
...whose daughter and i have declared each other aunt and niece,
who (me) was once declared 'satanic' by Bear's ex,
although we are on very good terms today,
i thought i'd gotten pretty comfortable with convoluted familial relationships. And so figured i'd put in my 2 cents worth.
Reply
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