seeds like ashes; jaesu
Seeds Like Ashes
jaesu; au; 1276 words
Jaejoong runs through the field, hand shielding rain from his eyes. He's completed soaked, feeling the heavy movement of fabric as he dashes, jeans clinging to his shins and his hair pasted to his skin. There's dirt in between his toes as he runs his way home barefoot. His boots have been left behind, stuck in mud and drenched.
//
The storm lasts for days. His boots are still out there.
This is not okay, Jaejoong thinks, Not okay at all.
They were good boots.
//
He goes down to the field days later, when the water has retreated, the sun is out, and the earth renewed. Jaejoong carefully makes his way down the hill, wearing his sandals and hoping to not cut any toes against the rocks.
Someone can be seen in the field, among the tall sunflowers.
"Hey! Heyyy!" Jaejoong calls out and waves his hands in the air.
He's ignored, the person just continues dancing and dancing in field, almost blending with the sunflowers. There's a giggle and Jaejoong thinks it's a girl.
"Miss! Have you seen my ... boots?" His voice trails off as he approaches because, well, it's a boy.
The boy stops dancing, blinking curiously and staring long enough to make Jaejoong feel funny and want to say something.
"They're here."
Jaejoong catches something in the corner of his eye and hears the quiet rustle of leaves. And then, his boots are there, behind to the boy, squeezed out from between two sunflowers, dried mud all over them.
"Ah!" His hands go to his face, covering his eyes but peeking between fingers. "How did you do that?" Jaejoong thinks that maybe Junsu is one of those travelling magician's sons. They passed by here a few days ago, when the rain came and poured. His mom said to stay away from them and their tricks, how they'll steal money from honest countrypeople. Jaejooong likes to think he's quickier and sharper than his mom thinks.
The boy just smiles at him and hands him his boots. "I'm Junsu."
They're heavy and filled with mud, all dripping everywhere but Jaejoong takes them and says thanks anyway.
//
"So what are you?"
"What am I?"
"Yeah!" Jaejoong points, pokes at Junsu as if to test that he's real flesh and blood.
"I don't seem real?"
"No! Just. Are you a magician's kid? What are you doing here? Where are your parents?"
Junsu smiles and answers, "I live here." Jaejoong thinks he almost looks relieved.
He stares and starts poking Junsu again.
"What are you doing?" Junsu asks, giggling as Jaejoong starts poking at ticklish spots, and squeaks when Jaejoong doesn't stop. Still laughing, he tries to catch Jaejoong's hands.
Jaejoong finds himself laughing along. "Trying to see if there's a hole that I poke that'll make you pop or explode or something." Jaejoong resumes his poking, totally serious, even though Junsu's still laughing at him.
"Hey. I think I know what you're looking for."
"What?" Jaejoong leans away from Junsu, looking him up and down skeptically. He's ready for some vanishing act, with a poof of baby blue smoke or something.
Junsu lifts his shirt a bit, and points at his bellybutton. "Here! I don't even know what that's for."
"Your mom used that to feed you when you were a baby, dummy!"
"What?!"
//
Sometimes Jaejoong comes out and follows Junsu as he dances in the sunflower field. His boots are left behind because they're too heavy to walk with all day (but mostly because Junsu asked him not to wear them there). Junsu dances the same path everyday, east to west. Somedays, Jaejoong is dragged along behind him, watching the boy follow sunshine from sunrise to sunset, captured by the way he glows.
There are games of hide and seek. Jaejoong will walk around, squeezing between tall sunflowers, calling Junsu's name, listening for a sneaky giggle. Sometimes it works. Most of the time it doesn't. Most of the time, Junsu sneaks up on him, tackling him from behind, pushing him into dirt.
There's a different kind of hide and seek when there's another rainstorm. Junsu is nowhere in sight when Jaejoong gets there, already drenched. They had promised to meet that day. Jaejoong calls, yells for him, eyes squinting trying to see despite the water pounding down.
"Junsuuuuuu!" Much to his dismay, there is no answer. Maybe Junsu was home? Maybe he left. He doesn't think Junsu would leave. He takes off his boots and walks into the sunflower field. They're extra violent today, tossing in the wind and pushing him along everywhere. He can't even walk straight, wanting to go one way but being pushed the other.
Then there he is. Junsu, sitting curled up on the ground, knees tucked to his chest, eyes shut tight and hands covering his ears.
"Junsu." Jaejoong runs over without interference from any sunflower. He squats down, concerned, and wraps his hands around Junsu's wrists, pulling gently. "Hey."
Junsu looks surprised to see him when he opens his eyes. Jaejoong doesn't know if those are tears or raindrops. "It's so loud."
"Stupid. It's thunder. Let's get you out of here."
"No!" Junsu's hands cover his ears again and he tries to scoot away from Jaejoong, digging his toes into mud.
"You're gonna get sick." Jaejoong tries being stern.
"No." Junsu answers more quietly, burrowing his bare feet into dirt.
//
"Someone hurt the sunflowers before," Junsu confesses, staring up at the clear sky, head resting on Jaejoong's stomach.
"Yeah?" Jaejoong's fingers comb through Junsu's hair, protective.
"He stomped through the field when he was looking for me."
Jaejoong wiggles his toes, ignoring the dirt on them. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, Jaejoong looks down at Junsu, head still resting on his stomach, staring, trying to read him.
Junsu giggles, and looks away.
Following his line of vision, Jaejoong can see Junsu wiggling his toes too.
//
"But you have to make a promise."
"What is it?"
"Can't be sad when I leave. When autumn comes."
"Can't guarantee that."
"Then maybe you should stop coming here."
//
Jajeoong comes on the first day of autumn anyway, and every day after that. There's not a noticeable difference in Junsu's demeanor, but it's enough for Jaejoong to worry. Little by little, Junsu runs less, dances less. Jaejoong starts giving him piggyback rides, walking slowly through rows and rows of bowing sunflowers. He sees Junsu stick his arm out in the corner of his eye, stopping to let the boy reach for a sunflower, its heavy head resting in his palm.
"It's tired."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm." Junsu rests his head on Jaejoong's shoulder and they continue along in silence.
But Jaejoong's never been a fan of quiet. "Junsu?"
"Yeah?"
"Oh. Nothing."
Junsu presses a lazy smile against the skin of Jaejoong's neck. "Okay."
"Is it sad?"
"No. It's happy to have company." Jaejoong barely catches the whisper and smiles, assured by the light squeeze of Junsu's arms.
And more than anything, he wants Junsu to be loud, to be loud and sing again.
//
Junsu's head is heavy and cold on his shoulder, voice light and whispery like autumn wind. He's a lot different from the loud, bright person Jaejoong first met. Junsu's a deceptive thing. He makes the world seem like sunshine and rainbows. Junsu, who danced, sang, and laughed towards the sky, the sun.
Jaejoong squeezes Junsu's hand, holding his breath until Junsu tugs back, chuckling.
"Still with me, Junsu?"
He feels Junsu nod against him. "Just hurts. A bit." The smile on Junsu's face doesn't match his words.
"Come on." Jaejoong helps him up.
He gives Junsu his last piggyback ride through the half-naked field.
jaesu; au; 1276 words
Jaejoong runs through the field, hand shielding rain from his eyes. He's completed soaked, feeling the heavy movement of fabric as he dashes, jeans clinging to his shins and his hair pasted to his skin. There's dirt in between his toes as he runs his way home barefoot. His boots have been left behind, stuck in mud and drenched.
//
The storm lasts for days. His boots are still out there.
This is not okay, Jaejoong thinks, Not okay at all.
They were good boots.
//
He goes down to the field days later, when the water has retreated, the sun is out, and the earth renewed. Jaejoong carefully makes his way down the hill, wearing his sandals and hoping to not cut any toes against the rocks.
Someone can be seen in the field, among the tall sunflowers.
"Hey! Heyyy!" Jaejoong calls out and waves his hands in the air.
He's ignored, the person just continues dancing and dancing in field, almost blending with the sunflowers. There's a giggle and Jaejoong thinks it's a girl.
"Miss! Have you seen my ... boots?" His voice trails off as he approaches because, well, it's a boy.
The boy stops dancing, blinking curiously and staring long enough to make Jaejoong feel funny and want to say something.
"They're here."
Jaejoong catches something in the corner of his eye and hears the quiet rustle of leaves. And then, his boots are there, behind to the boy, squeezed out from between two sunflowers, dried mud all over them.
"Ah!" His hands go to his face, covering his eyes but peeking between fingers. "How did you do that?" Jaejoong thinks that maybe Junsu is one of those travelling magician's sons. They passed by here a few days ago, when the rain came and poured. His mom said to stay away from them and their tricks, how they'll steal money from honest countrypeople. Jaejooong likes to think he's quickier and sharper than his mom thinks.
The boy just smiles at him and hands him his boots. "I'm Junsu."
They're heavy and filled with mud, all dripping everywhere but Jaejoong takes them and says thanks anyway.
//
"So what are you?"
"What am I?"
"Yeah!" Jaejoong points, pokes at Junsu as if to test that he's real flesh and blood.
"I don't seem real?"
"No! Just. Are you a magician's kid? What are you doing here? Where are your parents?"
Junsu smiles and answers, "I live here." Jaejoong thinks he almost looks relieved.
He stares and starts poking Junsu again.
"What are you doing?" Junsu asks, giggling as Jaejoong starts poking at ticklish spots, and squeaks when Jaejoong doesn't stop. Still laughing, he tries to catch Jaejoong's hands.
Jaejoong finds himself laughing along. "Trying to see if there's a hole that I poke that'll make you pop or explode or something." Jaejoong resumes his poking, totally serious, even though Junsu's still laughing at him.
"Hey. I think I know what you're looking for."
"What?" Jaejoong leans away from Junsu, looking him up and down skeptically. He's ready for some vanishing act, with a poof of baby blue smoke or something.
Junsu lifts his shirt a bit, and points at his bellybutton. "Here! I don't even know what that's for."
"Your mom used that to feed you when you were a baby, dummy!"
"What?!"
//
Sometimes Jaejoong comes out and follows Junsu as he dances in the sunflower field. His boots are left behind because they're too heavy to walk with all day (but mostly because Junsu asked him not to wear them there). Junsu dances the same path everyday, east to west. Somedays, Jaejoong is dragged along behind him, watching the boy follow sunshine from sunrise to sunset, captured by the way he glows.
There are games of hide and seek. Jaejoong will walk around, squeezing between tall sunflowers, calling Junsu's name, listening for a sneaky giggle. Sometimes it works. Most of the time it doesn't. Most of the time, Junsu sneaks up on him, tackling him from behind, pushing him into dirt.
There's a different kind of hide and seek when there's another rainstorm. Junsu is nowhere in sight when Jaejoong gets there, already drenched. They had promised to meet that day. Jaejoong calls, yells for him, eyes squinting trying to see despite the water pounding down.
"Junsuuuuuu!" Much to his dismay, there is no answer. Maybe Junsu was home? Maybe he left. He doesn't think Junsu would leave. He takes off his boots and walks into the sunflower field. They're extra violent today, tossing in the wind and pushing him along everywhere. He can't even walk straight, wanting to go one way but being pushed the other.
Then there he is. Junsu, sitting curled up on the ground, knees tucked to his chest, eyes shut tight and hands covering his ears.
"Junsu." Jaejoong runs over without interference from any sunflower. He squats down, concerned, and wraps his hands around Junsu's wrists, pulling gently. "Hey."
Junsu looks surprised to see him when he opens his eyes. Jaejoong doesn't know if those are tears or raindrops. "It's so loud."
"Stupid. It's thunder. Let's get you out of here."
"No!" Junsu's hands cover his ears again and he tries to scoot away from Jaejoong, digging his toes into mud.
"You're gonna get sick." Jaejoong tries being stern.
"No." Junsu answers more quietly, burrowing his bare feet into dirt.
//
"Someone hurt the sunflowers before," Junsu confesses, staring up at the clear sky, head resting on Jaejoong's stomach.
"Yeah?" Jaejoong's fingers comb through Junsu's hair, protective.
"He stomped through the field when he was looking for me."
Jaejoong wiggles his toes, ignoring the dirt on them. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, Jaejoong looks down at Junsu, head still resting on his stomach, staring, trying to read him.
Junsu giggles, and looks away.
Following his line of vision, Jaejoong can see Junsu wiggling his toes too.
//
"But you have to make a promise."
"What is it?"
"Can't be sad when I leave. When autumn comes."
"Can't guarantee that."
"Then maybe you should stop coming here."
//
Jajeoong comes on the first day of autumn anyway, and every day after that. There's not a noticeable difference in Junsu's demeanor, but it's enough for Jaejoong to worry. Little by little, Junsu runs less, dances less. Jaejoong starts giving him piggyback rides, walking slowly through rows and rows of bowing sunflowers. He sees Junsu stick his arm out in the corner of his eye, stopping to let the boy reach for a sunflower, its heavy head resting in his palm.
"It's tired."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm." Junsu rests his head on Jaejoong's shoulder and they continue along in silence.
But Jaejoong's never been a fan of quiet. "Junsu?"
"Yeah?"
"Oh. Nothing."
Junsu presses a lazy smile against the skin of Jaejoong's neck. "Okay."
"Is it sad?"
"No. It's happy to have company." Jaejoong barely catches the whisper and smiles, assured by the light squeeze of Junsu's arms.
And more than anything, he wants Junsu to be loud, to be loud and sing again.
//
Junsu's head is heavy and cold on his shoulder, voice light and whispery like autumn wind. He's a lot different from the loud, bright person Jaejoong first met. Junsu's a deceptive thing. He makes the world seem like sunshine and rainbows. Junsu, who danced, sang, and laughed towards the sky, the sun.
Jaejoong squeezes Junsu's hand, holding his breath until Junsu tugs back, chuckling.
"Still with me, Junsu?"
He feels Junsu nod against him. "Just hurts. A bit." The smile on Junsu's face doesn't match his words.
"Come on." Jaejoong helps him up.
He gives Junsu his last piggyback ride through the half-naked field.