Harry Potter and Somethingsomething
Harry Snotter and Somethingsomething
By "You-know-who"
Chapter 1: "Darn Owls"
Harry Snotter was lying in bed (at the Smursley's) reading his Care of Magical Creatures book, careful to stroke it's spine so it wouldn't bite his hand off. He was reading about blast-ended skrewts and hinkypunks when all of a sudden an owl ran smack into his window. "BLOODY BLOOD!" he frightendly cried out. "WOT WAS THAT!?" he said in his cool British accent. The owl flew up again and this time he had the window open, "Oh, lookie here, a witt'ol owl." He took the letter from the owl's beak and it flew off into the dark night sky. "Hmmm" he mumbled under his breath as he fought the layers and layers of tape to open the letter.
"Dear Mr. Snotter," it read, "I are pleased to inform you, you have been asked back for another year at Snogwarts. The list to follow has the required books needed for classes:
Transfiguration: Level 4 "Disfiguring Yourself" by Madam Freeto Lae
Care of Magical Creatures: Level 4 "How to Kare for Magickal Kreatures" by Madam Dori Toe
Charms: Level 4 "How 2 Charm Sum1" Master Pring le` Yum
Potions: Level 4 "How to Make an Instant Mafia Beard with a Potion" Master Cuhl Aide
Defense Against the Dark Arts: Level 4 "Defending Yourself Against Dark Crap" by Master U.R. Ooglay
Herbology: Level 4 "Plants That Seem Harmless But Will Eat You" by Madam Idon T. Noe
Divination: Level 4 "Reading Tea and Seltzer and Other Tasteless Beverages" by Madam Koke A. Kohla
History of Magic: Level 4 "The History of Magic and Some Other Stuff" by Master Fussy McFussalot
I am looking forward to seeing you back this year Mr. Snotter.
Yours Truely,
Albus Slumberwhore.
Harry folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. He would need to get to the Weaslebee's house before it was time to go back to school. He sat down and started a letter to Ron.
All of a sudden another owl slammed into the window, "BLOODY BLOOD!" Harry screamed again, less loud. He re-opened the window to get the letter, "Darn owls."(except he didn't say darn) THIS letter read:
"Harry, we'll be there to pick you up on Tuesday August 16 at around 10:00 PM. Ron."
"Wha-What??!" Harry exclaimed, it was August 16 and it was 9:57 PM, obviously the owl was a bit late. He hurriedly grabbed his things and threw them into his trunk. (no, not his bum silly, his TRUNK. like a suitcase 'cept bigger) He heard a knock at the door, he bolted upright. "Oh no, please no..." he thought, they can't have come to the DOOR. "Of all places..." He ran down the stairs two at a time, ran into the wall on the ladning, then sprinted down the rest and threw open the door.
Hahaha, thats all so far ;)