Nora
Mother's Day, 2005:
As if I don't know that it's tearing you apart
As if Idon't know that it's tearing this family apart.
As if I don't know that you're scared
As if I'm not scared
As if I have all the answers, I'm just not telling
As if I do this to hurt you
As if the fact that it hurts you isn't more painful than anything I inflict on myself
As if the fact that it hurts you doesn't make me wish I'd never been born, so that you'd be spared this, that you don't deserve, I love you so much
As if I'm not fighting
I am fighting, maybe harder than you've ever had to
And I'm still
And I quote
A Disaster
(I am.)
As if you're not what keeps me here
As if the prospect of leaving you, leaving here,
As if the fact there is any vile part of me that could do that
isn't what I truly despise in myself
As if I can't hear you crying
As if I don't need to cry
As if I didn't love this family more than...
well, more than any person should love anything
As if the true thingI wanted to escape wasn't your pain
As if there were
some way I could make this better
I swear at you because I can't stand to watch you love me.
As if I don't know that it's tearing you apart
As if Idon't know that it's tearing this family apart.
As if I don't know that you're scared
As if I'm not scared
As if I have all the answers, I'm just not telling
As if I do this to hurt you
As if the fact that it hurts you isn't more painful than anything I inflict on myself
As if the fact that it hurts you doesn't make me wish I'd never been born, so that you'd be spared this, that you don't deserve, I love you so much
As if I'm not fighting
I am fighting, maybe harder than you've ever had to
And I'm still
And I quote
A Disaster
(I am.)
As if you're not what keeps me here
As if the prospect of leaving you, leaving here,
As if the fact there is any vile part of me that could do that
isn't what I truly despise in myself
As if I can't hear you crying
As if I don't need to cry
As if I didn't love this family more than...
well, more than any person should love anything
As if the true thingI wanted to escape wasn't your pain
As if there were
some way I could make this better
I swear at you because I can't stand to watch you love me.