(no subject)
urgh scratch that last post. the london part of the trip was the worst part of it all.
just thinking back to it makes me depressed/angry.
i mean there were parts that i really enjoyed and didn't want it to end, but at the same time there was stuff that happened that made me physcially feel sick and just take the next plane out coz it was making me feel that bad. even writing about it is making me feel depressed.
for a few things i guess it might have been me being childish/petty/spoilt, but stuff like planning an event for me without really consulting me on the time? and inviting people i said i don't really want to meet? it really felt more like "yeah i want to have fun with my friends and i'll bring you along. yeah you dunno anyone at all, but i'm sure you'll be fine despite knowing you're really shy and have a big grudge against a good number of them" than the "i want you to have fun and introduce you to people i think you'll enjoy being with!" they said. it's not as if they don't know how restrained i was for time and how much i really needed that shopping time (ffs, what normal person does their big shopping on a sunday in UK), and they MAKE IT IN THE AFTERNOON?! okay i know it's the cheaper session, but ffs surely if it's karaoke for me i should have a say on time?!
and seriously, semi-forcing me to go to things i didn't really sign myself up for? i mean i'm all for drinking and stuff since i don't really get the chance to drink in HK, but all they did was just say "hey we're doing this, this and this on NYE! it's going to be funnnnnnnn" without even considering that hey i might not want to wake up for 10am on a holiday? i might not want to smoke/shisha? i might really not like people who do smoke?! okay that was a tangent and based off things i just found out when i got there but still.
and the worst thing (imo) was that my events were nearly completely ignored? i mean i made those events because i wanted to spend time with friends and people i really liked, people i've known for a long time that i'm really comfortable with? and the person i really wanted to be with decides that he's too tired/not bothered/etc that he doesn't go to any of them. this is when i went to all of his, despite the time clashes, despite the fact that they were full of people i didn't know/really didn't want to meet. i know that he doesn't meet up with our old friends any more is because of me, but i really don't get why doesn't he even try. i still met with all his new female friends despite holding very big grudges on them. i still don't like them that much, but at least i made the effort. he doesn't even try. it's just like he doesn't appreciate anything i do any more...
okay that went from random people (?) to very specific person but oh well. my journal.
just thinking back to it makes me depressed/angry.
i mean there were parts that i really enjoyed and didn't want it to end, but at the same time there was stuff that happened that made me physcially feel sick and just take the next plane out coz it was making me feel that bad. even writing about it is making me feel depressed.
for a few things i guess it might have been me being childish/petty/spoilt, but stuff like planning an event for me without really consulting me on the time? and inviting people i said i don't really want to meet? it really felt more like "yeah i want to have fun with my friends and i'll bring you along. yeah you dunno anyone at all, but i'm sure you'll be fine despite knowing you're really shy and have a big grudge against a good number of them" than the "i want you to have fun and introduce you to people i think you'll enjoy being with!" they said. it's not as if they don't know how restrained i was for time and how much i really needed that shopping time (ffs, what normal person does their big shopping on a sunday in UK), and they MAKE IT IN THE AFTERNOON?! okay i know it's the cheaper session, but ffs surely if it's karaoke for me i should have a say on time?!
and seriously, semi-forcing me to go to things i didn't really sign myself up for? i mean i'm all for drinking and stuff since i don't really get the chance to drink in HK, but all they did was just say "hey we're doing this, this and this on NYE! it's going to be funnnnnnnn" without even considering that hey i might not want to wake up for 10am on a holiday? i might not want to smoke/shisha? i might really not like people who do smoke?! okay that was a tangent and based off things i just found out when i got there but still.
and the worst thing (imo) was that my events were nearly completely ignored? i mean i made those events because i wanted to spend time with friends and people i really liked, people i've known for a long time that i'm really comfortable with? and the person i really wanted to be with decides that he's too tired/not bothered/etc that he doesn't go to any of them. this is when i went to all of his, despite the time clashes, despite the fact that they were full of people i didn't know/really didn't want to meet. i know that he doesn't meet up with our old friends any more is because of me, but i really don't get why doesn't he even try. i still met with all his new female friends despite holding very big grudges on them. i still don't like them that much, but at least i made the effort. he doesn't even try. it's just like he doesn't appreciate anything i do any more...
okay that went from random people (?) to very specific person but oh well. my journal.