HURRY up and WAIT!
So I think I'm prolly a lil' OCD... I'll explain.
- All the dishes, food, and anything in the cupboards have to be organized a certain way. (Biggest on bottom or in back, smallest on top or in front)
- When I load the dishwasher, all the dishes in there also must be organized a certain way.
- I will re-organize the whole dishwasher if my mom has been loading it, as well as all the cupboards, she doesn't categorize things right, especially the cups.
- Every thing in my room has to be straight, from the furniture, to the remotes and cell phone on my night stand.
- I do things in a certain order, everything, I plan it out first in my head. For EG: For my shower- wash face, shave anything I need to, wash hair, put in conditioner, wash my body, then rinse out conditioner.
- I am constantly looking at my watch, re-evaluating any events and the time they should happen. Even when I should eat or use the restroom.
- I write EVERYTHING down, if I am doing ANYTHING that involves me leaving the house (sometimes that's not even necessary) I plan it out the night before down to the minute. If I have planned for something, and it changes, a lil thingy seems to tweak in my brain and I'm all outta wack the whole day.
- Usually I spell everything right, all the grammar is impeccable if I am writing. With the few exceptions of the internet shorthand.
- Even when I write a simple e-mail, I always use a certain format for it.
- I spell check EVERYTHING, even if I'm not the one who wrote it.
I'm sure I can think of more but we'll leave it at that. The point of this, is that I'm thinking, perhaps I have a fear of the unknown? Things need to be a certain way for me, and I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. Maybe both? Like I have always viewed (and wanted) a real family. Dad and Mom, married, two or three kids. God knows that's not how my family ever was. And now Aidan won't have that either. Doing this alone is a pretty big scare for me.
Aidan will be coming soon, but I don't know when. I don't know the time, day, or even week. And it's driving me nuts. All I can do is sit here and wait. I've gotten pretty much everything ready for him beforehand (of course) so now I don't have anything left to do...
I even planned out how many and when i will eat the doritos chips we bought... we got 2 bags so I'm eating an even amount out of them everyday....jesus christ....
Is it shrink time?
- All the dishes, food, and anything in the cupboards have to be organized a certain way. (Biggest on bottom or in back, smallest on top or in front)
- When I load the dishwasher, all the dishes in there also must be organized a certain way.
- I will re-organize the whole dishwasher if my mom has been loading it, as well as all the cupboards, she doesn't categorize things right, especially the cups.
- Every thing in my room has to be straight, from the furniture, to the remotes and cell phone on my night stand.
- I do things in a certain order, everything, I plan it out first in my head. For EG: For my shower- wash face, shave anything I need to, wash hair, put in conditioner, wash my body, then rinse out conditioner.
- I am constantly looking at my watch, re-evaluating any events and the time they should happen. Even when I should eat or use the restroom.
- I write EVERYTHING down, if I am doing ANYTHING that involves me leaving the house (sometimes that's not even necessary) I plan it out the night before down to the minute. If I have planned for something, and it changes, a lil thingy seems to tweak in my brain and I'm all outta wack the whole day.
- Usually I spell everything right, all the grammar is impeccable if I am writing. With the few exceptions of the internet shorthand.
- Even when I write a simple e-mail, I always use a certain format for it.
- I spell check EVERYTHING, even if I'm not the one who wrote it.
I'm sure I can think of more but we'll leave it at that. The point of this, is that I'm thinking, perhaps I have a fear of the unknown? Things need to be a certain way for me, and I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. Maybe both? Like I have always viewed (and wanted) a real family. Dad and Mom, married, two or three kids. God knows that's not how my family ever was. And now Aidan won't have that either. Doing this alone is a pretty big scare for me.
Aidan will be coming soon, but I don't know when. I don't know the time, day, or even week. And it's driving me nuts. All I can do is sit here and wait. I've gotten pretty much everything ready for him beforehand (of course) so now I don't have anything left to do...
I even planned out how many and when i will eat the doritos chips we bought... we got 2 bags so I'm eating an even amount out of them everyday....jesus christ....
Is it shrink time?