Comments | x_sang: Please, shoot me now.

x_sang

Please, shoot me now.

Jan 09, 2005 19:21

Out of the closet and thoroughly hating it.

WARNING: Best avoid this one if you're of a very religious persuasion.

( Just when you thought I might have grown a BRAIN... )

Comments 8

kattabean January 11 2005, 01:27:41 UTC

Please get online?

x_sang January 11 2005, 01:34:13 UTC

Real life is a bitch. I apologize profusely and offer, er .. offerings?

cursethelight January 11 2005, 02:41:45 UTC

ummm...I'm sorry? I hope things get better...?

veran January 11 2005, 03:20:30 UTC

Eeeesh! That stinks! ;_;

I know this sounds impossible, but you can probably get her to stop attacking you about this--point out that you respect her views even though you don't believe in them (well, you don't randomly try to convert her at least), that you won't change your mind and she's only going to alienate you if she tries, and if necessary, tell her some of the flaws in her religion to get her to shut up. I can send you some real good links if you want them (particularly useful in convincing people that the whole world doesn't believe in a god!).

Good luck...

inserthatehere January 11 2005, 12:43:54 UTC

You are different. This is something completely different from the Tori that I once knew. This is something strange and .. I don't know.

Aha.

This made me tear up, you know. Tears fall.

Not because of the 'logic' behind it, because truly, Tori, I see no logic. I see an angry, bitter person. I don't see the outgoing, playfully sarcastic girl I was once friends with. You're like a monster now. I am not going to lie to you.

I've been through what you're going through with the religion, when I told my parents I didn't believe. I also happened to have rubbed it in their faces when I did, and made certain they knew it and knew it well.

I've been there, Tori. I'm certain you can recall those times.

It just hurts to see someone like you there.

Cruel and bitter and angry all of the time.

It's isn't the way to live.

You'll see.

x_sang January 11 2005, 21:30:03 UTC

Now I'm crying too. Isn't it lovely?

I don't want to rub it in their faces. I never intended to tell them at all. It just ... slipped out. And I've never regretted something as much as I do that.

I feel like a monster.

inserthatehere January 13 2005, 02:57:45 UTC

You're a better person than this.

Don't do this to yourself.

You'll regret all of it. I promise you.

I do. Every day.

x_sang January 17 2005, 20:42:34 UTC

I'm not "cruel and bitter and angry all of the time". What you're reading in this entry was a reaction to an unpleasant situation, not some secret personality that I've kept hidden away and let out just to shock you and make you feel betrayed. This is a dark spot on my character, Lily, and we all have them. The fact that you've never seen this side of me says that I don't act like this often. I never have before.

Also, this is a journal. When bad things happen, I'm going to get angry, bitter, depressed ... Whatever. A journal exists so that you don't have to show those emotions in real life.

In conclusion, I don't live that way. Far from it. And I'm still trying to figure out why my own personal convictions should be stomped all over if someone I know is against them and has a disproportionate reaction to said beliefs.

I'm not out to achieve the same thing as you were, apparently. I've been nursing my atheism for several years by learning things. This is not a matter of rebellion. This is a matter of Victoria trying to use her ( ... )