well more like lj is the place i go to talk about things i won't share on tumblr lolol
which is why i'm kinda relieved i was so anti-social on this website. (i'm still pretty reserved when it comes to talking to people and following on tumblr, but i never even followed journals on LJ and i was even worse at responding to comments XD;;;....)
so the secret's out-- i have a job and it's w/e to the two people i was hiding it from.
luckily, while i was unemployed, my sister finally realized that she can't shove her financial woes and overall well-being of self over to one person. not sure how deep she let the lesson marinate, but hopefully it's enough lol.
my friend found out after i tried to offer her the position that one of my co-workers may or may not be getting fired from. she wants to move back in with her old bf, and at that i'm just like 'ew' but.... -_-; ugh, i guess i can't parent her about it lest she stops opening up to me completely. she's forwarding the position info to her ex and urgh-- it sucks cuz i don't like her ex at all and this means i'll be seeing him-- and also because the current job-holder in that shift, Chordy, is a really cool kid and i honestly don't want to see him gone (if only he'd just be more dependable about showing up for his shifts, tho XD).
me and Kaz-- the guy who does the usual morning shift (Chordy fills in my afternoon shifts on my days off, and Kaz's shifts on his days off) seem to be getting along, plus the boss (Dekan) as well, which surprises me (Dekan outright called me his friend) since i've been naturally and yet unintentionally pushing away from social situations as of late. so it's good to know that i do still possess the ability to get along with certain people-- i guess i just don't have the energy to put forward the same effort to every single person i meet?
in regards to personal life, i've been kinda spazzing. this cutie from childhood and i hooked up at one point has been hitting me up lately-- apparently he recently hitched his wagon to a lady who loooves open relationships and who has been encouraging him to sleep with others.
first off, *FLATTERED*. he is half a country away, has slept with other women, and the first thing he does is fucking hit ME up??? secondly, this made me relieved since he's kind of a reserved type and at the time of our one-nighter, i couldn't even tell if he enjoyed it that much (sure, he came, but fuck, like that even says much.)-- so that was a long-due assurance that i had internally fretted over back then.
we've been texting back and forth for a while, which has been pure delight~ considering during his last relationship (monogamous) he (understandably) never even gave me the time of day. now i find out, he wants us to fuck the ever-loving bajeebus out of each other. he says 'thanksgiving' since that's the next time he'll be in-state.
anyway, we've known each other since middle school, and although we never actually been 'friends' in the sense of 'YOU ARE LIKE FAMILY TO ME', we've always run in the same social circles and been constant presences to one another, and have gotten along pretty well since we were minors. needless to say, we're comfortable with one another-- we're cool, to the point where when we regard one another, it's whatever, like "oh, it's just you" but, like, in a good way.
okay, so now today, dude INVITES ME INTO A THREESOME WITH HIS GF.
HHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*comes back from shower break*
anyway, because i'm sexually open, i got hella psyched and typing in caps because, holy shit, finally! A FUCKING THREESOME. THIS IS MY DREAM.
and then, because i'm socially closed off, i kinda had a freak out.
cuz it's not like it's just anyone. this is a woman who i've never met, who is amazing enough to encourage open promiscuity in her relationship with one of the nicest, if not THE nicest, guy i know after someone acquiring that man as a primary and dedicated bed-partner-- so essentially not only is she an excellent lay, with a great personality, but she's completely secure with herself and is into s/m and is everything i basically ever want to be including, according to Tam, hot.
and i'm supposed to help please this woman in bed.
so yeah, i kinda freaked out.
kinda still nervous, but i got most of the edge off. there's not much i can do besides exercise and practice on cherry stems i guess? lol ._.;;;
now, i'm just like. well. idk. thinking about it. in a perfect world, everything will go well and it'll be one hell of an experience to masturbate to after. but it's not a perfect world. and thus, performance anxiety~~. XD;;; oi....
edit--- auughh, i was able to track down her fb and the more i look at her, the cuter she gets. O_O;; *shits self*
so the secret's out-- i have a job and it's w/e to the two people i was hiding it from.
luckily, while i was unemployed, my sister finally realized that she can't shove her financial woes and overall well-being of self over to one person. not sure how deep she let the lesson marinate, but hopefully it's enough lol.
my friend found out after i tried to offer her the position that one of my co-workers may or may not be getting fired from. she wants to move back in with her old bf, and at that i'm just like 'ew' but.... -_-; ugh, i guess i can't parent her about it lest she stops opening up to me completely. she's forwarding the position info to her ex and urgh-- it sucks cuz i don't like her ex at all and this means i'll be seeing him-- and also because the current job-holder in that shift, Chordy, is a really cool kid and i honestly don't want to see him gone (if only he'd just be more dependable about showing up for his shifts, tho XD).
me and Kaz-- the guy who does the usual morning shift (Chordy fills in my afternoon shifts on my days off, and Kaz's shifts on his days off) seem to be getting along, plus the boss (Dekan) as well, which surprises me (Dekan outright called me his friend) since i've been naturally and yet unintentionally pushing away from social situations as of late. so it's good to know that i do still possess the ability to get along with certain people-- i guess i just don't have the energy to put forward the same effort to every single person i meet?
in regards to personal life, i've been kinda spazzing. this cutie from childhood and i hooked up at one point has been hitting me up lately-- apparently he recently hitched his wagon to a lady who loooves open relationships and who has been encouraging him to sleep with others.
first off, *FLATTERED*. he is half a country away, has slept with other women, and the first thing he does is fucking hit ME up??? secondly, this made me relieved since he's kind of a reserved type and at the time of our one-nighter, i couldn't even tell if he enjoyed it that much (sure, he came, but fuck, like that even says much.)-- so that was a long-due assurance that i had internally fretted over back then.
we've been texting back and forth for a while, which has been pure delight~ considering during his last relationship (monogamous) he (understandably) never even gave me the time of day. now i find out, he wants us to fuck the ever-loving bajeebus out of each other. he says 'thanksgiving' since that's the next time he'll be in-state.
anyway, we've known each other since middle school, and although we never actually been 'friends' in the sense of 'YOU ARE LIKE FAMILY TO ME', we've always run in the same social circles and been constant presences to one another, and have gotten along pretty well since we were minors. needless to say, we're comfortable with one another-- we're cool, to the point where when we regard one another, it's whatever, like "oh, it's just you" but, like, in a good way.
okay, so now today, dude INVITES ME INTO A THREESOME WITH HIS GF.
HHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*comes back from shower break*
anyway, because i'm sexually open, i got hella psyched and typing in caps because, holy shit, finally! A FUCKING THREESOME. THIS IS MY DREAM.
and then, because i'm socially closed off, i kinda had a freak out.
cuz it's not like it's just anyone. this is a woman who i've never met, who is amazing enough to encourage open promiscuity in her relationship with one of the nicest, if not THE nicest, guy i know after someone acquiring that man as a primary and dedicated bed-partner-- so essentially not only is she an excellent lay, with a great personality, but she's completely secure with herself and is into s/m and is everything i basically ever want to be including, according to Tam, hot.
and i'm supposed to help please this woman in bed.
so yeah, i kinda freaked out.
kinda still nervous, but i got most of the edge off. there's not much i can do besides exercise and practice on cherry stems i guess? lol ._.;;;
now, i'm just like. well. idk. thinking about it. in a perfect world, everything will go well and it'll be one hell of an experience to masturbate to after. but it's not a perfect world. and thus, performance anxiety~~. XD;;; oi....
edit--- auughh, i was able to track down her fb and the more i look at her, the cuter she gets. O_O;; *shits self*