My Life..

[x_xbrittany]

I wish I could leave this town. Drive far, far away. Never looking back, Forgetting anyone I knew, and everything that I've done. Maybe things would be better, maybe they'd just go down hill. I'm pretty sure things couldn't get much worse than they already are. I feel as though my life has lost it's meaning and I'm not sure how or why.

Comments

I am alive

[crookedfingers]

I can relate to your existence pain-peace

[enragedfetus]

Well, I'm not so sure any of what you just described ever actually goes away.

What I think happens is that you gradually develop ways of dealing with all the shittiness so that you are, in fact, eventually able to find pleasure in the space of life. The awful things, they become less awful, especially if you are able to accomplish things you are proud of - make meaningful that which is meaningless, in other words.

Traveling does help. Never looking back, well, that's a hard thing, and perhaps not necessary, but for you I suppose it could be. But be sure to get away now and then, when you can. I am never happier than when I am journeying. I got the wanderlust. Maybe you do too.

What is the nature of your confinement?

[x_xbrittany]

My dad works at a job the he's required to leave for about 9 days at a time.
In those 9 days I find myself doing absolutely nothing productive. I'll go walk around for a few miles and come back home and do nothing.
I don't have a job because I don't have a car, I don't have a car because i don't have a job. Catch 22. So I can't drive anywhere to get away.

So in my spare time I talk to people online or close friends on the phone.. I try to find other things to do like twirling batons, art, photography, web page design..
but nothing seems to occupy enough of my time.
I've lost interest in the things that used to matter.