Doctor Who!
I'm sick, bored, and can't concentrate enough to do anything, even read or write. So what do I do?
I watch the first seven episodes of Doctor Who on Netflix. With a trusty notebook. These are my first impressions, people. I'm going into this completely virginal (except for what Tumblr has spoiled, which is pretty much everything).
ROSE
Okay, so Stargate and Doctor Who agree: travelling through time/space = bad Winamp visualisations.
I think I have that shirt.
Her job is moving piles of folded clothing around that table.
A basement full of mannequins. I'd piss myself.
FUCK FUCK FUCK
WHY the FUCK are you still holding that arm? That seems like a REALLY bad idea.
I remember when cordless phones were that big. IN THE 90'S. What, is the prop department really that strapped for cash?
"All in danger?" I mean, yeah, the Titanic was bad for everyone on board, but it was a pretty isolated incident.
I feel like that when I take the garbage out sometimes.
Smash ALL the glassware!
She's taking the whole "my boyfriend's head is melting" thing really well.
What is this room even FOR?
Wait, so was that a plastic gun that thing just created, or are all mannequins in the UK that badass?
Where did all those little fires come from?
That was a bit of a dick move, Rose.
THE END OF THE WORLD
I'm not going to open the door because we don't have the budget for it.
We spent it all on this tasteful bamboo room.
That doesn't look all that peaceful. PLOT TWIST
Better than a Babelfish, yeah?
HOW IS IT THAT NO ONE CAN HEAR THESE? PLUNK PLUNK PLINK
Why would you even HAVE that button?
Oh hey, there's Harry Potter.
This is the music we could get the rights to!
NOOOOO NOT THE BAMBOO ROOM
Everyone is more or less dead from radiation by now.
The autoignition temperature of wood is far higher than "terribly damaging to human flesh," just so you know. AND YES I KNOW THE DOCTOR ISN'T HUMAN BUT STILL HE SHOULD BE AT LEAST SWEATING
Is that Velcro on her shoes? Is she six?
No more McDonalds.
Chips!
THE UNQUIET DEAD
Um, "another one?" Why hasn't this place been reported to the BBB?
GATISS
Oh, just be quiet and go enjoy 1860, Rose.
That's a lot of skin for 1860, no?
What, have you never seen snow before?
Why does Dickens remind me of my FIL?
Oh, you don't want to get a cheap exorcism. You never want to skimp on mattresses, shoes, or exorcisms.
"I love a happy medium." And this show has earned a lifelong watcher.
So... what were these bodies being saved for, exactly?
Nicely done with the door knocker.
...but...oxygen is gas...and nitrogen...you know what? fuck it.
ALIENS OF LONDON
Uh oh, key change! Something is afoot!
I really want that spaceship flying through the Sherlock opening credits now.
Was that Blue Peter? Do I get extra points for knowing that?
IT'S ISOBEL CRAWLEY!
I do all my lab work in a bluelit lab with one lamp.
What... the actual fuck?
"Let me be of some use." BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh I know this line came before her line in Downton Abbey but BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
How do they do that neat trick with the lights?
OH NOES A CLIFFHANGER
WORLD WAR THREE
This chase sequence reminds me of Scooby Doo.
You two are the very sneakiest.
Just... keep repeating that password? Do I need to have a word with the military?
What, are there no peepholes in doors in 2005?
That was a bit of a violent reaction to a bit of vinegar, even if you are calcium-based.
...why not do this to, say, Mars? There are fewer people around to notice.
Skittles? Really?
"Victory should be naked" is my new battle cry.
YES, RUN FROM THE NUCLEAR MISSILE
Um, is no one worried about radiation? Because that's a thing.
Can't you do that no matter when you are? Like, can't you travel through time and do that no matter where your starting point is? No need to be a dick about it.
THERE ARE DALEKS IN THE NEXT ONE
DALEK
Oh, the episode is CALLED Dalek. I guess that wasn't that much of a stretch.
Hey, it's 2012! And apparently Rose and I are the same age!
See, it's shit like this that makes me regret not starting at the very beginning.
God, who is this guy? He's tripping all my recognition algorithms but I'm not getting any hits.
We're about to see 9th Doctor's OH FUCK face.
EMO DALEK
I'm developing a crush on this kid.
Why does he have a torture device that also takes an MRI?
EMO DALEK
The combination is comprised entirely of octothorpes.
SHINY DALEK
Oh god. It knows the entire internet. IT IS A DALEK WITH 4CHAN AND LOLCATS AT ITS DISPOSAL
Yes, taunt the Dalek. That sounds like an excellent idea.
That dude's gonna die.
But tap water doesn't conduct electricity all that well - you know what? FUCK IT
EMO DALEK IN RAIN
Ooooooh, burrrrrrn.
Um, just open it up enough to let Rose through. Problem solved.
EMO DALEK
Ew, it's all slimy.
YAY BRAINY KID GETS A LIFT
THE LONG GAME
To be honest, I'd pass out too.
They're on Babylon 5!
Uh oh. Adam's up to something.
And he's a wimp.
Oh yeah, take the TARDIS key. What could possibly go wrong?
Who are you talking to, Adam?
Oh, now you're in trouble.
They're all scrolling down their Tumblr dash.
Um. Gross.
Hey, it's Fox News!
Methinks Adam is toast.
No! It's worse! He got kicked out of the TARDIS!
I watch the first seven episodes of Doctor Who on Netflix. With a trusty notebook. These are my first impressions, people. I'm going into this completely virginal (except for what Tumblr has spoiled, which is pretty much everything).
ROSE
Okay, so Stargate and Doctor Who agree: travelling through time/space = bad Winamp visualisations.
I think I have that shirt.
Her job is moving piles of folded clothing around that table.
A basement full of mannequins. I'd piss myself.
FUCK FUCK FUCK
WHY the FUCK are you still holding that arm? That seems like a REALLY bad idea.
I remember when cordless phones were that big. IN THE 90'S. What, is the prop department really that strapped for cash?
"All in danger?" I mean, yeah, the Titanic was bad for everyone on board, but it was a pretty isolated incident.
I feel like that when I take the garbage out sometimes.
Smash ALL the glassware!
She's taking the whole "my boyfriend's head is melting" thing really well.
What is this room even FOR?
Wait, so was that a plastic gun that thing just created, or are all mannequins in the UK that badass?
Where did all those little fires come from?
That was a bit of a dick move, Rose.
THE END OF THE WORLD
I'm not going to open the door because we don't have the budget for it.
We spent it all on this tasteful bamboo room.
That doesn't look all that peaceful. PLOT TWIST
Better than a Babelfish, yeah?
HOW IS IT THAT NO ONE CAN HEAR THESE? PLUNK PLUNK PLINK
Why would you even HAVE that button?
Oh hey, there's Harry Potter.
This is the music we could get the rights to!
NOOOOO NOT THE BAMBOO ROOM
Everyone is more or less dead from radiation by now.
The autoignition temperature of wood is far higher than "terribly damaging to human flesh," just so you know. AND YES I KNOW THE DOCTOR ISN'T HUMAN BUT STILL HE SHOULD BE AT LEAST SWEATING
Is that Velcro on her shoes? Is she six?
No more McDonalds.
Chips!
THE UNQUIET DEAD
Um, "another one?" Why hasn't this place been reported to the BBB?
GATISS
Oh, just be quiet and go enjoy 1860, Rose.
That's a lot of skin for 1860, no?
What, have you never seen snow before?
Why does Dickens remind me of my FIL?
Oh, you don't want to get a cheap exorcism. You never want to skimp on mattresses, shoes, or exorcisms.
"I love a happy medium." And this show has earned a lifelong watcher.
So... what were these bodies being saved for, exactly?
Nicely done with the door knocker.
...but...oxygen is gas...and nitrogen...you know what? fuck it.
ALIENS OF LONDON
Uh oh, key change! Something is afoot!
I really want that spaceship flying through the Sherlock opening credits now.
Was that Blue Peter? Do I get extra points for knowing that?
IT'S ISOBEL CRAWLEY!
I do all my lab work in a bluelit lab with one lamp.
What... the actual fuck?
"Let me be of some use." BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh I know this line came before her line in Downton Abbey but BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
How do they do that neat trick with the lights?
OH NOES A CLIFFHANGER
WORLD WAR THREE
This chase sequence reminds me of Scooby Doo.
You two are the very sneakiest.
Just... keep repeating that password? Do I need to have a word with the military?
What, are there no peepholes in doors in 2005?
That was a bit of a violent reaction to a bit of vinegar, even if you are calcium-based.
...why not do this to, say, Mars? There are fewer people around to notice.
Skittles? Really?
"Victory should be naked" is my new battle cry.
YES, RUN FROM THE NUCLEAR MISSILE
Um, is no one worried about radiation? Because that's a thing.
Can't you do that no matter when you are? Like, can't you travel through time and do that no matter where your starting point is? No need to be a dick about it.
THERE ARE DALEKS IN THE NEXT ONE
DALEK
Oh, the episode is CALLED Dalek. I guess that wasn't that much of a stretch.
Hey, it's 2012! And apparently Rose and I are the same age!
See, it's shit like this that makes me regret not starting at the very beginning.
God, who is this guy? He's tripping all my recognition algorithms but I'm not getting any hits.
We're about to see 9th Doctor's OH FUCK face.
EMO DALEK
I'm developing a crush on this kid.
Why does he have a torture device that also takes an MRI?
EMO DALEK
The combination is comprised entirely of octothorpes.
SHINY DALEK
Oh god. It knows the entire internet. IT IS A DALEK WITH 4CHAN AND LOLCATS AT ITS DISPOSAL
Yes, taunt the Dalek. That sounds like an excellent idea.
That dude's gonna die.
But tap water doesn't conduct electricity all that well - you know what? FUCK IT
EMO DALEK IN RAIN
Ooooooh, burrrrrrn.
Um, just open it up enough to let Rose through. Problem solved.
EMO DALEK
Ew, it's all slimy.
YAY BRAINY KID GETS A LIFT
THE LONG GAME
To be honest, I'd pass out too.
They're on Babylon 5!
Uh oh. Adam's up to something.
And he's a wimp.
Oh yeah, take the TARDIS key. What could possibly go wrong?
Who are you talking to, Adam?
Oh, now you're in trouble.
They're all scrolling down their Tumblr dash.
Um. Gross.
Hey, it's Fox News!
Methinks Adam is toast.
No! It's worse! He got kicked out of the TARDIS!