(no subject)
hey. you really shouldnt bother reading this, because i believe only one person in the whole world will fully understand and be able to respond to what im talking about. and the chances of that one person reading this are not very high at all. i just need to get it out. i was watching the notebook today, because i had heard it was a very good movie. and it was very good. even if it wasnt very good, i would have found myself liking it, because of the parallels to my life. looking back on this summer, and what happened and what it was like since i met you, was excatly like the movie. then it just had to end, not because either of us particularly wanted it to, but because it had to. its not fair, and seeing how i was feeling after that happened mirrored in the movie was weird. then the whole letter thing. sending letters. the letters i still have in a box in my room .. that i havent read since summer for obvious reasons. they loved each other, they had the most fun together (kinda like us, even though we couldnt be together physically) then they went away and went on with their own lives (exactly) they thought they could move on and forget, but they couldnt, maybe you can, but i havent completely forgotten. i think this is going to happen. 6 or 7 years down the road, i feel like im going to need to fly halfway across the country just because what i felt will never end i dont think. "you dont forget your first love." true. i honestly can say that i loved you. and i really just wanna know what would happen if i were to see you again. i feel like i need to, like what happened isnt really over. and maybe im crazy, but how weird is our class trip going to be. i mean, i have no idea howd id react to being at the same place i met you. i hate even thinking about it. i keep thinking maybe i should call and just ask you about that, because i know youd know what to say, but i dont want you to say the wrong thing. because youre the one who i experienced it with and if you didnt know what to say, then theres no hope left.
life is so weird. i turned off the comments for this entry, because everyone would just be like what the heck are you talking about. but if you read this, let me know. k thanks.