In Him... [ Chapter 1 ]
Title: In Him...
Pairings: YunJae
Length: Chaptered
Jaejoong held his position, his shaky palm covering him mouth. He feared his silent sob might escape, and that would only hurt his beloved. He took advantage of the nurses hovering around and hid behind them. The faint moans and whimpers came with his final gasp, declaring the end of his tears. Finally, when all the needles and machines were intact, the nurses disappeared in a snap.
They were alone now in the room. The set of chocolate eyes were staring at him, and Jaejoong managed to smile. He was afraid to speak so soon, because the salty lump was still blocking his throat. He took small steps toward the man and cleared his throat.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, not liking his husky voice.
The bedridden man only smiled; a lifeless smile though. His free hand reached for Jaejoong, and Jaejoong immediately took it. With the sheer power left in him, he pulled Jaejoong closer. The older male resisted at first, afraid that his weight might hurt the man, but the sudden eagerness showing in Changmin's eyes forced him to give in.
His head rested on Changmin's broad chest, the ragged breath became clearer in Jaejoong's ear. Using the same free hand, Changmin stroked Jaejoong's cheeks. His chalky lips parted slowly as he spoke,
"You were crying, weren't you?"
Jaejoong pressed his eyelids together; his tears were already grouping by his eyes. After a sudden intake of air, he spoke.
"No, I wasn't crying. Everything will be fine so there's no need to cry, right?" Jaejoong uttered in a fake cheerful tone, repeating Changmin's usual words.
"That's my boy" Changmin replied. His hand found Jaejoong's chin and he lifted it, making Jaejoong face him. Their eyes met, but Jaejoong looked away. Changmin only chuckled and pressed his cold lips on Jaejoong's.
Jaejoong froze, not because of how sour Changmin tasted, but because of the kiss. It was… simply.. different. Chagmin's chopped lips molded with his in a yearning manner, unwilling to let go. Was it desire? Or was he making up before…leaving?
Jaejoong pushed the thought aside as he gently pushed Changmin.
"I'll go and get my lunch" He uttered hastily before dashing out of the room. His feet led him to the male's restroom, where he slid down the wall and surrendered to his tears.
Could it be that Changmin heard what Dr. Shin told him? That Changmin had a maximum of two weeks only left? Or did Changmin sense it already?
His chest heaved as he gasped again. He used all his will power to make the tears stop, but he couldn't, he knew he couldn't. It just hurts. It hurts deeply, especially the part where you couldn't do anything for your loved one, where you'd only watch them helplessly as they fly away.
*
Jaejoong decided to grab some food before returning, not only that he didn't want what he said to Changmin to be a lie, but also because his eyes were terribly swollen. No way will he face Changmin like this. The younger male would probably spend his sleepless night twisting in guilt. And it wouldn't be the first time.
A faint smile pulled at his lips when he arrived at the grocery store nearby, they had a new stock of Changmin's favorite cup-noodles, and he was carrying a bag full of it when he left.
He swung the bag in his hand, already imagining Changmin's thrilled expression if he saw it. His mind was still occupied in picturing Changmin when he heard his name. Instinctively, he made a sharp turn to face the source of the voice, and how he wished he didn't.
The front window of the limousine was rolled down, and he saw the man calling him. The black tinted car screeched as it parked on the pavement next to him. And before he knew it, he was being ushered inside.
She was in her usual seat. Clad in expensive fur coat and hair curled prettily just above her shoulders. Although time had had its fair share of her, she still looked beautiful, Jaejoong had to admit that. Her face was frozen, like always, and it really took her a great of effort to smile.
"How are you Jaejoong?" She asked, voice as cold as her face.
"I'm fine umma" Jaejoong replied politely, watching her twirl the shaft of tobacco between her thin gloved fingers.
"Have you considered my offer?" She mused, her cheeks were sucked in as she gracefully took a huff at her tobacco.
Jaejoong sighed, his voice was extremely soft as he spoke, "Umma, I told you already, I have no interest in taking over the company"
She momentarily stared at him, her dark arrogant eyes piercing through him. When she spoke again, her voice was a notch higher.
"And you're expecting who to run it when I'm incapable?" She spat.
Jaejoong didn't reply, but his brows were crushing each other in a deep frown.
"You're turning your back on this for a man?" She continued.
Jaejoong sighed, "Umma, why is it so hard for you to accept that I love him? That this is the way I chose to live?"
She sneered, "What do you see me as? Your dumb father? You think I'll accept this disgrace with open arms and give you my blessings?"
Her words nibbled at parts of Jaejoong's heart, but he ignored it. What was he expecting from his mother anyway?
"I'm sorry umma, I have other things to attend to" He bowed slightly, his hand reaching for the handle of the door.
"If you open that door Jaejoong, then that means you're refusing my last offer, your last chance. And I'm afraid, the outcome of that wouldn't please any of us" She warned, her voice cool again.
Jaejoong didn't reply, he only bowed again before yanking the handle and stepping out of the car. Mrs. Kim watched in amusement, her thin brow lifted. Love, you say Jaejoong? She scoffed, reaching for her phone.
When the beeping sound stopped, she spoke.
"Hello Dr. Shin? It's me, yes, Mrs. Kim"
*
He adjusted the beanie on Changmin's head, stroking his pale cheeks and kissing it as he lulled him to sleep. When he heard the soft knock on the door, he leaned carefully towards Changmin, making sure his lover was comfortably asleep before replying to the knock.
Dr. Shin was standing by the door, he quietly asked Jaejoong to follow him to his office. Jaejoong nodded in agreement and followed, looking away and breaking his curious stare when the Doctor would twist his neck and check on him. Jaejoong couldn't help but notice the swarming sweat on the bald man's head that was glistering under the fluorescent tubes. He also nearly stumbled in his walk, flushing Jaejoong a sheepish smile after doing so. And when they arrived at his office, he fumbled with the chain of keys and dropped it.
"Are you okay Dr. Shin?" Jaejoong asked, watching the man worriedly as he slumped on the seat behind the desk.
Dr. Shin assured him with a smile, dabbing his sweat with his handkerchief. When he was finally calm, he allowed himself to speak.
"I'm not actually allowed to tell you this" He leaned forward, whispering.
Jaejoong cocked his brows, blinking in confusion.
"What is it Dr. Shin? Is it about Changmin?" He asked, suddenly eager.
Dr. Shin shook his head fast, his expression firm and serious. His hand disappeared in his pocket as he revealed a dark rectangular paper. He handed it quickly to Jaejoong.
"That's Dr. Choi, he's a specialist in brain cancers. 75% of his operations were successful and I still see hope for Changmin's case. But you'll have to promise me to keep this between us Jaejoong, It's against the rules in our hospital to recommend private doctors, okay?" He was whispering again.
"I promise" Jaejoong held one palm out, clutching the small paper in his other hand as bubbles of hope fumed inside of him.
Dr. Shing tugged his necktie loose when the door closed behind Jaejoong. The words of admiration and gratefulness Jaejoong offered him were still ringing in his head. Of course, guilt played its role here, but the money that would fit him and his family for two lifetimes was definitely irresistible.
He finally dropped his weight on the chair, ignoring the screech it produced. His thick fingers jabbed the green button on his mobile, dialing the new number on his contact list.
"Mrs. Kim?"
*
Jaejoong was grinning as he bounced on the streets, humming happily to himself as he made his way to Dr. Choi's office. He figured that maybe he could get Changmin an appointment tonight and surprise him by tomorrow.
A chilly blow of air suddenly attacked him and he shuddered, tucking his hands in his pockets after flipping the collar of his jacket upward. He can't afford catching a cold now. Not when Changmin needed him the most.
Nearly half an hour later, Jaejoong was standing in front a glass door. The job title and the full name of Dr. Choi were printed in a shade of gold on it. Jaejoong knocked twice, and a woman greeted him by the door. After inviting him in the empty clinic, she asked him to proceed to the left, where another glass door was positioned.
Jaejoong rapped his knuckles softly on the glass door, and a male voice gave him permission to enter.
"Hello" He heard the same voice say.
Dr. Choi turned out to be younger than Jaejoong expected him to be. Actually, he didn't look like a doctor at all. He was taller than Jaejoong, that's for sure. But he looked years younger than him. His raven black hair was left to dangle behind his ears and on his nape, while his fringe was slightly parted by the left as they rested on his forehead. His build was strong and masculine, it was easy to point out since the ashen coast he had on looked rather tight on him.
He bowed politely at Jaejoong, offering him the seat before his desk.
Once Jaejoong was seated and introductions were exchanged, Jaejoong started explaining Changmin's situation and medical record to the man. He took Shiwon's nods as sign that he was still on track, but didn't like the fact that the man was staring at parts of his body while doing so.
When he was done speaking, Dr. Choi took his turn. He started to give details about the whole procedure. His talk was fast and simple, unlike Jaejoong. And he concluded it by giving the value of each procedure.
An immense weight was suddenly dropped on Jaejoong's shoulder. He was so excited about the whole thing that he forgot he was being charged for it. His lips automatically shifted downwards, the bubbles of hope inside of him were bursting in turns. The familiar salty lump was back on his throat again. He can't afford this, not when his mother cut him of his inheritance and pulled all of his credit cards.
"I'm afraid I can't afford it now, I'll come back as soon as I get the sufficient amount" He uttered sadly. How was he going to get the money required, he had not the slightest idea.
"Actually, I think you can afford this" Shiwon said, instantly attracting the teary eyes that were now watching him is desperate hope.
"Would you like to come to my apartment?" Shiwon offered.
Pairings: YunJae
Length: Chaptered
Jaejoong held his position, his shaky palm covering him mouth. He feared his silent sob might escape, and that would only hurt his beloved. He took advantage of the nurses hovering around and hid behind them. The faint moans and whimpers came with his final gasp, declaring the end of his tears. Finally, when all the needles and machines were intact, the nurses disappeared in a snap.
They were alone now in the room. The set of chocolate eyes were staring at him, and Jaejoong managed to smile. He was afraid to speak so soon, because the salty lump was still blocking his throat. He took small steps toward the man and cleared his throat.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, not liking his husky voice.
The bedridden man only smiled; a lifeless smile though. His free hand reached for Jaejoong, and Jaejoong immediately took it. With the sheer power left in him, he pulled Jaejoong closer. The older male resisted at first, afraid that his weight might hurt the man, but the sudden eagerness showing in Changmin's eyes forced him to give in.
His head rested on Changmin's broad chest, the ragged breath became clearer in Jaejoong's ear. Using the same free hand, Changmin stroked Jaejoong's cheeks. His chalky lips parted slowly as he spoke,
"You were crying, weren't you?"
Jaejoong pressed his eyelids together; his tears were already grouping by his eyes. After a sudden intake of air, he spoke.
"No, I wasn't crying. Everything will be fine so there's no need to cry, right?" Jaejoong uttered in a fake cheerful tone, repeating Changmin's usual words.
"That's my boy" Changmin replied. His hand found Jaejoong's chin and he lifted it, making Jaejoong face him. Their eyes met, but Jaejoong looked away. Changmin only chuckled and pressed his cold lips on Jaejoong's.
Jaejoong froze, not because of how sour Changmin tasted, but because of the kiss. It was… simply.. different. Chagmin's chopped lips molded with his in a yearning manner, unwilling to let go. Was it desire? Or was he making up before…leaving?
Jaejoong pushed the thought aside as he gently pushed Changmin.
"I'll go and get my lunch" He uttered hastily before dashing out of the room. His feet led him to the male's restroom, where he slid down the wall and surrendered to his tears.
Could it be that Changmin heard what Dr. Shin told him? That Changmin had a maximum of two weeks only left? Or did Changmin sense it already?
His chest heaved as he gasped again. He used all his will power to make the tears stop, but he couldn't, he knew he couldn't. It just hurts. It hurts deeply, especially the part where you couldn't do anything for your loved one, where you'd only watch them helplessly as they fly away.
*
Jaejoong decided to grab some food before returning, not only that he didn't want what he said to Changmin to be a lie, but also because his eyes were terribly swollen. No way will he face Changmin like this. The younger male would probably spend his sleepless night twisting in guilt. And it wouldn't be the first time.
A faint smile pulled at his lips when he arrived at the grocery store nearby, they had a new stock of Changmin's favorite cup-noodles, and he was carrying a bag full of it when he left.
He swung the bag in his hand, already imagining Changmin's thrilled expression if he saw it. His mind was still occupied in picturing Changmin when he heard his name. Instinctively, he made a sharp turn to face the source of the voice, and how he wished he didn't.
The front window of the limousine was rolled down, and he saw the man calling him. The black tinted car screeched as it parked on the pavement next to him. And before he knew it, he was being ushered inside.
She was in her usual seat. Clad in expensive fur coat and hair curled prettily just above her shoulders. Although time had had its fair share of her, she still looked beautiful, Jaejoong had to admit that. Her face was frozen, like always, and it really took her a great of effort to smile.
"How are you Jaejoong?" She asked, voice as cold as her face.
"I'm fine umma" Jaejoong replied politely, watching her twirl the shaft of tobacco between her thin gloved fingers.
"Have you considered my offer?" She mused, her cheeks were sucked in as she gracefully took a huff at her tobacco.
Jaejoong sighed, his voice was extremely soft as he spoke, "Umma, I told you already, I have no interest in taking over the company"
She momentarily stared at him, her dark arrogant eyes piercing through him. When she spoke again, her voice was a notch higher.
"And you're expecting who to run it when I'm incapable?" She spat.
Jaejoong didn't reply, but his brows were crushing each other in a deep frown.
"You're turning your back on this for a man?" She continued.
Jaejoong sighed, "Umma, why is it so hard for you to accept that I love him? That this is the way I chose to live?"
She sneered, "What do you see me as? Your dumb father? You think I'll accept this disgrace with open arms and give you my blessings?"
Her words nibbled at parts of Jaejoong's heart, but he ignored it. What was he expecting from his mother anyway?
"I'm sorry umma, I have other things to attend to" He bowed slightly, his hand reaching for the handle of the door.
"If you open that door Jaejoong, then that means you're refusing my last offer, your last chance. And I'm afraid, the outcome of that wouldn't please any of us" She warned, her voice cool again.
Jaejoong didn't reply, he only bowed again before yanking the handle and stepping out of the car. Mrs. Kim watched in amusement, her thin brow lifted. Love, you say Jaejoong? She scoffed, reaching for her phone.
When the beeping sound stopped, she spoke.
"Hello Dr. Shin? It's me, yes, Mrs. Kim"
*
He adjusted the beanie on Changmin's head, stroking his pale cheeks and kissing it as he lulled him to sleep. When he heard the soft knock on the door, he leaned carefully towards Changmin, making sure his lover was comfortably asleep before replying to the knock.
Dr. Shin was standing by the door, he quietly asked Jaejoong to follow him to his office. Jaejoong nodded in agreement and followed, looking away and breaking his curious stare when the Doctor would twist his neck and check on him. Jaejoong couldn't help but notice the swarming sweat on the bald man's head that was glistering under the fluorescent tubes. He also nearly stumbled in his walk, flushing Jaejoong a sheepish smile after doing so. And when they arrived at his office, he fumbled with the chain of keys and dropped it.
"Are you okay Dr. Shin?" Jaejoong asked, watching the man worriedly as he slumped on the seat behind the desk.
Dr. Shin assured him with a smile, dabbing his sweat with his handkerchief. When he was finally calm, he allowed himself to speak.
"I'm not actually allowed to tell you this" He leaned forward, whispering.
Jaejoong cocked his brows, blinking in confusion.
"What is it Dr. Shin? Is it about Changmin?" He asked, suddenly eager.
Dr. Shin shook his head fast, his expression firm and serious. His hand disappeared in his pocket as he revealed a dark rectangular paper. He handed it quickly to Jaejoong.
"That's Dr. Choi, he's a specialist in brain cancers. 75% of his operations were successful and I still see hope for Changmin's case. But you'll have to promise me to keep this between us Jaejoong, It's against the rules in our hospital to recommend private doctors, okay?" He was whispering again.
"I promise" Jaejoong held one palm out, clutching the small paper in his other hand as bubbles of hope fumed inside of him.
Dr. Shing tugged his necktie loose when the door closed behind Jaejoong. The words of admiration and gratefulness Jaejoong offered him were still ringing in his head. Of course, guilt played its role here, but the money that would fit him and his family for two lifetimes was definitely irresistible.
He finally dropped his weight on the chair, ignoring the screech it produced. His thick fingers jabbed the green button on his mobile, dialing the new number on his contact list.
"Mrs. Kim?"
*
Jaejoong was grinning as he bounced on the streets, humming happily to himself as he made his way to Dr. Choi's office. He figured that maybe he could get Changmin an appointment tonight and surprise him by tomorrow.
A chilly blow of air suddenly attacked him and he shuddered, tucking his hands in his pockets after flipping the collar of his jacket upward. He can't afford catching a cold now. Not when Changmin needed him the most.
Nearly half an hour later, Jaejoong was standing in front a glass door. The job title and the full name of Dr. Choi were printed in a shade of gold on it. Jaejoong knocked twice, and a woman greeted him by the door. After inviting him in the empty clinic, she asked him to proceed to the left, where another glass door was positioned.
Jaejoong rapped his knuckles softly on the glass door, and a male voice gave him permission to enter.
"Hello" He heard the same voice say.
Dr. Choi turned out to be younger than Jaejoong expected him to be. Actually, he didn't look like a doctor at all. He was taller than Jaejoong, that's for sure. But he looked years younger than him. His raven black hair was left to dangle behind his ears and on his nape, while his fringe was slightly parted by the left as they rested on his forehead. His build was strong and masculine, it was easy to point out since the ashen coast he had on looked rather tight on him.
He bowed politely at Jaejoong, offering him the seat before his desk.
Once Jaejoong was seated and introductions were exchanged, Jaejoong started explaining Changmin's situation and medical record to the man. He took Shiwon's nods as sign that he was still on track, but didn't like the fact that the man was staring at parts of his body while doing so.
When he was done speaking, Dr. Choi took his turn. He started to give details about the whole procedure. His talk was fast and simple, unlike Jaejoong. And he concluded it by giving the value of each procedure.
An immense weight was suddenly dropped on Jaejoong's shoulder. He was so excited about the whole thing that he forgot he was being charged for it. His lips automatically shifted downwards, the bubbles of hope inside of him were bursting in turns. The familiar salty lump was back on his throat again. He can't afford this, not when his mother cut him of his inheritance and pulled all of his credit cards.
"I'm afraid I can't afford it now, I'll come back as soon as I get the sufficient amount" He uttered sadly. How was he going to get the money required, he had not the slightest idea.
"Actually, I think you can afford this" Shiwon said, instantly attracting the teary eyes that were now watching him is desperate hope.
"Would you like to come to my apartment?" Shiwon offered.