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[xandrov_lives]

I keep wondering if I should even use the money she gave me. It's blood money. Tainted somehow. I'd be using it to study. To live. But do I deserve to

Comments

[yranoitulover]

In my opinion, the way to clean blood money is to use it for good. It doesn't help anyone, sitting there doing nothing.

I know you to be a good man, Dimitri. Your conscience will tell you what is best.

[xandrov_lives]

My conscience tells me I never should have let her leave alone in the first place. She said she wanted to do it alone. I never should have listened.

[yranoitulover]

It sounds like she was a very strong-willed woman. I don't know if there would have been any "letting" involved. I don't wish to see you feel guilty for another person's actions, Dimitri. That doesn't make this any fairer.

[xandrov_lives]

Yeah.

[dj_crowley]

I would be a hypocrite if I told you not to spend the money.

I don't know what more can be done with your family situation for now, but if you need to get away, I'm sure we can find space for you here.

[xandrov_lives]

No you wouldn't, Alexei. It's like...Katja's giving me this money to make up for what...marrying some other guy? Leaving me? Well it doesn't fucking make up for that! And I don't want it to look like it does.

I think a muzzle might work.

[dj_crowley]

I understand. It certainly doesn't. There are many places that would benefit from the money, that would honour her memory. You have options.

I have no basis upon which to argue with your solution, there.

[xandrov_lives]

Yeah...but now I feel guilty if I do use it to study because other people need to benefit too. Dammit.