[public]

[xandtheman3]

Hello, Magical Journal Land,

Today I discovered Twilight. Completely by accident.

I only wish all vampires in every universe sparkled.

No really.

Sparkles would have been such a better nickname for Deadboy. It'd go along so perfectly with his flamboyant personality, too.

Comments

[shealone_stands]

...Sparkles?

[xandtheman3]

The vampires sparkle in that movie, Buffster. Sparkle.

Like they're covered in too many bottles of body glitter kind of sparkling. Throw him up in the sky, and he could be stars kind of sparkling.

I'm sure you'd appreciate a more sparkly Deadboy, wouldn't you? I know I would have.

[shealone_stands]

No. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't.

And could you stop calling him that?

[xandtheman3]

It's... habit!

I'll try to stop! Really.

Would you prefer Sparkles?

Yeah, I'm gonna shut up now.

[thehighestwing]

How do you discover that by accident?

[xandtheman3]

I have discovered the internet, Pheebs. The internet is a big, scary place. It's easy to take a wrong turn there. It's easy to get so far away from your destination that you're standing in front of train tracks when you meant to go to the beach, and suddenly, there's a train crash! People are running out of that train, on fire, screaming. Some are running to it, trying to jump into the crashed train, and you're yelling, WHY? Why would you do that? It's the most disgusting, terrifying thing that you've ever witnessed... and it sparkles.

That's what happened to me.

It was very traumatic, Phoebe. Very traumatic.

[thehighestwing]

Huh. I actually followed all that.

So, what was your destination?

[xandtheman3]

I don't remember.

Maybe bikini pictures

I was distracted by the sparkly train crash.

[oncekittentits]

FUCK SPARKLING.

[oncekittentits]

I'm fucking serious. Fuck. That shit is. Fucking bullshit.

[xandtheman3]

I agree.

I've met vampires.

They didn't sparkle.

If they did, it'd probably be harder to stake them.

[oncekittentits]

Why the fuck would it fucking make it fucking harder to fucking stake a fucking vampire if they fucking sparkled? And why wouldn't you just fucking try to fucking cut their head off? It's fucking easier and then you fucking know they're fucking dead.

[quiettotheend]

You're Xander Harris.

[xandtheman3]

...yes?

I mean, yes.

I am.

Why?

[quiettotheend]

Can we have coffee some time?

[xandtheman3]

Sure!

I'm all for coffee, especially when there are pancakes involved, too. Or waffles. Gotta love a good waffle.

But why do you want to have coffee with me?

I feel like I'm missing something.

[deepestindigo]

i've got a whole lot of body glitter and a baaaaad idea.

i blame you.

[deepestindigo]

...i wonder if you could do glitter balloons*. like water balloons, only with sparkles.

*do not try this at home unless you're very fast or you can fly.

[xandtheman3]

If there's one thing I've learned in this universe and the last,

Anything is possible.

Even glitter balloons.

And people who can fly.

And hopefully (very soon), vampires who sparkle!

You'll make all the fangirls go into heat.

[deepestindigo]

see, that's the only reason i would consider aborting.

i mean, twilight fangirls are kind of scary and obsessive, and most of them aren't that smart (edward's, like, textbook abusive creep, and how do they not get that?), but i'd worry about what a grouchy sparkly vampire would do to one of them when they tried to glompattack the source of the sparkles.

...do i lose demon points for that? i mean, some bloodshed's cool, but i usually try to restrict it to people who really have it coming. i don't think twilight fans count.