I feel like I lost everyone when I lost Ryan. Perhaps I just lost myself, but I feel like I have no one to care about me now. I feel like my friends abandoned me which I know probably is not true. Sometimes though, I feel like I can just drop everything when one of my friends is upset, but they cannot do the same for me. I just can't deal with ( Read more... )

I was at work today and some guy asked for my number. Now, no guy in my history has ever asked for my number, EVER. And I would never expect a guy to ask for my number when I look like absolute shit. Here I am working, this guy comes in with his parents. I'm dressed in drab ass clothing, gray plain shirt and black pants, my hair is so dirty and ( Read more... )

i was having a conversation with vani earlier about how i feel i can't connect to anyone at seton hall.  then i thought about it a while and i'm still thinking about it right now.  i miss people, i truly do.  i feel like ree is gone because she is so far away in england.  i worry about her, but i never get to tell her that because i never get to ( Read more... )

I need a car....poo

Wow...what a lot of shit came my week so far, not to mention this lovely all nighter

Bad Parts:

- Cat decided to pee in the bolex camera case...yummy

- locked my keys and $5,000 worth of equipment belonging to the school in my car in newark for five or so hours, missing hosting duties in television studio class in the process of waiting for my car ( Read more... )

I've done it again...so what. Its my life and my decision the last time i checked. If I get hurt then its my problem and I'll deal with it my way. I'm a lot stronger I think since September so hopefully I don't end up in a puddle this time. Otherwise I will just pick myself back up, end of story. For now I'm happy and I like it that way ( Read more... )

halloween has been odd feeling...to say the least...

anyway, anyone want to go see CKY with me on wednesday? I have a free ticket! but wait, i have no friends so it doesn't matter now does it...
but do feel free to bum a free concert off of me...

So its been like almost a month since I decided to grace you all with the fact that I'm alive and writing. There isn't much to say that doesn't get into the residual bullshit that seems to surround my life at all times. It really doesn't have to deal with me, I'm just not liking what I'm seeing. Haha, this feels a little bit secretive, but then ( Read more... )

i had one of those almost famous moments tonight ( Read more... )

i'm getting better....i promise ( Read more... )