im tired. and im sick AND tired of life ( Read more... )

is it bad to be afraid? is it bad to be in fear for your life every moment of the day? is it bad to fall asleep at night, worrying, and not being able to close your eyes? all i feel right now is a piercing fright that will not leave my bones, which it runs deep down into. i feel like i am on the edge of my seat, knowing something is going to happen ( Read more... )

and once again love was lost

every day i miss him more and more and i reach... i reach for him and hes not there and i know he could be... but i dont deserve it and thats what is holding me back. from begging for forgiveness. is the fact that i could have something i shouldnt. it would a greedy and selfish thing to ask for him back. the love of my life... resist me... because ( Read more... )

well im satisfied. im okay with me and sara not being friends right now, and im okay with mike not talking to me, and im okay with failing math because ive done the best i could, and im okay with having to pitch because marcy is really nice. i have other friends. some fairweather friends, and maybe one or two close ones. if sara decides she wants ( Read more... )

minus the huge F in precalc and minus the if-im-lucky C in english... life is good. stressed. but good. i havent had a moment to myself in like a month but thats okay. im doing some 17 hour days every single day and working my ass off at 17 different things.

boy situation == dead.

but thats good. because i suck at life anyway.

things wrong with last night.

a. bum fight
b. cops
c. val

cool!

( Read more... )

so lesson learned in all this: i am shit. dont be my friend. dont be my boyfriend. no matter how good you are. i am still shit and i will still ruin everything between us one way or another.

way to suck at life.

i let go of the best thing that had ever happened to me.