Merlin 4.Whatever
And we start off with some lovely discrimination in the workplace. Nice.
Er, Arthur, I hate to say it, but - that’s a washing line. They are clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel here. This week: "Merlin and the particularly cursed washing line!" Tune in next week for Merlin and the Washing-Up Brush of DOOOOM.
WHY does everyone disregard Merlin? Ridiculous.
“I could FEEEEEEL it!!”
Oh, and it’s the Druids. Of course.
“Ribbons and flags”? Dude, there was a SOCK there. A SOCK.
Hey, so I’m guessing Elyan’s cursed, or possessed - and GAIUS just backed me up, which means I must be right, because when is Gaius ever wrong? Why don’t they just call Gaius ‘Plot Exposition Character’ and have done? He could be PEC for short!
Also, did anyone else think the - HOLY JESUS FUCK THAT IS HORRIFYING!!! Creepy drowned kid, Jesus fuck!
Also, my friend just said “Arthur makes Merlin look interesting.” Good lord.
And Merlin is now a - OK, so Arthur is literally now just beating the fuck out of Merlin. And everyone else is too. Fucking hell, Elyan, just beat Merlin into the ground and Arthur’s only response is “dude, OK, that’s enough”. It might as well have been “You’ll ruin that sword!”
URGH, goddammit.
OH, GAIUS. “When I want your opinion I’ll ask you.”
But, um, Gaius, what did you think that white circle was made of? Coke? Is Elyan now the secret drug mule of Camelot?
Oh, ffs, Arthur, you are such a twat. Merlin was literally BEATEN on your orders today, and you can’t say anything nicer than “get out”?
The knights used to be nice to Merlin, and now they’re basically like “ahahaha, he’s the funniest thing ever, he was having the shit kicked out of him, lolcakes!” Awesome, guys. I hate all of you.
Gaius: “You must make him believe you!” “Yeah, that’s gonna be simple. Piece of cake. What do you think would work best, flash cards, or interpretive dance?”
Um, Elyan, you’re hugging the creepy child- AND HE WANTS YOU TO KILL ARTHUR, BET YOU.
Shock horror, I’m right.
Friends summary: “This happens every time - they go into the wood (of course), one of them gets cursed or possessed (of course), and then they try to kill Arthur (of course).” This is so familiar.
Go on, Percival, hug it out!
...or, um. Punch him. That works too.
Drippy boy is back. I’mna call him ‘drip’ from now on.
Why would you tell Agravaine these thoughts? Dude, he’s clearly evil. He’s an uncle, he’s got black hair, and he’s played by Nathanial Parker. CLEARLY EVIL.
Oh, Arthur. “Leave me! I will just sit here and do some pondering.”
Gaius, your facial expressions are amazing. Also, that was very monty Python - did I miss out that part?
Was that Merlin’s specific barrel-tipping spell? Dude, wtf.
Also, how dim were those guards? “deeeerp. Let’s chase this barrel.”
The knights are consistently fucking vile to Merlin, why are they such arses? and why does Merlin keep going back for more? This show is made up entirely of emotional sadomasochists.
Also, lol, Gaius, continuity there. Very nice. “NEVER GO BACK! ...lets go back.”
Urgh.
(Nice staff, Gaius. You’re clearly taking notes from Elderly Sorcerer Magazine - are you setting yourself up as Gandalf now?)
Oh - oh, Colin Morgan, my heart BREAKS for you. You are so good at the crying acting!
Um, our TV is fucked up, so I’m getting smippets of this and nothing else. That entire fight scene was focussing in and out, and we had nothing in the way of anything after this.
ETA: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? Jesus, Arthur, so you were young. (I have to admit, darlings and gentlebeans, I did get most of this through a haze of weird static and constant stops and starts- internet hates this house as much as tv signal does - but SERIOUSLY, Arthur, you drowned the kid. I don't even.
Hooray, the Druids will be recognised as people, so long as Arthur doesn't renege on his promise, but he was still party to child murder. God, guys, That is NUTS.
(My mind went to a dirty wrong place when Arthur chased Merlin and we then heard the 'oof' noise, though. ¬_¬)
And once again, no apologies from any knight after they treated Merlin like shit. What is this!? Maybe they needed Lancelot to remind them that Merlin was human. *LE MEGA SIGH*
It cut out altogether after that, so forgive the shortness of this whole thing. :D To iPlayer! More may come later. (Be afraid. Be very afraid. :D)
(Also, 'smippet'. New word. ¬_¬)