Fic - Stay - Carson/Rodney - R
Title: Stay
Pairing: Carson/Rodney
Rating: R
Word Count: ~1111
Summary: After the events in “38 minutes”. A simple request threatens to change a relationship.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
AN: For the mcbeckchallenge prompt table ‘missing scenes’. Prompt is the episode “38 Minutes”. My table can be found here.
The mattress creaks when Rodney moves on it, and he sucks in a sharp breath. He doesn’t want to wake Carson so he slowly inches his way from the middle of the bed to the edge. His hand reaches over and grips the small ledge of the bedside table, and he’s about to get up when he feels soft fingers on his arm.
“Where’re you goin’?” Carson asks, his voice heavy with sleep.
“Back to my quarters.”
“Stay the night.”
It’s a request and not a question, Rodney realizes and he doesn’t know how to respond. They’ve been doing this for almost a month, and neither ever spend the night. There’s nothing romantic about their relationship - no hand holding or cuddling or little love letters. It’s about them needing a release, and finding it in each other.
“Stay?” Rodney asks.
The word is foreign to him. No one ever asks Rodney McKay to stay. Not the girl in college, or the man he met while working in Russia. Both always seemed eager to get him out of their bed once they were finished.
“Rodney...?”
He feels the bed shift next to him, and Rodney thickly swallows. Turning his head, Rodney looks at Carson. The other man’s face is lit by the soft moonlight filtering through his half-open blinds. After a month of fucking him, Rodney knows Carson like the back of his hand. He knows Carson’s little quirks and all of his expressions. And the look on his face tells Rodney his request is sincere.
“Is it because I almost died today? Because we almost die on a daily basis. Today isn’t different from yesterday.” Rodney feels like a jerk for saying it, but he doesn’t know how else to handle all of this.
With a weary sigh, Carson shifts on the bed again, and stares up at the ceiling. Rodney knows Carson’s feelings are hurt. It hurts him to see Carson like this, and that realization makes Rodney’s heart start to pound in his chest. Any other time he might have thought he was having a heart attack, but he’s smart enough to know what is happening.
The rules of their relationship are changing. They’re becoming more complicated, and Rodney doesn’t mind.
“I’m sorry, Carson.”
The apology is the best Rodney can muster at the moment. He distracts himself by running his hand on the cool piece of bed sheet between them. He doesn’t know if Carson will accept it, and wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.
“You could have died today, Rodney.” Carson turns his head and there’s enough in the room for Rodney to see the tears brimming in the other man’s eyes.
God, he was such a jerk. No wonder none of his relationships lasted.
“But I almost died last week and you didn’t--.”
“I did,” Carson whispers. “Ever single time, Rodney.” He pauses and Rodney watches his face take on a thoughtful look before it softens. “While I was helping Major Sheppard, all I could think about was you. I wanted to ask but I didn’t think you wanted me to.”
Rodney continues to stare at Carson, his mouth going dry as the emotions of the situation hits him. If he were honest with himself, Rodney knows this stopped being about sex weeks ago. Their encounters had gone from fast and frenzied to slow and loving.
And he knows he’s in love with everything Carson Beckett is. Rodney could make a list of all the things he loves about Carson - everything from his deep dimples to the way he feels buried inside him. He dreams of this moment almost nightly and now it’s here. All he has to do is say yes.
“When Ford was yelling at me, all I could think about was how I wished you were there with me.” Rodney knows it’s not the answer Carson wants, but it’s a start.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Carson asks. He slowly closes the gap between them, and Rodney lets him.
What he needs to say is on the tip of his tongue. One simple word, and everything will change.
“Yes,” he finally says.
*
When morning comes - much like it does everyday - Rodney wakes to find himself tangled in a mess of sheets. Arms are wrapped around his body and skin is pressed against his back. He remembers the night before and the long conversation he had with Carson. They fell asleep together and waking up in his lover’s arms feels nice.
He shifts in Carson’s arms, laughing at the death grip he has on him. Rodney finally manages to roll to his other side so he’s facing his lover. He doesn’t say anything; instead, he just watches Carson sleep. He looks relaxed and happy.
“It’s not polite to stare,” Carson mumbles without opening his eyes.
Rodney doesn’t apologize. He reaches up and runs the back of his hand over the stubble on Carson’s face and finds himself grinning. “I was just watching. Not staring,” he points out. “And what’s with the death grip?” He wriggles in Carson’s arms to demonstrate what he means.
“Couldn’t let you go.” Carson opens his eyes and grins. “I’m rather fond of you, you know.”
Rodney softly chuckles and wriggles again. “You’ll have to let me go sooner or later. A man’s gotta eat,” he points out.
“You keep wriggling and I’ll have an excuse to keep you a bit longer, love,” Carson says with a chuckle of his own.
Rodney smiles at Carson’s new term of endearment for him. It’s the most loving thing anyone has ever called him. And he wants to stay in bed and show Carson just how wonderful it is, but Rodney knows both of them have things to do. But before he leaves, Rodney knows there’s one last thing he needs to tell Carson.
“I love you.”
The words flow out and there’s no stumbling over them. They’re true and Rodney knows he will always love Carson in one form or another.
“I love you, too.”
He smiles at Carson’s declaration before he slips out of bed. Rodney grabs his clothes and throws them on, not caring if he looks wrinkled. He knows he’ll look presentable before the morning’s staff meeting. And once he’s dressed, he leans over the bed and gives Carson another kiss.
“I’ll see you later.”
“Aye.”
As Rodney walks out of Carson’s quarters, he knows his life might be put in danger once again. But he also know he now has a place in Carson’s heart and bed, and the feelings he feels for the other man will be enough to get him through.
Pairing: Carson/Rodney
Rating: R
Word Count: ~1111
Summary: After the events in “38 minutes”. A simple request threatens to change a relationship.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
AN: For the mcbeckchallenge prompt table ‘missing scenes’. Prompt is the episode “38 Minutes”. My table can be found here.
The mattress creaks when Rodney moves on it, and he sucks in a sharp breath. He doesn’t want to wake Carson so he slowly inches his way from the middle of the bed to the edge. His hand reaches over and grips the small ledge of the bedside table, and he’s about to get up when he feels soft fingers on his arm.
“Where’re you goin’?” Carson asks, his voice heavy with sleep.
“Back to my quarters.”
“Stay the night.”
It’s a request and not a question, Rodney realizes and he doesn’t know how to respond. They’ve been doing this for almost a month, and neither ever spend the night. There’s nothing romantic about their relationship - no hand holding or cuddling or little love letters. It’s about them needing a release, and finding it in each other.
“Stay?” Rodney asks.
The word is foreign to him. No one ever asks Rodney McKay to stay. Not the girl in college, or the man he met while working in Russia. Both always seemed eager to get him out of their bed once they were finished.
“Rodney...?”
He feels the bed shift next to him, and Rodney thickly swallows. Turning his head, Rodney looks at Carson. The other man’s face is lit by the soft moonlight filtering through his half-open blinds. After a month of fucking him, Rodney knows Carson like the back of his hand. He knows Carson’s little quirks and all of his expressions. And the look on his face tells Rodney his request is sincere.
“Is it because I almost died today? Because we almost die on a daily basis. Today isn’t different from yesterday.” Rodney feels like a jerk for saying it, but he doesn’t know how else to handle all of this.
With a weary sigh, Carson shifts on the bed again, and stares up at the ceiling. Rodney knows Carson’s feelings are hurt. It hurts him to see Carson like this, and that realization makes Rodney’s heart start to pound in his chest. Any other time he might have thought he was having a heart attack, but he’s smart enough to know what is happening.
The rules of their relationship are changing. They’re becoming more complicated, and Rodney doesn’t mind.
“I’m sorry, Carson.”
The apology is the best Rodney can muster at the moment. He distracts himself by running his hand on the cool piece of bed sheet between them. He doesn’t know if Carson will accept it, and wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.
“You could have died today, Rodney.” Carson turns his head and there’s enough in the room for Rodney to see the tears brimming in the other man’s eyes.
God, he was such a jerk. No wonder none of his relationships lasted.
“But I almost died last week and you didn’t--.”
“I did,” Carson whispers. “Ever single time, Rodney.” He pauses and Rodney watches his face take on a thoughtful look before it softens. “While I was helping Major Sheppard, all I could think about was you. I wanted to ask but I didn’t think you wanted me to.”
Rodney continues to stare at Carson, his mouth going dry as the emotions of the situation hits him. If he were honest with himself, Rodney knows this stopped being about sex weeks ago. Their encounters had gone from fast and frenzied to slow and loving.
And he knows he’s in love with everything Carson Beckett is. Rodney could make a list of all the things he loves about Carson - everything from his deep dimples to the way he feels buried inside him. He dreams of this moment almost nightly and now it’s here. All he has to do is say yes.
“When Ford was yelling at me, all I could think about was how I wished you were there with me.” Rodney knows it’s not the answer Carson wants, but it’s a start.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Carson asks. He slowly closes the gap between them, and Rodney lets him.
What he needs to say is on the tip of his tongue. One simple word, and everything will change.
“Yes,” he finally says.
*
When morning comes - much like it does everyday - Rodney wakes to find himself tangled in a mess of sheets. Arms are wrapped around his body and skin is pressed against his back. He remembers the night before and the long conversation he had with Carson. They fell asleep together and waking up in his lover’s arms feels nice.
He shifts in Carson’s arms, laughing at the death grip he has on him. Rodney finally manages to roll to his other side so he’s facing his lover. He doesn’t say anything; instead, he just watches Carson sleep. He looks relaxed and happy.
“It’s not polite to stare,” Carson mumbles without opening his eyes.
Rodney doesn’t apologize. He reaches up and runs the back of his hand over the stubble on Carson’s face and finds himself grinning. “I was just watching. Not staring,” he points out. “And what’s with the death grip?” He wriggles in Carson’s arms to demonstrate what he means.
“Couldn’t let you go.” Carson opens his eyes and grins. “I’m rather fond of you, you know.”
Rodney softly chuckles and wriggles again. “You’ll have to let me go sooner or later. A man’s gotta eat,” he points out.
“You keep wriggling and I’ll have an excuse to keep you a bit longer, love,” Carson says with a chuckle of his own.
Rodney smiles at Carson’s new term of endearment for him. It’s the most loving thing anyone has ever called him. And he wants to stay in bed and show Carson just how wonderful it is, but Rodney knows both of them have things to do. But before he leaves, Rodney knows there’s one last thing he needs to tell Carson.
“I love you.”
The words flow out and there’s no stumbling over them. They’re true and Rodney knows he will always love Carson in one form or another.
“I love you, too.”
He smiles at Carson’s declaration before he slips out of bed. Rodney grabs his clothes and throws them on, not caring if he looks wrinkled. He knows he’ll look presentable before the morning’s staff meeting. And once he’s dressed, he leans over the bed and gives Carson another kiss.
“I’ll see you later.”
“Aye.”
As Rodney walks out of Carson’s quarters, he knows his life might be put in danger once again. But he also know he now has a place in Carson’s heart and bed, and the feelings he feels for the other man will be enough to get him through.