fbr10
A/n: I lied. One more chapter before the ending. Because I was trying to condense everything into one chapter, my author's note for explanation got crazy long. So I'm splitting it.
Anyway, big!Yao returns 8D
Replies to anonymous reviews:
To HappyChappyWeirdo: Thank you for the offer! If you're still interested, please have some way so I can contact you for further discussion. (I hope you don't mind R18?)
To Anna: LOL OMG! That's SUCH a cute idea x'DDD. I can imagine big!Ivan being jealous of his little self if that ever happened LOOOL.
"Yiwan! Hurry! Walk faster!" Yao whined, tugging on Ivan's hand as they trudged through the thick snow.
"We'd walk faster if you would tell me where we're going," The Russian grumbled in annoyance.
At the break of dawn just as the sun was peaking over the horizon, Ivan experienced a rude awakening. He grunted from the pain as little Yao deemed it necessary to pounce on him in an effort to wake him. "Wake up! Wake up! Hurry up and dress, Yiwan! I have a surprise for you!" Yao's cheery voice grated on Ivan's tired mind.
It was too early for Ivan; he didn't have the patience to deal with Yao's unpredictable mood swings. Turning his back on Yao and burrowing deeper into the blankets, he attempted to ignore the hyperactive child and continue his sleep. However, despite their short time together, it seemed Yao also figured out a few ways to deal with Ivan's own temperament.
When Ivan didn't seem like he was going to get up and get ready, Yao took it into his own hands to try and dress the older nation…starting with his pants.
Cold, nimble fingers caressing his buttocks, Ian shot up from his warm bed. "YAO!" Ivan let out a vicious growl, making a grab for the Chinese boy to exact revenge, but Yao was a quick little thing, evading all attempts to capture him. He daintily pranced over to the yurt's entrance with ease, giving Ivan an arrogant smile. "Yiwan, if you don't get dressed quickly, there's more where that came from~"
Ivan could only lie in his bed, staring baffled at the closed flaps. He ran a hand through his tousled hair, reluctantly getting up. He don on the clothes he came in when he first arrived here. They were sturdier. Seriously, if he stayed here any longer, he had a feeling little Yao would be taking his backdoor virginity rather than the other way around.
Ivan cringed at the unsavory (though interesting) thought as he followed the boy to the outskirt of the village. "Are we there yet? I'm hungry. We haven't even eaten breakfast!"
"Almost, almost," Yao replied with a silly grin.
They reached a clearing where snow covered everything. As far as the eye could see, the morning rays reflected the white, snowy ground.
"Here!" Yao pointed to a boulder in the middle of the field. He pushed and bullied until Ivan sat on the protruding rock. "Wait here for me okay?"
"Where are you going?" Ivan called out as Yao scurried away to retrieve his surprise.
"Just wait and see!" The young boy yelled back before disappearing into the forest.
Chuckling, Ivan closed his eyes and leaned back on his hands to bask in the warm sunlight. It was tough being with little Yao. He was continually harassed by both little Yao and his villagers while all the while holding back his urges as Yao unintentionally seduces him. Despite all the hardship though, Ivan was honestly enjoying himself.
A smile crept up the Russian's lips. Yao was a constant source of frustration and joy. With him around, Ivan was never bored, but then again, whenever he was with Yao- young or old- he always found himself content. His amethyst eyes opened to greet the blue, blue sky. It didn't go the way he planned, but he didn't regret his decision in coming here. He was glad he met Yao as a child; got the chance to understand his little lover a bit better. No matter how close he held Yao in his arms or how passionate their kiss, a shroud of sadness always surrounded the Chinese nation. Now he knew why.
He couldn't change much, but for a little while, he wanted to be the pillar of strength for him again. Ivan had forgotten what it was like to have the proud nation lean on him for support. When he goes back, things will return to normal. Yao once again strong, powerful, and facing the world's scrutiny alone. How long will he have until-
The world flashed and spun. Without realizing it, Ivan gazed at the hazy world lying flat on his back- breathing becoming hard for him with every breath. Dread filled his body. It was too soon. He was suppose to have another week.
Ivan lifted his hand towards the sky, the clouds above him seen clearly through his hands. His spell had run out. He was returning back to his present time.
All without saying a goodbye.
Ivan sprang up and ran, following the small footprints in the ground. He had to find him. Find him and tell him to wait. To wait until they meet again millenniums later. It didn't matter if his younger self during Kievan times didn't know who China was. It didn't matter if it took them almost a lifetime time before they became lovers. It only mattered that one day, everything would make sense.
"Don't forget me, don't forget me," Ivan's heart drummed the desperate prayer.
Only the outline of his body was left; a few seconds remaining. Where was he? Yao, Yao, Yao. He had to tell him goodbye. He needed to tell him he was glad they met.
There! Ivan finally found him in a patch of wild flowers. Taking a step, he fell. Gone. His legs were gone. He was gradually disappearing. So close. Yao was only a few feet away, picking happily away at the orchids around him.
"JAO!" Ivan screamed with all this might, but it fell on deaf ears. No sound passed his lips; he long lost his ability to speak.
Yao pursed his mouth, feeling something was off. He turned his head to look behind him. "Yiwan?"
He saw no one
Ivan woke up groggily to a familiar scene. The bed, the curtains- all of it he knew intimately.
He was in Yao's room, back in modern times.
"You're up aru," The man himself appeared, padding quietly towards Ivan lying on the bed. "How are you feeling?"
It was a silent shock to Ivan. Only moments ago, he was staring at Yao's small back, his clothes much bigger than him pooling at the floor. Now, he was staring in the face of Yao all grown up. The soft lines on the little Yao's face hardened into experience of seeing too many wars and too many divisions. The heart he wore on his sleeves as a child was safely tucked away for no one to see. Yao was still sweet and still laughed, but he always felt far away. Ivan smiled, patting the spot beside him. It was only when he teased or annoyed him did he feel the real Yao came out. The tiny pervert never really did disappear, Ivan knew that now.
Yao obligingly sat beside him on the bed. The tips of their fingers almost touched. If Ivan moved a nearest of inches, their hands would brush. But he knew. He was no longer dealing with the Xia boy. This Yao didn't yearn for physical touches or body warmth. He could grab his hand and make advances, but Yao would only become indignant, leaving him alone for the rest of the day. Right now, Ivan didn't want to play some game. He wanted to talk. Just talk.
"How'd I get here?"
"You were gone for a few days aru," Yao ignored his question, "Where were you?"
Ivan shrugged, "Around."
"No one could find you, Ivan. All of us felt your existence suddenly disappear aru." Yao's voice grew softer, indicating how upset he was, "After a week of searching, I felt a thread of ice running through Dengfeng* aru. What were you doing there?"
"Did you tell my boss I was back?"
Yao glared at Ivan's obvious attempt at avoiding the question. "I phoned him the moment I found you aru. I told him you were unconscious, but there were no obvious injury to you. He's sending someone right now to pick you up aru."
"I see…," Ivan calmly replied. His smiling face betrayed none of his inner turmoil. This was the moment that would determine if what he did in the past was a success or failure. Magic was never reliable and time travel a tricky business. So many things could go wrong. Yao could have forgotten him or worse yet, it might have never happened. He had to confirm it, but he was afraid of the truth. What if Yao told him he remembered nothing? Ivan would be the only one to hold their precious memory close; he wouldn't be able to stand it.
"Yao," Ivan gently took hold of the slender hand. They were much bigger and no longer soft like they were when Yao was younger, but they fit perfectly in his hands. "Do you remember when we first met?"
On most occasions, the old nation would remove his hands; this was not an opportune time. He only touched when it was necessary and only briefly- to wipe away dust, to test one's temperature, or something similar. While he doesn't condemn affectionate couples- especially nowadays when even kissing in public was becoming acceptable- he still preferred minimal physical contact. He cherished Ivan's body warmth, but he couldn't change the core of himself in less than 10 decades* when for years and centuries the Confucian ideology was constantly and insistently drilled into him. For so long, he was taught this was what separated him from the barbarians.
The look in Ivan's eyes, however, stopped him from snatching his hand back. Ivan held it gently between his palms with none of his usual playfulness. This was just a simple symbol of their bond and connection. It would be foolish of him to sever it.
"Of course I do aru," Yao huffed out indignantly, his hand squeezing Ivan's, "How could I forget we met in Mongolia's house? We lived together for a few decades aru." Yao sighed, "Are you still going on about my age and faulty memory aru?"
Ivan visibly paled, dropping Yao's hand. "The Golden Horde?"
"Is something wrong, Ivan?" Amber eyes gazed at him with worry, "Maybe you should stay the night and rest. You can return home tomorrow aru."
"Jao," Ivan accidentally let his accent slip, a telltale sign of his anxieties, "Was that really the first time we met? Where there no earlier times we spent time together?"
Yao cupped Ivan's face with his hand while the other smoothed away the worried lines around the Russian's eyes and mouth. Eyes gazed searchingly into Ivan's as Yao's soothing, gently voice questioned him, "Tell me Ivan, what is it you're asking me aru? What is it you really want?"
Ivan stared quietly at him, letting Yao's heat seep into his skin. What was it he wanted? To be Yao's first love? To steal his first kiss? He accomplished none of that. The only thing he had left was the memories he shared with little Yao. If the Yao standing right in front of him told him it never happened, then he had nothing….
"I just had a realistic dream," Ivan said hoarsely, turning his face into the other's hand, "I thought I was still there for a moment."
Yao brought him close, resting his forehead against the larger nation. "Are you still dreaming aru? Have you decided to come back to me yet?"
Softly taking hold of Yao's wrist, Ivan closed his eyes and let himself be enveloped by the other's sweet scent. "I'm back and I'm not going anywhere."
To Ivan's utter shock, even older the Yao had the ability surprise him. It was a rare occasion when the older man initiated the kiss. Ivan complained to Yao once that he cared more about his beliefs than he did about him. Yao's answer to his complaint amused him to no end. After some constant pestering, Yao finally admitted it wasn't because he didn't want to. There were multiple occasions where the time and place were just right for kissing, but because their height difference was so great, it was both stupid and difficult for him to try and pull Ivan in for a kiss. It was only when the larger man was sitting or lying down did Yao try to swoop in for the prize.
Needless to say, once Ivan found out that little bit of juicy morsel, he made it as difficult as it could be for Yao to catch him unguarded. He liked kissing, but he liked an annoyed Yao even more.
Still, Yao was never one to miss an opportunity. With Ivan resting in his bed, their lips brushed. It was an undemanding, slow kiss. Modest. Gentle. It meant welcome back home. The meaning changed when the kiss deepened. It now it spoke of eternity and stopping time. Ivan understood with this kiss, even if they didn't share the same past, they had the right here and right now.
"I'll…I'll let you rest then," Yao broke the kiss, getting off the bed and dusting his pants nervously, "I'll ask if you can spend the night aru. You still seem exhausted."
"Does that mean I'll be sleeping with you?" Ivan teased
"Wh-what are you saying aru!" A ferocious blush encompassed Yao's face, turning it bright red, "You need your sleep aru!"
Ivan laughed. Apparently it seemed he wasn't the only one to misinterpret what 'sleeping' meant. "I was asking if I would be sleeping in your room with you. That kind of sleep."
Yao turned away turned away to hide his embarrassment, but Ivan could still see the tips of other's ear becoming pink as well. "W-whatever you want aru. I'll go bring you something to eat." The Chinese nation stormed out the door with Ivan's laughter chasing after him.
It was stupid of him to make that kind of mistake, Yao thought, chopping the green onions angrily. Whenever Ivan wanted sex, he said sex or even perhaps making love. The onions were swept to the side, replaced by some boney pork meat. Never did he say "sleep together". Thud. The sound of knife hitting wood reverberated loudly in the kitchen. It was too tame of a word for him. Thud. Off comes the pig's feet. Argh, he was never going to live down this humiliation.
Covering his face, Yao found a stool to sit on as he imagined the oncoming teasing he would have to endure from now on. He couldn't help it though. His body collapsed from relief when they finally found Ivan lying in the middle of Dengfeng alive.
When Ivan disappeared, Yao- and every other nation- felt it. Initially this sent all the nations into panic, but when they tried to search for him, they found a note Ivan scrawled telling everyone he was going on a little vacation and would be back at the end of the month. This mostly calmed everyone - some even joked this was like a vacation in itself since Ivan wasn't around to terrorize people- but Yao felt as if a big part was ripped out of him. His old anxieties came back full force.
It had happened again. Ivan disappeared without word like he did millenniums ago. Would Ivan really return by the end of the month or would he have to wait thousands and thousands of years again to embrace him. Yao couldn't stand the uncertainty.
He took a deep, calming breath. It was fine. Everything was over. Even without fully concentrating, he could feel the twinge of Ivan's thread resonating deep within him. Ivan was here only a few feet away. There was nothing to worry about.
Yao poured the ingredients into the clay pot, letting them steep in the black bean sauce.
When Ivan had asked him was he sure about when was the first time they met, elation filled his body. He would never forget Ivan. How could he when Ivan was his most beloved person as child? After so long of being the only one remembering about their time together when he was just a small, innocent boy, Yao thought Ivan finally regained his memories. But of course, he didn't. It was fine, though. Beside immortality, he had the patience to wait for the day Ivan finally remembered.
Yao smiled, oblivious to the clattering of the pot's lid as the steam bubbled out. He was such a silly child back then, following Ivan like a lovesick puppy yearning for whatever scraps of affections thrown his way.
That day when he took Ivan out into the fields, he wanted to surprise him with a present. Some villagers had found some orchids blooming early in the season*. Yao didn't have much of appreciation of flowers back then, but when he noticed the colors of those orchids, he knew he was meant to give them to the Russian man.
Those orchids matched Ivan's perfectly. Besides the delicate flower, Yao only ever saw such a beautiful color reflected in the other nation's eyes. He had wanted to give them to him. Maybe that way, Ivan would thank him with a smile and perhaps even pat him on the head. He complained furiously about hating it, but secretly he enjoyed the large hands combing through his hair.
He never got the pat on the head he wished for. The flowers he handpicked for Ivan wilted after a few hours; turned to dust after a few years.
Running through the snow, he had cried searching for him. His people was forced to drag him back when the war finally broke out between the Xia and Chiyou tribe. Barred from looking for Ivan physically, his younger self tried to find him the only other way he knew how- by how he saw other nations; the threads that connected him with the others. Ivan must surely still be here. It didn't matter where he was, after the war was over, he would go to him. The only thing Yao found was disappointment.
Since that day, Yao stopped using that ability. The missing presence of the person who taught him was too painful. Eventually, he almost forgot all about that ability and Ivan altogether as the Shang took over the Xia and then followed by the Zhou; one after another, dynasties claimed the Mandate of Heaven before falling. War, plotting, and conquering became a common occurrence to him. He saw with his own eyes family slaughtering one another for the throne, how love and favoritism became the downfall of an empire. His once soft heart hardened.
But Ivan- no matter what century- always had the ability to set alight his darkening world.
At last, they met again under Mongolian rule.
*Dengfeng: According to Wiki, the capital of the Xia Dynasty was Yangcheng, present day Dengfeng
*I'm very vaguely referencing the New Culture Movement/May 4th Movement. Google it if you don't know.
*Orchids bloom in winter between the degrees of 55 and 88. So yea, it was snowing and super cold…but at least I got the season right…..
A/N: Explanation for what's happening between grown up Yao and Ivan will be in the next true ending chapter. It'll focus on small! Ivan and big! Yao before reverting back to present time.
I had to split the chapter because 1) Lots of historical reference notes of Mongolia and 2) Yao and Ivan didn't understand each other this time so I had to make Ivan speak Russian. Needless to say, half of my notes are dedicated to the translation. (Who needs google when you have Russian fans of RoChu? inrisan so graciously translated for me. THANK YOU!).
If people caught it, I returned Yao's "arus". I was going to make Ivan ask Yao why, but I decided to leave it out. In this universe the "arus" are speech impediment caused by the overdose of drugs in Yao's veins during the Opium War (and because I got use to not writing 'aru', it's easier for me to take them out lol). Prior to then, Yao spoke normally.