They Don't Call It "The Shit" For Nothing

[xbeefkillerx]

I decided I really need to start updating this journal. Afghanistan is quite the environmental shocker compared to Pakistan, since I last updated this thing. Now that the Spring season is cooking up, so are all the pissed off religous fanatics around here. Not to mention every soldier with a happy trigger finger is ready to get sum. Today was a

Comments

[jessup]

its wierd how things happen the way that they do, i had never really thought about it until my mom got sick and then she passed away, but all the events that had happened with my family in the last year even 2 years seem like they happened for a reason when i started to think back at everything. but at the moment you don't know why. its so crazy and really makes you think about things. i could go on and on and tell you the crazy things that have gone through my head the last several months, but i'll spare you at the moment, but even though crappy things go on and it doesn't seem right, i think somehow, someway there is a reason.
life's not easy and its not fair. and i'd like to punch the crap out of world from time to time cause i wouldn't even know where to begin i get so angry at what happened to my mom but what do you do. there's only so much one person can do. right now i'm just trying to stay positive with everything and just know she would want me to be happy.

I wish I could fully relate.

[xbeefkillerx]

I've never lost anyone real close before. I had a grandpa past away when i was real young, but its like your too young to really get it. I had a grandma pass away a few years ago, but its like she died of old age. So it wasn't like a kick to my gut or anything, it was just natural. It was her time to go. I can accept that. But I've never lost a parent or a good close friend or anything like that. I guess I'm pretty fortunate in that. I kinda have this real cold heart when it comes to death. I don't fear it at all. It rarely bothers me. I guess one of these days, I will lose someone really close to me. And the death will seem very meaningless or I'll question everyday why that person had to go. And those feelings of sadness will catch up to me eventually.

Re: I wish I could fully relate.

[jessup]

yeah, i was kind of in the same boat before, and everything seemed so great, my mom was one of my best frieds and then things slowly started going bad, and one of my worst nightmares came true, and it still doesn't even seem real to me, but i just made it a point everyday when i saw here to not take that day for granted and to tell her i loved her before i left each day. i don't know what god has in store for my family next but i sure as heck hope there was a reason for all of this, ya know.