[FIC] NewS - 'til I forget about you
Title: ‘til I forget about you
Fandom: NewS
Pairing: Masuda/Tegoshi
Rating: PG (angst)
Disclaimer: Not associated with Johnny's Entertainment. This is fiction; it never happened.
A/N: For tegositi , as part of my Happy Birthday!! event. Title shamelessly swiped from a BTR song.
His smile is gone.
Tegoshi feels awful, thinking about that - of all the things he could possibly be upset by right now, that should be at the absolute bottom of the list. But that’s what sticks out to him the most; Massu’s lost his smile, and somehow, the world seems so very wrong, so much darker, because of it.
They sit together in a hospital room, all white and sterile and almost unreal, with Massu on the bed and Tegoshi in the chair beside it. And they don’t speak, not a word. It’s uncomfortable and awkward, but Tegoshi can’t think of anything to say that won’t make things worse.
Massu won’t even look at him.
He wants to reach out and touch the older man, but the last time he tried, Massu had jolted so hard he nearly fell off the bad and had almost had Tegoshi removed from the room. Tegoshi’s not sure which memory is worse; the one of Masuda looking up at him with blearily unfocused eyes and asking him who he was and why his head hurt, or the look of distrust and blatant anger that crossed his features when Tegoshi’s hand had moved to brush his.
He supposes it doesn’t matter; both feel like a knife to his heart, and he’s not sure if the wounds will ever heal. Not when Massu doesn’t recognize him, doesn’t even know him anymore.
It’s the worst feeling in the world, this sense of unmitigated grief at knowing that his best friend, partner, lover suddenly isn’t himself anymore. It’s even worse, knowing that he’s utterly helpless to do anything about it.
“You don’t have to stay.” Massu says suddenly, and Tegoshi jolts in surprise at the sudden invasion of noise.
“What?”
“You don’t have to stay.” The older man says it slowly, deliberately, and his eyes follow Tegoshi’s for a brief moment, like he’s searching for something. It’s first time they’ve actually looked at each other properly since this whole nightmare begin. “I’ll be fine on my own.”
Tegoshi feels briefly insulted, until he remembers it’s not him it’s not it’s not it’s not. “I’m not leaving you.”
Massu’s brow furrows, like he can’t quite understand the meaning behind the words, but doesn’t say anything else, just looks away and goes back to silently watching the muted television. Tegoshi hesitates, and then reaches out slowly, curls his fingers around the other man’s. Massu doesn’t pull away this time; just stares down at their interlocked fingers with that same lost look, like he doesn’t quite believe it’s real.
“It’ll be okay,” Tegoshi says, trying to be comforting. But his voice wavers, gives him away, and he’s not really sure who he’s trying to reassure. “I… you’ll be okay.”
you have to be
Fandom: NewS
Pairing: Masuda/Tegoshi
Rating: PG (angst)
Disclaimer: Not associated with Johnny's Entertainment. This is fiction; it never happened.
A/N: For tegositi , as part of my Happy Birthday!! event. Title shamelessly swiped from a BTR song.
His smile is gone.
Tegoshi feels awful, thinking about that - of all the things he could possibly be upset by right now, that should be at the absolute bottom of the list. But that’s what sticks out to him the most; Massu’s lost his smile, and somehow, the world seems so very wrong, so much darker, because of it.
They sit together in a hospital room, all white and sterile and almost unreal, with Massu on the bed and Tegoshi in the chair beside it. And they don’t speak, not a word. It’s uncomfortable and awkward, but Tegoshi can’t think of anything to say that won’t make things worse.
Massu won’t even look at him.
He wants to reach out and touch the older man, but the last time he tried, Massu had jolted so hard he nearly fell off the bad and had almost had Tegoshi removed from the room. Tegoshi’s not sure which memory is worse; the one of Masuda looking up at him with blearily unfocused eyes and asking him who he was and why his head hurt, or the look of distrust and blatant anger that crossed his features when Tegoshi’s hand had moved to brush his.
He supposes it doesn’t matter; both feel like a knife to his heart, and he’s not sure if the wounds will ever heal. Not when Massu doesn’t recognize him, doesn’t even know him anymore.
It’s the worst feeling in the world, this sense of unmitigated grief at knowing that his best friend, partner, lover suddenly isn’t himself anymore. It’s even worse, knowing that he’s utterly helpless to do anything about it.
“You don’t have to stay.” Massu says suddenly, and Tegoshi jolts in surprise at the sudden invasion of noise.
“What?”
“You don’t have to stay.” The older man says it slowly, deliberately, and his eyes follow Tegoshi’s for a brief moment, like he’s searching for something. It’s first time they’ve actually looked at each other properly since this whole nightmare begin. “I’ll be fine on my own.”
Tegoshi feels briefly insulted, until he remembers it’s not him it’s not it’s not it’s not. “I’m not leaving you.”
Massu’s brow furrows, like he can’t quite understand the meaning behind the words, but doesn’t say anything else, just looks away and goes back to silently watching the muted television. Tegoshi hesitates, and then reaches out slowly, curls his fingers around the other man’s. Massu doesn’t pull away this time; just stares down at their interlocked fingers with that same lost look, like he doesn’t quite believe it’s real.
“It’ll be okay,” Tegoshi says, trying to be comforting. But his voice wavers, gives him away, and he’s not really sure who he’s trying to reassure. “I… you’ll be okay.”
you have to be