(no subject)
so i took my usual four mile walk around the loop, and right dead when i'd walked two miles i began to get the worst blisters EVER. and i was right in the middle, there was no point turning around. so i basically limped the remaining two miles, and by the time i made it home both blisters were streaming blood. niiiice. i won't be able to walk for a week.
then i walked in, and saw a random letter addressed to me, from the stupid fucking hospital in maine i went to back in march. so i opened it up and kind of looked at it all at once...and the first thing i saw was "spring harbor hospital reccomends 6 inpatient days..." and i almost passed out right there. then i calmed down and actually read it, and discovered that all they were trying to say was that insurance was going to cover the cost of my stay. i need to stop flipping out.
as much as i passionately hate school for more reasons then i can count, i'm sort of scared for it to end. i don't want to lose touch with any of my friends. and i'm going to missouri for two weeks in july and i'm scared everyone's going to forget about me when i go. =[.
and my grades are horrible as usual. my parents are going to absolutely slaughter me when they come in the mail. i need to start taking school seriously or i will never go anywhere in life.
aaaaaaaand once i get my blood test done they'll know i haven't been taking my medicine. and they will absolutely FLIP. and literately hold me down the force the medicine down my throat. i know them, that's exactly what they'll do. they don't understand...that fucking lithium shit was screwing me up in every way possible. i sort of tried to talk to my mom about it last night and she was all like..."no. no. no. you HAVE to take it. it's just the way you are. some people have to take medicine and you're one of those people."
well guess what, mother dearest? i haven't been taking medicine for a month now. and i'm as fine as i'll ever be. just because you're a fucking psycho who throws things at people and physically attacks them when you haven't taken your anti-depressents doesn't mean i'm the same way.
then there's my dad. and if you've hung out at my house, you know EXACTLY how cool he is. whenever i say something impolite or even something he doesn't agree with, he turns to my mom, like i'm not there, and says, "has she taken her medicine?" he is the biggest fucking asshole in the entire world. he emotionally abuses me, my mom, and my brothers constantly. he's not so bad when people are around, but the second we're all alone together he just attacks me. whenever we fight about anything, he threatens to send me back to the hospital. stupid little bitch.
the day my parents divorce will be the happiest day of my life. then i can just live with my mom and never have to deal with him ever again. but of course my mom is the biggest freaking wuss born and is terrified of living alone, and she's basically my dads slave, so she doesn't know how to live without taking orders from him.
can i move in with you by any chance?
then i walked in, and saw a random letter addressed to me, from the stupid fucking hospital in maine i went to back in march. so i opened it up and kind of looked at it all at once...and the first thing i saw was "spring harbor hospital reccomends 6 inpatient days..." and i almost passed out right there. then i calmed down and actually read it, and discovered that all they were trying to say was that insurance was going to cover the cost of my stay. i need to stop flipping out.
as much as i passionately hate school for more reasons then i can count, i'm sort of scared for it to end. i don't want to lose touch with any of my friends. and i'm going to missouri for two weeks in july and i'm scared everyone's going to forget about me when i go. =[.
and my grades are horrible as usual. my parents are going to absolutely slaughter me when they come in the mail. i need to start taking school seriously or i will never go anywhere in life.
aaaaaaaand once i get my blood test done they'll know i haven't been taking my medicine. and they will absolutely FLIP. and literately hold me down the force the medicine down my throat. i know them, that's exactly what they'll do. they don't understand...that fucking lithium shit was screwing me up in every way possible. i sort of tried to talk to my mom about it last night and she was all like..."no. no. no. you HAVE to take it. it's just the way you are. some people have to take medicine and you're one of those people."
well guess what, mother dearest? i haven't been taking medicine for a month now. and i'm as fine as i'll ever be. just because you're a fucking psycho who throws things at people and physically attacks them when you haven't taken your anti-depressents doesn't mean i'm the same way.
then there's my dad. and if you've hung out at my house, you know EXACTLY how cool he is. whenever i say something impolite or even something he doesn't agree with, he turns to my mom, like i'm not there, and says, "has she taken her medicine?" he is the biggest fucking asshole in the entire world. he emotionally abuses me, my mom, and my brothers constantly. he's not so bad when people are around, but the second we're all alone together he just attacks me. whenever we fight about anything, he threatens to send me back to the hospital. stupid little bitch.
the day my parents divorce will be the happiest day of my life. then i can just live with my mom and never have to deal with him ever again. but of course my mom is the biggest freaking wuss born and is terrified of living alone, and she's basically my dads slave, so she doesn't know how to live without taking orders from him.
can i move in with you by any chance?