I read your livejournal... and I don't want to sound preachy or anything like that, but if you feel so horrible you should think about seeking some kind of help - advice from a friend, or counselling, or a psychologist, or someone you can trust...(Forgive me if you are already seeking help, I am not sure if you are) because life isn't meant to be full of pain. Life is meant to be a mix of many different things. I don't know if anything I'm saying is helping at all
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Sorry this is so long!goobletJanuary 18 2005, 02:56:42 UTC
I've been there felt everything you just described but, one day I woke up and asked myself what the fuck I was doing because, the night before I tried to kill myself it's so hard to explain what I felt that made me change my perspective on everything. It wasn't anyone that helped me it was myself. I decided to say fuck everyone and everything. The people who thought of me like shit and thought I wasn't worth a damn, I said fuck them I'm going to make something of myself and throw it in their face. To everything that tired to hold me back, I said fuck it and went around them. I know that nothing will change your mind on how you feel or what you do but, I feel that once you get older and you open your eyes and get a tad bit self confidence you'll gradually begin to not hate yourself so much, and the confidence I mean isn't the one that makes you feel like you're beautiful it's the one that makes you say hey why do I hate myself? I shouldn't because, I can do or say or love anything I fucking want to so fuck you people who made me feel
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Quote: "oh yeah, and for getting help like a counsler or physiatrist that's not always smart, I tried that been there done that, they made me feel fucking worse and basically told me I was insane another reason why I wanted to kill myself being told I was sick and insane didn't help one fucking bit so, yeah I'd never recommend that"
I think it's a little narrow-minded to dismiss counselling or a psychologist/psychiatrist just because it did not help you. What doesn't help you may be very beneficial for others...I guess the same could be said about religion or millions of other things...as John Lennon (I think) said: "Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright". If the same things helped everybody, this would be a fucking boring world.
i have been to a therapist one time. i listened to her babble on a whole bunch of bullshit and write down awhole bunch of sit before i had the "Right" to talk.
she diagnosed me with a whole bunch of shit i don't even understand, and i don't understand how she wrote it down before i opened my mouth.
being the cynical sarcastic bitch that i am, i barked (yes yes i know just like the chick on six feet under but this was like 3 years ago) and told her she was a stupid bitch in pig latin (igpay atinlay... ouyay reay ay uckinfay itchbay.)
i told my grandma that that was the supidest reason to spend 200 fucking dollars. i have a lj to talk about shit and i could've use that 200 dollars to buy a new computer ram card or even fucking school shit.
i know i dont know you that well but you are a fucking awesome person! i know how you feel , ive been there wayy too many times. fuck therapists, fuck doctors, im not gonna give you shit advice like that. it doesnt help and i know it, so i just want to tell you to hold on. love your self becuase you never knwo who else is. (cheesy, stupid, i know, but i hope it helps some!) ill see you later erin
i know this is an old entry...oh well i am posting anyway so DEAL! lol
kayla i luv u <3 i kno i havent known u vewwy long but i feel like idk i wanna wrap u up and keep away ur hurt and just keep all this bad shit away i hate it hate it hate it...
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<333
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"oh yeah, and for getting help like a counsler or physiatrist that's not always smart, I tried that been there done that, they made me feel fucking worse and basically told me I was insane another reason why I wanted to kill myself being told I was sick and insane didn't help one fucking bit so, yeah I'd never recommend that"
I think it's a little narrow-minded to dismiss counselling or a psychologist/psychiatrist just because it did not help you. What doesn't help you may be very beneficial for others...I guess the same could be said about religion or millions of other things...as John Lennon (I think) said: "Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright". If the same things helped everybody, this would be a fucking boring world.
No harm meant by this comment :)
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But, no harm taken :).
I agree with you.
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she diagnosed me with a whole bunch of shit i don't even understand, and i don't understand how she wrote it down before i opened my mouth.
being the cynical sarcastic bitch that i am, i barked (yes yes i know just like the chick on six feet under but this was like 3 years ago) and told her she was a stupid bitch in pig latin (igpay atinlay... ouyay reay ay uckinfay itchbay.)
i told my grandma that that was the supidest reason to spend 200 fucking dollars. i have a lj to talk about shit and i could've use that 200 dollars to buy a new computer ram card or even fucking school shit.
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ill see you later
erin
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kayla i luv u <3
i kno i havent known u vewwy long but i feel like idk
i wanna wrap u up and keep away ur hurt and just keep all this bad shit away i hate it hate it hate it...
i hate feeling lost
in me own soul
<3
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