I havent felt this alone in a long time ( Read more... )

so maybe I should hesitate ( Read more... )

my mind is all over the place.
I feel as though I'm going to be ill.

Now, back to the original plan
of not giving a damn until school is
done and over with.
Let's go back to this-
living your life by a list
sort of thing.
because I havent accomplished
a thing. just feeling.

I sleep too much,
sometimes it's better
than being awake.
I never dream,
it's just dead ( Read more... )

Who are these kids that love so freely?

And these people, leaving their mark everywhere, they call it art?

What of world crisis? People live like they know not.

And what is living? Put a price on a life and call it yours?

There is this perpetual cycle I feel I am bound to serve.

I want something more than this, but what more is there?

We speak of want ( Read more... )

*I don’t believe a word you say.

*You keep telling me this is real.

*Don’t dare tell me how to feel.

Believe in me.

I’ll show you what you want to see.

Just believe.

*I’m gonna run.

*It’s one thing I’m good at.

*Get out of here-

We all deal in our own ways.

*I’m done with your game.

Tell me this isn’t real.

Happening, this cycle, again.

Closing in on me, ( Read more... )

I re read a few journals.
So many mention the same
round about feelings,
so many say I am ''unsatisfied''

Am I waiting for something to happen?

COME ON STUPID GIRL,
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

The tv is on.
I never watch tv
not even now.
It's on so that
I don't feel so
alone.

I wont be pathetic forever.

Issiaha said to ''just ask''
and I think, due to the discussion
at hand that he wants me to ask for
help.

I don't need help,
what help can anyone really
offer?

I am unsatisfied with My life-
I'm the only one who can fix that.
Yes I want to be able to ( Read more... )

 Right now everything seems chill. 
I'm at school in Photography class right now.
I miss Brad. i hate mac computers.
I'm going through the motions, because everything is eventual.
right now I need to focus on school, because it's all that i can do.
which is annoying.

I'm grounded from driving because I missed curfew 2 days in a row,
the first Ches and   ( Read more... )

When I'd see people
who'd once felt they'd loved someone
so undeniably, I questioned whether or not
such a deep thing could exist.
I'd doubted so much that anyone could
reasonably feel so much for another person
that they'd take a self destructive path
once they'd fallen out.

One route of thought it that feeling
wretched and torn is better than not ( Read more... )

Pretty words make
perfect sense.
Too bad it's all for the

romance.
Sit here and
reflect..

In a longing essance,
-excluding
Beauty, reatributing.

Close it out with a sigh,
Make the promise to self
not to give, fade or die.

Inside my heart,
you will reside.
I too shall wait
for you are mine.

Time seems desolate.
Slowly,
I feel it gripping me.

But I don't feel you ( Read more... )