i keep bragging about how strong i am and how great i'm doing ( Read more... )

i'm so mad i missed a week of break. i did not expect to have this much fun. i've LOVED being home. and i LOVED seeing everyone. yes, everyone ( Read more... )

i'm so fucking confused.

tonight is going to be weird as hell.
ending this fucked up year of pain by going to a place i've never felt welcomed to with my ex boyfriend whom i haven't seen in 3 years, where i will be seeing my other ex boyfriend whom i haven't talked to seriously in like 3 weeks.

oh god. get me my green apple smirnoff NOW.

1. I'm missing my family in Indonesia so much.
2. Right now is when he'd normally hold me and make me feel better.
3. I feel so lonely.
4. I realize that that will never happen, and I'm actually glad about it.
5. I'm desiring new love badly, even though I know I need a break from it.

Merry Christmas, I guess.

i thought being back in chicago would revive my confidence and strength, but i'm having too much down time to think.
oddly, it's making me missing being home and hanging out with my friends.
nonetheless, it is wonderful being in my city with my family.
but goddamn its cold.

i'm gonna go snuggle under blankets and fall asleep to family guy.

i am in love with thayer and shawn.
they make me so whole.
how can i go back to chicago without them?

i never want these nights to end.

i am officially the only person i know that has never smoked ( Read more... )

being home is weird ( Read more... )

"Why do I fall in love with every woman* I see who shows me the least bit of attention?"

*woman = man

I'm pathetic.
And lonely.