CHRONIC i n s o m n i a-Chapter FOUR [Diru]
TITLE: CHRONI i n s o m n i a.
CHAPTER: Four/?
PAIRINGS: Not seen yet, slight kaoruxShinya. ShinyaxDie, KyoxShinya,ToshiyaxKyo
COMMENT: I love writing this, especially in school because I think better LOL. Ironic? Well, more to come, hopefully. Enjoy!
CHAPTER FOUR-
I lay across my bed, not really caring about the pains in my stomach from the lack of food or liquids. I was more intrigued by….everything really. People, actions, moods, behaviour. Maybe it would be a good idea to study psychology, like Kyo. Of course I’d have to wait a year before I enrol but I can always wait. Just getting through this last year is all I need to be worried about, for now.
-Knock Knock-
“Shinya, dear. There’s someone here for you.”
I jumped from my bed, trembling at the thought of another human being near me or even wanting to be! I turned to face the other direction as I heard the door squeaking open, footsteps following soon after. Coming closer, closer I felt the newly produced sickness make it’s way up from my stomach just as I felt a hand land on my shoulder I let a squeak escape my lips. I had no intention in turning to face the person which they must have taken this into mind as they forced me to look at them.
“Hello, Shinya.”
My eyes widened and I started to stammer in an attempt to speak to the person but all failed, sadly. He smiled gently and stroked my hair slowly, his lips curled in at the corners. I held my breath, my face becoming flushed, feeling my vision blur and my heart race at an excruciating fast rate.
“K-”
“Shinya!”
I fainted. Again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walked down the city street, blue locks stickling to my coloured skin. It’s a really nice day but no wind and with a cast on my arm it’s hard to move my hair from my face without knocking myself out or falling over from letting the crutch go from my other hand. I have my downsides but in all honesty I did mange this all by myself, no one else to blame. Pffft, as if anyone would be honoured to take the blame. Backstabbing scum bags.
“Such a nuisance.”
I cursed at myself, finally finding a bench to sit on and do so. Everyone looks so happy and peaceful, yeah, not having to worry about what people think about them, opinions and false accusations. Lucky. I wonder how they do it, is it in their heads or just… themselves? Is there something wrong with me, well I do get looks but then randomly ones will treat me with respect and kindness. If that’s what I should call it. It must all be scheme they have planned. Yes, you sick beings, I have you all figured out.
Trying to lift myself off the bench I had long forgotten about my crutch and fell flat bottom onto the path.
“Eugh……damnit!”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I skipped down the street, how many calories was this burning? Probably not enough. Well, I’ll just pop into the gym at the bottom of the road, it’ll be good enough I should think.
As I ran through the town it was just then when I noticed, some people just can’t be left alone to do as they want or feel as they want to be looked at. I’ve always wished I’d look the way I feel but I’m working on it. However, looking at here it’s quite… unpleasantly a lie. Everyone’s walking about as if they’re the best but in reality they’re not. They backstab ones who may have a bigger nose, put on a few more pounds and even in height! It makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. And there’s-
“Huh…..”
“Damnit! I forgot about my crutch!”
And there’s……him. I don’t know how long I’ve stared at him but it’s a huge gap of time and within that time…no one’s noticed him or tried to give him a hand. He’s practically disabled for crying out loud! They only care for themselves.
“Here, want some help?”
“Hm?”
“You’re kinda on the ground dude.”
I put his crutch at the side of the bench and held my other hand out to him. He sort of just stared at me for awhile before taking it but I didn’t mind. Not like I was extremely busy and I felt sorry for the guy. Up close he looks just about near to my age, maybe a little younger with those puffy cheeks.
“…Thanks.”
“No problem, just be careful. I know well that none of these fuckers would think twice about helping you. Well, see ya!”
“eh…WAIT!”
“Hm?”
“Your name? would be nice.”
“Oh, Die.”
“Die……..”
I ran off before he could drag me into a full scale conversation. I needed to get back on track and lose about another 500 calories before I got to work.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I stood by the window, cigarette between my lips as I looked outside. It’s really nice and bright, I don’t know why Shinya remains to stay put within his dull room. Maybe that’s why he’s so pale, like porcelain. Poor kid…….
“Waaaaaah! You’re…smoking in-indoors!”
“That’s why I’m at the window. I know you have a hatred for smoke and cigarettes.”
With that I flicked it out the window, eyeing the flustered blonde whom may only have regained consciousness. He defiantly is something. Perfect eyes, lips, face, body, and his character…well he’s innocent to the most extreme extent. He’s…..beautiful. To wonder how I look upon being near such a person. The scars, the hatred, the mood. I’m nothing but crap, utter crap.
“Feeling better?”
“Ah..-U-um, ye-yes.”
I smiled carefully, watching him make his way to his bed, making no eye contact with me at all. Not surprising. I joined him, he scooted a little, an inch even away.
“How have you been, Shinya?”
“….F-Fine.”
Lies. He hasn’t changed in the slightest. I know this as he still refuses to ask a person further questions or reply.
“That’s good.”
Silence. I always hear how silence can slice through bread like a knife, but how can you hear it, if it is indeed silent. It’s harmless, it just provokes people in different ways. Many bad and good. This, I’m not sure what to call it.
“Have you…-”
I jumped, pressing his frail body against the mattress, he seemed unfazed, no outburst, no tantrum. He just lay there, staring back with those honey brown orbs. I didn’t want to answer him, I don’t have to. Who says I do? Staring down at him I noticed all sorts, scars on his neck, his cheek, his hands. They weren’t visible to the human eyes, but me, they were clear.
I bit my lip moving closer to inspect the marks, now he looked uncomfortable. I descended down as he turned his head, I kissed his neck in a rush, he let his hands roam up to plant themselves on my back. His breathing was quiet and gentle, the opposite of a vile creature like me.
“K-Kaoru….”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“EUGH!”
I kicked my legs in frustration, having my quilt slide off my mattress. I lay there, dark circles formed under my eyes, hair far from brushed and just ugly. I didn’t sleep, I CAN’T Sleep. It’s been a week now and I’ve managed to pull myself through the days without anyone giving me jip or having a temper. I think I’m too tired to fight so I just… let it pass. Finally managing to get myself off the bed without collapsing I rummaged through my wardrobe, flinging whatever my hands could grasp onto my weak body.
I didn’t bother to check my appearance, an excuse to avoid the mirrors and myself in case I went into another fit of sorts. Once in the kitchen I sighed as I opened the fridge-empty, cupboards-empty, freezer-empty. I guess I’ll have to go down to the café for something to stop my hunger sounds.
I’m lucky I don’t share my apartment with anyone nor is the area busy with crowds, but there’s a little café just down the street which gets a good amount of business. As I entered it seemed to be not so busy and without knowing a smile formed on my face. I ordered the breakfast special with a coffee, make that two. I need caffeine, badly.
“There ya go!”
I turned to see a waiter, he had pure red hair, black roots of course, like myself. I tilted my head to the side, cheek against my palm, studying the creature I kinda felt a bit absurd. Not like I should be a person judging anyone but I have to now, right? To fit in like everyone else, they pick on someone, the manipulate a person for their looks and actions but I- As much as I tried, I wasn’t like that. I just couldn’t be. But… this guy… seemed so….fake. If that’s what I could describe it as. He seemed to act fake, his smile, which was yellow.
“Yellow…?”
Maybe he’s a smoker, it could be that as his physic is so thin but……I feel as if I’m lying to myself. I observed him closely as he walked past, and that was it, he waved. His hand, or knuckles even, had scars, just two. That’s when I knew. He may of course be a smoker but his teeth are more yellow because he self-induced vomits. Explaining the marks on his hand, it’s from forcing his hand down his throat too often.
Looking intently I felt a sudden gash a shame come over me. What was I doing, judging this poor guy in my own head, worse that I’m doing it in my head so he can’t hear me! It’s like backstabbing! I can’t believe myself. Without another thought I fled from the café, tears threatening to release themselves without my consent, paranoia wasn’t what it should be called for I knew everyone was watching, even the red head.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I watched as the man fled from the café, he’d been staring at me for some time now, he probably didn’t even realise himself but I was carefully eyeing him, making judgment I suppose but all is fair, he did it on me first, obviously.
“Die, you’re done for the day!”
“Thanks.”
Lifting my coat I ran down the road towards my University, come to think of it I hadn’t seen Kaoru yet. He should probably be there already, destroying or fighting with someone or something.
I came to a halt at the gates, fixing my hair and clothes, of course I was welcomed like every other day but today, Kaoru there was not. I scanned the area, not finding him at all. I took out my phone, clicking number 1, yes, I have Kaoru on hot key, I need to from loosing him so many times or collecting him down at the station-police that is.
-Riiiiiing.Riiiiiing.Riiiiiiiing.Riiiiiiiing-sorry but the person you are calling is unable to answer your call, please try again later.-
Okay, now I’m worried but worse I have this uneasy feeling in my stomach, something is going on and it’s definitely wrong-hm?
I heard faint sob, turning my head I found the source of this unwanted noise. A boy, hunched up, sitting by the fountain, tears not clear to see as his face was in hiding between his arms but you could tell, well I could anyways.
Walking over I was hesitant to comfort him or seem as if I were to walk to him but just walk past him but he attracted me, not like romance, just like…Kaoru does. Or is that the same- never mind I’m in front of him now. I lean sideways, trying to catch a glimpse of his face but to no prevail he dug his face in deeper, brilliant. And as I went to pat his shoulder I heard a long watery sniff, charming. I went for the kill, curiosity killed the cat, and when I saw this boy, I think I killed all nine.
“Hey, are you okay-”
Yup, killed nine. For whom I was staring at in astonishment was staring back at me with the same exact gaze, if only I had knew earlier I would have just walked past but curiosity killed my cat.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I lifted my phone with my free hand, seems Die called me earlier, speaking of which he must be at Uni by now. Myself on the other hand….. I looked down at the young boy sleeping on my chest, his hair soft against my skin, thin leg tangled with my knee and his palm against my shoulder as if to trace the tattoos there. I was not at Uni, and probably end up not going today. Not that I could go anyways, Shinya’s still fast asleep, maybe I tired him out too much. Well, I am a few years older than him, he’s not used to this kind of attention yet. Yes-yet, for many years to come I’ll help him adjust, if I’m always here with him. It’s been years now since I only met him as a young infant.
It was a family celebration, my brother’s birthday as I recall, but to me I didn’t really care. I didn’t have much interest in our family or friends, and for them towards me the same. Maybe that’s why I went in search of something better to do to pass the time. My family didn’t like me anyways, I was trouble at school, had mood swings and at the time the doctors just said I need a good beating. And a beating was what I got. Not that I cared about it and maybe karma or God knew this as I was lead to a young boy whom was crying by himself. He had pale skin, long fair hair and plump lips. I was taken back by such a beauty, even though he was crying his tears were like pearls, tiny, sweet pearls. I accompanied him by the bank, my Yukata spread on the grass making a crunching noise. He lifted his head, startled by the sudden break of silence. I stared at him for some time, not in a harsh way but as if examine him. His Yukata hung loose off his shoulder, cheeks stained and eyes puffy. No matter, his tears had stopped at least and he was even more rasfishing than I had expected, of course at the age of seven I didn’t use those words, more like pretty and Bood-I-fool. I calmly took his hand, not saying a word nor did he react in a bad way but simply clenched tighter. It was as if we had came to a understanding by touching each other, if that were to happen to anyone else in my family I would have been pushed over by now.
Years after we always saw each other, not planned but just randomly, even our parents don’t really get what’s on between us because when we meet up we don’t exactly talk in front of others. We need to me alone to let our energy connect, with Shinya I don’t get sudden mood swings or tantrums. It’s because of him I have hope. However things changed as he grew older. There is about 3 years between us. I moved on to university and he stayed insecure at High school, because he was alone. I blame myself for his sudden adaption to life and I wish I could change it but with my own problems it’s hard enough. I put Shinya before myself at all costs, just now he has to do himself the favour and give himself confidence, like Die-
“I should call him…”
I leaned down, grasping my phone, hearing a murmer from the young boy whom seemed to have awakened. I looked down at him with earnest eyes as he pushed himself up to sit on the bed, duvet sliding a long his spine to sit around his lower torso. He rubbed his eyes furiously and looked at me.
“Well,-Afternoon.”
“Mnm….what time is it?”
“12:36”
“WAHHHHHH?! N-No I’m late! Well, Half the day is over!”
“Shusssh. Just go in, or take the day off. Not like you don’t deserve it.”
“Kaoru, you say I deserve everything all the time.”
“Because you do.”
“Kaoru……”
I Brought my phone to my ear earning a sigh from Shinya, he lifted the quilt and walked off to the bathroom. I have Die on speedial, yes- number 2 so it’s easy for me to call. Not like I call anyone else.
-Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.Riiiiiiing.Riiii- “WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?”
I braced my ear from the sudden outburst, it even caused Shinya to peek out from behind the door.
“I’m just going to be late, you not in class?”
“Wha? Oh yeah I am but-MRS SUKOKAI I’M SORRY, NO, NOT IN THE FACE, NOT THE-”
-Dead-
“He should have learned by now…..”
“Who was that?”
“Oh, a friend. He’s a little pissed I’m not in school yet.”
I stood up, sliding my clothes back on, Shinya sat on the end on the bed, looking as if he was deep in thought. I left it, incase it was something serious or related to his attitude. However as I went to leave he spoke.
“you’re all calm again, Kaoru. H-How‘s-that?”
The stutter, he’s afraid I’ll turn on him for speaking like that. I turned to him, leaning down I cupped his cheek, bring him close to myself. I kissed his gently, niping his bottom lip, I felt him ease down.
“You, calm me down,Shinya. That’s how.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER: Four/?
PAIRINGS: Not seen yet, slight kaoruxShinya. ShinyaxDie, KyoxShinya,ToshiyaxKyo
COMMENT: I love writing this, especially in school because I think better LOL. Ironic? Well, more to come, hopefully. Enjoy!
CHAPTER FOUR-
I lay across my bed, not really caring about the pains in my stomach from the lack of food or liquids. I was more intrigued by….everything really. People, actions, moods, behaviour. Maybe it would be a good idea to study psychology, like Kyo. Of course I’d have to wait a year before I enrol but I can always wait. Just getting through this last year is all I need to be worried about, for now.
-Knock Knock-
“Shinya, dear. There’s someone here for you.”
I jumped from my bed, trembling at the thought of another human being near me or even wanting to be! I turned to face the other direction as I heard the door squeaking open, footsteps following soon after. Coming closer, closer I felt the newly produced sickness make it’s way up from my stomach just as I felt a hand land on my shoulder I let a squeak escape my lips. I had no intention in turning to face the person which they must have taken this into mind as they forced me to look at them.
“Hello, Shinya.”
My eyes widened and I started to stammer in an attempt to speak to the person but all failed, sadly. He smiled gently and stroked my hair slowly, his lips curled in at the corners. I held my breath, my face becoming flushed, feeling my vision blur and my heart race at an excruciating fast rate.
“K-”
“Shinya!”
I fainted. Again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walked down the city street, blue locks stickling to my coloured skin. It’s a really nice day but no wind and with a cast on my arm it’s hard to move my hair from my face without knocking myself out or falling over from letting the crutch go from my other hand. I have my downsides but in all honesty I did mange this all by myself, no one else to blame. Pffft, as if anyone would be honoured to take the blame. Backstabbing scum bags.
“Such a nuisance.”
I cursed at myself, finally finding a bench to sit on and do so. Everyone looks so happy and peaceful, yeah, not having to worry about what people think about them, opinions and false accusations. Lucky. I wonder how they do it, is it in their heads or just… themselves? Is there something wrong with me, well I do get looks but then randomly ones will treat me with respect and kindness. If that’s what I should call it. It must all be scheme they have planned. Yes, you sick beings, I have you all figured out.
Trying to lift myself off the bench I had long forgotten about my crutch and fell flat bottom onto the path.
“Eugh……damnit!”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I skipped down the street, how many calories was this burning? Probably not enough. Well, I’ll just pop into the gym at the bottom of the road, it’ll be good enough I should think.
As I ran through the town it was just then when I noticed, some people just can’t be left alone to do as they want or feel as they want to be looked at. I’ve always wished I’d look the way I feel but I’m working on it. However, looking at here it’s quite… unpleasantly a lie. Everyone’s walking about as if they’re the best but in reality they’re not. They backstab ones who may have a bigger nose, put on a few more pounds and even in height! It makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. And there’s-
“Huh…..”
“Damnit! I forgot about my crutch!”
And there’s……him. I don’t know how long I’ve stared at him but it’s a huge gap of time and within that time…no one’s noticed him or tried to give him a hand. He’s practically disabled for crying out loud! They only care for themselves.
“Here, want some help?”
“Hm?”
“You’re kinda on the ground dude.”
I put his crutch at the side of the bench and held my other hand out to him. He sort of just stared at me for awhile before taking it but I didn’t mind. Not like I was extremely busy and I felt sorry for the guy. Up close he looks just about near to my age, maybe a little younger with those puffy cheeks.
“…Thanks.”
“No problem, just be careful. I know well that none of these fuckers would think twice about helping you. Well, see ya!”
“eh…WAIT!”
“Hm?”
“Your name? would be nice.”
“Oh, Die.”
“Die……..”
I ran off before he could drag me into a full scale conversation. I needed to get back on track and lose about another 500 calories before I got to work.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I stood by the window, cigarette between my lips as I looked outside. It’s really nice and bright, I don’t know why Shinya remains to stay put within his dull room. Maybe that’s why he’s so pale, like porcelain. Poor kid…….
“Waaaaaah! You’re…smoking in-indoors!”
“That’s why I’m at the window. I know you have a hatred for smoke and cigarettes.”
With that I flicked it out the window, eyeing the flustered blonde whom may only have regained consciousness. He defiantly is something. Perfect eyes, lips, face, body, and his character…well he’s innocent to the most extreme extent. He’s…..beautiful. To wonder how I look upon being near such a person. The scars, the hatred, the mood. I’m nothing but crap, utter crap.
“Feeling better?”
“Ah..-U-um, ye-yes.”
I smiled carefully, watching him make his way to his bed, making no eye contact with me at all. Not surprising. I joined him, he scooted a little, an inch even away.
“How have you been, Shinya?”
“….F-Fine.”
Lies. He hasn’t changed in the slightest. I know this as he still refuses to ask a person further questions or reply.
“That’s good.”
Silence. I always hear how silence can slice through bread like a knife, but how can you hear it, if it is indeed silent. It’s harmless, it just provokes people in different ways. Many bad and good. This, I’m not sure what to call it.
“Have you…-”
I jumped, pressing his frail body against the mattress, he seemed unfazed, no outburst, no tantrum. He just lay there, staring back with those honey brown orbs. I didn’t want to answer him, I don’t have to. Who says I do? Staring down at him I noticed all sorts, scars on his neck, his cheek, his hands. They weren’t visible to the human eyes, but me, they were clear.
I bit my lip moving closer to inspect the marks, now he looked uncomfortable. I descended down as he turned his head, I kissed his neck in a rush, he let his hands roam up to plant themselves on my back. His breathing was quiet and gentle, the opposite of a vile creature like me.
“K-Kaoru….”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“EUGH!”
I kicked my legs in frustration, having my quilt slide off my mattress. I lay there, dark circles formed under my eyes, hair far from brushed and just ugly. I didn’t sleep, I CAN’T Sleep. It’s been a week now and I’ve managed to pull myself through the days without anyone giving me jip or having a temper. I think I’m too tired to fight so I just… let it pass. Finally managing to get myself off the bed without collapsing I rummaged through my wardrobe, flinging whatever my hands could grasp onto my weak body.
I didn’t bother to check my appearance, an excuse to avoid the mirrors and myself in case I went into another fit of sorts. Once in the kitchen I sighed as I opened the fridge-empty, cupboards-empty, freezer-empty. I guess I’ll have to go down to the café for something to stop my hunger sounds.
I’m lucky I don’t share my apartment with anyone nor is the area busy with crowds, but there’s a little café just down the street which gets a good amount of business. As I entered it seemed to be not so busy and without knowing a smile formed on my face. I ordered the breakfast special with a coffee, make that two. I need caffeine, badly.
“There ya go!”
I turned to see a waiter, he had pure red hair, black roots of course, like myself. I tilted my head to the side, cheek against my palm, studying the creature I kinda felt a bit absurd. Not like I should be a person judging anyone but I have to now, right? To fit in like everyone else, they pick on someone, the manipulate a person for their looks and actions but I- As much as I tried, I wasn’t like that. I just couldn’t be. But… this guy… seemed so….fake. If that’s what I could describe it as. He seemed to act fake, his smile, which was yellow.
“Yellow…?”
Maybe he’s a smoker, it could be that as his physic is so thin but……I feel as if I’m lying to myself. I observed him closely as he walked past, and that was it, he waved. His hand, or knuckles even, had scars, just two. That’s when I knew. He may of course be a smoker but his teeth are more yellow because he self-induced vomits. Explaining the marks on his hand, it’s from forcing his hand down his throat too often.
Looking intently I felt a sudden gash a shame come over me. What was I doing, judging this poor guy in my own head, worse that I’m doing it in my head so he can’t hear me! It’s like backstabbing! I can’t believe myself. Without another thought I fled from the café, tears threatening to release themselves without my consent, paranoia wasn’t what it should be called for I knew everyone was watching, even the red head.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I watched as the man fled from the café, he’d been staring at me for some time now, he probably didn’t even realise himself but I was carefully eyeing him, making judgment I suppose but all is fair, he did it on me first, obviously.
“Die, you’re done for the day!”
“Thanks.”
Lifting my coat I ran down the road towards my University, come to think of it I hadn’t seen Kaoru yet. He should probably be there already, destroying or fighting with someone or something.
I came to a halt at the gates, fixing my hair and clothes, of course I was welcomed like every other day but today, Kaoru there was not. I scanned the area, not finding him at all. I took out my phone, clicking number 1, yes, I have Kaoru on hot key, I need to from loosing him so many times or collecting him down at the station-police that is.
-Riiiiiing.Riiiiiing.Riiiiiiiing.Riiiiiiiing-sorry but the person you are calling is unable to answer your call, please try again later.-
Okay, now I’m worried but worse I have this uneasy feeling in my stomach, something is going on and it’s definitely wrong-hm?
I heard faint sob, turning my head I found the source of this unwanted noise. A boy, hunched up, sitting by the fountain, tears not clear to see as his face was in hiding between his arms but you could tell, well I could anyways.
Walking over I was hesitant to comfort him or seem as if I were to walk to him but just walk past him but he attracted me, not like romance, just like…Kaoru does. Or is that the same- never mind I’m in front of him now. I lean sideways, trying to catch a glimpse of his face but to no prevail he dug his face in deeper, brilliant. And as I went to pat his shoulder I heard a long watery sniff, charming. I went for the kill, curiosity killed the cat, and when I saw this boy, I think I killed all nine.
“Hey, are you okay-”
Yup, killed nine. For whom I was staring at in astonishment was staring back at me with the same exact gaze, if only I had knew earlier I would have just walked past but curiosity killed my cat.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I lifted my phone with my free hand, seems Die called me earlier, speaking of which he must be at Uni by now. Myself on the other hand….. I looked down at the young boy sleeping on my chest, his hair soft against my skin, thin leg tangled with my knee and his palm against my shoulder as if to trace the tattoos there. I was not at Uni, and probably end up not going today. Not that I could go anyways, Shinya’s still fast asleep, maybe I tired him out too much. Well, I am a few years older than him, he’s not used to this kind of attention yet. Yes-yet, for many years to come I’ll help him adjust, if I’m always here with him. It’s been years now since I only met him as a young infant.
It was a family celebration, my brother’s birthday as I recall, but to me I didn’t really care. I didn’t have much interest in our family or friends, and for them towards me the same. Maybe that’s why I went in search of something better to do to pass the time. My family didn’t like me anyways, I was trouble at school, had mood swings and at the time the doctors just said I need a good beating. And a beating was what I got. Not that I cared about it and maybe karma or God knew this as I was lead to a young boy whom was crying by himself. He had pale skin, long fair hair and plump lips. I was taken back by such a beauty, even though he was crying his tears were like pearls, tiny, sweet pearls. I accompanied him by the bank, my Yukata spread on the grass making a crunching noise. He lifted his head, startled by the sudden break of silence. I stared at him for some time, not in a harsh way but as if examine him. His Yukata hung loose off his shoulder, cheeks stained and eyes puffy. No matter, his tears had stopped at least and he was even more rasfishing than I had expected, of course at the age of seven I didn’t use those words, more like pretty and Bood-I-fool. I calmly took his hand, not saying a word nor did he react in a bad way but simply clenched tighter. It was as if we had came to a understanding by touching each other, if that were to happen to anyone else in my family I would have been pushed over by now.
Years after we always saw each other, not planned but just randomly, even our parents don’t really get what’s on between us because when we meet up we don’t exactly talk in front of others. We need to me alone to let our energy connect, with Shinya I don’t get sudden mood swings or tantrums. It’s because of him I have hope. However things changed as he grew older. There is about 3 years between us. I moved on to university and he stayed insecure at High school, because he was alone. I blame myself for his sudden adaption to life and I wish I could change it but with my own problems it’s hard enough. I put Shinya before myself at all costs, just now he has to do himself the favour and give himself confidence, like Die-
“I should call him…”
I leaned down, grasping my phone, hearing a murmer from the young boy whom seemed to have awakened. I looked down at him with earnest eyes as he pushed himself up to sit on the bed, duvet sliding a long his spine to sit around his lower torso. He rubbed his eyes furiously and looked at me.
“Well,-Afternoon.”
“Mnm….what time is it?”
“12:36”
“WAHHHHHH?! N-No I’m late! Well, Half the day is over!”
“Shusssh. Just go in, or take the day off. Not like you don’t deserve it.”
“Kaoru, you say I deserve everything all the time.”
“Because you do.”
“Kaoru……”
I Brought my phone to my ear earning a sigh from Shinya, he lifted the quilt and walked off to the bathroom. I have Die on speedial, yes- number 2 so it’s easy for me to call. Not like I call anyone else.
-Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.Riiiiiiing.Riiii- “WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?”
I braced my ear from the sudden outburst, it even caused Shinya to peek out from behind the door.
“I’m just going to be late, you not in class?”
“Wha? Oh yeah I am but-MRS SUKOKAI I’M SORRY, NO, NOT IN THE FACE, NOT THE-”
-Dead-
“He should have learned by now…..”
“Who was that?”
“Oh, a friend. He’s a little pissed I’m not in school yet.”
I stood up, sliding my clothes back on, Shinya sat on the end on the bed, looking as if he was deep in thought. I left it, incase it was something serious or related to his attitude. However as I went to leave he spoke.
“you’re all calm again, Kaoru. H-How‘s-that?”
The stutter, he’s afraid I’ll turn on him for speaking like that. I turned to him, leaning down I cupped his cheek, bring him close to myself. I kissed his gently, niping his bottom lip, I felt him ease down.
“You, calm me down,Shinya. That’s how.”
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